I’m afraid that I’ve committed false repentance

Blaise N said:

Hi guys,I recently read a thread on Reddit as a guest,where the discussion was over reformed theology and if fear of hell is a motive for repentance.

I’d like to be the first to admit I am moderately scared of hell,not so much as I used to be,but now what is really anxiety inducing is I'm afraid I'm doing everything Godly because of that fear.Like I can’t pray or do anything for the lord without an intrusive thought saying I’m doing this because of an ulterior motive of fear of hell.And it’s driving me nuts.

I can’t remember if I’ve felt Godly remorse,and the scary thing is I don’t think or I think I don’t feel sorry for committing the sin of inappropriate contentography.When I first became a Christian,I remember the guilt and shame and fear of every secret and lie I held,and confessed them to my parents and God.I’m scared because I haven’t felt Godly remorse or if I can’t remember if I have.The thread I read had quotes from RC sproul,how can I feel godly remorse and if I haven’t,come to true repentance? Baecaise I’m scared God doesn’t/hasn’t forgive(n) me or love(d) me.

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A couple of things to settle yourself: although not the best motivation (the love of God in Himself without reference to you is the highest motivation for repentance) Hell more than suffices. As long as your motivation is not coming from some natural thing (like getting embarrassed in front of others for your sin or getting caught in the law) then any motivation suffices. Hell counts. It is not an "ulterior motive." It's a good motive as it comes from supernatural revelation. You're fine.

Secondly: you do not need to feel anything to repent in your emotion. People like psycho/sociopaths are all capable of repenting. You merely need to go something like "God said inappropriate content is bad, I shouldn't have done it, I don't want to do it again" and then reform your life to the best of your ability in accordance with that. Not a single tear needs to be shed, not a single emotion felt, nothing at all. You simply recognize God's Law and want to be in accordance with it. That is true repentance, which is literally the changing of the mind. In light of God's Law you change your mind, it doesn't need to be more emotional than changing your mind about what restaurant to go to, "the reviews sad that one was trash I'll go to this other one."

I am not familiar with how a protestant uses confession, but I'll try to respond from my understandings and view as best I can.
This is a hard topic. I want to ask this first, do you feel ANY remorse, sadness or shame when you commit a sin (apply this to any sin you like be it inappropriate contentography, lying, not respecting your parents, etc.) or after? I would take that as the remorse needed for forgiveness. I more believe that if you commit a sin and have absolutely no feelings on a negative side of the scale, then you need to work on it some.
I feel varying degrees of shame, guilt, remorse and sometimes horror at my sins. I hate it and will find myself speaking to God within a day and apologizing and asking forgiveness. Of course being Catholic that is not enough and I make a trek to Church when Confession is happening (and if the sin is weighing very heavy on my mind and I cannot make confession before my next mass of obligation I either will make an appointment to have a private confession with the monsignor/priest or I will not take communion till I make my confession.
One thing I do (any I do not think it will apply to you, though if you confess to your parents it does for sure) is when I am at confession, I do not sit behind the curtain, I will sit in front of the priest and confess. I feel this gives me the extra shame that I hope will persuade me to NOT recommit that sin. Does that always work? No, sadly and I am shamed more before the Lord, but I feel it helps me.

In the end, God knows what is in your heart.

(Thank goodness bad spelling is not a sin or I would be neck deep in the fires of hell! ! And thank the Lord for allowing me to use a spell check in life!)

Sincerely,
David

Abaxvahl said:

You merely need to go something like "God said inappropriate content is bad, I shouldn't have done it, I don't want to do it again" and then reform your life to the best of your ability in accordance with that. Not a single tear needs to be shed, not a single emotion felt, nothing at all. You simply recognize God's Law and want to be in accordance with it. That is true repentance, which is literally the changing of the mind.

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Well said! You are a much better speaker on this than I was.

My understanding is that repentance is turning away from sin. As far as I know Godly remorse isn’t a Biblical phrase. That tend to push people into trying to develop certain feelings, which I don’t think is a good approach. Jesus often speaks of intent, but I don’t think that’s quite the same as feelings.

hedrick said:

My understanding is that repentance is turning away from sin. As far as I know Godly remorse isn’t a Biblical phrase. That tend to push people into trying to develop certain feelings, which I don’t think is a good approach. Jesus often speaks of intent, but I don’t think that’s quite the same as feelings.

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Absolutely. And look at the damage it's caused by people feeling separated from God or think they are because they claim they don't feel a certain thing.

Blaise N said:

Hi guys,I recently read a thread on Reddit as a guest,where the discussion was over reformed theology and if fear of hell is a motive for repentance.

I’d like to be the first to admit I am moderately scared of hell,not so much as I used to be,but now what is really anxiety inducing is I'm afraid I'm doing everything Godly because of that fear.Like I can’t pray or do anything for the lord without an intrusive thought saying I’m doing this because of an ulterior motive of fear of hell.And it’s driving me nuts.

I haven’t felt Godly remorse,and it’s scarier that I don’t feel sorry for sin,and worst yet I still don’t feel it,I can’t remember if I’ve felt Godly remorse,and the scary thing is I don’t think or I think I don’t feel sorry for committing the sin of inappropriate contentography.When I first became a Christian,I remember the guilt and shame and fear of every secret and lie I held,and confessed them to my parents and God.I’m scared because I haven’t felt Godly remorse or if I can’t remember if I have.The thread I read had quotes from RC sproul,how can I feel godly remorse and if I haven’t,come to true repentance? Baecaise I’m scared God doesn’t/hasn’t forgive(n) me or love(d) me.

