RaymondG

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Is your wife employed or dependent on you for sustenance? Was she reared like the OPs spouse?

~bella
Have to think outside of the box. Maybe I was the stay at home dad and wife worked.... Or maybe she made the most money and wanted to get it separate because of that. It is no longer the case that the Male must make the most money in the house and the female either makes less or nothing at all.

Also One could give the wife a separate bank account and have half their check deposited automatically.

Point is, it doesnt matter the financial situation as long as it works well for the two involved.

And what works for one does not work for all.

A wife should be a wife period....regardless of her upbringing. Not sure how their rearing matter....unless you take into account the example set by the relationship between her two parents.

A husband should not expect to treat their wife like her father treated her.....as this is to be his wife/partner, not his child.
 
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Dave L

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Look, I know that for you it was easy like nothing. Living in the same place, knowing each other from childhood, there were no other possibilities, it was practically certain you will also marry.

But look at how it is today. People do not date on streets, but on dating apps. People travel from place to place, women study till their 28, then they build a career. Then they maybe marry someone.
You don't believe God provides for His people?
 
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RaymondG

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Birds of a feather flock together. Keep an eye out for number one and two. It usually begets the third. Will you be happy alone?

~bella
This is the problem with most new marriages. People ask another to marry them to make themselves happier, instead of asking another to marry them to partake in their current happiness.

The idea that one cannot be happy alone is a false notion. Nay, one must be at peace with and happy by themselves, before they can be happy with anyone else....
 
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bèlla

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Point is, it doesnt matter the financial situation as long as it works well for the two involved.

It appears that isn't the case in this scenario. Hence the post.

A wife should be a wife period....regardless of her upbringing. Not sure how their rearing matter....unless you take into account the example set by the relationship between her two parents.

Whatever you did or didn't get at home will show up in the marriage. Unless you tackle it before you come together.

A husband should not expect to treat their wife like her father treated her.....as this is to be his wife/partner, not his child.

Well...that's a different can of worms.

Nevertheless, it's unwise to forge alliances with others possessing qualities you can't live with. Don't get spoiled, demanding, high maintenance, or know-it-all partners if you can't stomach it. Leave them alone.

~bella
 
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bèlla

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This is the problem with most new marriages. People ask another to marry them to make themselves happier, instead of asking another to marry them to partake in their current happiness.

I agree. When you're happy you can spot the same in others and make believe too. You see the through pretense.

The idea that one cannot be happy alone is a false notion. Nay, one must be at peace with and happy by themselves, before they can be happy with anyone else....

Exactly. Contentment is wonderful. :)

~bella
 
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RaymondG

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You don't believe God provides for His people?
God gives the desires of ones heart. The person you are speaking to, desires to be single.....So God is making it seem as though good women are hard to find and there is no need in trying to get one.

You believe the opposite, that is why is appears to you that you are correct in your own mind as well.

The fact is, you are both correct as your experiences follows your desires and beliefs.

Let every man have the desires on their own heart...
 
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trophy33

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God gives the desires of ones heart. The person you are speaking to, desires to be single.....So God is making it seem as though good women are hard to find and there is no need in trying to get one.

You believe the opposite, that is why is appears to you that you are correct in your own mind as well.

The fact is, you are both correct as your experiences follows your desires and beliefs.

Let every man have the desires on their own heart...
This is also a possible way how to see things :)

But I would rather say that God changes our hearts, instead of giving us what our hearts want right now. I did not want to be single 10 years ago.

He is forming us, through experiences, to what He wants us to be.
 
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RaymondG

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This is also a possible way how to see things :)

But I would rather say that God changes our hearts, instead of giving us what our hearts want right now. I did not want to be single 10 years ago.

He is forming us, through experiences, to what He wants us to be.
Yes, God can put an idea there....but our desires, which are given to us, are shaped by our prevailing thoughts emotions and beliefs. God gives us what we actually desire.....not what we say we desire.

If ten year ago, you believed that it was hard to find a good wife.......this is the desire that was given to you......whether or not you were open to finding a partner.

"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee."
 
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Sparagmos

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She'll say I'm a hypocrite for asking a house wife to pay for anything. She was already gossiping and saying that. I appreciate all that she does as a house wife and this is the first time I've ever asked for anything. She thought paying the bill was an emergency and couldn't wait for me to get home, it would've interrupted her Netflix series. I thought getting to work on time was more important so I gave her the option to pay it if she couldn't wait.
Does she not have access to the money you make? It’s half hers.

There is a lot more going on, you really need to sit down with your wife and ask her why she is so unhappy with you (if you haven’t).
 
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RaymondG

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Does she not have access to the money you make? It’s half hers.

There is a lot more going on, you really need to sit down with your wife and ask her why she is so unhappy with you (if you haven’t).
If you have a wife that works, say as a nurse, would you demand that half the money she makes, belongs to you? I wouldnt.....I would ask for some....but would not imply that the money she works so hard for, belongs to me.
 
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bèlla

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If you have a wife that works, say as a nurse, would you demand that half the money she makes, belongs to you? I wouldnt.....I would ask for some....but would not imply that the money she works so hard for, belongs to me.

You'd be surprised what people entertain. I've encountered men who want to be in charge of all assets and a few who expected her to sign them over. Obviously, those conversations were very short.

~bella
 
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Sparagmos

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If you have a wife that works, say as a nurse, would you demand that half the money she makes, belongs to you? I wouldnt.....I would ask for some....but would not imply that the money she works so hard for, belongs to me.
That’s the law as far as I understand it, and that is generally the arrangement with stay at home parents. She is working too. I make more $$ than my husband and we share the money, I don’t expect him to live a different lifestyle!
 
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RaymondG

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That’s the law as far as I understand it, and that is generally the arrangement with stay at home parents. She is working too. I make more $$ than my husband and we share the money, I don’t expect him to live a different lifestyle!
The law is only involved in the initial signing of the agreement and when you wish to break the agreement.

We are talking above the law now. How can one watch someone else work hard and get paid for it and then say that half of the money they worked for belongs to one who didnt work for it?

Yes, of course everyone does everything together, and provide for each other.....but this is done out of love....not because the law requires it.

I would give my wife all the money I work for without thinking........That would all stop If she told me that, by law, half of everything I work for "belongs" to her. This is only something that needs to be discussed before lawyers when you are ready to break the agreement.

This is a terrible way to think, if you desire to remain in a loving relationship. I cant imagine what would possess me to tell my wife that half her check Belongs to me.
 
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