Why are Christian's not so supportive for people who suffer with anxiety or mental health?

PrincessofGod18 said:

I feel that if i don't go to church that's it they stop engaging with me.

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That's how churches are.

You might meet some people who will say "hey" if your paths cross, but they won't go chasing after you.

PrincessofGod18 said:

Hi all
I found Christian's can be not so supportive when it comes to mental health and anxiety. I have suffered really bad anxiety to a point I getting help from a CBT therapist.

But I have found a real lack of support from Christian's, as in I feel that if i don't go to church that's it they stop engaging with me. I thought church people are meant to engage in the outside world.

I feel the church is not taking anxiety and mental health seriously.

I am Christian and it takes me a lot long to process to getting back to some kind of normal.

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You need to change churches. Any church that doesn't care about the mental health and anxiety of their members is not worth attending.

How many people did Jesus turn away when they came to Him in faith? None.

PrincessofGod18 said:

Hi all
I found Christian's can be not so supportive when it comes to mental health and anxiety. I have suffered really bad anxiety to a point I getting help from a CBT therapist.

But I have found a real lack of support from Christian's, as in I feel that if i don't go to church that's it they stop engaging with me. I thought church people are meant to engage in the outside world.

I feel the church is not taking anxiety and mental health seriously.

I am Christian and it takes me a lot long to process to getting back to some kind of normal.

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It depends on the particular community and the Christians what you'll find, along with your particular relationship with individuals in it.

Hello @PrincessofGod18, it depends on the particular church, of course, for a number of different reasons.

Have you discussed your needs and concerns with your pastor? If not, that's what I would do/have done. That way the church will know your concerns/needs and will be able to address those for you, and your pastor will know how he can be praying for you, specifically.

Just FYI, pastors enjoy hearing from/helping their flock as they have been tasked by the Lord to keep a careful watch over us on this side of the grave

Praying for you!

God bless you!

--David

PrincessofGod18 said:

Hi all
I found Christian's can be not so supportive when it comes to mental health and anxiety. I have suffered really bad anxiety to a point I getting help from a CBT therapist.

But I have found a real lack of support from Christian's, as in I feel that if i don't go to church that's it they stop engaging with me. I thought church people are meant to engage in the outside world.

I feel the church is not taking anxiety and mental health seriously.

I am Christian and it takes me a lot long to process to getting back to some kind of normal.

Click to expand...

In my experience, many Christians are willing to give it a shot, but perhaps over-estimate their capacity to deal with the needs of many with mental health issues or mental development issues. The fact is, many of these needs require a lot of a special kind of patience to deal with, which mental health workers should have, but many in the general populace do not. I think if many of the Christians you are referring to were not Christians, they might not even give that chance to begin with. Christians with that patience are still in the church, but they're mixed in the crowd at church.

When it comes to church, perhaps there are some that think because you don't go, you don't want to be their friend. So, they leave it alone. This isn't to pressure you to be friends to them, but a good friendship isn't one-sided, they know that, and some of them might not want to be the one who extends friendship but doesn't get it back in return.

PrincessofGod18 said:

Hi all
I found Christian's can be not so supportive when it comes to mental health and anxiety. I have suffered really bad anxiety to a point I getting help from a CBT therapist.

But I have found a real lack of support from Christian's, as in I feel that if i don't go to church that's it they stop engaging with me. I thought church people are meant to engage in the outside world.

I feel the church is not taking anxiety and mental health seriously.

I am Christian and it takes me a lot long to process to getting back to some kind of normal.

Click to expand...

Hello Princess. Sorry to hear you are having a tough time with anxiety. This is a very real and serious challenge.

In defence of churches and church leaders I would say that these times have been tough, the amount of work that needs to be done to keep a church legally compliant and open has increased, combined with the huge number of pastoral needs that a church has means that many church leaders and members will be extremely busy. Naturally they would give 1st priority to the members of their own congregations, to those they come into contact with regularly. Many people in churches are suffering from depression and anxiety and are in needs of pastoral care from their church. Many members of congregations have lost their jobs and are in dire financial straits, some have lost multiple members of their families to Covid.

