Sometimes I feel like a fear God so much that I can't truly love him.

Hi Meganbaker1984, may I suggest that you try to deepen your relationship with God by more prayer and bible study. Prayer is you speaking with God and bible study is you receiving guidance and knowledge from God. Also ask for understanding about how perfect love casts out fear.

1John 4:18

18There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. The one who fears has not been perfected in love. 19We love because He first loved us.

1Cor.13 may also be helpful for you in your quest for answers.

A change in perspective may be in order. Not only is your salvation not about you, but it doesn't even depend on you. Nothing you can do will save you, nor can you become worthy of the salvation you have been given.

Not to say works are useless and unnecessary —far from it!— but even your very life is his.

To fear God means not to be afraid, but to respect Him.

Meganbaker1984 said:

Hello I was wondering if anyone here has experience this or knows what to do. I am a fairly new Christian of about 3 years. I was an agnostic when I meet my husband and wanted nothing to do with God. Anytime he would talk about Jesus or something the bible says I would yell or argue with him, until one day I went with him to church where I we prayed on the way there that God would reveal he is real to me and I felt this magnetic electrical feeling in my head that I can't explain and ever since then I have known that God is real and heaven and hell are real and Jesus died for my sin. I started trying to die to my self immediately. And have since been baptized in Jesus name and talk in thougues now. Here is the problem I am having ever since I have first believed in God I was afraid he was sending me to hell. I feel like I do everything I am suppose to to not go to hell and I still feel like that a lot. I want to live for God because I love him not because I am afraid. I think I live for God because I love him but I am so afraid of him that I can't really tell. God talks to me and he recently told me via the bible that I am his friend but I am so fearful of him that the fear invades any other feeling I have for him and it is hard for me to think of him as anything other then a strict parent. I also have a bad problem of trying to earn grace. I don't understand the difference between the laws and grace. I know throught grace I am forgiving but then why is there a huge list of those who will not inherit heaven I always checking the list and making sure I'm not on it and,I am ,the fearful will not inherit the kingdom of heaven. I pray to God everyday and ask him to help me love him and live for him just because he is awsome and good but I wake up a lot of mornings thinking I'm going to hell because I don't love God the way I am suppose to. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

Click to expand...

You are being conformed to His image. That takes time ... He will help you through your struggles (you will have them, we all do) but we may be confident that He will finish His work in us .... just keep following the Lamb .... spend a lot of time in His Word and heed His guidance as it is given.

Philippians 1:6

New Living Translation
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

May the Lord bring you peace to your mind. Amen.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of understanding. But this fear is not being afraid or scared, it is a reverent love for Him. This fear is part of love, as someone else said already, to respect. Surely He can make us tremble at times but we don't live there, His power is something to be in awe of !

Meanwhile the kind of fear you have is not of God 2 Timothy 1:7. So you can cast that kind of fear out without guilt and should.. God can and will bring us under conviction so as to seek a proper path in Him . But never under condemnation. Given your agnostic background and that you are new to the faith I'd be so bold as to say our enemy doesn't want to let you go. But you can be free in Christ and in Jesus name actually have authority over the enemy ( Satan and his minions). That's why I say you can cast that fear out.

1) Jesus IS God.... the Son. If you don't fear Jesus and love him and are saved then likewise you shouldn't fear God. You seriously need to read Paul's writings through and through as the Gospel of Grace is what Christianity is all about. God knows we cannot live up to the perfection he demands to live with him. No sin will be allowed in Heaven thus all there need to be sinless. Our acceptance of Jesus is our acceptance of his perfect "works" and thus his perfection is imputed unto us as righteousness, we are seen as sinless to God because of Jesus. It is not our works but our faith in God (Jesus) that saves us. Nothing we can do to achieve perfection our works are not for salvation but works of love for others.

From what I've seen you love God deeply, you should read the parable of the prodigal son to how God rejoices in the return of those who were lost. We are all (as saved) adopted into God's kingdom.