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Remember that there is no way you can do anything right enough, sincerely enough, well enough, be sorry enough, feel enough remorse, repent well enough, motivations pure enough, etc to merit anything. You can't do "enough", with God.

That is the reason for Grace.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom (Proverbs 9:10) but (I John 4:18) Perfect love casteth out fear.

These articles may be helpful:
Professor Alexei Osipov. The Fear of God
On the Fear of God
Abba Dorotheos. The Fourth Instruction. Concerning the Fear of God
On the Fear of God
Archpriest Artemy Vladimirov. What Is True Repentance?
[URL="https://orthochristian.com/111973.html"]St. Ignatius (Brianchaninov). Repentance is All-Powerful
Priest Sergei Begiyan. Reflections on Repentance
Repentance is the Second Victory. Archpriest Alexander Shargunov[/URL]

Blaise N said:

I can’t pray or do anything for the lord without an intrusive thought saying I’m doing this because of an ulterior motive of fear of hell.And it’s driving me nuts.

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You are your own worst enemy in that you will not put into practise known techquies for dealing with intrusive thoughts.
from 25 tips for sucessfully treating your ocd.
you don't have to be ocd to have intrusive thoughts.

"4. Always try hard to agree with all obsessive thoughts — never analyze, question, or argue with them. The questions they raise are not real questions, and there are no real answers to them. Try not to get too detailed when agreeing — simply say the thoughts are true and real.

5. Don’t waste time trying to prevent or not think your thoughts. This will only have the opposite effect and lead to thinking more thoughts. Studies have shown that you cannot effectively stop or push down particular thoughts. Your motto should be, “If you want to think about them less, think about them more.”

Why not try this and post about it.

Not that I'm a mental health professional in any capacity, but if I may offer some thoughts on the matter...

It is an unfortunate fact that we don't live in the good and perfect world that God initially created in the beginning of Genesis; instead we are currently inhabiting a world that is groaning in pain and decay (Romans 8:21-22) due to the effects of the fall. But sin, evil and suffering doesn't exist on its own right, but they are like parasitic virus that can only corrupt something that is originally good, usually by twisting it out of its healthy proportion, like a good fruit that has gone overripe and starts to rot instead.

Fear, in its right place, protects us from recklessly and needlessly rushing to our own harm and leads us to seek for safety; and people who are more anxious are likely to be more thoughtful and better planned, and better prepared than people who are more carefree (although both temperaments have their own merits). Out of its proportion, however, our fear and anxieties becomes an irrational paranoia that paralyzes us instead, and hurts us more than it helps.

Now I cannot give a specific answer on why God allowed you to have this particular problem, but all I can ask you is to trust that He knows what He's doing when he made you, with all your strengths and weaknesses (Psalm 139:14), and I pray theat He will help you triumph over those weaknesses.

As for your question about the proper motives of coming to God, the Bible tells us this: "This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." (1 John 4:10) From a human standpoint, it is impossible for us to love someone without a reason -- to love someone who have not shown qualities we find lovable -- even moreso when that someone is an invisible God. But praise God, that His love is enough to make up for our lack.

Is the fear of Hell an appropriate reason for us to believe? I'd say it's a good start, and you're more likely to develop a better appreciation for the Saviour when you properly understand what He's saved you from.

And again I encourage you not to beat yourself too much over these negative thoughts and emotions (or lack thereof in the case of repentance). At least you understand that it is important to have your heart right with God; far too many people think that being a Christian is a "get-out-of-Hell" free card that gives you the right to just do whatever you like and sin with impunity.

Blaise N said:

I’m constantly worried that I have a heartened heart,or that I’m an Esau,or that I’m not an elect,it’s constant worries

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That you worry about being these indicates that you are not.
How many non christians do you know who laugh at the thougt of hell?

Blaise N said:

John can I ask you something else?,

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You may always post comments and questions.

Blaise N said:

What purpose does he have for me

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As to why your particular problems. I ve no idea, except the general explaination for suffering.
That we all live in a world spoilled by sin.

As to what is your purpose?
That is to serve God despite your problems.

Jesus said that from those who have , a lot is expected, while those who have nothing will get there reward.
( heavily parapharased )
I believe that those who struggle in life to serve God will get there reward in heaven. It won't be the famous preachers who will be placed near to Jesus but those who carried on inspite of great problems and difficulties.

Tolworth John said:

As to why your particular problems. I ve no idea, except the general explaination for suffering.
That we all live in a world spoilled by sin.

As to what is your purpose?
That is to serve God despite your problems.

Jesus said that from those who have , a lot is expected, while those who have nothing will get there reward.
( heavily parapharased )
I believe that those who struggle in life to serve God will get there reward in heaven. It won't be the famous preachers who will be placed near to Jesus but those who carried on inspite of great problems and difficulties.

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To add on to this, God counts us as righteous and rewards us for our faith (Romans 4:3), and having faith in God is choosing to trust and follow Him in spite of our doubts, challenges and struggles.

I used to ask, whenever I sin, why God doesn't just remove my temptations and sinful inclinations when I received Him, so that I would never fall. But I was reading Judges, and God revealed that He sometimes leave our enemies unconquered to test our faith (Judges 2:22-23), and see if we would still walk in the narrow path in the face of oppositions, whether from external forces, or from within ourselves.

If I no longer have the desire to sin, then following God is no longer a matter of faith, but of convenience, because I would simply be going after what makes me the happiest. But to choose to listen to what God says even when the Self (our minds, our emotions) say, "No!" because we know from His word that His ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts higher than ours... that's faith. That's hope. That's love.