Shepherds should look after their sheep, but you'll need to come into the sheep pen.

The advice I would give you would be to pray to the Lord about joining a congregation. Then speak to an elder or deacon there, explain your situation and the support you would need to join them. They'll be willing to help you. Many Deacons are now trained in Mental Health First Aid for this very reason. 1/3-1/4 of adults in the UK experience some form of mental health crisis at some point in a year-you're not alone.

God Bless

It's not true across the board.

Some churches seem to have different motivations toward their membership. I'll stop there because I don't want to be too negative today.

TheWhat? said:

It's not true across the board.

Some churches seem to have different motivations toward their membership.

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Hi TheWhat! If a church is not gospel/ bible based then I would recommend moving to one that is. God Bless

PrincessofGod18 said:

Hi all
I found Christian's can be not so supportive when it comes to mental health and anxiety. I have suffered really bad anxiety to a point I getting help from a CBT therapist.

But I have found a real lack of support from Christian's, as in I feel that if i don't go to church that's it they stop engaging with me.

Click to expand...

Are you saying that if you don't go to THEIR church, they lose interest in you? Or are you saying that you do not belong to or attend worship in any church and THAT is what alienates these Christians?

PrincessofGod18 said:

I thought church people are meant to engage in the outside world.

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Don't give up on people who don't know how to love you. And ones who haven't reached out to you possibly are being patient so you don't feel pushed. So, trust God about this.

Jesus does not give up on us.

Ones of them might be like you, perhaps > they don't know how to relate with you, while you don't know how to relate with them. So, pray for them, love them, have hope for them > love "hopes all things" (in 1 Corinthians 13:7). We all need to help one another with our shortcomings > notice how Ephesians 4:2 says we need to love with "longsuffering" > because our Father knows we will discover things that are wrong with each other. And as we get strong in longsuffering love, this strength multi-tasks to keep us clean and clear of anxiety and other cruel and foolish stuff.

Every one of us has been an impossible case. But you might feel like you are the only one with trouble; that can be a deception very isolating, to feel like you are by yourself and on your own. But . . . maybe . . . some of these others are like you, somehow.

Ones might not have obvious anxiety trouble, but still they can be weak so things can get to them very easily. There are people, for example, who are afraid of rain, of all things; this is not being strong in Jesus, I offer. So, in case ones are deeply weak in their own ways, how can they help you? Have compassion for them, then.

"He can have compassion on those who are ignorant and going astray, since he himself is also subject to weakness." (Hebrews 5:2)

And with forgiveness and compassion you can get stronger in love which makes us strong against anxiety which is very cruel, indeed. So, who knows? Maybe those clueless people are part of your cure, if you use this to find out how to love them so you get stronger against anxiety >

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment." (in 1 John 4:18)

You can ask the pastor if there are people who have experience with how they themselves needed to overcome anxiety. These might be mature senior Christians. Have you been sharing with senior mature people?

PrincessofGod18 said:

Hi all
I found Christian's can be not so supportive when it comes to mental health and anxiety. I have suffered really bad anxiety to a point I getting help from a CBT therapist.

But I have found a real lack of support from Christian's, as in I feel that if i don't go to church that's it they stop engaging with me. I thought church people are meant to engage in the outside world.

I feel the church is not taking anxiety and mental health seriously.

I am Christian and it takes me a lot long to process to getting back to some kind of normal.

Click to expand...

"Church People" are no different from anyone else, Christian or not. Compassion and love can be found in many places but not everyone is able to understand that it is only developed by being loving and forgiving. So please do not feel abandoned. Feel sorry for them who have not love in their hearts to give.
In Love
Jay Sea

Smaller churches are more desirable for people looking to build relationships or you can join small groups if you attend s bigger Church

PrincessofGod18 said:

Hi all
I found Christian's can be not so supportive when it comes to mental health and anxiety. I have suffered really bad anxiety to a point I getting help from a CBT therapist.

