Not religious but raising child as a Christian?

Sodafox

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Howdy y'all. It'll be a few years yet before I really need to make a decision on this but I'd like to hear what you all have to say.

I believe I picked up a lot of good values being raised as a Christian. However, my mom is actually a Christian, so what I learned in church/Sunday school she personally reinforced. I don't think I, being non-religious, would feel right doing the same. I worry that this will either cause confusion in a young child, or if I do try to reinforce what is taught, I'll come across as disingenuous and it'll show.

Anyway, looking forward to any thoughts or advice on how a non-religious person can best instill Christian values and, if anyone has been in a similar situation, when it would be best to start to avoid confusing the child with contradicting ideas.
 
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mindfulzen

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Howdy y'all. It'll be a few years yet before I really need to make a decision on this but I'd like to hear what you all have to say.

I believe I picked up a lot of good values being raised as a Christian. However, my mom is actually a Christian, so what I learned in church/Sunday school she personally reinforced. I don't think I, being non-religious, would feel right doing the same. I worry that this will either cause confusion in a young child, or if I do try to reinforce what is taught, I'll come across as disingenuous and it'll show.

Anyway, looking forward to any thoughts or advice on how a non-religious person can best instill Christian values and, if anyone has been in a similar situation, when it would be best to start to avoid confusing the child with contradicting ideas.
Teach the christian values you act out as a person. Live as you speak I guess. Otherwise your kids might resent the faith for being hypocritical, if you instill values you do not abide by yourself. But if you are not going to tell them you are christian, it should not reflect on the religion, then it is just culture or traditional values. So you can call yourself cultural christian, while you wait for the faith. That distinction should clear it up, I think.
 
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HTacianas

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Howdy y'all. It'll be a few years yet before I really need to make a decision on this but I'd like to hear what you all have to say.

I believe I picked up a lot of good values being raised as a Christian. However, my mom is actually a Christian, so what I learned in church/Sunday school she personally reinforced. I don't think I, being non-religious, would feel right doing the same. I worry that this will either cause confusion in a young child, or if I do try to reinforce what is taught, I'll come across as disingenuous and it'll show.

Anyway, looking forward to any thoughts or advice on how a non-religious person can best instill Christian values and, if anyone has been in a similar situation, when it would be best to start to avoid confusing the child with contradicting ideas.

Send your children to Sunday School. They'll make paper angels and learn the Golden Rule.
 
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royal priest

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Howdy y'all. It'll be a few years yet before I really need to make a decision on this but I'd like to hear what you all have to say.

I believe I picked up a lot of good values being raised as a Christian. However, my mom is actually a Christian, so what I learned in church/Sunday school she personally reinforced. I don't think I, being non-religious, would feel right doing the same. I worry that this will either cause confusion in a young child, or if I do try to reinforce what is taught, I'll come across as disingenuous and it'll show.

Anyway, looking forward to any thoughts or advice on how a non-religious person can best instill Christian values and, if anyone has been in a similar situation, when it would be best to start to avoid confusing the child with contradicting ideas.
It would be contradictory because Christianity is a religion that requires a profound faith made possible only through the new birth. It is a supernatural relationship with the risen Lord.
If you aren't experienced in the discipline of applying biblical principles of saving faith to your own heart, then you won't be able to teach that to your child. In other words, if the root of the matter is missing in you, then it will be missing your guidance of the child's heart. To use the analogy of another, it would be like trying to hang fruit on a tree that is unable to bear its own fruit. In the end, you would likely produce a child that thinks too little of God and too much of themselves.
 
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Sodafox

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It would be contradictory because Christianity is a religion that requires a profound faith made possible only through the new birth. It is a supernatural relationship with the risen Lord.
If you aren't experienced in the discipline of applying biblical principles of saving faith to your own heart, then you won't be able to teach that to your child. In other words, if the root of the matter is missing in you, then it will be missing your guidance of the child's heart. To use the analogy of another, it would be like trying to hang fruit on a tree that is unable to bear its own fruit. In the end, you would likely produce a child that thinks too little of God and too much of themselves.
I don't believe you need to believe in god to understand and follow the golden rule or to be like Jesus and offer kindness and understanding to "sinners" or to stand against authority one views as unjust or immoral.
 
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Dave L

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There is a great possibility you will damage your kids apart from sound teaching. Here's an example:https://twitter.com/hashtag/raptureanxiety?lang=en

This is widespread false teaching in many churches today. If your children belong to God, they will find him.

