How do I take a stand against homosexuality when I'm a hypocrite?

grandvizier1006 · Jul 2, 2021

Another June has come and gone, and with it the recent designation of "Pride month", where all the corporations change their logos to rainbow colors to try and pander to gay people (and at this point most people aren't interested in fake pandering). But the month does serve as a time to be endlessly reminded by secular media that gay people exist and had enough social and market influence to make June "their month".

It all makes me uncomfortable, as someone who struggles with same-sex attractions and would be considered "bisexual" by their definition, but I don't like labels like that because they aren't what God wants for His people. I try to be a good Christian, but between my mental health issues and my inappropriate content addiction--sometimes I look for men, other times women, it switches sometimes, a phenomenon known as "bicycling" among bisexuals, and as much as I dislike the labelling it describes how I feel sometimes--I feel like I just need to be silent during all of this and not waste time engaging in the "cultural war" that we Christians essentially lost by running out of manpower.

At the same time, I don't want to give up my beliefs. I don't want them changed due to social pressure. And I certainly don't want my fickle, unreliable brain (I have OCD and Asperger's) to make me change my mind in a time of emotional vulnerability and weakness. I used to be very afraid of atheists finding out my attractions and trying to convince me to be as they've been taught the culture wants me to be. But I've been out in the world more and I realize now that people aren't so eager to do that.

That being said, I feel like I can't really admit to anyone, "I believe marriage is between a man and a woman, despite my same-sex attractions", and not be looked at as someone who's been brainwashed by right-wing evangelical fundamentalists. I have "evangelical" beliefs, but I'm not right-wing anymore and I'm certainly no fundamentalist. I just know what Scripture says and I try to follow Jesus' teachings on this issue. I've found more love from Jesus than I have from the world.

I don't know if there will ever come a time when I have to really admit to my beliefs, but if there does I want to be strong after someone who knows me well accuses me of hypocrisy due to my inappropriate content habits, even if I manage to get them under control. Maybe I care too much about my reputation, but I'd like to at least be a good witness.

Any advice and encouragement would be helpful. Also, homosexuality isn't allowed to be promoted here, but if you endorse homosexuality please don't private message me your "affirming" theology. I reject it. I don't want to be "affirmed", I'd rather be convicted and brought to repentance. My SSA is something I struggle with but it's not meant to be a part of me--it's just something that kind of happened based on complex circumstances.

bèlla · Jul 2, 2021

I think you’ll find many with similar struggles wrestle with the same. Acknowledging the truth doesn’t make you a hypocrite. It demonstrates your willingness to stand against your flesh in deference to God.

It’s easy to state a position when you aren’t grappling with the problem and another to face it head on. Keep up the good work.

~bella

Albion · Jul 2, 2021

Hi, GV.

One question is this: "Why do you have to analyze yourself to other people?" Do they constantly ask if you're gay or straight or bi or trans or whatever?

If not, I'd say to stop worrying about this aspect of your problem...and that means, of course, not volunteering any confessions to friends, even when the discussion topic turns to sex.

That also goes for talking about inappropriate content. If someone were to call you a hypocrite on that account, just give the minimum of an answer such as "Yeh, that was a bad habit. Curiosity can do that" or something else in that vein.

In my experience, other people rarely do that in casual conversation, so don't you feel like you're under some obligation to spill your guts if talk does turn in that direction.

grandvizier1006 · Jul 2, 2021

bèlla said:
I think you’ll find many with similar struggles wrestle with the same. Acknowledging the truth doesn’t make you a hypocrite. It demonstrates your willingness to stand against your flesh in deference to God.

It’s easy to state a position when you aren’t grappling with the problem and another to face it head on. Keep up the good work.

~bella

Thanks. I don't feel like I'm doing much good work, though. I just feel like another sinner who says he's loyal to God but "cheats" on Him all the time for perishable things.

Dave G. · Jul 2, 2021

Breaking inappropriate content addiction is easy. Don't turn it on. Your conviction you seem to indicate as being in Christ. Every time you have an urge for inappropriate content think of Him. Homosexuals, pedophiles and sexual perverts who stay active have no place in heaven according to Jesus' own word. Through Him you are given the tools to be set free not to actively live in these sins. This means self control by His help, to which without Him you were both unwilling and powerless. You may have urges don't act on them. Don't waste time pondering it but act on it using the sword of His word.

Ignatius the Kiwi · Jul 2, 2021

We're all hypocrites, but the thing is, at least some of us (like you OP) have the humility to recognize it and work through our sins. It's a life long process and all we can do is keep on getting on with the task at hand.

