Choosing a Wife (Beauty is Vain)

Aabbie James · Sep 11, 2021

Will Joseph said:
Because of what women wear in my neighborhood, I'm not really attracted to women who other men find visually appealing. Heck, I know some transwomen who can visually attract men more than a cis woman can, so I really am not interested in appearance. I don't know what I'd want in a wife, but it's definitely not appearance.

Thank you for your comments Will Joseph...

While we live in the world, we need not be of the world.

We were looking through old family photos and what stood out was that most of the people in the photos looked fit, groomed, and tidy when they were young. Seeing the same people age through the years, while they still looked fit, groomed, and tidy--they remained well-kept.

As you might suspect, however, is that there was much difference in their physical appearance from when these people were in their 20s to the same people as they reached their 40s or 60s or even 80s. In their latter years, some of them were slumped over slightly, other's bore evidence of a lifetime of physical labor on the farm or in the fields--skin ages, hands grow rugged, spectacles adorned eyes that are no longer youthful, sometimes clothing fits a little looser than it used to fit.

Physical beauty is "skin deep" and fleeting. A gentle and quiet spirit is more beautiful in God’s eyes. Look for a woman who puts God first in her life--and as evidenced by numerous married couples in my family, the rest will unfold according to God's will.

All glory to God. Praise the LORD.

timewerx · Sep 16, 2021

I am still single because I want a pretty face but I also don't want to be in vain!

Ironically, I don't trust pretty much. There's always a catch, unless I live in Nebraska or Denmark or Finland and I'm white but am not! But then I want pretty so there! I'll probably be single 'til I die!

exitstageright · Sep 17, 2021

OldWiseGuy said:
Who wants to date a 6'-4" woman?

A man who is taller than 6'-4".

exitstageright · Sep 17, 2021

public hermit said:
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

There is some truth in those lyrics. But,most women want to be told that they are pretty and/or beautiful. Now,if a christian man marries an physically unattractive woman. He tells her she is beautiful to make her feel good. Would he not be lying to her? A christian man should not be lying.

exitstageright · Sep 17, 2021

timewerx said:
I am still single because I want a pretty face but I also don't want to be in vain!

Ironically, I don't trust pretty much. There's always a catch, unless I live in Nebraska or Denmark or Finland and I'm white but am not! But then I want pretty so there! I'll probably be single 'til I die!

Have you ever noticed that Single Pastors tell us single men NOT to choose a woman because of her outward beauty? Yet,I have NOT EVER seen a Singles Pastor with an physically unattractive wife!
You go figure that out.

exitstageright · Sep 17, 2021

JustSomeBloke said:
Everyone knows that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. A well fed man is a happy man.

But,one has to be careful. Because a well overfed man leads to obesity,which can lead to diabetes,hypertension,(high blood pressure)and a CVE(Cardio-Vascular Event) such as a heart attack or a stroke.

exitstageright · Sep 17, 2021

Aabbie James said:
Thank you for your comments Will Joseph...

While we live in the world, we need not be of the world.

We were looking through old family photos and what stood out was that most of the people in the photos looked fit, groomed, and tidy when they were young. Seeing the same people age through the years, while they still looked fit, groomed, and tidy--they remained well-kept.

As you might suspect, however, is that there was much difference in their physical appearance from when these people were in their 20s to the same people as they reached their 40s or 60s or even 80s. In their latter years, some of them were slumped over slightly, other's bore evidence of a lifetime of physical labor on the farm or in the fields--skin ages, hands grow rugged, spectacles adorned eyes that are no longer youthful, sometimes clothing fits a little looser than it used to fit.

Physical beauty is "skin deep" and fleeting. A gentle and quiet spirit is more beautiful in God’s eyes. Look for a woman who puts God first in her life--and as evidenced by numerous married couples in my family, the rest will unfold according to God's will.

All glory to God. Praise the LORD.

Just as The Temptations Song goes:
" So if you're looking for a lover/don't judge a book by its cover
she may be fine on the outside/but so untrue on the inside
beauty's only skin deep/yeah,yeah,yeah,
beauty's only skin deep/oh yeah"

public hermit · Sep 17, 2021

exitstageright said:
There is some truth in those lyrics. But,most women want to be told that they are pretty and/or beautiful. Now,if a christian man marries an physically unattractive woman. He tells her she is beautiful to make her feel good. Would he not be lying to her? A christian man should not be lying.

Every woman should be told she's beautiful because she is. All one has to do is look. The beauty of God and God's creation is ubiquitous. Lovers should search for the beauty that is there. So long as both are willing, gracious, and giving the beauty will come through, I think. That is what love is for!

Love doesn't expect the beauty to be given, love seeks it out, enjoys it, and rests in it. All of that is true for our love of God, too.

bèlla · Sep 17, 2021

public hermit said:
Every woman should be told she's beautiful because she is. All one has to do is look. The beauty of God and God's creation is ubiquitous. Lovers should search for the beauty that is there. So long as both are willing, gracious, and giving the beauty will come through, I think. That is what love is for! Love doesn't expect the beauty to be given, love seeks it out, enjoys it, and rests in it. All of that is true for our love of God, too.

You may be a hermit but you're pretty smart!

