- Oct 13, 2020
- 106
- 159
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
- Politics
- US-Republican
My now 13 year old son has become a different person since his mom and I split up and then divorced a couple of years ago. He's getting into things that's worrying me. It started with marijuana. His mom found it in his room. He had stolen it from a friend's parents (legal state). We scolded him and grounded him, but how well it was implemented at his mom's house is unknown to me.
Then I got a call that he was found with a nicotine vape pen. He said he had found it in a park, but we soon learned that he had gotten it from a friend at school. Again he was scolded and grounded.
Next, just a month ago, I had him for the weekend. We were staying in a hotel to get a boat to spend the day on the lake with some friends and my fiance the following day. I had brought a third of a bottle of bourbon to make some whiskey sours. When we were packing the cooler we discovered that there was only a shot of bourbon left. My fiance was the only other one in our room and she doesn't drink whiskey. He had been up in the middle of the night. I thought he was being sneaky, but sneaky for what didn't make sense to me, and I certainly didn't think he was drinking, so I brushed it off and went back to sleep. He of course denied drinking it, but we're not stupid and he was the only explanation.
And now I've got custody of him. He's been living with me for nearly two weeks now. The other night my fiance said his room smelled like cigarette smoke. I went in there and sure enough, it did. He came clean, but he didn't tell me where he had gotten them. I told him the dangers and stupidity of smoking and he said he wouldn't do it again and didn't have any more. Well sure enough my fiance woke me up at 4am and told me that he was being sneaky and kept checking to see if we were sleeping before he snuck outside. I looked out the window and there he was with a lit cigarette.
I'm at a loss. I know he struggled and continues to struggle with the divorce. His mom chose a different man over us. Her adultery, change in attitude, and who she has become has been difficult, more so for him. I don't want to be too hard on him, but with school starting soon I'm scared. He's going to be attending a school much larger than anything he's ever attended before. I worry that he's going encounter bad kids and real drugs and be more than willing to give them a go.
I'm a Christian, he's supposed to be a Christian, but telling him how God feels at the age of 13, on the track that he's on, having gone through what he's going through, goes in one ear and out the other. He's at the age where God and church is boring and the invisible guy in the sky so to speak doesn't mean to him what it will mean to him once he's older and past this stage that most kids go through.
Then I got a call that he was found with a nicotine vape pen. He said he had found it in a park, but we soon learned that he had gotten it from a friend at school. Again he was scolded and grounded.
Next, just a month ago, I had him for the weekend. We were staying in a hotel to get a boat to spend the day on the lake with some friends and my fiance the following day. I had brought a third of a bottle of bourbon to make some whiskey sours. When we were packing the cooler we discovered that there was only a shot of bourbon left. My fiance was the only other one in our room and she doesn't drink whiskey. He had been up in the middle of the night. I thought he was being sneaky, but sneaky for what didn't make sense to me, and I certainly didn't think he was drinking, so I brushed it off and went back to sleep. He of course denied drinking it, but we're not stupid and he was the only explanation.
And now I've got custody of him. He's been living with me for nearly two weeks now. The other night my fiance said his room smelled like cigarette smoke. I went in there and sure enough, it did. He came clean, but he didn't tell me where he had gotten them. I told him the dangers and stupidity of smoking and he said he wouldn't do it again and didn't have any more. Well sure enough my fiance woke me up at 4am and told me that he was being sneaky and kept checking to see if we were sleeping before he snuck outside. I looked out the window and there he was with a lit cigarette.
I'm at a loss. I know he struggled and continues to struggle with the divorce. His mom chose a different man over us. Her adultery, change in attitude, and who she has become has been difficult, more so for him. I don't want to be too hard on him, but with school starting soon I'm scared. He's going to be attending a school much larger than anything he's ever attended before. I worry that he's going encounter bad kids and real drugs and be more than willing to give them a go.
I'm a Christian, he's supposed to be a Christian, but telling him how God feels at the age of 13, on the track that he's on, having gone through what he's going through, goes in one ear and out the other. He's at the age where God and church is boring and the invisible guy in the sky so to speak doesn't mean to him what it will mean to him once he's older and past this stage that most kids go through.