How do you trust God when He doesnt help?

Macchiato

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I understand that. :)

I had a child at a young age. My stepmother told me something I never forgot. She said people will promise you the world. They mean well. But that's your responsibility. And she was right.

Dependency is fine when you're dealing with healthy people who are loving and compassionate. Nevertheless, you can't put all your eggs in one basket. You need to build a life for you and the children. The obvious solution isn't always the best.

Use this period while they're young to lay the foundation for tomorrow. Finish school. Make it a priority. So you're not relying on a man or someone else to help you make ends meet. You need to be independent.

Meet with social services and tell them your situation. Be honest. They can help you apply for a housing voucher. If you're a full-time student you don't pay any rent. There's a loophole. Use the programs as they're intended. You can't change them. Love them and leave them in His care and move on.

~bella

I tried to do school. I cant do it while Im at home. I just cant. I called and go the start date which was oct and thats when i came home to my daughter left in her soiled diaper. The Lpn program is a year I thought i could atleast stay home for a year but after that I said no and moving is now more important. Much more. Ill just get into a cheap apt. Thats all i can do right now.

Id love to finish school but i cant stay at home. Youre right people will promise you the world. I really thought i could trust my mom until She showed me i couldnt. It took me till almost now to see i cant depend on my mom as well as my daughter's father.

I just have me and that's ok.
 
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Macchiato

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Open an on line bank account and pay money in each pay day.
On being asked for cash help give what you can from your normal bank account.
That way saving up to a quarter of your pay will quickly enable you to be able to move out.
I was thinking of this
Submit yourself under the mighty hand of God and He will exalt you in due time. If not in this life, then in the life to come.
In the meantime, people's mistreatment of us is an opportunity to show them the kindness of our Father.

I try to be kind. When my dad calls me names or makes me late to work i let him use my car. When my mom does what she does i try to be cordial.
 
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Jamdoc

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You kind of just have to see your hardships as conditioning and character building, preparing you, maybe making you a more compassionate and patient person.
It could be that (maybe not even in this life) God wants you to be responsible for something that a you that has not had negative experiences would not be able to handle.
In the Millennial Kingdom believers are going to be ruling cities, judging people, and in the next age? Judging angels.
 
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bèlla

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The Lpn program is a year I thought i could atleast stay home for a year but after that I said no and moving is now more important. Much more. Ill just get into a cheap apt. Thats all i can do right now.

Do the ADN through community college. You can enroll in a BSN completion program online and reduce your time in person. Plus you’ll have an RN and finding a job is easier. Most hospitals want a BSN. Especially magnet ones.

Make a list of hospitals with a union. That should be your first target. See if you can get a foot in the door. It doesn’t have to be health related. Most pay something towards your education.

Join allnurses if you haven’t. There’s a lot of helpful information. Including many doing the same with children. Pick their brains.

Don’t take a loan to build credit. Setup a checking and savings account at Capital One. They’ll send you an offer for a card. Apply and go from there.

Opt for digital statements! You don’t want them coming there. Make sure you use an email they don’t know about.

~bella
 
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Blade

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HI and oh bless you in JESUS Name. In my life what I have learned is we are free and God does not control us. no one does. We are free to go do anything we want and He will never condemn us. Not talking doing bad lol.

For me if GOD wanted me to do something go somewhere or stay HE will always give me a peace about it. How He works. So pray about it.. no I mean is.. I repent of any sins.. of sins I did yet didn't know asking Him to hold them not to my charge. Then I use His word on any matter I have. I then pray KNOWING He hears me.. knowing He will answer. He will always give me a peace if its of Him.

Forgive me I only know one side of this story.. but He came to give you life and give it more abundantly. The hard part yet one of the most blessed is to do this as if you were doing for Him :) Watch everything around you change. Speak words of life.. cast out fear doubt.. God has not given you the spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind. You say.. NO! I have the JOY of the lord.. praise Him when you don't feel like it. Know you put on all the amor of GOD! Know you are strong in the power of HIS Might.

You have HIS peace.. on and on.. its always Him. NO matter what let the world see JESUS in you. He is for you never against you. He loves. you
 
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Tolworth John

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I was thinking of this


I try to be kind. When my dad calls me names or makes me late to work i let him use my car. When my mom does what she does i try to be cordial.


I suggest stop filling your car up. Merely put enough in to get to work, home again and back to a filling station. That and hide the keys.
 
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public hermit

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It just makes it hard to trust God when it seems like he wants me to suffer and not be happy at all.

