What was the reason for your divorce?

alkaloid

Active Member
Apr 13, 2021
45
49
Toronto
✟10,327.00
Country
Canada
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Divorced
My ex didn't want to change/grow. I was going through therapy for the past couple of years to help with my depression and I was trying to help him with his (I was totally co-dependent at the time and didn't realize you can't fix people) and he refused to change. I eventually caught on to how much of a narcissist he was and how he started disrespecting me. I decided to call it quits. 2 months after filing for divorce, I found out he was cheating on me for months, which hurt a lot.

He was definitely a lesson for me and as painful of an experience as it was, God put him in my life for a reason. I was able to pull myself out of my lifelong depression after healing from my divorce and I'm actually really grateful for it. Also through my healing journey I found my way back to Christ after being an atheist for about 16 years. Now I look forward to finding someone who can love me almost just as much as he does Jesus
 
  • Friendly
Reactions: dayhiker
Upvote 0

Dr. Duderino

Member
Jun 5, 2021
16
10
34
Windsor, Ontario
✟1,170.00
Country
Canada
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Divorced
Hello all, I am new at CF. I really appreciate to get to know those on this wonderful forum.
All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and all of us who are Christ's are a work in progress growing in the knowledge, love and likeness of Christ.
Despite my own mistakes and habits, quirks and all...
Unfortunately my former spouse was verbally, emotionally (and to a degree physically) abusive from day one and capped it off with multiple affairs.
Borderline personality disorder with antisocial traits. Jekyll and Hyde.
I truly wish her to get the help and Christian counseling and therapy that she needs, lest she repeat this with the next person whom she has a relationship with. Otherwise, nothing will change on her end.
As for myself, "all things work together for those who love him..."
I have learned from my own mistakes and am prepared for the future, to honor the Lord in my life and to be the beloved god
 
  • Like
Reactions: dayhiker
Upvote 0

TheRealAriel

Peach
Mar 27, 2011
747
1,421
✟86,054.00
Country
United States
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Single
I entered into a relationship with my ex-husband during what was (at the time) the lowest point in my life wherein my mental health was suffering. From day one it was an emotionally abusive relationship, but I was in a place where I believed that was all I deserved and he made sure I fell deeper and deeper into that place. It took having a child that I wanted to protect and his emotional abuse starting to turn physical for me to finally realize I had to go.
 
Upvote 0

OldWiseGuy

Wake me when it's soup.
Supporter
Feb 4, 2006
46,773
10,981
Wisconsin
Visit site
✟960,122.00
Country
United States
Faith
Protestant
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
Money is important, but upon deep soul searching and reflection I have concluded that my wife and I just didn't have the love and commitment necessary to overcome the difficulties of marriage.
 
Upvote 0

Christopher Range

Active Member
Oct 5, 2022
54
40
56
Pittsboro
✟20,863.00
Country
United States
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
Divorced
Politics
US-Others
My future(now ex)wife n' I met when we were both 20(1987). Up to that point, I had only been 'saved' for a year. Her family on both sides were(still are) ELCA. Having been born in Berlin(Germany; American by birth), it only seemed that I join a Lutheran church. I went to her ELCA congregation weekly. I grew dismayed that the kids' were not carrying the cross. Which I had been told by the pastor(he retired several decades ago), that they had the kids' doing it. I told the pastor I would do it. Because he needed someone dependable.

In 1989, I officially joined the congregation. My future(now ex) Father-In-Law and his second wife, were my 'representatives' for baptism. As time had been going on since 1987, I started to notice disturbing behavior in the immediate family. My future(now ex)wife had(still has) behavioral problems that I couldn't figure out. But, The really bad part was, her younger brother, and two younger step-siblings, were all treated kindly when they did something wrong. Whereas, My future(now ex)wife was treated like the 'ugly duckling' and read the riot act. Not just by her father . But also by her mother, and step-mother.

In 1992, we got married. But trouble in marriage had already been brewing. My (ex)wife Would yell at me for not letting her do some things. Then when I let her do it, she would do a 180, call it a 'heavy issue' and refuse to do it.

By 1997, the marriage was irretrievably broken. In February of that year, my (ex)wife left a week before her 30th birthday. I was a mess for six months. I managed to get the DC Superior Court to let me in their 'domestic violence' program. Even though I was not sentenced to it by a judge. It was during that six-month program was not ALL my fault. I started to emotionally stand up for myself more.

In 2000, after three years of separation, I finally decided to get a divorce. My mother, step-mother and my (Soon-To-Be-Ex)mother-in-law were there. When it was finalized, my (ex)wife started running around balling her eyes out. It wasn't until 2015, that my suspicions about my (ex)wife's health were confirmed.
 
Last edited:
  • Friendly
Reactions: dayhiker
Upvote 0

SeventhFisherofMen

You cannot fool Jesus
Christian Forums Staff
Red Team - Moderator
Supporter
Jan 9, 2013
3,392
1,597
32
CA
✟392,455.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Separated
Politics
US-Republican
In the process of separation/divorce. She wanted an open marriage. I have prayed a lot for our marriage to the point that it has been too difficult to think about.

She didn't communicate, claimed she wanted more intimately in an unGodly way yet i was always willing to be intimate so that stung. It's like if I always made food and she said she was leaving me for lack of food. Maybe the threesome she wanted was like her wanting Mcdonalds when i made burgers that were actually good for her at home.

in the beginning she claimed she would never cheat on me or leave me, now she barely talks to me and i get the scraps when it comes to communication. It was an attack on our marriage and i hated it. i hate the world i hate the enemy i hate all this. People give me advice to do this or do that but i am just so tired of it. i cannot know the future i did everything right and i feel i am getting the bad end.

i don't know what to do. i cant stop thinking of the memories we had, ive cried for over a week, i feel like im going crazy with all the memories and thoughts i have. i feel like Jesus is the only one who hasnt abandoned me. dont want to end up as someone who just keeps getting into relationships and divorced, i know people who have been divorced 3 times i dont ever want to be that. i am worth something not trash like i have been treated. i dont know what to say what to do where to go i am literally not having fun. i go for walks and cant seem to escape these thoughts. i just want to move on!
 
Upvote 0

Christopher Range

Active Member
Oct 5, 2022
54
40
56
Pittsboro
✟20,863.00
Country
United States
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
Divorced
Politics
US-Others
We met when we were 20, got engaged at 22, married at 25. Even before the wedding, there were problems. I have had medical(physical) health problems since before my 1st birthday that celebrities or someone close to them have died from:

Aneurysm:

Hydrocephalus:

Epilepsy:

My Vein of Galen aneurysm caused the (obstructive)hydrocephalus. The brain surgeries I had(all before 10yrs.-old), caused Epilepsy. My (ex)wife couldn't cope, even though they existed long before the marriage(1992-2000). Her inability to cope really showed, when I had a bad seizure in our platform waterbed. Instead of staying by my side, she ran out of the bedroom. It was a miracle, that. I did not crack my skull open on the headboard. I would have bled to death. So much for 'in sickness, and in health'. She left me in 1997, but did not file for divorce. I was in tears when that happened. In 1998 she told me that, she just wanted my health issues to "just go away". I always knew there was something wrong with her, despite all her denials. In 2000 it was her turn to be in tears, when my divorce was finalized by a judge. In 2015, she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. When I was informed of this by my parents'(they still have contact with her family), I told them I refuse to have any contact with her. Because of both my physical and emotional health.

I had more seizures' since the divorce an in front my mentally-ill (ex)fiance, but. They were not reacted to, with blatant ignorance.
 
Upvote 0