Not Just Relationship, Fellowship.

All born-again believers are in a relationship with God as His adopted children (Romans 8:16; Galatians 4:4-7; Ephesians 1:5). This family connection, however, doesn't necessarily produce a close, intimate interaction - fellowship - between parent and child. Many are the stories of deep estrangement between earthly children and their parents. So, too, among believers and their Heavenly Father. In fact, in my experience anyway, the majority of Christians among whom I move regularly have a very...distant quality to their interactions with God. Indeed, many of them don't really know what they mean when they speak of "walking with God." They certainly aren't thinking of intimate communion - fellowship - with Him. Such talk, they believe, is the domain of the Christian mystic, the religious ascetic cloistered away in a monastery, not the "average Joe" Christian working nine-to-five, five days a week, raising a family, keeping the lawn trim, fixing broken toilets, taking the dog to the vet and the children to the dentist, or hockey practice, or ballet classes. How in the world in the middle of all of this activity, this responsibility, can one make the room for anything like fellowship with God?

By this sort of rationalization, by the "sensible, practical" attendance to "necessary" things, many believers greatly neglect going deeper with God. They pick the most crucial things, of course, in their lists of responsibilities as the basis for this neglect. "You don't want me to have a job? Am I supposed to just read my Bible all day and let my family starve? Is that what you want? God'll just feed my family while I worship Him and pray all day? I guess fellowship is more important than keeping a roof over my kids's heads, eh?" It seeming entirely obvious to them that such thinking is utterly ridiculous - which it is - they dismiss completely their lack of intimate communion with God.

Other Christians take a different tack toward the idea of fellowship with God, diminishing its meaning, its character, to accommodate any form of spiritual living no matter how superficial. They make relationship and fellowship synonymous, essentially, denying any difference between merely being adopted by God and walking in joyful communion with Him. By this means, no concerted effort on their part is required to "walk with God"; they are doing so simply by virtue of being saved.

Still other believers make fellowship with God an acutely sensual thing. The more they are emotionally excited, the more their physical senses are stimulated, the more they have wild "supernatural" experiences of God, the more they are having fellowship with Him. They assert that such fellowship is always marked by high emotion and sensuality; there can be no fellowship with God apart from "Spirit fire," or being "slain in the Spirit," speaking in tongues, and so on. One must have an overt, physical encounter with God, an encounter one can feel physically in tingles, or warm oozies, or emotional hysteria, or in a drug-like euphoric stupor. This, they declare, is "fellowship" with God. It is impossible, though, to maintain this state of affairs for any great length of time. And so, "fellowship" with God is relegated to "special events," conferences, meetings, sessions, where "Spirit fire rains down" - for a little while.

I would suggest to you that all of these approaches to fellowship with God (or the absence thereof) are thoroughly unbiblical. In fact, I would go so far as to say that Christian living that is like what I've just described is profoundly contrary to what it is God has called all of His children to in relationship with Himself.

Okay, so, what exactly do I mean by "fellowship"?

I've already suggested a basic meaning: intimate communion. All right. How, precisely, does fellowship differ from relationship? A good example of the difference is presented in the parable of Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32). Among other things, the parable illustrates how one can have a relationship without fellowship. As you probably know, the Prodigal demands his inheritance, runs off with it to a distant land where he lives it up in profligate fashion, wasting his inheritance, ending finally, destitute and hungry, searching for food in a pig pen.

In all of his wretched living, the Prodigal was always his father's son. Despite his distance from his father, despite how displeasing his behaviour was to his father, his blood-relationship to his father remained, unbreakable. His fellowship with his father, however, was a very different matter. In this respect, in respect to their communion with one another, the father declared his son "dead." They did not speak to each other, or spend time in one another's company, or do things together. There was no interaction between them at all, nothing that communicated and built love, and joy, and peace between them, nothing that deepened their direct knowledge and positive experience of one another. Only when the Prodigal returned in contrite humility to his father was their fellowship restored.

