I'm getting more and more worse with each passing day.

Neostarwcc said:

I'm sick of being stuck in these four walls doing absolutely nothing for Jesus and being so idle.

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You actually just did something for Jesus. I'm blessed to see your courage and grateful for your post. It hit me hard, which isn't a bad thing. My only thought is that I believe God meets us where we're at and loves us just the way we are. I know mental health challenges can be hideous to deal with (and for me, hideous only begins to describe it.) You're right, you have to keep praying. I sometimes don't feel like I can pray anymore so I ask God to send His Holy Spirit to pray for me until I get the strength to pray again. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted on how things are going. Peace be with you my brother in Christ.

My friend, hang in there. Yes, you are being tested, but I admire you so much. You are doing an excellent job, Neo. You are staying faithful even when it feels incredibly hard. I will pray for you, brother.

Offer it up. Tell Jesus that you are giving Him every negative thing you are feeling, and ask Him to use that to help others. He will.

may i ask, are you stuck inside 4 walls because of COVID lockdown or because you dont feel well enough to venture outside considering your condition?

Venturing outside just so we can immerse ourselves into the miseries of life as it was before is not the answer...that is somewhat narcissistic.

I would suggest that anyone who feels they are struggling to cope gets outside into nature where possible...God placed it there for a reason and my understanding is that in most countries exercise is a reason for leaving home. We should be leaving home to be closer to our creator, not the woes of life.

Finally, your bankruptcy is not God putting you on trial...that is a result of your humanity and decisions that you make. What God does is take those failings and turn them into positive things. Here is a personal example of a much lower scale obviously:

Some years ago as a young student at university, i longed for my dream job (teaching at a school i was a student at myself). I failed a few subjects at college due to my own slackness (i spent far too much time surfing and playing basketball instead of studying), and yet the additional 2 years it took me to complete my degree as a result, saw me the only half decent option available to replace a retiring teacher at my dream job school in my subject area at my time of graduation. I thought to myself surely God must have caused me to fail just to get this job.

Imagine how i felt 1 year later when i saw myself pushed out the door of that school an outcast!
I took a year off teaching and found a mindless job to try to clear my head and make sense of it all.
Strangely enough, during that year I met my wife and i now have a family of my own and whilst its been a tough slog for the last 20 years, I have but one goal in life now that matters...family!

So did i fail university to meet my wife? Is that what God had in mind, or did he simply provide a different avenue of success for my most treasured achievement in life to come out of my own stupid failures?

I wonder if the idea of the Gospel is to get us to turn away from the seeminly punishing legalism of the old testament? I am not suggesting there are no wages for sin, however, Jesus ministry seemed to focus on helping and healing sinners. He gave them a shining light at the end of the tunnel of darkness (Something the old testament did not appear to do when interpreted the way the Jewish leaders were demonstrating).

In light of this, i believe God saves us from our sins...he isnt punishing us, we are in fact punishing ourselves.

May i suggest considering the following


(Footprints in the Sand Footprints in the Sand Poem | Beautiful Poem from Only the Bible.com)

I cannot imagine what you are going through right now. I pray that God would grant you mental clarity and stability along with a refreshing night's sleep. I also pray that God would improve your finances and heal your wife of her cancer. As a side note, I'm currently taking lithium for bipolar and it works fairly well against mania for me, but it doesn't work for everyone. I'm sure your psychiatrist will also try an anti-epileptic or anti-psychotic if lithium isn't cutting it.

Dear brother i have been in the same boat as you health wise. You can still love God and people even when you are stuck between four walls.

i also struggle with P.T.S.D and mental illness and have been very unwell for many years. i also have been tagged dangerous when psychotic.

i found my purpose praying for hurting people and pray for that believers wake up to the evils ruling this world.

i have been greatly helped by a person called Roland Bal. He has written 4 ebooks and has made meditation tapes. He is not one of us, but he has build his therapy on love. This man has helped me enormously with my P.T.S.D rages that would trigger my psychosis time and again.

i highly recommend you read his stuff.
Resolving Complex Trauma


In the mean time let The Lord's love work in your heart caring for people from your room.

You can pray for world peace and the destruction of the evil governments ruling this planet now.
You can pray for people who are hurting
You can support hurting people on line
You can pray for godly governments
You can pray God to curse the wicked living in peoples hearts doing the sinning.
You can let The Spirit of God rebuild you with His loving truth through the truths of Scripture.
You witness The love of God to those who don't know Him.

Peace.

Feasting My Good Life.
The Wicked captivated my truth
the truth of my heart and mind
and wound me around their lies
knotted me out of my own reality
into the dungeons of torture below.

Unable to unravel their cob webs
the wicked took control of my life
and brought much pain and misery
feasting on my God given good life
at the expense of my own welfare.

Yet when Christ light lit up my night
and i saw Him on the clouds of heaven
The Wicked sprung all their traps
thinking i was as good as dead
trapped in their nasty fowler's nets.

Yet the Lion of the tribe of Judea
killed the goats great and small
and set me free from their control
and gave me back my freedom in Him
feasting good times growing New Life.

I wonder if there are some online ministries where you could be helpful. Maybe you can send letters to lonely people in the armed forces who don't have any family to write to them.

I pray holy angels will help you with all your problems and that the Holy Spirit will give you guidance.

Remember Paul in chains in prison.

I pray for you for healing from the Lord and his peace in Jesus precious name

Billy Graham has online volunteer opportunities. @ChristianForCats you may want to check them out too. This is a good way to serve for homebound believers.

~bella