There is a lot in the New Testament to read about God I would start there and read it all and focus on the love Jesus had for everyone and then read carefully Paul's Gospel of Grace and then read the NT over again as many times as needed so you feel confident in what you know.

Agree that a certain type of fear is needed by all believers. Having this type of fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, knowledge, instruction, and is the fountain of life (Pro 1:7, 9:10, 14:27).

This type of fear of the Lord is loving Him, giving Him honor, respect, serving Him, being submitted and obeying His Word, His will.

- Having the fear of the Lord means we love what He loves and hates what He hates (Psa 97:10, Pro 6:16-19).
- It "...prolongs one’s days..." (Pro 10:27).
- "In the reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, and His children shall always have a place of refuge." (Pro 14:26)
- It causes men to depart from evil (Pro 16:6),
- "The secret of the Lord is with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant" (Psa 25).
- Having the fear of the Lord is a treasure (Isa 33:6l, and
- churches walked in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit (Acts 9:31).

How to have this type of fear of the Lord (Pro 2:1-5). We're to teach children to have the fear of the Lord (Psa 34:11).

Meganbaker1984 said:

Hello I was wondering if anyone here has experience this or knows what to do. I am a fairly new Christian of about 3 years. I was an agnostic when I meet my husband and wanted nothing to do with God. Anytime he would talk about Jesus or something the bible says I would yell or argue with him, until one day I went with him to church where I we prayed on the way there that God would reveal he is real to me and I felt this magnetic electrical feeling in my head that I can't explain and ever since then I have known that God is real and heaven and hell are real and Jesus died for my sin. I started trying to die to my self immediately. And have since been baptized in Jesus name and talk in thougues now. Here is the problem I am having ever since I have first believed in God I was afraid he was sending me to hell. I feel like I do everything I am suppose to to not go to hell and I still feel like that a lot. I want to live for God because I love him not because I am afraid. I think I live for God because I love him but I am so afraid of him that I can't really tell. God talks to me and he recently told me via the bible that I am his friend but I am so fearful of him that the fear invades any other feeling I have for him and it is hard for me to think of him as anything other then a strict parent. I also have a bad problem of trying to earn grace. I don't understand the difference between the laws and grace. I know throught grace I am forgiving but then why is there a huge list of those who will not inherit heaven I always checking the list and making sure I'm not on it and,I am ,the fearful will not inherit the kingdom of heaven. I pray to God everyday and ask him to help me love him and live for him just because he is awsome and good but I wake up a lot of mornings thinking I'm going to hell because I don't love God the way I am suppose to. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

Click to expand...

Overcoming doubts takes time. Paul wrote "in due season you shall reap, if you faint not." You should spend lots of time reading scripture and memorizing pertinent ones like Rom. 8:1 "There is therefore now, no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

Paul's phrase "walk after the Spirit" means living your life in faith that the Spirit guides you, while you pay attention to what God says. Then, your fear will be overcome, as you ground yourself in your spiritual identity in Christ.

John wrote "this is love for God, to obey His commands, and His commands are not burdensome" (1 Jn. 5). And "this is what overcomes the world, even our faith." So, it requires trusting God to lead you from here on. Paul wrote in Phil. 2:13 that "God is in you, willing and doing His good pleasure." Therefore, belief in Christ is the fulfillment of Jesus' words that we are the light of the world. This is who we are in Christ.

Give yourself time, that is, be patient with yourself. It takes time to mature in the faith. Trust that Christ will be your Good Shepherd and will clean you up as He promised.

Meganbaker1984 said:

Hello I was wondering if anyone here has experience this or knows what to do. I am a fairly new Christian of about 3 years. I was an agnostic when I meet my husband and wanted nothing to do with God. Anytime he would talk about Jesus or something the bible says I would yell or argue with him, until one day I went with him to church where I we prayed on the way there that God would reveal he is real to me and I felt this magnetic electrical feeling in my head that I can't explain and ever since then I have known that God is real and heaven and hell are real and Jesus died for my sin.

Click to expand...

