What does a happy relationship look like?

Well, I've been happily married for 51 years so I think I qualify. 8^)

First of all there were definite qualities that made me fall in love with my wife. She was/is extremely loving toward almost all people that she knows. This isn't naive blindness, as there are people she definitely doesn't like, but there is always a valid reason for her dislike.

Secondly, she loves to have fun. Whether it's with me, our children, our grandchildren, our dogs, her horses, etc. she seems to derive a lot of happiness and joy from those of us fortunate enough to be with her.

Thirdly, she doesn't like negativity. I tend to be negative about a number of issues and/or people -- she shares most of those views -- but she doesn't express them.

Fourthly, she is intelligent. Her long career as a Masters-certified nurse-midwife, caring for mothers and babies and applying her skills and knowledge for their benefit.

Fifthly, she is a devoted Christian. While I tend to read the Bible and be studious about what I read, she lives Christian values. Luke 6:31, "Treat others in the same way that you would want them to treat you."

Lastly, there is just a quality to our marriage that I can't describe. This is not an exaggeration: we simply love each other and have had a very happy life. Literally, there isn't a single day that I don't look forward to sharing with her. That includes doing all those day-to-day things that we both do: cooking, doing the dishes, doing the laundry, food shopping, etc. God brought us together and has kept us together, with His love and joy.

I wish the same for you -- and everyone.

I am sure that by loving each other, you get to a really good start.

I Corinthians 13:4-10 "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away."

And we should not love money.

I Timothy 6:10-11 "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness."

Of course, commandments for a married couple should be really important.

Ephesians 5:28-33 "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones. ‘For this is a reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."

I Corinthians 7:3 "Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband."
Proverbs 31:30 "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised."
Psalms 12:2 "A good man obtains favor from the Lord, But a man of wicked intentions He will condemn."

Don't ever forget faith. Because without faith you can't please God. Do everything you do to praise God.
Hebrews 11:6 "But without faith, it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him."

May God bless you. Praise Lord.

Poliskis said:

Hi everyone, I'm in the courting phase of my relationship and I'm really trying to figure out if I'm making the right decision. So I'm wondering if any experienced people out there can share some insight into what a happy couple looks like? And for any married people out there, I'd like to hear about what a happy married couple looks like and the different stages as well. Any tips are appreciated!

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Look for actual compatibility. Compatibility isn't shared common interests, compatibility will determine how well you will do as you go through life together as a team.

By this I mean do you just fit, is she strong in areas your weak in, and are you strong in areas she is weak?

By this I mean if your good with people she can be weak in the people area, or only one of you needs to be good in numbers (someone has to be good at keeping the accounts), is one or both of you good at budgeting and staying your spending within the household budget (at times in your life you'll do better financially than other times, so you have to have a household that's good at saving during the good times and not overspend in the bad)

And not only that, but are both of you able to recognize the positive qualities in the other and submit to the other when and where it's needed.

By this I mean are you able to say yeah, I suck at budgeting so I'll submit to the others superior knowledge and ability in this area and not get upset when the other says "we can't afford x", so on and so forth. Are you able to be submissive when it comes to your weaknesses? Is your potential spouse?

Making lists, really examine both yourself and your very real unvarnished self as well as your spouse and figure out if you are "helpmeets" to one another.

If your compatible, your marriage will last if you both dedicate yourself to it...

If one of you has an explosive temper, it's likely to never work. You have to both be able to submit, to one another, and to the marriage.