And what a restoration! The father demanded no penance; he required no season of restitution; he commanded no trial of proof of the son's changed heart. Immediately, he arranged a celebration in honor of the son's return, moving to restore fellowship with his son as quickly as possible. Wow. There's no mistaking in the parable the great desire of the father for fellowship - not just relationship - with his child.

Our heavenly Father has not made us His children only so that we can claim relationship to Him. No, like the father of the Prodigal, God wants us to enjoy intimate, loving communion with Him. He wants to expand our personal, direct knowledge of Himself, increasing day-by-day our joy and loving fidelity to Him, and as a result, causing us more and more to center everything we are and do upon Himself. This is, in fact, what He made us for; it is, as the French would say, our "raison d'etre." We were made, not to marry and raise children, not to establish good careers, not to obtain fame and fortune, not to set a world record, or write a best-selling novel, or to find the cure for cancer, but to know God, and in knowing Him, come to love Him, and in loving Him, to find fullness of joy (Psalms 16:11), the peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7), and the love that exceeds all knowledge (Ephesians 3:19). When we do, we can't help but fulfill our highest, greatest purpose, which is the glorification of God (1 Corinthians 10:31). From a life of intimate communion with God, from a life filled with the beauty, power, truth and love of God, comes the most natural, the truest and most enthusiastic praise and worship of Him.

So, are you merely related to God as His child, saved, safe from hell, but living far from God in a "distant country"? Or are your days ones of ever-growing personal, joyful experience of your Maker?

More to follow later.

Whoa! Pretty cold, Jesus. "Let the dead bury the dead"? Yikes! Surely, burying one's parent is a very important task. No good person would neglect to see their parent properly interred. Right? A responsible, loving person would never forsake such an essential task.

Was Jesus against a person being responsible, loving, and careful for familial obligations? Was Jesus telling this unnamed disciple to be hard-hearted, neglectful and irresponsible? Of course not. But he WAS making it really clear what the order of priority should be for one of his disciples. In any contest between spiritual responsibilities and the host of mundane responsibilities of life - even one as important as burying one's parent - a disciple of Jesus must put spiritual responsibilities, put his walk with Jesus, first.

Jesus was directly challenging the "tyranny of the urgent" under which so many Christians operate. How often I've heard believers justify sacrificing fellowship with God by appeal to the urgent, necessary, practical demands of life they MUST fulfill if they are to be good, responsible, sensible people! God doesn't want us to be careless, right? "Let the dead bury the dead." God doesn't want us to neglect our responsibilities, right? "Let the dead bury the dead." God doesn't want us to have a bad testimony before others, right? "Let the dead bury the dead."

The unnamed disciple was excusing himself from following Jesus by appeal to the "necessary." But there is no real discipleship if there is no following Christ, if there is no fellowship with him. One cannot be sacrificing time with God in order to mow the lawn, or take Bobby to swimming classes, or fix the toilet and be a true disciple of Jesus.

Again, Jesus isn't saying one should not be responsible or that one should always neglect mundane duties and activities. He is saying, "Put me first." Shove aside whatever you have to - sleep, hobbies, sports, t.v., etc. - to make room for him. Order your life so that all those "necessary" things do not impinge on time spent with God. You can do without more t.v. viewing; you'll be quite all right if you don't get that pair of mittens knitted by Wednesday; you'll be fine if you don't go on that fishing trip with your buddies. But you most definitely won't be okay if you give short shrift to intimate communion with God.

Here's why:

Others are watching you.