You're saying an "electrical feeling in your head" is the basis for your belief in Jesus as your Saviour? Do you think this is a good basis for your belief?

Meganbaker1984 said:

And have since been baptized in Jesus name and talk in thougues now.

Click to expand...

Oh, dear. Well, tongues have nothing to do with whether or not you're actually God's child. It's good you've been baptized, though.

Meganbaker1984 said:

Here is the problem I am having ever since I have first believed in God I was afraid he was sending me to hell. I feel like I do everything I am suppose to to not go to hell and I still feel like that a lot.

Click to expand...

This fear has its place in bringing us to God. But when it does, when the fear of hell brings us to the Gospel and God, we should see that God is good, that He loves us incredibly, that He offers us Himself as our Heavenly Father, not as our wrathful Judge.

Romans 2:4
4 Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?

A person can get so occupied with the threatening danger of hell, they can't see anything else. God's kindness, tolerance and patience can get crowded out of view by a fixation on the jeopardy of hell. It's impossible to admire the beautiful forest around you while you're watching the huge grizzly sniffing the air nearby, right? Although the danger of hell is real, and an important part of the Gospel of salvation, it ought to be fully relieved by the awesome love of God revealed to us in the sacrifice of His Son for our sin. The Gospel is ultimately about God's love for you, not about His anger over your sin.

It was when you were still in your sin, far from God, an enemy toward Him in your mind by your wicked works (Colossians 1:21-22), bound under the power of the World, the Flesh and the devil (Ephesians 2:1-3; Titus 3:3-5), that God moved toward you, enlightening your mind and heart to His truth (2 Timothy 2:25), drawing you to Christ (John 6:44), and making it possible for you to repent of a life lived apart from Him. Your sin did not keep Him from doing all of this for you, enabling you to see and understand the Gospel and to choose Christ as your Saviour and Lord.

If God did all this when you were not His child, mired deep in sin and rebellion toward Him, what do you think His attitude toward you is now as His adopted, redeemed, justified and sanctified child (1 Corinthians 1:30), accepted by Him in the Beloved, Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:6) when you sin?

God is your Heavenly Father, not your wrathful Judge, if you, by faith in Christ (Romans 10:9-10), have become one of His. And if God was willing to go to the astonishing, astounding lengths He did to save you when you were His enemy, how much more does He extend Himself to you as His beloved child? He has promised that He will "never leave you nor forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5); He has promised no one - that includes you - can snatch you out of His hand (John 10:26-29); He has promised that nothing can separate you from His unending, glorious love (Romans 8:35-39). There is no place, then, if you are God's child, for you ever to fear hell again.

It is because this is true that the apostle John wrote:

1 John 4:15-17
15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.
16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
17 By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world.

Have you come to know and believe the love God has for you? Are you fully convinced that God loves you as enormously as Scripture says He does? When you are, fear of divine punishment will dissolve and in its place you will have "confidence in the Day of Judgment" because you know, really know, you abide in God's love, in Christ himself, in fact, not under God's wrath.

1 John 4:18-19
18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
19 We love because he first loved us.

Fear and love just can't co-exist in the life of Christian. Oh, we have a reverential awe of God, what the Bible calls "the fear of God," but a craven terror of judgment, of God's wrath, cannot exist in tandem with a confidence in God's unending love for you. As John wrote, the more we are confident in the love of God for us, the more a fear of Him as our Judge is cast out. When one is a born-again child of God, fear of Him as a wrathful Judge just shows one doesn't properly understand His love. It is such a sad, unnecessary thing for a child of God to labor even for a second under such fear. As the apostle Paul wrote,

Romans 8:15
15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”

Meganbaker1984 said:

Hello I was wondering if anyone here has experience this or knows what to do. I am a fairly new Christian of about 3 years. I was an agnostic when I meet my husband and wanted nothing to do with God. Anytime he would talk about Jesus or something the bible says I would yell or argue with him, until one day I went with him to church where I we prayed on the way there that God would reveal he is real to me and I felt this magnetic electrical feeling in my head that I can't explain and ever since then I have known that God is real and heaven and hell are real and Jesus died for my sin. I started trying to die to my self immediately. And have since been baptized in Jesus name and talk in thougues now. Here is the problem I am having ever since I have first believed in God I was afraid he was sending me to hell. I feel like I do everything I am suppose to to not go to hell and I still feel like that a lot. I want to live for God because I love him not because I am afraid. I think I live for God because I love him but I am so afraid of him that I can't really tell. God talks to me and he recently told me via the bible that I am his friend but I am so fearful of him that the fear invades any other feeling I have for him and it is hard for me to think of him as anything other then a strict parent. I also have a bad problem of trying to earn grace. I don't understand the difference between the laws and grace. I know throught grace I am forgiving but then why is there a huge list of those who will not inherit heaven I always checking the list and making sure I'm not on it and,I am ,the fearful will not inherit the kingdom of heaven. I pray to God everyday and ask him to help me love him and live for him just because he is awsome and good but I wake up a lot of mornings thinking I'm going to hell because I don't love God the way I am suppose to. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

Click to expand...

Dear MeganBaker1984,

Thank you for sharing your testimony about how God came into your life. It is a beautiful Truth about how God pursues and loves us. The scriptures you have been offered so far are all His Truth and His Word is all about assuring you that He loves you, cares about you and will help you to find the life He has prepared for you to live. It is true that the ‘fear of God” is the beginning of wisdom. But this fear is a respect for who He is, not a scared fear. When I sing the song, “they tremble at His voice.” I realize that that I tremble because He is all powerful, all knowing, all present God, who created the world. I stand in awe at knowing all this. I stand before “almighty God” ready to receive His love, His mercy and His grace. Think about His love, think about His goodness, think about what He has done for you. He loved You so much He called you, forgave your sin debt and brought you into His family. I am praying for you to know His love, experience more of His grace and mercy and be ready to build the relationship that He has planned for you. God loves you more than you will ever know. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. You can live in that love and thrive in the blessings that He is waiting to pour out to you. God bless you and your precious family. We are part of the family of God and oh how He loves His children. We live in expectation of knowing the fullness of that love and sharing it with others.

Meganbaker1984 said:

Hello I was wondering if anyone here has experience this or knows what to do. I am a fairly new Christian of about 3 years. I was an agnostic when I meet my husband and wanted nothing to do with God. Anytime he would talk about Jesus or something the bible says I would yell or argue with him, until one day I went with him to church where I we prayed on the way there that God would reveal he is real to me and I felt this magnetic electrical feeling in my head that I can't explain and ever since then I have known that God is real and heaven and hell are real and Jesus died for my sin. I started trying to die to my self immediately. And have since been baptized in Jesus name and talk in thougues now. Here is the problem I am having ever since I have first believed in God I was afraid he was sending me to hell. I feel like I do everything I am suppose to to not go to hell and I still feel like that a lot. I want to live for God because I love him not because I am afraid. I think I live for God because I love him but I am so afraid of him that I can't really tell. God talks to me and he recently told me via the bible that I am his friend but I am so fearful of him that the fear invades any other feeling I have for him and it is hard for me to think of him as anything other then a strict parent. I also have a bad problem of trying to earn grace. I don't understand the difference between the laws and grace. I know throught grace I am forgiving but then why is there a huge list of those who will not inherit heaven I always checking the list and making sure I'm not on it and,I am ,the fearful will not inherit the kingdom of heaven. I pray to God everyday and ask him to help me love him and live for him just because he is awsome and good but I wake up a lot of mornings thinking I'm going to hell because I don't love God the way I am suppose to. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

Click to expand...

When we look at God through the lens of our own works, abilities, or sense of ourselves; looking to God through His commandments, we will always find that God's face is obscured.

Because we always fall short, because we're sinners.

God's Law can't make anyone righteous. The Law condemns sinners, and like a mirror exposes us to ourselves--that we are actually naked.