When taking a stand against anything you should determine whether or not it is going to be beneficial to do so. Taking a public stance against Homosexuality in modern culture is not advisable, only when confronted should we do so and if you are confronted about it, point out that you have SSA. What would they then say? They can't call you a bigot. At most they can call you a fool and what's wrong with being a fool for Christ?

For average Christians against Homosexuality it would be more beneficial that if in the course of establishing good relationships with people, and they find out this opinion of ours, they would understand it's not out of hateful bigotry that we hold our beliefs. That would destroy so much of the LGBT narrative which relies on notions of homophobia to give itself power. Those sorts of micro interactions in culture can have a ripple effect and even if Christianity has lost for now, we shouldn't think that will always be the case. Movements come and go and ideas that were thought great yesterday are gone tomorrow.

There's this gay guy I know at work. I sit with him, talk to him during lunches at our group. I never bring up the topic of homosexuality because I don't want to cause a needless controversy. If the topic did come up and I was forced into speaking about it, I would be frank about my opinion. I would hope he would realize I don't hold it out of malice. He knows I'm a Christian and a conservative one at that, but I'm content to leave it at that casual level for now.

Bottom-line, don't think of yourself as needing to be a public advocate for Christianity, at least on the LGBT stuff. Just do your best, working on your sin and becoming a better Christian. That's more important in the long run.

grandvizier1006 · Jul 2, 2021

Ignatius the Kiwi said:
We're all hypocrites, but the thing is, at least some of us (like you OP) have the humility to recognize it and work through our sins. It's a life long process and all we can do is keep on getting on with the task at hand.

When taking a stand against anything you should determine whether or not it is going to be beneficial to do so. Taking a public stance against Homosexuality in modern culture is not advisable, only when confronted should we do so and if you are confronted about it, point out that you have SSA. What would they then say? They can't call you a bigot. At most they can call you a fool and what's wrong with being a fool for Christ?

For average Christians against Homosexuality it would be more beneficial that if in the course of establishing good relationships with people, and they find out this opinion of ours, they would understand it's not out of hateful bigotry that we hold our beliefs. That would destroy so much of the LGBT narrative which relies on notions of homophobia to give itself power. Those sorts of micro interactions in culture can have a ripple effect and even if Christianity has lost for now, we shouldn't think that will always be the case. Movements come and go and ideas that were thought great yesterday are gone tomorrow.

There's this gay guy I know at work. I sit with him, talk to him during lunches at our group. I never bring up the topic of homosexuality because I don't want to cause a needless controversy. If the topic did come up and I was forced into speaking about it, I would be frank about my opinion. I would hope he would realize I don't hold it out of malice. He knows I'm a Christian and a conservative one at that, but I'm content to leave it at that casual level for now.

Bottom-line, don't think of yourself as needing to be a public advocate for Christianity, at least on the LGBT stuff. Just do your best, working on your sin and becoming a better Christian. That's more important in the long run.

Thanks. I would have thought people in my situation were hated more. Usually anyone who has misgivings about homosexuality is referred to as “internalized homophobia”. Unfortunately there are a lot of times where I do hate myself for what I struggle with because I see myself as having to fight alone. But I’d hope you’re correct and that people vocally against Christianity would be intrigued by my life experiences.

Dave G. · Jul 2, 2021

It's not even out of us, it's out of scripture and we have come to agree. A fool fights against the word of God. That doesn't end well.

bèlla · Jul 2, 2021

grandvizier1006 said:
Thanks. I don't feel like I'm doing much good work, though. I just feel like another sinner who says he's loyal to God but "cheats" on Him all the time for perishable things.

You don’t have to fight at all. You could pardon the behavior or make excuses. Playing offense against yourself is hard.

The problem with sexual challenges is two-fold. You can’t forget what you know. You can choose not to feed the thoughts. But the knowledge remains. And it’s a hidden sin. No one knows what you’re doing unless you tell them.

In respect to inappropriate content, you can’t control the line. You rely on others for stimulation. It keeps moving and sears your mind. The unthinkable becomes pleasurable after awhile.

This comes back to susceptibility. You have to recognize your weaknesses and triggers. Self-control is a fruit of the spirit and a positive trait to reinforce. Its the road to denial.

You have the first part in place. You recognize the behavior is wrong. Now you have to dial up your resistance. If you keep pushing you’ll get there.