I think this is a perennial problem in the Christian experience. It forces us to not take circumstances into consideration as markers for God's love. Our existential situation tells us God is not good, and faith says God is good in spite of how things appear. The psalmist continually repeats the refrain regarding God's "steadfast love and faithfulness" not because everything is great but because it is true and yet the suffering seems to override any thought of God's goodness. It is similar to the cry, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me" (Other readings of that passage duly noted). But at the end of the day, there is no good reason we can pinpoint to explain what seems to us as unnecessary sorrow and suffering. Faith will never, in this world, hang on any sense of certainty. God, for reasons unknown to us, allows the rug to be pulled out from under us so that we end up trusting what we do not know, which is God.
 
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Macchiato

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I suggest stop filling your car up. Merely put enough in to get to work, home again and back to a filling station. That and hide the keys.
I camt do that i have to bc i also need to get to work and now my gas will be out again.
 
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aiki

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My home situation isnt good at all. I try my hardest in my own strength to do what i can to move. I work, i search out the apt, set money aside, but Im.now realizing i habe really toxic parents.

Im always obligated to help financially and dont have much to save and rarely get paid back.

Is it God's fault when you give money to people you know won't pay you back? Is it God's fault you have chosen to remain with your toxic parents?

Im not respected at home.

Is this God's fault? Generally, if you don't act in a way that warrants respect, you don't get it.

Not as mother or in general ( see threads-- brother threw toy at my baby and my mom let my daughter sit in poop bc she was mad at me) if i try to stand up for myself and children Im threatened with being put out.

Is there no co-op housing, or government-assisted housing you can move to? Have you researched housing options such as these in your area?

Food I buy gets eaten, everyone drives my car, i put gas in but it comes back empty my dad argued with me last week abt why he doesnt need to put gas in.

It's your car. If you don't establish inflexible boundaries for its use you shouldn't be surprised when people take advantage of its use. If your Dad won't fill the tank when he empties it, he doesn't get to use the car. Simple. It's your car; you make the rules about it. It's not God's fault if you won't do so.

Yet when I find a guy who I think would be a good partner and try to move in with him to leave my parents. God gives me warnings ...so thats not his will either.

It is sin to live with a man prior to marriage to him. God does not bless those who willfully choose to disobey Him.

Does God really want me to stay with toxic people that disrespect me on the daily bases? Why doesnt God want me to leave? Why doesnt he help me ( I do all i can to help myself such as working ect.. Then my parents sabatoge my job or something crazy like my car getting wrecked in an accident happens. I have no friends to room with..)

Maybe He's giving you an opportunity to learn to set boundaries with others in your relationships with them. Maybe He's giving you opportunity to make better choices about men than you've been making. Maybe the problem isn't on God's side of things.

It just makes it hard to trust God when it seems like he wants me to suffer and not be happy at all. Ive never got the desires of my heart even when serving God.

God didn't make you to pursue your own desires, but His. He gives you the desires of your heart when your desires reflect His. Nothing you've described in your OP suggests your heart and God's are properly aligned.

What's more, God resists those who aren't living in submission to Him every day. Until we put ourselves under His authority all the time, we are living in rebellion to Him and so He opposes us, withholding blessing until we submit to Him - sincerely - throughout every day.

James 4:2-10
2 ... You do not have, because you do not ask.
3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.
4 You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
5 Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”?
6 But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
9 Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.
10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.
 
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Macchiato

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Is it God's fault when you give money to people you know won't pay you back? Is it God's fault you have chosen to remain with your toxic parents?



Is this God's fault? Generally, if you don't act in a way that warrants respect, you don't get it.



Is there no co-op housing, or government-assisted housing you can move to? Have you researched housing options such as these in your area?



It's your car. If you don't establish inflexible boundaries for its use you shouldn't be surprised when people take advantage of its use. If your Dad won't fill the tank when he empties it, he doesn't get to use the car. Simple. It's your car; you make the rules about it. It's not God's fault if you won't do so.



It is sin to live with a man prior to marriage to him. God does not bless those who willfully choose to disobey Him.



Maybe He's giving you an opportunity to learn to set boundaries with others in your relationships with them. Maybe He's giving you opportunity to make better choices about men than you've been making. Maybe the problem isn't on God's side of things.



God didn't make you to pursue your own desires, but His. He gives you the desires of your heart when your desires reflect His. Nothing you've described in your OP suggests your heart and God's are properly aligned.

What's more, God resists those who aren't living in submission to Him every day. Until we put ourselves under His authority all the time, we are living in rebellion to Him and so He opposes us, withholding blessing until we submit to Him - sincerely - throughout every day.

James 4:2-10
2 ... You do not have, because you do not ask.
3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.
4 You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
5 Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”?
6 But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
9 Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.
10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.
So much is wrong with all of this. Stop assuming im.not doing anything. Ive search gov housing theyre all on waitlists and closed. As for acting in a way that warrants respect-- should i treat my parents the way they treat me bc im not rude towards them.