We may live our lives thinking we are wearing the nicest, fanciest clothes (like the emperor in the story of the emperor's new clothes), but it's all a sham. We are actually naked.

So when you look through the Law, the only thing you'll see is your own nakedness, your own failure, your own sinfulness and inability to be righteous--and thus you will only ever see God as angry.

Looking to God through the dark storm cloud of the Law is looking at a dark veil hiding God's face.

If you want to see God for who God truly is, you won't find it by looking at God through His commandments. You will only find it by looking at Jesus Christ, who came not to be served, but rather to serve, and to give His life as a ransom (Mark 10:45), who came not exploiting His Deity, but humbled Himself, as a slave, as a servant, who willingly embraced the shame and death of the Roman cross (Philippians 2:6-8).

And so here is God's love to you, O weary sinner, "God demonstrates His love for us in that even as sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8). This is Jesus Christ who says, "Come to Me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28).

So turn your eyes away from yourself, and your works, because the measure of your works will always be mired in your own fallible, broken, and sinful self; instead turn your eyes to Jesus Christ and what He has done for you, it is yours for free.

Here is forgiveness of all your sins, Jesus Christ crucified on the cross.
Here is forgiveness of all your sins, you have been clothed with this same Jesus in your baptism.
Here is forgiveness of all your sins, Christ's flesh and blood broken and given to you in the Lord's Supper.
Here is forgiveness of all your sins, God's faithful promise to forgive you.

If you try to climb that ladder of holiness, you're going to find that we can't even reach the first rung on the ladder, let alone climb to the top.

But praise be to God that there is no ladder going upward. Instead there is only the ladder that goes downward.

We do not ascend to God. God descends to man.

The Word was made flesh (John 1:1, John 1:14), God became man (1 Timothy 3:16).

God comes down. We don't go up. God always comes down.

God has stepped down from the mountain to dwell with sinners. And when God meets sinners here, grace happens, and since grace happens, there is salvation. That's the Gospel, God meeting man in His grace, Jesus Christ crucified, buried, and raised.

You cannot improve yourself before God by even the smallest amount by being obedient to His commandments.

The Good News is that you don't have to, because Christ is your righteousness, and God loves you and embraces you in Jesus, not as a stranger, or even as a servant, but as a beloved child.

-CryptoLutheran

Meganbaker1984 said:

Hello I was wondering if anyone here has experience this or knows what to do. I am a fairly new Christian of about 3 years. I was an agnostic when I meet my husband and wanted nothing to do with God. Anytime he would talk about Jesus or something the bible says I would yell or argue with him, until one day I went with him to church where I we prayed on the way there that God would reveal he is real to me and I felt this magnetic electrical feeling in my head that I can't explain and ever since then I have known that God is real and heaven and hell are real and Jesus died for my sin. I started trying to die to my self immediately. And have since been baptized in Jesus name and talk in thougues now. Here is the problem I am having ever since I have first believed in God I was afraid he was sending me to hell. I feel like I do everything I am suppose to to not go to hell and I still feel like that a lot. I want to live for God because I love him not because I am afraid. I think I live for God because I love him but I am so afraid of him that I can't really tell. God talks to me and he recently told me via the bible that I am his friend but I am so fearful of him that the fear invades any other feeling I have for him and it is hard for me to think of him as anything other then a strict parent. I also have a bad problem of trying to earn grace. I don't understand the difference between the laws and grace. I know throught grace I am forgiving but then why is there a huge list of those who will not inherit heaven I always checking the list and making sure I'm not on it and,I am ,the fearful will not inherit the kingdom of heaven. I pray to God everyday and ask him to help me love him and live for him just because he is awsome and good but I wake up a lot of mornings thinking I'm going to hell because I don't love God the way I am suppose to. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

Click to expand...

Stop trying to love God. You have the love of God in your heart already, courtesy of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 5:5). Start telling God that you love Him with the love He's given you to love Him with. Remember that God loves you enough to send Jesus to die in your place. Jesus loves you enough to be willing to die for you. Start thanking Lord Jesus for His great love for you.