“All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.” John 6:37 (KJV 1900)
 
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royal priest

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I don't believe you need to believe in god to understand and follow the golden rule or to be like Jesus and offer kindness and understanding to "sinners" or to stand against authority one views as unjust or immoral.
The point of Jesus' ministry was to teach people about the Kingdom of God. He was delivering people from the lie of the Pharisees that they could be good enough to deserve God's mercy. People that think they can do good because they are good and other people are good are actually against Jesus.
 
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Tolworth John

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looking forward to any thoughts or advice on how a non-religious person can best instill Christian value

Simplist way is to become a Christian yourself.

Preeteen it doesn't matter but teenagers are very quick to spot inconstancies in there parents life.
Why should your children adopt ideas you do not believe?
 
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Sodafox

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Simplist way is to become a Christian yourself.

I don't think that will be possible but let me ask this: to be a Christian is to believe in God as described in the bible and to believe Jesus Christ is the one and only son of God, correct?
 
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Albion

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I don't think that will be possible but let me ask this: to be a Christian is to believe in God as described in the bible and to believe Jesus Christ is the one and only son of God, correct?
Yes.

But I think you have raised a good and reasonable issue here. Not being a Christian yourself, you feel that raising your child in the Christian frame of mind would be worthwhile. At the same time, you recognized some possible pitfalls or difficulties with trying to do that.

It may require you to be on your toes whenever this is part of your child-raising efforts, but while Christianity is fairly specific with regard to its doctrines concerning God, etc., you are also aware that Christianity is known by most people to have a certain profile of values and...they are not necessarily dependent upon belief in God or the rest.

As a matter of fact, not engaging in certain practices such as adultery, lying, stealing, jealousy, disrespecting one's parents and elders, and so on are so deeply ingrained in the Western, and especially American, experience that even non-believers tend to agree to the rightness of such values.

My opinion, therefore, is that it is possible to rear a child in such values and not connect it with church attendance or other overtly Christian practices and doctrines--without appearing to be a hypocrite--but it would take some doing.

And I presume that you wouldn't be openly hostile towards Christianity if, for instance, your child wanted to accept a friend's invitation to see a Christmas play at that friend's church, etc.

Looked at this in another way, your situation isn't awfully much different, for all practical purposes, from the parent who is a nominal Christian but never attends church anywhere and doesn't talk as though she's a religious person. And many of those people's kids grow up to be moral people and, not uncommonly, choose a church for themselves in later life.
 
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Tolworth John

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I don't think that will be possible but let me ask this: to be a Christian is to believe in God as described in the bible and to believe Jesus Christ is the one and only son of God, correct?

No, even devils believe that and do more for they tremble in fear.

A Christian is someone who has faith in or is trusting in Jesus's death and resurrection for their salvation.
It follows that such a belief carries over into how they live.
 
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Sodafox

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No, even devils believe that and do more for they tremble in fear.

A Christian is someone who has faith in or is trusting in Jesus's death and resurrection for their salvation.
It follows that such a belief carries over into how they live.
Interesting. Do I have to believe all three things or can one be Christian only believing that Jesus Christ is salvation but not necessarily that he's the one and only son of God or that God is as described in the bible?
 
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Tolworth John

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Interesting. Do I have to believe all three things or can one be Christian only believing that Jesus Christ is salvation but not necessarily that he's the one and only son of God or that God is as described in the bible?

We are capable of a great deal of self deception, so if one believes Jesus has paid for one's sins, it is possible to ignore the logical conclusion that only God can forgive sins and to believe that there are other gods.
May I suggest that youAttend your local church and talk with the minister or check out the christianityexplained web site for a church running this course and sign up.
It will give you the opportunity to discuss Christian issues with people face to face.
 
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timf

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What makes Christianity different from other religions is the sublimation of self out of love for others. This is accomplished through the work of the Spirit of God within a believer. Sadly, many Christians approach Christianity simply as a religion and fall short of this.

The closest one might come to this without Christianity might be the philosophy of stoicism. Doing what is virtuous by ones strength of character.

So much of Christianity is presented as packaged doctrine distinctive to a particular denomination that it makes real Christianity hard to find. Jesus said all who were of the truth would hear his voice. Here is a short article about being "of the truth";

"How to be "Of the Truth"

You may wish to start your child on a path that could be called the pursuit of truth.
 
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