Your kids. Your neighbors. Your co-workers. Your spouse, or siblings. They're all looking to see what being a Christian is like. Is "walking with God" just religious fluff? Just empty ritual, hypocritical moralizing, and baseless belief? Or do you actually experience God every day? Can those looking on see God at work in you, altering your character, increasing your joy and peace, deepening your love for Him and others, purifying your life? Do they hear you tell, naturally and enthusiastically, of the things God has done - and is doing - in your life, of His power to alter you, to provide for you, to illuminate, protect and lead you? These are things genuinely encountered only in fellowship with God, that appear in your life as a consequence of time spent in communion with Him. Or, instead, is your life a lot of talk and very little walk? Do they see a person claiming to be a disciple of Jesus but constantly neglecting him in favor of the "burying the dead"? How many children, witnessing this sort of empty "Christianity" in the lives of their parents, forsake it for the pointless effort it really is? How many other people, seeing the absence of anything real in your “experience” of God, are moved farther from Him as a result? Have you become, in your “responsible” but spiritually-impotent living, the reason people reject Christ?

You miss out.

God made you for fellowship with Himself. When you live according to this purpose, there is a richness to life, a deep, supernatural fulfillment and eternal meaning in living, that cannot be produced by any other means. Such fulfillment will never arrive by keeping a clean house, and a neat lawn, by having a bulging bank account and a cottage at the lake. Only in communion with God is the "abundant life" He offers (John 10:10; Psalms 16:11) obtained. Sadly, terribly, many believers know nothing of such a life - and are content never to really know it. It is, after all, hard to care about what one has never experienced and does not believe is even possible.

Sin creeps in.

There is no middle, neutral ground on which you can stand between living in fellowship with God and not. It's one or the other, not both. If you aren't going toward God, higher up and deeper in with Him, you are going away from Him into darkness and sin. Oh, it might not look like it; on the surface, you may appear to be a "good Christian," but in private, in secret, the World, the flesh and the devil have you by the throat. This reality may not come out in full-blown, overt wickedness, but in a myriad of smaller, more easily obscured, points of rebellion toward God: Bitter, constant scrapping with one's spouse, ill-temper with one's children or neighbors, chronic complaining, various addictions, deep spiritual apathy, contentiousness at church, arrogance, and so on. The end of this sort of living, God promises, is always death. (Romans 6:23; Galatians 6:7-8; James 1:13-15)

It is not cruelty that motivated Christ's hard words to the unnamed disciple. "Let the dead bury the dead," is not meant to encourage cold, careless living but to set out for those who would walk with God the proper order of things. Are you "letting the dead bury the dead" where it is necessary? Are you making any sacrifice of those "urgent," "important" things so that you can spend time with God?

More to follow later.

Throughout the New Testament a tension is described between the things of the flesh and the things of the Spirit. Paul, in particular, wrote in detail of the opposition between the flesh and the Spirit:

Galatians 5:17
17 For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.

Romans 8:5-8
5 For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.
6 For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace,
7 because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so,
8 and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

It is in bodies of flesh that all believers exist in this world. Through the senses of their bodies, believers navigate material reality. They feel the rain, wind and sunshine on their skin; they taste the myriad foodstuffs God has given to them to enjoy; they see the faces of their loved ones, and the countless stars in the heavens at night; they hear the sigh of a summer breeze through the treetops, or the crashing of waves on the beach, and so on. Human beings are unavoidably sensual creatures; it's just the way God has made them to be. There is, then, nothing intrinsically wrong, or immoral, about our physical senses and the exercise of them.

We are all of us, though, sin-prone, by nature inclined toward pathological selfishness and the prideful, rebellious, fractious evil living such selfishness produces. As Paul wrote in the quotation above, by default we all have minds "set on the flesh" that are incorrigibly hostile toward God and cannot be brought into subjection to Him. (See also: Titus 3:3-4; Ephesians 2:1-3; Colossians 1:21) Through trusting in Christ as our Saviour and Lord, however, we die to unregenerate Self, the "Old Man" (Romans 6:6), and to its power and preoccupation with fleshly things. (Romans 6; Galatians 2:20; Colossians 3:1-3; Galatians 5:24, etc.)

But often we have well-set habits of living that reflect the rule of the "Old Man," the fleshly-minded person we were before we were given new life in Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). We are, too, still in fleshly, sensual bodies with powerful, physical impulses. Both our habits of sin and the strong, natural impulses of our flesh war against the Spirit who is working to transform our old fleshly thinking and conduct to reflect himself, the Spirit of Christ (Romans 8:9), and to bring under his full control the impulses of the body.

