- Dec 13, 2015
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I'm being screened by my GP for PTSD Wednesday but until then I'm just getting worse and worse. I can't stop thinking about all of the things that happened, I'm getting sick of this manic episode its been going on for four months now. I'm sleeping less and less with each passing night. Keeping in contact online and with my Elder has helped a lot but, I personally cannot wait until I can regularly attend church again. I miss my Elder even though I just saw him last Sunday, I miss the staff, I miss my wife and I sitting in our usual seat soaking in Larry's every last word. I miss his wife who still has breast cancer and is struggling with that. I miss seeing the children study their bibles and sing. I just... miss it all. I'm sick of being stuck in these four walls doing absolutely nothing for Jesus and being so idle. Yes, I know I'm idle for a reason but I love going out and doing charity work, I just hate being so mentally sick and a danger to others. I just can't stop praying and can't stop praying that I don't become a danger.
I'm sick of my bankruptcy taking so long too. I just finished my pre counseling last week and called my lawyer to see if he got the certificate. He's out of the office until next Thursday. Just... nothings going the way I planned.
Welcome to life, I know. Welcome to being tried by God and passing and failing at the same time. I just want everything to be normal again.
Monday also I'm getting my lithium levels checked so when I see my Psychiatrist In a few weeks he knows whether to raise the dose or keep it as it is. I honestly don't know how the lithium is working but I'm hoping it will do some good. It's been used forever to treat schizophrenics so you'd think it would work. Anyway pray with me that next week will go fine lots of stuff is happening. I just have to take this one day at a time.
I'm sick of my bankruptcy taking so long too. I just finished my pre counseling last week and called my lawyer to see if he got the certificate. He's out of the office until next Thursday. Just... nothings going the way I planned.
Welcome to life, I know. Welcome to being tried by God and passing and failing at the same time. I just want everything to be normal again.
Monday also I'm getting my lithium levels checked so when I see my Psychiatrist In a few weeks he knows whether to raise the dose or keep it as it is. I honestly don't know how the lithium is working but I'm hoping it will do some good. It's been used forever to treat schizophrenics so you'd think it would work. Anyway pray with me that next week will go fine lots of stuff is happening. I just have to take this one day at a time.