Law says "you must do". Grace says "I will do for you what you cannot do for yourself". Only Lord Jesus obeyed God's law perfectly. He lives in you now to cause you to be all that God requires you to be.

Quit trying to die to self. Crucifying yourself is impossible. You could nail your foot to the cross, then maybe one hand. How do you do the other hand? We are already crucified with Christ! God has taken care of that problem also. I suggest that you get a copy of a book by Watchman Nee. It's called "The Normal Christian Life". It will transform you if you stick with it. Some of it is not easy to grasp. We need the help of the Holy Spirit. All we have to do is ask.

Meganbaker1984 said:

Hello I was wondering if anyone here has experience this or knows what to do. I am a fairly new Christian of about 3 years. I was an agnostic when I meet my husband and wanted nothing to do with God. Anytime he would talk about Jesus or something the bible says I would yell or argue with him, until one day I went with him to church where I we prayed on the way there that God would reveal he is real to me and I felt this magnetic electrical feeling in my head that I can't explain and ever since then I have known that God is real and heaven and hell are real and Jesus died for my sin. I started trying to die to my self immediately. And have since been baptized in Jesus name and talk in thougues now. Here is the problem I am having ever since I have first believed in God I was afraid he was sending me to hell. I feel like I do everything I am suppose to to not go to hell and I still feel like that a lot. I want to live for God because I love him not because I am afraid. I think I live for God because I love him but I am so afraid of him that I can't really tell. God talks to me and he recently told me via the bible that I am his friend but I am so fearful of him that the fear invades any other feeling I have for him and it is hard for me to think of him as anything other then a strict parent. I also have a bad problem of trying to earn grace. I don't understand the difference between the laws and grace. I know throught grace I am forgiving but then why is there a huge list of those who will not inherit heaven I always checking the list and making sure I'm not on it and,I am ,the fearful will not inherit the kingdom of heaven. I pray to God everyday and ask him to help me love him and live for him just because he is awsome and good but I wake up a lot of mornings thinking I'm going to hell because I don't love God the way I am suppose to. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

Click to expand...

Beloved one, don’t trouble with my greeting, for I greet you as Beloved in Christ. For it is important that all Christians to perceive who we are in Christ, that means who we are united with Christ.

Beloved one, your testimony how you turned to God from agnostic to serve the living God — will bring many to Christ. And Christ our Lord will be pleased. So I believe your husband quietly rejoice in delights.

Beloved one, don’t be troubled by anyone when you share your personal encounter with the Lord. For this is what we have heard:

“God also bearing witness both with signs and wonders, with various miracles, and gifts of the Holy Spirit, according to His own will?”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭2:4‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

This magnetic electrical feeling in your head, God bore witness to you according to His will. Be delighted that God gave this grace of repentance to you.

Beloved one, you have spoken,”I started trying to die to my self immediately. And have since been baptized in Jesus name and talk in thougues now..” — that is correct response. We are glad that you gave yourself to Christ through baptism with water and with Holy Spirit.

Beloved one, you said,”Here is the problem I am having ever since I have first believed in God I was afraid he was sending me to hell.”— this is a false image that the Adversary of God tried to put in your mind. For that is a false image of God. So resist that thoughts in the name of Jesus Christ and the enemies of God shall flee from you.

For this is what we have heard about the Lord our God:
“The Lord is merciful and gracious,
Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.
He will not always strive with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever.
He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
Nor punished us according to our iniquities.
For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;
As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭103:8-12‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Also, this is what we have heard:
“Who is a God like You,
Pardoning iniquity And passing over the transgression of the remnant of His heritage? He does not retain His anger forever,
Because He delights in mercy.
He will again have compassion on us,
And will subdue our iniquities.
You will cast all our sins
Into the depths of the sea.
You will give truth to Jacob And mercy to Abraham,
Which You have sworn to our fathers From days of old.”
‭‭Micah‬ ‭7:18-20‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Beloved one, meditate God’s words and you perceive rightly about God, His anger and judgement.