In light of this, is it likely that spiritual living will be oriented upon the flesh? Will "walking in the Spirit" engage significantly the sensual, fleshly side of who we are? Ought we to pursue in fellowship with God a sensual experience of Him, an experience that appeals directly and aggressively to the "things of the flesh"?

Obviously not.

What, then, of things like "toking the Spirit," or "Spirit soaking," or being "drunk in the Spirit"? What of instances of violent possession by the Holy Spirit where a person is made hysterical and convulses wildly on the floor? What should one think of all of the practices of so many Christians that are focused upon a fleshly, sensual experience of a spiritual reality? Are these things legitimate forms of fellowship with God?

Absolutely not. These things could not be more contrary to spiritual living, to genuine communion with God. As a rule, the more sensual one's approach to God, the further from Him one will move. And so, we see the two things - fleshliness and true spirituality - contrasted again and again in the New Testament:

Philippians 3:18-21
18 For many walk, of whom I often told you, and now tell you even weeping, that they are enemies of the cross of Christ,
19 whose end is destruction, whose god is their appetite, and whose glory is in their shame, who set their minds on earthly things.
20 For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ;
21 who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory, by the exertion of the power that He has even to subject all things to Himself.

A fleshly mind is a worldly, temporally-focused mind. It is a mind occupied with material gain and the satisfaction and fleshly self-gratification obtained through such gain. In contrast, a spiritually-minded person is looking eagerly toward the life to come in eternity, the heavenly hereafter, in which their flesh will be glorified and freed forever from its natural corruption. (See: Colossians 3:1-3) This is, of course, inevitably reflected in one's fellowship with God by a disinterest in the accumulation of wealth and constant gratification of the flesh. In fellowship with God, one's attention is fixed on Him (2 Corinthians 3:18; Hebrews 12:2-3), not the body, on the eternal, heavenly glory to come, not the temporary glitter and noise of earthly things (James 1:9-11; 2 Peter 3:10-13).

James 3:13-18
13 Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.
14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth.
15 This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic.
16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.
17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.
18 And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

What are the characteristics of heavenly wisdom?

- gentleness
- purity
- peaceableness
- reasonableness
- mercy
- steadfastness
- without hypocrisy
- righteousness

And the characteristics of sensual, earthly, demonic "wisdom"?

- bitterness
- jealousy
- arrogance
- lying
- selfish ambition
- disorder
- evil

The contrast between heavenly wisdom and earthly, sensual wisdom could not be more stark in James's description of the two. In particular, it is worth noting that spiritual, heavenly wisdom is marked by peace, gentleness and reason, not frenzy, chaos and violence. One's fellowship with God will be characterized by the former things, never the latter. What, then, of "fellowship" with God that is of a kind with demonic possession, where the believer is thrown about in a passion, maniacally laughing or crying, convulsing, speaking in frenzied gibberish, utterly out of control? Does such behaviour comport with what James described above of heavenly wisdom? Not at all!

Christ offers peace and rest in fellowship with himself (Matthew 11:28-30), not agitation and hysteria; Christ gives to us in the Person of the Spirit love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, meekness, faithfulness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23; Philippians 4:6-7), not intense sensual stimulation, not physical feelings, or high, wild emotion; Christ invites us into a life of stillness, quietness and order, not the sudden overwhelming of one's mental, emotional and physical faculties. (Exodus 33:14; Isaiah 32:17-18; Psalms 23:2; 1 Corinthians 14:33) Life in the Spirit is life under his control, a life of inner stability, free from fear (2 Timothy 1:7; Romans 8:15; 1 John 4:16-19), forsaking the World (Galatians 6:14; 1 John 2:15) and the flesh (Matthew 16:24-25; John 12:24-25) for higher, greater fellowship with God.