KTJ · Sep 17, 2021

bèlla said:
The statement is factual. There are multiple references to physical attractiveness in the bible. Sarah, Rebekah, and Esther to name a few.

Thank you, I like simple answers to simple questions.

KTJ · Sep 17, 2021

Aabbie James said:
Welcome to the forums KTJ... What does scripture say? It's important that we not read into scripture our own personal feelings, but rather allow God's Word to teach us His truth. Let's try to find the truth in God's Word...

The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). Nothing in a person’s outward appearance impresses God. God looks upon the inner beauty, the beauty of one's heart.

There are numerous Biblical examples of people who were beautiful to God, virtually nothing is known about their physical appearance. It was not their physique or stateliness but their faith and service that made them beautiful. The same was true of God's beautiful women: Rahab, Hannah, Ruth, Deborah, and Mary of Bethany. Those noted for physical beauty were often great spiritual disappointments. Rebekah was "very beautiful" (Genesis 26:7), but she was also a deceiver and manipulator. Saul was a man of physical beauty, but his disobedience against God hurt the nation of Israel.

Peter directed Christian women to focus on the inner, spiritual qualities in order to be truly beautiful: "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight..." (1 Peter 3:3-5)

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." (Proverbs 31:30)

A gentle and quiet spirit is even more beautiful in God’s eyes.

Thank you for your response. I’m quite familiar with all these verses but I’m not referring to them. Also, not sure what you mean by “It’s important that we not read into scripture our own personal feelings.”

Whose voice do you believe is speaking in these verses? Is this God’s voice stating that one is physically beautiful and a virgin, or is it just the author’s opinion?

timewerx · Sep 18, 2021

exitstageright said:
Have you ever noticed that Single Pastors tell us single men NOT to choose a woman because of her outward beauty? Yet,I have NOT EVER seen a Singles Pastor with an physically unattractive wife!
You go figure that out.

The singles definitely love him say that!

OldWiseGuy · Sep 18, 2021

timewerx said:
I am still single because I want a pretty face but I also don't want to be in vain!

Ironically, I don't trust pretty much. There's always a catch, unless I live in Nebraska or Denmark or Finland and I'm white but am not! But then I want pretty so there! I'll probably be single 'til I die!

There are so few really beautiful (or handsome) people that you probably have to 'settle' if you are to marry.

MehGuy · Sep 18, 2021

Scientists say about 10% of women are ugly and 43% of men are ugly.. so more women will have to settle compared to men.

OldWiseGuy · Sep 19, 2021

MehGuy said:
Scientists say about 10% of women are ugly and 43% of men are ugly.. so more women will have to settle compared to men.

Ugly? That's harsh.

MehGuy · Sep 19, 2021

OldWiseGuy said:
Ugly? That's harsh.

Yeah.. scientists are not exactly known to be the more compassionate people.

Lifelong_sinner · Sep 19, 2021

I have to say, im surprised as many people get married as there are. With laws written to favor women, i gotta say, i’ve yet to meet anyone i would be willing to give half of everything to. This may sound cynical, but i figure theres only 2 reasons to get married, financial and sexual. I simply dont trust people when something important like marriage is based on either of those 2 things.

timewerx · Sep 19, 2021

MehGuy said:
Yeah.. scientists are not exactly known to be the more compassionate people.

They're one of the richest people in the planet in a job they actually love and enjoy doing and they have high enough IQ to easily learn and adapt to the ever-changing world. Life and money is easy to them.

Only very few people in the world live like that and would likely be indifferent to the struggles faced by the majority.

Aabbie James · Sep 19, 2021

Paul Washer: The woman without discretion, even the most beautiful woman without discretion, is like a gold ring in a pigs snout. And young guys listen to me: If you are led into marriage because of the sensuality of the girl you will hate yourself in the end. You will hate yourself. But if you’re led into it by her virtue, her intelligence, her godliness, you will find a mate for life.

"...the most beautiful woman without discretion, is like a gold ring in a pigs snout."

Tim Conway: Young men, we live in a world, even in the professing christian world, that tells you to chase beauty. And the Bible says: treat it as a common thing, treat it as unsubstantial, treat it as an empty thing, because it’s empty! If you chase beauty… I tell you many young men have lived to regret the decisions they made. You don’t realize, if you’re not married you do not realize what it is to get a bad wife or what it is to get a good wife. And if you chase beauty, and you end up getting beauty, and you get a godless women inside that beauty. Even if she’s a true christian, but she’s contentious, she’s un-sanctified, she’s proud, she’s un-submissive. You’re going to live to regret it. Young men, I know some of you are not hearing me, I know you're not hearing me! Because there’s such a natural tendency to be drawn towards what is beautiful. But the Bible says: treat it as an empty thing, treat it as empty.

Paul Washer: If you are led into marriage because of the sensuality of the girl, you will hate yourself in the end. You will hate yourself.

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." (Proverbs 31:30)

bèlla · Sep 19, 2021

This thread has taken an odd turn and seems to paint attractive women in a negative guise while suggesting those lacking the same are holier. You'll find godly women in all circles. Whether they're attractive, cute, average, and so on. No one has a monopoly on godliness.

Choosing a Wife (Beauty is Vain)

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