marrieds with a trad wife ?

mama2one said:

any married with a traditional wife?
or are you considered a traditional wife?

Click to expand...

We were fortunate that my wife could stay at home with the kids. However, now in my mid-50s, my concern is that if anything happens to me, she will not have the means to support herself or the two of us. My father passed away when he was 55 and at least my mother was a working nurse.

mama2one said:

saw posted on singles...guessing trad means traditional
when I married, we both worked/were DINKS

husband told me later that he had it "planned" that he could afford house if or when we went to one income

after several years, we became parents & I became a sahm
maybe I'm trad wife now since he works & comes home to dinner being ready?

any married with a traditional wife?
or are you considered a traditional wife?

Click to expand...

I guess my wife would be considered traditional. She was a stay at home mother until our children were in school when she took a job in the school system. Now, the children have grown up and left, but she does not work outside the home. It works for us.

GreekOrthodox said:

We were fortunate that my wife could stay at home with the kids. However, now in my mid-50s, my concern is that if anything happens to me, she will not have the means to support herself or the two of us. My father passed away when he was 55 and at least my mother was a working nurse.

Click to expand...

This is a concern I have as well. I have some life insurance for my wife, but not enough to support her indefinitely, I fear.

mama2one said:

saw posted on singles...guessing trad means traditional
when I married, we both worked/were DINKS

husband told me later that he had it "planned" that he could afford house if or when we went to one income

after several years, we became parents & I became a sahm
maybe I'm trad wife now since he works & comes home to dinner being ready?

any married with a traditional wife?
or are you considered a traditional wife?

Click to expand...

I am married to a wife who is the definition of traditional wife. She has been a church organist ever since we met after church 22 years ago. It was 6 Dec 1998 - will never forget that day. She is the most amazing woman on the face of this earth, IMHO.

My wife used to have a 9 to 5 job. That ended abruptly when she phoned me in tears, from work. It was the best thing ever. Told her she's welcome to pursue anything in this life she desires, and promised my support. The rest is history

mama2one said:

that's why people have life insurance

husband bought a policy when he was in college

Click to expand...

Yeah, I have a decent policy. But her family tends to live around 100 years. I can't afford a policy that would provide for 40+ years.

mama2one said:

saw posted on singles...guessing trad means traditional
when I married, we both worked/were DINKS

husband told me later that he had it "planned" that he could afford house if or when we went to one income

after several years, we became parents & I became a sahm
maybe I'm trad wife now since he works & comes home to dinner being ready?

any married with a traditional wife?
or are you considered a traditional wife?

Click to expand...

Despite the fact that my wife has been working during our marriage, I think she more or less fits within the neo-categorization of "the tradwife." Her values are traditional.

My wife is my wife.

I don't need to lump a label on her of traditional neowhatsits... that would be comparing her to a cookie cutter of what society says she shouod be one way or the other wheter it be the side screaming "I am woman hear me roar" or the side saying "I am woman see ne bake".

She should do as the Lord leads her to and all that entails. The Lord knows the weight she can lift, He empowers me to lift the rest.

If we cant lift it together... its not ours to carry.

That said, I am the man and she stays in her lane and doesnt burn my grilled cheese sammich.... otherwise...... she's goin to the moon.

Toro said:

My wife is my wife.

I don't need to lump a label on her of traditional neowhatsits... that would be comparing her to a cookie cutter of what society says she shouod be one way or the other wheter it be the side screaming "I am woman hear me roar" or the side saying "I am woman see ne bake".

She should do as the Lord leads her to and all that entails. The Lord knows the weight she can lift, He empowers me to lift the rest.

If we cant lift it together... its not ours to carry.

That said, I am the man and she stays in her lane and doesnt burn my grilled cheese sammich.... otherwise...... she's goin to the moon.

Click to expand...

...yeah, I hear ya! I don't much like the label of 'tradwife.' It's sounds a bit pejorative, as if there's something backwards or wrong with a woman being a Proverbs 31 kind of woman who follows the Lord in her life and heart and mind.

I understood "tradwife" to mean someone who bought into headship/submission dynamics of marriage. I am not that kind of wife.

Nor am I a SAHM kind of wife. That proved to be a fast track to crippling depression, for me. (Quite apart from the financial implications).

Proverbs 31 I find a useful passage which gives us some wisdom about virtue, but is not a template for 21st century living in all its details. (Or at least, if it is, I'm missing the bit about having a staff of servant-girls...)

My image of marriage is that we're a team. Together we work towards what we believe God calls us to be and do in life. We have to juggle the different tasks that are part of that picture between us, and sometimes that juggle is easier or harder, or a better or worse fit, but the point of marriage is that we are doing it together and supporting one another.

I've worked out that working is really important for my mental health. Part time is ok, full time is better. The stint of time I had at home not working at all was just awful.

Well, it's true having satisfying work helps, but even back in the days when I was a temp doing data entry, or before that in retail, working was better for me than not.

Paidiske said:

I understood "tradwife" to mean someone who bought into headship/submission dynamics of marriage. I am not that kind of wife.

Nor am I a SAHM kind of wife. That proved to be a fast track to crippling depression, for me. (Quite apart from the financial implications).

Proverbs 31 I find a useful passage which gives us some wisdom about virtue, but is not a template for 21st century living in all its details. (Or at least, if it is, I'm missing the bit about having a staff of servant-girls...)

My image of marriage is that we're a team. Together we work towards what we believe God calls us to be and do in life. We have to juggle the different tasks that are part of that picture between us, and sometimes that juggle is easier or harder, or a better or worse fit, but the point of marriage is that we are doing it together and supporting one another.

Click to expand...

Sure. I agree that Proverbs 31 isn't a 'template.' All I was really saying is that that biblical text was influential in helping me identify the kind of woman that I should be looking for, as opposed to the Hugh Hefner brand of choice. Catch my drift?

On a more general scale that is in line with what you've said, and one which takes into consideration the modern social dilemmas between class, sex, and ethnicity we're all still faced with these days, I agree with you that there is more to any woman's life and identity as a Christian than merely citing a singular biblical text such as Proverbs 31.

However, I still consider my wife to be a "traditional" woman, and her can-do ability and her own individual, quasi-liberated personhood doesn't diminish this. And even though she has spent some time earning multiple degrees and holding solid jobs (in a way reminiscent of yourself, Paidiske), and even though she and I have had to navigate a couple of hurdles in our marriage, she's always been a wonderful [Christian] wife and a mother who has been there at all times for our son.