The joy of fellowship with God may lead to shouts of jubilation, or to tears, or even to a happy jig, but these are occasional side-effects of communion with Him, they are mere by-products of fellowship with God, not the means, or substance, of fellowship with Him. Too often, though, believers chase after the by-products of fellowship with God, wanting the tears, or happy jig, but not the One who delights the soul such that they can't help but sing, or weep, or dance. They simply want to feel good, to have a wild experience, and call it God, not actually live a spiritual life of death to Self and service to God, holy and quiet, eagerly waiting for life beyond the here-and-now.

Make no mistake:

"...to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually-minded is life and peace."

There are so many things that crowd up to us in the Christian life, obscuring or counterfeiting fellowship with God. But all of them fall away before a single-minded, fierce, unrelenting desire for God. If we really want to know God, to draw close to Him in intimate, daily communion, He will draw near to us (James 4:8) and dissolve all the distractions, all the little "gods" we worship, all the false versions of knowing Him in which we become embroiled. The apostle Paul cast aside everything in his pursuit of knowing God, of knowing Christ - even, finally, his life. And he found what he so greatly desired. "For me to live is Christ," Paul wrote. (Philippians 1:21) His life was totally oriented around knowing and walking with Jesus because he had "tasted and seen that the Lord is good." (Psalms 34:1)

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
9 And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
10 Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

Romans 15:29
29 I know that when I come to you I will come in the fullness of the blessing of Christ.

Ephesians 3:17-21
17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love,
18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,
19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,
21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Does Paul's single-minded chasing after God delight or disturb you? Do you find yourself thinking Paul was too radical, a bit foolish, even, in how he ordered his life entirely around Christ? Maybe, too, you tell yourself such living is impossible - or, at least, impractical - today. "Paul was special," you say, "Unique. We aren't all called to be Paul." This is true. We aren't all called to Paul's ministry, but we are all called to his experience of God, of Christ. The Saviour of Paul is the Saviour of you and I; the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge that filled Paul with all the fullness of God is the same divine love in which you and I can share today as spiritual brothers and sisters to Paul. We, too, can live in the "fullness of the blessing of Christ," as Paul did. Do you want to?

C.S. Lewis wrote of children playing in a dirty alley, making mud-pies. They have only ever known the alley and so, when a man passing by offers them a day at the beach, they refuse. They can't conceive of such a thing, never having known it. But they know their alley and their mud-pies. They choose the lesser but known for the greater but unknown.

Christians make the same choice in their experience of God for much the same reasons. But imagine for a moment what the child who travels to the beach encounters. He will first have to move along unfamiliar roads, through foreign districts of the city, leaving far behind his friends and the familiar alley; but when he arrives at the beach, well, imagine his shock, his joy, his enormous pleasure in discovering golden sand, the ocean breeze, bright sunshine and blue skies to distant horizons, a vast expanse of waving water. Such wonder exists? It always has.

Will this child have to force himself to delight in the beach? Will he look back in his mind to the dreary alley and desire it, mourning its absence? Leaping through the water, playing in the sand, warmed by the sun, will he suddenly stop and yearn for mud-pies and darkness? I very much doubt it.

Many Christians, though, are skeptical of the "abundant life" found in Christ. They have familiar religious "mud pies" - doctrinal hobby-horses, comfortable church rituals, easy, external conformity to Christian living - that they can't (or, won't) believe are just weak shadows of what can be known in true fellowship with God. Never mind that they've never seen the "Promised Land" they possess in Jesus; never mind that they have no idea what the "fullness of God" is; never mind that they have never experienced the "sunshine, breeze and ocean" of true fellowship with God; they like their mud-pies, thank-you, and it is enough.

But if these Christians would only step out in faith and trust themselves to God's promises, convinced of the love and goodness of God, what a life in Christ they would encounter! What fellowship with God they'd enjoy! Standing on the beach of intimate communion with God, they would find themselves joyfully, easily laying aside their "dark alleys and mud-pies," revolted at the thought of ever returning to them.