Beloved one, you said,”God talks to me and he recently told me via the bible that I am his friend but I am so fearful of him that the fear invades any other feeling I have for him and it is hard for me to think of him as anything other then a strict parent.”

Beloved one, if He has spoken to you via the Bible that you are his friend. Meditate that verse again and again until your fear subside and you settle to receive His word in your heart. Also meditate 1 Thessalonians chapter 1 and 2. You will not perceive the Lord as strict parent anymore.

Beloved one, you also spoke about this:
“I also have a bad problem of trying to earn grace. I don't understand the difference between the laws and grace.”

Consider what we have heard :
“For they being ignorant of God’s righteousness, and seeking to establish their own righteousness,
have not submitted to the righteousness of God.
For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭10:3-4‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

So Christ is the end of the law (self righteousness) for God’s righteousness to everyone who believes. Beloved one, you can perceive the law, this way. So the cross that you carry is self righteousness and self love, for self righteousness and self love brought much sin to God.

About the law, you also can read Galatians 3:19-29 and build upon layer upon layer of truth in your heart and mind. Seek to understand what you don’t understand through the Holy Scriptures. Let scripture explain scripture, then you won’t be let astray with many interpretations, for you will then know to discern yourself between the good and evil.

For we heard:
“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.”
‭‭II Timothy‬ ‭3:16-17‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

About grace, this is what we have heard:
“Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.””
‭‭Luke‬ ‭7:47‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Why Jesus loved sinners because when they repented wholeheartedly, they brought much love to Him. True repentance is a source of love for Jesus. So meditate this truth about sinful woman forgiven in Luke 7:36-50 and you will understand the Lord’s loving kindness and tender mercies.

Beloved one, I heard your consideration:
“I know throught grace I am forgiving but then why is there a huge list of those who will not inherit heaven I always checking the list and making sure I'm not on it and,I am ,the fearful will not inherit the kingdom of heaven.
I pray to God everyday and ask him to help me love him and live for him just because he is awsome and good but I wake up a lot of mornings thinking I'm going to hell because I don't love God the way I am suppose to. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated.”

Beloved one, consider this advice:
Guilt cannot be in two places.
Either it is on Him or is on you.
If it’s on you, and you bear it. It cannot be on Him.
Then it’s on Him, it cannot be on you.
Where guilt is, there is no restoration.
If the guilt is on Him, then restoration is on you.
If He took away your guilt, then restoration is coming your way.

So daily pray this godly prayer, that David prayed:
“I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, “I will confess my transgressions …to the Lord,” And You forgave the iniquity of my sin. (Amen) Selah (pause to reflect)
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭32:5‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Then consider what David said after he prayed :

“Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, Whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, And in whose spirit there is no deceit.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭32:1-2‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Say it softly in faith:
I am blessed that my transgression is forgiven, my sin is covered. I am Blessed that I whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, And in whose spirit there is no deceit.Amen

Also consider what Lord Jesus Christ said :
““For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:14-15‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

So pray this daily :
Lord Jesus Christ,
I may have been hurt by those who offended me.
Lord, grant me Your strength to release forgiveness to them.
Now,Lord, if I have a complaint against anyone, I forgive them, for I believe that You strengthen me with Your steadfast love.
I believe Jesus have met your condition to be forgiven. Thank You Heavenly Father that You forgive me my trespasses. I believe I have justified by faith that I have peace with God through Christ Jesus. Through Christ Jesus, I have access by faith into the grace of God that I stand and rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Amen

This prayer based on Matthew 6:14,
2 Timothy 2:1 and Romans 5:1-2.

Beloved one, believe that your wrongdoings that the Lord have bore on the cross and believe that you have received His restoration. For we heard :

“Many sorrows shall be to the wicked;
But he who trusts in the Lord, mercy shall surround him.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭32:10‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

So beloved one, trust in the Lord — trust what the Lord have spoken, and His tender mercies shall surround you.

May God’s peace be multiplied to you.
To God be glory, honor, power and praise. Amen.