Again i made boundaries my dad started arguing with me. Now what should i do? Cuss him out?will that make him respect me?

All that will lead to is me being thrown out not smart at all.

I tried to move earlier. My son got sick with what Drs thought was cancer then my car was wrecked.

My lord have some sort of empathy. All youre doing is arguing.
 
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Tavernier

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Does God really want me to stay with toxic people that disrespect me on the daily bases? Why doesnt God want me to leave? Why doesnt he help me ( I do all i can to help myself such as working ect.. Then my parents sabatoge my job or something crazy like my car getting wrecked in an accident happens. I have no friends to room with..)

It just makes it hard to trust God when it seems like he wants me to suffer and not be happy at all. Ive never got the desires of my heart even when serving God. I never got friends that stick closer than a brother. Someone that isnt messed up or as toxic as my parents to love and be loved by. Im not asking for a million dollars just simple things and now I just want to get away from my parents.

Im working and trying to save but it seems fruitless.
I prayerfully hope this helps:

Many people in the bible have struggled with the very same questions you're struggling with right now. Perhaps the most obvious is Job, or maybe Joseph - but another is Habakkuk, who genuinely struggled with God's decision to punish Israel's persistent rebellion with a thoroughly evil nation. He didn't understand how God could allow such pain and misery to His people. But Habakkuk had something going for him that, despite all the pain and suffering Israel was about to have to endure, enabled him nevertheless to rejoice - Habakkuk knew who God was; he knew His sovereignty, His utter goodness, His love, and above all - His faithfulness to His people. GOD NEVER LETS HIS PEOPLE DOWN.

Hab 3:16ff - I heard and my inward parts trembled,
At the sound my lips quivered.
Decay enters my bones,
And in my place I tremble.
Because I must wait quietly for the day of distress,
For the people to arise who will invade us.
Though the fig tree should not blossom
And there be no fruit on the vines,
Though the yield of the olive should fail
And the fields produce no food,
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
And there be no cattle in the stalls
,
Yet I will exult in the Lord,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength,

And He has made my feet like hinds’ feet,
And makes me walk on my high places.


Job 1:9ff - “Does Job fear God for nothing? Have You not made a hedge about him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But put forth Your hand now and touch all that he has; he will surely curse You to Your face.”

What is satan's lie to us? That God is not worthy of our fealty unless He makes our lives perfectly secure and safe and blessed with every good thing. That's satan's lie - and what a whopper it is!

Consider Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego as they were about to die for not bowing down to the king's idol: “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to give you an answer concerning this matter. If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” (Dan 3:16ff) Whether God rescued them from the furnace or not, these three young men knew God was worthy of their loyalty, even unto death.

Jesus struggled mightily in the garden on the eve of the most heinous, the most unfair, the most appalling injustice any individual would ever have to endure! But what was His response? "Thy will be done!" Jesus knew His Father was worthy of His absolute obedience and trust.

But we struggle (I know I do) with difficulties here on earth - and admittedly, some of them seemingly impossible to handle, either in magnitude or painful longevity; sometimes both. We must ask ourselves if our struggles here, whatever they may be, are proof that God is somehow not worthy of our trust and loyalty. It boils down to who we believe God is, and I suspect that's by [His] design.

The three sins of Adam and Eve (Gen 3:6) were biological lust, emotional lust, and intellectual lust. John said as much: "For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh (the tree was good for food) and the lust of the eyes (the fruit was a delight to the eyes) and the boastful pride of life (and it was desirable to make one wise), is not from the Father, but is from the world. The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever." (I Jn 2:16f). Adam and Eve were totally provided for. God had seen to their every need. But they wanted something more; they wanted to be like Him, in charge themselves, self-sufficient. They wanted their security to come from within, not without, from themselves, not God.

"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation." (I Peter 4:12f)

God is worthy of our loyalty and trust - because God is who He is. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Hang in there. Trust in Him - for who and what He is. :thumbsup:
 
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aiki

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So much is wrong with all of this. Stop assuming im.not doing anything. Ive search gov housing theyre all on waitlists and closed. As for acting in a way that warrants respect-- should i treat my parents the way they treat me bc im not rude towards them.

Again i made boundaries my dad started arguing with me. Now what should i do? Cuss him out?will that make him respect me?

All that will lead to is me being thrown out not smart at all.

I tried to move earlier. My son got sick with what Drs thought was cancer then my car was wrecked.

My lord have some sort of empathy. All youre doing is arguing.

Not arguing; asking questions and making observations. I'm not going to join you in blaming God and you shouldn't expect any believer to do so. Your problems are never God's fault.
 