There will be a necessary journey from the comfort and familiarity of the alley to the golden shore, moving through unfamiliar territory with God, traveling farther and farther from darkness to light, and so patience and trust in Him is necessary. But, if one will endure in hope and faith the road to the seashore, the wonder and pleasure of a "day at the beach" with God will be found and come to be one's daily experience.

Psalm 16:11
11 You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

DiscipleOfChrist85 said:

I must as then, now that I understand that I have enter true fellowship in Christ, how does one go about fellowshipping with God correctly ?

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1.) Know God.
2.) Love God.
3.) Submit to God.
4.) Reflect God in your living.

1.) Know God.

Not just know about God - which is important - but know Him in personal, daily experience. This knowledge grows out of both study (not just reading) of the Bible (Psalms 1; Psalms 119:11; Psalms 119:105; Proverbs 3:1-3; Matthew 4:4; 2 Timothy 3:16-17, etc.), and through recognizing and responding to the Spirit's convicting you of sin, through his teaching you divine truth from Scripture, his strengthening you in times of trial and temptation, his comforting you in times of trouble and suffering, and his making you progressively more like Jesus in your desires, thinking and conduct.

2.) Love God.

Not just know that God loves you but be fully convinced that He does (1 John 4:16). This comes about partly through considering carefully what the Bible says about how much God loves you, giving yourself undisturbed time and space in which to meditate fully upon the truth of His great love for you, settling deeply into the joy, peace and rest of this truth. It also comes about through actually experiencing His love for you in the things He does that I've described in point #1.

3.) Submit to God.

When you know and love God, it is natural to submit to His will and way. And the more this is so, the greater the Spirit's transformation of you will be. In fact, submission is The Key to fellowship with God (Romans 6:13-22; Romans 12:1; James 4:6-10; 1 Peter 5:7; Micah 6:8). He's God, right? We can only know and walk with Him as inferior to Superior, as servant to Master, as child to Parent. And so, we consciously and repeatedly submit ourselves to Him throughout every day. As we do, the Spirit moves to take us more and more into intimate communion - fellowship - with God.

4.) Reflect God in your living.

The effect of all these things is a changed life, a life that reflects knowledge and love of God and submission to Him. Such a life is inevitably holy (Ephesians 5:9), confessing (1 John 1:9) and forsaking sin (2 Corinthians 6:14-18; Ephesians 5:1-12), dying to Self (Matthew 16:24-25) and living instead in the truths of the believer's spiritual identity in Christ.* It isn't that the born-again believer manufactures this life from their own resources of will and strength for God, but that they by faith receive, remain in, and reflect what the Spirit is doing in them as they live in persistent, daily - even moment-by-moment - submission to Him.

* (Romans 6:1-11; Romans 8:13-16; Galatians 2:20; Colossians 3:1-3; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20; Revelations 1:5-6, etc.)

I hope this will help guide you in entering into true fellowship with God. As in every relationship, the more investment you make in your relationship with God, the more, over time, it will deepen and grow. Rich fellowship with God doesn't happen instantly but it does happen.

Philippians 3:8
8 Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,

DiscipleOfChrist85 said:

Thank you so much for your answers, I have seen you other posts as well. I respect your candid and biblical responses and each on spoke to me and made me think in ways I never did before. You are very wise and I can see you have a real love for the Lord.
Say is there a way to speak to you privately ? I would love to hear your thoughts on other issues

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You're welcome. Glad my posts are a help to you in your walk with the Lord!

Aware of the various dangers of being online, and in loving deference to, and respect of, my wife, I am...reluctant to engage in online discussions that are private. My wife would have to be privy to any and all discussions we might have. Are you okay with that?

All right. There is a PM (private messaging) option on CF you can use. Others have PM'd me over the years on this site using this option. I think this would be the simplest means of talking semi-privately. What do you think?

Go to your "Inbox" option (on the blue options bar at the top of your screen) click it and at the top of the screen that appears there will be a red, rectangular button labeled "New Conversations" (top right of the screen). Click it and a new screen will appear from which you can begin a private conversation with me.