Struggling with depression,sadness

Zimmer36 said:

Hoping for some prayers. Maybe some advice. The past few yrs ive developed tremendous social anxiety and depression. It has messed me up and messed with my head in many ways. Ive lost most of my friends and other than my gf i dont really have any close friends anymore at all. When friends do text and wanna hang out i immediately make an excuse not to go as i know im just not the fun, goofy, great guy to be around i once was.
Today i attended the funeral of a relative. Great uncle. I feel like i said the wrong things to those in his immediate family and was overly shy. I saw one of my second cousins whom i grew up with as kids (we r 40 now) and would occasionally see each other at family reunions thro the years etc and other than basically saying sorry for your loss i just didnt know what to say to her. I had opportunity at gravesite to go and talk some more but was too shy to do it and felt like i went out of my way to avoid getting into a conversation with many of my distant relatives for fear i would say something dumb or just act shy. So i missed an opportunity to catch up with someone i would have liked to catch up with. In fact im almost worried i seemed like a jerk or a snob or whatever. That really bothered me today and made me see just how bad this has gotten.
Also - being 40 now almost 41. Things have not really panned out in my life the way i expected. Instead of paving my own path and being successful ive just stayed employed at family business where im basically doing the same thing ive done since i was a teenager. Ive watched all my siblings move off to big nice towns and big nice homes and good jobs and all i am doing is the family business and renting a small old house in a small old lonely town. And all my siblings r younger. All my friends have hit it big and moved to the top of their jobs. All building new big homes and have families and everything going great. While i still feel like a teenager who just moved out of his parents house or something.
My relationship with God has been off and on. Ive almost gotten to where i feel God gave up on me im too selfish, narcissistic,worldly. Im unsure if He even hears my prayers at all as i am unsure if he has truly answered any or spoke to me in any way. Part of me questions my belief and sometimes i even question our whole existence if its all even real or just some weird simulation or something we cant comprehend. I got caught up in doom and gloom prophecies by all these youtube folk ever since last year and i just feel numb to everything now as everyone was date setting this or that and things didnt happen the way any of them said. So after that its basically hard to trust anyone at all who calls themself a prophet or teacher or even pastor.
Ive got to fix my life things hav got to change for me. Ive been like this awhile now but ive just gotten worse and days and years go by and im just completely stuck. I feel if i died not many would be at my funeral. And probably no one would say anything good about me as ive not really helped anyone. Or impacted anyone in any way or done anything worth mentioning at all. I dont know why im even here what is my purpose? I bring nothing good to anyone. Ive qccomplished absolutely nothing. Ill be 41 soon and i have no children. I just dont know what to do. Even my gf when we fight tells me im always just wanting to be alone and im selfish and im gonna end up dying alone. I pray and ask God for help to get me on the right path but He wont answer me. Im sorry this is long guys i just have no one to talk to about this.

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Just remember that God really really loves you and Jesus is our Lord and Saviour

Zimmer36 said:

My relationship with God has been off and on.

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When I disciplined myself to fix this , everything else fell in place. I suffered (still suffer at times) from anxiety and depression, my strength has proven only to be enough for me to survive and not to live and enjoy the life that was/is given to me. I needed to rely on a greater source of strength and power to see life the way I am supposed to. That greatest & perennial source of strength, in my experience and knowledge, is GOD and none/nowhere else!

For me, the on-and-off relation with GOD wasn't sufficient because bigger the challenge big enough you are to be to win it. I cannot begin to explain how big of a challenge Depression and Anxiety can be. You know it well.

Reading and meditating upon His word and disciplining myself and staying committed to fill myself with his word of hope, meaning, joy & Peace, every single day, helped me to crawl out of that depression and anxiety. I still suffer, but with the hope that HIS grace is sufficient for each day, each episode and each consequence. When I have that "steady" connection with Him, the way I look at my life changes, no matter how my mind tricks me, I feel hopeful, I am able to decipher meaning and sense from what happens in my life and importantly I grow spiritually and emotionally with every hurdle/failed attempt.

So, there is hope, but you got to do what it takes.

"Peace" is a promise from our heavenly Father. He is serious about his promises. We need to be too!

You are in my prayers, friend!

Zimmer36 said:

Hoping for some prayers.

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So, we thank God and we trust God to do what is good for you and your girlfriend and families.

Trust God, yes. Trust God about all this that you have shared with us.

And you can find Christian people who can get to know you, so they can see through you and really help you. You need people who are a good example, not just trying to control you and use you >

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

You need ones who are "examples" of how to be gentle and humble and quiet. But this means you need to not get bored with kind and gentle people. But appreciate ones who are gentle and humble like Jesus.

