Anxiety

yuppers said:

Hello, I’m a 27 year old guy. I’ve struggled with social anxiety and depression for most of my life. Over the last few years I’ve been struggling more and more. I live alone with my dog. I have a few friends and family who have all gotten married in the last few years and have all had children. I don’t visit them very often anymore. I’m slowly starting to think I’ll live a lonely existence. I get very anxious in groups and I blush when I try to talk. These lockdowns have increased my anxiety. I desire to find a wife and have a family of my own. The thought of joining her family and embarrassing myself is a real drawback. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to live the rest of my life with these desires and fears holding me back. Is there anything to overcome this? Talk to a doctor about medication? Pray for a special lady who understands? Be patient? I appreciate your response and perspective

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I relate to this quite well. In my case in my 40s I discovered it was due to having autism.

yuppers said:

Hello, I’m a 27 year old guy. I’ve struggled with social anxiety and depression for most of my life. Over the last few years I’ve been struggling more and more. I live alone with my dog. I have a few friends and family who have all gotten married in the last few years and have all had children. I don’t visit them very often anymore. I’m slowly starting to think I’ll live a lonely existence. I get very anxious in groups and I blush when I try to talk. These lockdowns have increased my anxiety. I desire to find a wife and have a family of my own. The thought of joining her family and embarrassing myself is a real drawback. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to live the rest of my life with these desires and fears holding me back. Is there anything to overcome this? Talk to a doctor about medication? Pray for a special lady who understands? Be patient? I appreciate your response and perspective

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The key is to quit worrying about yourself. Being self conscious is a pain. Most people see you way differently than you see yourself. Since you are a Christian, you should know that you are a new creation in Christ. Focus on who you are in Christ. The old "you" was crucified with Christ. If you've been baptised in water, the old you is buried as well. Lord Jesus rose from the dead to give you new life. Seek the Lord so that you may discover what this means for you in practice.

Remember this: you'd worry less about what people thought of you if you knew how rarely they did. While you are worrying about what they think of you, they are worrying about what you think of them. Forget about yourself! Just be yourself! God loves you as you are. It is His job to change you.

27 is certainly not too old to get married. Most guys don't grow up until they are in their late 20's. If you learn to be content with who you are, you will be more attractive to a potential wife also. Happiness is contagious. Most people want to catch it!

yuppers said:

Hello, I’m a 27 year old guy. I’ve struggled with social anxiety and depression for most of my life. Over the last few years I’ve been struggling more and more. I live alone with my dog. I have a few friends and family who have all gotten married in the last few years and have all had children. I don’t visit them very often anymore. I’m slowly starting to think I’ll live a lonely existence. I get very anxious in groups and I blush when I try to talk. These lockdowns have increased my anxiety. I desire to find a wife and have a family of my own. The thought of joining her family and embarrassing myself is a real drawback. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to live the rest of my life with these desires and fears holding me back. Is there anything to overcome this? Talk to a doctor about medication? Pray for a special lady who understands? Be patient? I appreciate your response and perspective

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Your initial embarrassment is an understandable holdback. It can be hard to watch friends and family marry and have children. I know. The thought of joining a woman in her family is also understandably daunting.
Several things that you have going for you are the dog, the introspection, and the family and friend relationships. People love a well trained dog at the park, walking down the sidewalk, or sitting at a cafe. Your family and friends can help you socialize and understand ways that you might be able to interact more smoothly. As for your introspection, this is something lacking in many individuals. The fact that you are interested in bettering yourself is a huge advantage. Talk to a psychologist, pray for a special lady, and find a spiritual guide who can help you draw closer to Christ and closer to what God wants for you. In this latter pursuit you can't possibly go wrong.
Many blessings and prayers, my brother.

yuppers said:

Hello, I’m a 27 year old guy. I’ve struggled with social anxiety and depression for most of my life. Over the last few years I’ve been struggling more and more. I live alone with my dog. I have a few friends and family who have all gotten married in the last few years and have all had children. I don’t visit them very often anymore. I’m slowly starting to think I’ll live a lonely existence. I get very anxious in groups and I blush when I try to talk. These lockdowns have increased my anxiety. I desire to find a wife and have a family of my own. The thought of joining her family and embarrassing myself is a real drawback. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to live the rest of my life with these desires and fears holding me back. Is there anything to overcome this? Talk to a doctor about medication? Pray for a special lady who understands? Be patient? I appreciate your response and perspective

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Isolation is one of the devil's strategies to defeat us. By submitting to it, you become your own worst enemy.

Jesus commanded us to love other Christians. Therefore, get yourself to Christian fellowship meetings and start making an impact on other people. "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Such a practice starts at church and related places where you socialize with others. We all need a balanced life.

Don't submit to your shame. Overcome it with faith that Christ accepts you as you are, whether other people do or not. He will clean up your life as you walk with Him, so that you can be that light He says you are.

yuppers said:

Hello, I’m a 27 year old guy. I’ve struggled with social anxiety and depression for most of my life. Over the last few years I’ve been struggling more and more. I live alone with my dog. I have a few friends and family who have all gotten married in the last few years and have all had children. I don’t visit them very often anymore. I’m slowly starting to think I’ll live a lonely existence. I get very anxious in groups and I blush when I try to talk. These lockdowns have increased my anxiety. I desire to find a wife and have a family of my own. The thought of joining her family and embarrassing myself is a real drawback. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to live the rest of my life with these desires and fears holding me back. Is there anything to overcome this? Talk to a doctor about medication? Pray for a special lady who understands? Be patient? I appreciate your response and perspective

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I noticed one gentleman mentioned autism to you, and I would agree that we can suffer various conditions, even emotional problems that make it difficult to even understand and embrace the power given us in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I had similar problems when I was your age, and for me it took a professional in psychology, a Ph.D. to help me get my head cleared. He used an approach called REBT, for Rational-Emotive Behavioral Therapy. It is based on the fact that we can be our own worst enemy by the false beliefs we burden ourselves with daily. Thankfully, he was also a Christian man as well as a psychological professional. This is a very common sense approach, not the year after year psycho-babble of much of psychotherapy. I pray God the Holy Spirit comes to you in your present need!

yuppers said:

Thank you for the replies. Today I’m so unhappy with my life. I literally have no desire to grow old. Everything in life revolves around the confidence you show. I’m so depressed and miserable that people don’t care about me. I feel so alone in this world. Everything is up to me to fix my own problems. I understand God is with me but it doesn’t change reality. The few friends I have/had have all found their place in society and are moving along. I feel like I’m on the edge of everything crashing apart. My world is far from perfect. I don’t know how I’m supposed to pull it together and begin to feel happy in this world. I long for God to bring me home. But that brings suffering on the ones left behind.

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Friend, as a believer, keep strongly in mind the words of God:

Deut 32:39 "See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god with me: I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal: neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand."

I'm sure there are mental health clinics or helps where you can go get guidance to work yourself out of this. Just keep in mind, life and death is in God's hands, NOT ours.