But I have found a real lack of support from Christian's, as in I feel that if i don't go to church that's it they stop engaging with me. I thought church people are meant to engage in the outside world.

I feel the church is not taking anxiety and mental health seriously.

I am Christian and it takes me a lot long to process to getting back to some kind of normal.

Click to expand...

Most people who stop going to church don't want to be hunted down by Christian's, no matter how well meaning those Christians hunting them down are.

People largely figure if you stopped going you didn't find what you needed there, for one reason or another and if that ever changes, you'll come back.

Should there be attempts to contact people who suddenly stop attending? Yes... but in the same breath they don't want to be the cause of people deciding to never try another visit again in the future.

I do understand from my husband this wasn't always the case in Christianity. When I wanted to visit many churches after I was saved he actually groaned at the sheer number of pastoral home visits we were about to get, but no one came (much to my husband's delight.. lol)

In delighting people like my husband who don't like company, others fall through the cracks.

I think it depends on the church and its body of believers. I started going back to church because I was experiencing anxiety so bad it was like borderline psychosis. The pastor was very understanding and one of the elders took me under his wing. I'd expect the same from the church I'm at now (moved to another state). The Lord leads me to down to earth loving caring pastors who attaract loving caring parishioners.

Now you have people praying for you. God is able to bring you to the right people.

You now could be doing things to keep you from knowing who is really going to tell you the right things. And you might not know you are doing this. This is why we . . . including you in "we" . . . need for God who knows to do what you need

My opinion and experience is any of us can have mental troubles, of some sort. And we ourselves can help to keep them going. We can pick and choose who we want to listen to, and ignore the mature people who give us the right answers which can be so simple that we just don't want it to be so simple.

So, you might do well simply to listen to what a pastor says during a sermon. And take it seriously, even if it seems too simple and not very impressive. And do not be surprised if a senior mature Christian has few words to say, or says read the Bible and trust God to do what He means by His word with you.

Because God's word gives us much more than how to solve our problems. And He knows how we can try to solve a trouble only so we can get back to how we want to live our lives. Well, this can not work >

"'He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.'" (John 12:25)

By loving my life I am guaranteeing I will lose it, and this can mean suffering emotionally and socially and mentally . . . losing my life inside myself. Because only with God can we be strong and safe, in His love with almighty power to keep us safe; but this comes with doing His will. And there is plenty in God's word and His people to help us with this. We do this as His family, not in isolation; so it is wise not to allow pleasures or pain to isolate you. Because then can be when you can fall for the strategy of pleasure making you weak so pain can take you down, and pain can make you weak so you trust in treasure pleasure for fake relief. So, beware of letting people or things get you under their power so you can be weak for pleasure and pain.

So, yes there is anxiety which is connected with sin. If God's word says, "Be anxious for nothing," then there is anxiety which He means is sin > Philippians 4:6-7. But in case someone's anxiety is a sin problem, we know God is committed to correcting and healing the person of this, since He is committed to correcting us who are His children. And Hebrews 12:4-14 guarantees how our Father deeply and truly corrects the character of every one of His children. So, are you feeding on things like this in the Bible? And are your people telling you about this?? If they don't, by the way, you can tell them

Also, our Apostle Paul says >

"All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any." (1 Corinthians 6:12)

A basic problem any of us can have is we allow people and things to get us under their power. And one thing can lead to another > for example, if you are allowing food to get power over you, your weakness for food pleasure can overtime and multi-task to make you weak so you can also suffer the pain of anxiety. Therefore, a basic we all need is how our Apostle Paul says >

"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might." (Ephesians 6:10)

So, we all need to do what you need to do And so, you now can do your homework, of prayer and in God's word, so then you can help others who are helping you. One of the most encouraging things you can do for helpful people is learn how God's word says for you to do better, so you can share this with people while they are caring for you > you can be their example, even, while you are getting their help.