Zimmer you said:

When friends do text and wanna hang out i immediately make an excuse not to go as i know im just not the fun, goofy, great guy to be around i once was.

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Well, friendship is not only for being entertaining, by being goofy and fun and "great". If you and your friends look for this, this could trick you into not being able to appreciate a genuinely gentle and humble person who loves any and all people the way Jesus wants. So, like I say, you need to be able to appreciate sharing with mature Christian people and not find them to be boring because they are quiet and kind and humble.

Jesus is "gentle and lowly in heart" > Matthew 11:29. So, you need to be quiet and honest with God and humble so you can relate with God through Jesus. God does not want to only tell you things and talk to you; but Jesus wants to share with you personally.

So, you need to trust Jesus, and obey Him because you trust Him.

"If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me." (in Luke 9:24)

Jesus knows how you are suffering in your fear and depression; but all of us have needed Jesus. All of us have suffered in our sinning; but Jesus has hope for all of us. God's word says, love "hopes all things", in 1 Corinthians 13:7. And Jesus loves us all; Jesus has hope for any person, at all; and so Jesus called to "all" >

"'Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.'" (Matthew 11:28-29)

So, Jesus has hope for you.

Therefore, do not trust any thinking and excuses which tell you otherwise. And do not trust what your failure might tell you.

You also said:

The past few yrs ive developed tremendous social anxiety and depression. It has messed me up and messed with my head in many ways.

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So, do not trust this stuff and what it can tell you. Worry is a pathological liar and abuser, right? So, if a friend treated you the way worry can treat any of us, would we keep trusting what a liar and abuser does to us? Well, there are people who do keep staying with liars and abusers; but I would say, don't keep trusting such a person, do not keep shacking with worry and fear and depression, but get with Jesus, instead.

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." (in 1 John 4:18)

Possibly, you can see, here, how a person needs to be "made" perfect in God's love. Every one of us who can pray for you right has needed how Jesus first saved us from our sins, but He also has deeply corrected our character so we do not keep giving in to fear in many different ways. But there is hope for any person, because God is the One able to change us out of that cruel and horrible degrading stuff > "from the power of Satan to God," Jesus says in Acts 26:18.

Fear is cruel; hate is cruel. But God is kind to us, in us. Jesus is kind to us in gentle and humble and quiet emotions. So, we trust Jesus for this, with "rest for your souls." (in Matthew 11:29)

And you said:

Even my gf when we fight tells me im always just wanting to be alone and im selfish and im gonna end up dying alone.

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Well, fighting is not loving, and yes you can lose ever more. But you need to have hope for yourselves, and not just fight because of fear.

Remember how genuinely Christian leaders need to lead by example >

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

Actually, all of us need to relate by being "examples" > taking the lead in how others need to relate and live and to love. So, do not try to lord yourself over her, by fighting with her. But offer her your encouraging example, taking the lead in how to relate and do things. Even if she does not follow your good example, do not try to force her, and do not trust arguing and fighting. God uses good example with prayer.

"'He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.'" (John 12:25)

Jesus knows how many people are suffering, deeply, not enjoying Him in His "rest for your souls". They are not sharing as His family, like His words says for us to relate as family >

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32)

And part of why they are missing out on this is because they are caring only or mainly about their own lives, and using people to get what they want. And fighting can come with trying to use only certain people for what we want, instead of loving them by being gentle and kind with them. And so people lose their lives . . . even before they die.

Pleasure seeking can help to keep any of us weak so we can fight and argue. But love never has us just using any person. And we stay ready to forgive > "even as God", our Apostle Paul says and tells us to do.

But in selfish pleasure seeking and in immorality we can stay weak so we can keep giving in to very cruel emotions and feelings and fighting and bitterness and frustration. Weakness for foolish pleasures works overtime to be weakness for depression and fear and worry and anxiety and social insecurity.

You said:

Instead of paving my own path and being successful ive just stayed employed at family business where im basically doing the same thing ive done since i was a teenager.

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This can be good. What can be bad is letting your weakness for selfish pleasure work overtime to keep you weak for fear and shame.

Jesus says people suffer and lose so much because they give in to "cares of this life" (Luke 21:34) > and with this they also can be taken down by money and pleasure . . . in their weakness of selfishness >

"'Now the ones that fell among thorns are those who, when they have heard, go out and are choked with cares, riches, and pleasures of life, and bring no fruit to maturity.'" (Luke 8:14)

So, working with your family can be good. God is about family. You can learn how to love in God's family caring and sharing way > this is the best and greatest challenge and education and adventure we can have, in sharing with Jesus, of course. So, if you want hope, have hope for this which is possible with our Heavenly Father > actively seek our Father's correction which brings us here

Depression is an interesting subject. There can be various elements contributing such as genetic inclination,diet, nutrition, exercise, even things like enough blue light. There are many experiments one can do to discover if there are ways to minimize the effect.