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Macchiato

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Not arguing; asking questions and making observations. I'm not going to join you in blaming God and you shouldn't expect any believer to do so. Your problems are never God's fault.
Im not in a good space mentally your advice isnt helpful at all. Please refrain from replying right now. Thank You.
 
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Godbehonored

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Could u guys keep me in your prayers. I broke up eith my bf again and it truly wasnt easy bc i felt like he loved me more than my family.

I feel sick.

You are not alone in your sufferings. Many of us first generation Christians have struggled with our own family members and been hurt badly by them. I struggled with my family for almost a decade before God shifted the spiritual atmosphere from a spiritually oppressive to a peaceful one.

God is much more sympathetic to your situation than any of us can show on here. The death of His Son Jesus for you is the evidence of that. Don’t let life circumstances affect your belief in this fact.

The ungodly attitude your family members are showing you is because of Satan. He persecutes God’s people through close relationships, so be very careful who you allow into your life. If your parents are atheistic or worship other false gods, Satan will stir up irrational anger and hatred in them towards you and your faith. Persecution of God’s people has never stopped, you are one of the many written in the Bible who had to face bad treatment because of your faith. This is actually something to be rejoiced, because persecution is the mark of true faith.

This is not going to change overnight, but if you pray for the salvation of those who are ill-treating you and choose to forgive them, God will work behind the scenes to remove the satanic influences overshadowing their attitudes towards you. That was what happened to me. My father actually told me that there were dark shadows (most definitely demonic forces) influencing him when he was persecuting me for my faith, even when he was atheistic.

Whether your parents will be saved depends also on whether they will yield to God’s influence, but He will provide a way out of your persecution eventually if you don’t give up.
 
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Joined2krist

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My observation is you sound like Job’s friends who were condemning Job all day long for questioning God about his senseless suffering, and God said his friends needed to repent.


Not really, i think otherwise. The OP raised some questions which he/she responded to based on scriptures e.g. moving in with a man she isn't married to. It's quite hard to pass an opposing response across without seeming harsh but we know he/she responded based on love. I think if the OP simply requests for prayers it would be best, no need to blame God for decisions we make(this may offend other believers) but we can get solutions
through prayers. God bless

My observation is you sound like Job’s friends who were condemning Job all day long for questioning God about his senseless suffering, and God said his friends needed to repent.
 
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Godbehonored

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Not really, i think otherwise. The OP raised some questions which he/she responded to based on scriptures e.g. moving in with a man she isn't married to. It's quite hard to pass an opposing response across without seeming harsh but we know he/she responded based on love. I think if the OP simply requests for prayers it would be best, no need to blame God for decisions we make(this may offend other believers) but we can get solutions
through prayers. God bless

I read the OP’s post too, and I don’t see a God blaming attitude anywhere in there. The OP is confused and shaken in faith because the situation is not getting better, and wonders why God is silent, a perfectly reasonable response in abuse victims. Where then is the love and sympathy? Is not offending you more important than the OP’s need for encouragement?

If blaming God is an offense to believers, the book of Job is full of such offences. Did you not read that Job even asked God if it pleases Him to oppress him? (Job 10:3) Job was questioning God’s justice and righteousness, and the entire time he ascribed his suffering to God. His friends on the other hand, spoke up for God and condemned Job for his God-blaming. Yet God said his friends were the ones who were wrong and in need of repentance.
 
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Macchiato

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I read the OP’s post too, and I don’t see a God blaming attitude anywhere in there. The OP is confused and shaken in faith because the situation is not getting better, and wonders why God is silent, a perfectly reasonable response in abuse victims. Where then is the love and sympathy? Is not offending you more important than the OP’s need for encouragement?

If blaming God is an offense to believers, the book of Job is full of such offences. Did you not read that Job even asked God if it pleases Him to oppress him? (Job 10:3) Job was questioning God’s justice and righteousness, and the entire time he ascribed his suffering to God. His friends on the other hand, spoke up for God and condemned Job for his God-blaming. Yet God said his friends were the ones who were wrong and in need of repentance.
Thank you. Im not blaming God at all. I kno. Good portion if this is my fault. Im just asking where is God now. Thats all. Im just not going to share my issues here anymore. I do it bc i genuinely have no one else to talk to but i know better now.
 
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Macchiato

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Not really, i think otherwise. The OP raised some questions which he/she responded to based on scriptures e.g. moving in with a man she isn't married to. It's quite hard to pass an opposing response across without seeming harsh but we know he/she responded based on love. I think if the OP simply requests for prayers it would be best, no need to blame God for decisions we make(this may offend other believers) but we can get solutions
through prayers. God bless

Im not moving in with him. I let him go and tht was so hrd to do bc he showed more care and concern than my parents and im back at square 1. Im.not blaming God. I know the decisions I made but Im just asking for help that's all.
 
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