There are also experiments one can do to see if one can change how one thinks. For example you mentioned being more buoyant in the past. If you have grown to see yourself as a failure by measurement standards such as income and possessions, you want to reexamine these standards as they may actually be the failure.

Seeing what others have and feeling a loss can be a type of self-inflicted pain. Elizabeth Elliot (who had a ministry to women) once said that half her mail was from women who desperately wanted to be married and the other half was from women who desperately wished they weren't.

You mentioned regret about children. However, this also means you have not had to bear the pain children can cause. "How sharper than a serpent's tooth a thankless child".

Depression tends to see everyone else as having it "better" when in actuality many have it worse. The most precious thing Christians have is truth. When you allow that to be distorted, it can cripple your walk with the Lord.

The bible tells us that four things are truth, the bible, God, Jesus, and the Spirit of truth. God knows your struggles and is waiting to help. All you have to do is come to him in humility to receive his grace.

God established a system to approach him based on faith (trusting) rather than performance (rule keeping). As a result, there is no limit to his mercy and forgiveness.

Live for God, do what good you can for others, grow in his word, and experiment as to what control you can exert over your depression, you might discover some ways to make it more manageable.

Zimmer36 said:

Hoping for some prayers. Maybe some advice. The past few yrs ive developed tremendous social anxiety and depression. It has messed me up and messed with my head in many ways. Ive lost most of my friends and other than my gf i dont really have any close friends anymore at all. When friends do text and wanna hang out i immediately make an excuse not to go as i know im just not the fun, goofy, great guy to be around i once was.
Today i attended the funeral of a relative. Great uncle. I feel like i said the wrong things to those in his immediate family and was overly shy. I saw one of my second cousins whom i grew up with as kids (we r 40 now) and would occasionally see each other at family reunions thro the years etc and other than basically saying sorry for your loss i just didnt know what to say to her. I had opportunity at gravesite to go and talk some more but was too shy to do it and felt like i went out of my way to avoid getting into a conversation with many of my distant relatives for fear i would say something dumb or just act shy. So i missed an opportunity to catch up with someone i would have liked to catch up with. In fact im almost worried i seemed like a jerk or a snob or whatever. That really bothered me today and made me see just how bad this has gotten.
Also - being 40 now almost 41. Things have not really panned out in my life the way i expected. Instead of paving my own path and being successful ive just stayed employed at family business where im basically doing the same thing ive done since i was a teenager. Ive watched all my siblings move off to big nice towns and big nice homes and good jobs and all i am doing is the family business and renting a small old house in a small old lonely town. And all my siblings r younger. All my friends have hit it big and moved to the top of their jobs. All building new big homes and have families and everything going great. While i still feel like a teenager who just moved out of his parents house or something.
My relationship with God has been off and on. Ive almost gotten to where i feel God gave up on me im too selfish, narcissistic,worldly. Im unsure if He even hears my prayers at all as i am unsure if he has truly answered any or spoke to me in any way. Part of me questions my belief and sometimes i even question our whole existence if its all even real or just some weird simulation or something we cant comprehend. I got caught up in doom and gloom prophecies by all these youtube folk ever since last year and i just feel numb to everything now as everyone was date setting this or that and things didnt happen the way any of them said. So after that its basically hard to trust anyone at all who calls themself a prophet or teacher or even pastor.
Ive got to fix my life things hav got to change for me. Ive been like this awhile now but ive just gotten worse and days and years go by and im just completely stuck. I feel if i died not many would be at my funeral. And probably no one would say anything good about me as ive not really helped anyone. Or impacted anyone in any way or done anything worth mentioning at all. I dont know why im even here what is my purpose? I bring nothing good to anyone. Ive qccomplished absolutely nothing. Ill be 41 soon and i have no children. I just dont know what to do. Even my gf when we fight tells me im always just wanting to be alone and im selfish and im gonna end up dying alone. I pray and ask God for help to get me on the right path but He wont answer me. Im sorry this is long guys i just have no one to talk to about this.

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God has a purpose for you no matter what your occupation - and you can find it in Mattew 28

Matt 28:
18 And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

A million years from now you will look back on this very shot snip of time - and ask yourself why you ever lost track of the big picture.

Do yourself a favor - stop saying you won't do yourself a favor.

Begin by reading/watching everything in this post.

=======================

take a few minutes to watch this life-changing testimony.

Chinese communist atheist direct encounter with Christ -


An amazing testimony by a former Chinese communist who recently converted to Christianity due to a direct encounter with Christ... truly an amazing testimony.


===========================And also this one...


Must See Amazing Story! Saved from alternate-lifestyle, drugs, suicide, demon worship, and a strict non-Christian faith.

Zimmer36 said:

Hoping for some prayers. Maybe some advice. The past few yrs ive developed tremendous social anxiety and depression. It has messed me up and messed with my head in many ways. Ive lost most of my friends and other than my gf i dont really have any close friends anymore at all. When friends do text and wanna hang out i immediately make an excuse not to go as i know im just not the fun, goofy, great guy to be around i once was.
Today i attended the funeral of a relative. Great uncle. I feel like i said the wrong things to those in his immediate family and was overly shy. I saw one of my second cousins whom i grew up with as kids (we r 40 now) and would occasionally see each other at family reunions thro the years etc and other than basically saying sorry for your loss i just didnt know what to say to her. I had opportunity at gravesite to go and talk some more but was too shy to do it and felt like i went out of my way to avoid getting into a conversation with many of my distant relatives for fear i would say something dumb or just act shy. So i missed an opportunity to catch up with someone i would have liked to catch up with. In fact im almost worried i seemed like a jerk or a snob or whatever. That really bothered me today and made me see just how bad this has gotten.
Also - being 40 now almost 41. Things have not really panned out in my life the way i expected. Instead of paving my own path and being successful ive just stayed employed at family business where im basically doing the same thing ive done since i was a teenager. Ive watched all my siblings move off to big nice towns and big nice homes and good jobs and all i am doing is the family business and renting a small old house in a small old lonely town. And all my siblings r younger. All my friends have hit it big and moved to the top of their jobs. All building new big homes and have families and everything going great. While i still feel like a teenager who just moved out of his parents house or something.
My relationship with God has been off and on. Ive almost gotten to where i feel God gave up on me im too selfish, narcissistic,worldly. Im unsure if He even hears my prayers at all as i am unsure if he has truly answered any or spoke to me in any way. Part of me questions my belief and sometimes i even question our whole existence if its all even real or just some weird simulation or something we cant comprehend. I got caught up in doom and gloom prophecies by all these youtube folk ever since last year and i just feel numb to everything now as everyone was date setting this or that and things didnt happen the way any of them said. So after that its basically hard to trust anyone at all who calls themself a prophet or teacher or even pastor.
Ive got to fix my life things hav got to change for me. Ive been like this awhile now but ive just gotten worse and days and years go by and im just completely stuck. I feel if i died not many would be at my funeral. And probably no one would say anything good about me as ive not really helped anyone. Or impacted anyone in any way or done anything worth mentioning at all. I dont know why im even here what is my purpose? I bring nothing good to anyone. Ive qccomplished absolutely nothing. Ill be 41 soon and i have no children. I just dont know what to do. Even my gf when we fight tells me im always just wanting to be alone and im selfish and im gonna end up dying alone. I pray and ask God for help to get me on the right path but He wont answer me. Im sorry this is long guys i just have no one to talk to about this.

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Obedience to God will keep you in a good place. If there are any areas where you are not obeying God's word, you need to turn it around.

Pro 28:1 Wicked people run away when no one chases them, but those who live right are as brave as lions.

Sin is deceptive, and oppressive, that is why we need to be moving towards God continually. The bible tells us that the fruits of God's Spirit, are love, joy, and peace. We receive these attributes as we spend consistent, daily time with God in prayer, and bible reading. It can be a struggle initially, as the devil hates to see a good ending, but as we persist through the initial pain, we will come out to a place of rest and greater strength.

Dear Zimmer36

many people think about sense of life, why we are here, if we don´t have dream job or we are without children. Because we live our lifes with emotions, I mean that we are here, because we must live some bad emotions and how we are able to remove them from our hearts, we are happy.

Even I speak three foreign languages and have 30 years experiences in international business, I was fired out and I didn´t have any career. I don´t have children, but I can tell you that I am happy in my life. Why? Because every time, when I feel bad emotion like sadness, social anxiety or depression, I ask God to help me remove these emotions from my heart. And I am so strong believer that Lord helps me everytime and I feel happy. Also my life changed so that I meet good people only, I am relaxed, I have to much time and do what I want.

I can advice you ones more: God is our best friend. You can talk to Lord and your body will create nice hormone, oxytocin and you will feel better. Praying will create in your body endorphines - hormones of happiness.

God bless you

Peter