~bella

Sketcher · Jul 2, 2021

grandvizier1006 said:
Another June has come and gone, and with it the recent designation of "Pride month", where all the corporations change their logos to rainbow colors to try and pander to gay people (and at this point most people aren't interested in fake pandering). But the month does serve as a time to be endlessly reminded by secular media that gay people exist and had enough social and market influence to make June "their month".

It all makes me uncomfortable, as someone who struggles with same-sex attractions and would be considered "bisexual" by their definition, but I don't like labels like that because they aren't what God wants for His people. I try to be a good Christian, but between my mental health issues and my inappropriate content addiction--sometimes I look for men, other times women, it switches sometimes, a phenomenon known as "bicycling" among bisexuals, and as much as I dislike the labelling it describes how I feel sometimes--I feel like I just need to be silent during all of this and not waste time engaging in the "cultural war" that we Christians essentially lost by running out of manpower.

At the same time, I don't want to give up my beliefs. I don't want them changed due to social pressure. And I certainly don't want my fickle, unreliable brain (I have OCD and Asperger's) to make me change my mind in a time of emotional vulnerability and weakness. I used to be very afraid of atheists finding out my attractions and trying to convince me to be as they've been taught the culture wants me to be. But I've been out in the world more and I realize now that people aren't so eager to do that.

That being said, I feel like I can't really admit to anyone, "I believe marriage is between a man and a woman, despite my same-sex attractions", and not be looked at as someone who's been brainwashed by right-wing evangelical fundamentalists. I have "evangelical" beliefs, but I'm not right-wing anymore and I'm certainly no fundamentalist. I just know what Scripture says and I try to follow Jesus' teachings on this issue. I've found more love from Jesus than I have from the world.

I don't know if there will ever come a time when I have to really admit to my beliefs, but if there does I want to be strong after someone who knows me well accuses me of hypocrisy due to my inappropriate content habits, even if I manage to get them under control. Maybe I care too much about my reputation, but I'd like to at least be a good witness.

Any advice and encouragement would be helpful. Also, homosexuality isn't allowed to be promoted here, but if you endorse homosexuality please don't private message me your "affirming" theology. I reject it. I don't want to be "affirmed", I'd rather be convicted and brought to repentance. My SSA is something I struggle with but it's not meant to be a part of me--it's just something that kind of happened based on complex circumstances.

I don't consider you a hypocrite if you're not getting involved with people of the same sex for either casual encounters or romantic relationships.

When you come out, and whom you come out to is a very personal decision, because it's your reputation at stake. I therefore recommend only coming out to people that you can rightfully trust to keep a secret.

I feel that you actually can be in a very good position to take your stand, once you know how to publicly take it. You're tempted both ways, you know what the word of God says, and even though it is hard, you do your best to obey it. You know how hard the right choice is to make, and you do your best to make it. You can lead by example. Not only that, when you obey you are being unselfish. Doing the hard thing, because it's the right thing for unselfish reasons - that's manly and worthy of respect.

grandvizier1006 · Jul 2, 2021

Sketcher said:
I don't consider you a hypocrite if you're not getting involved with people of the same sex for either casual encounters or romantic relationships.

When you come out, and whom you come out to is a very personal decision, because it's your reputation at stake. I therefore recommend only coming out to people that you can rightfully trust to keep a secret.

I feel that you actually can be in a very good position to take your stand, once you know how to publicly take it. You're tempted both ways, you know what the word of God says, and even though it is hard, you do your best to obey it. You know how hard the right choice is to make, and you do your best to make it. You can lead by example. Not only that, when you obey you are being unselfish. Doing the hard thing, because it's the right thing for unselfish reasons - that's manly and worthy of respect.

Thank you! I’ve told a few people, all Christians.

PloverWing · Jul 2, 2021

I agree with Albion here: Your sexuality is nobody else's business. You may choose to confide in people, but you're under no obligation to do so. It's an unusually nosy thing for anyone to ask about, and if they do, feel free to say "that's private".

The charge of hypocrisy would only apply if you're verbally harassing people for committing the same sins you commit. So, don't harass other people. (Jesus tells us not to, after all). Quietly live in accordance with your convictions, as best as you can, and be kind to other people as they imperfectly live out their own convictions.

Hazelelponi · Jul 2, 2021

grandvizier1006 said:
Another June has come and gone, and with it the recent designation of "Pride month", where all the corporations change their logos to rainbow colors to try and pander to gay people (and at this point most people aren't interested in fake pandering). But the month does serve as a time to be endlessly reminded by secular media that gay people exist and had enough social and market influence to make June "their month".

It all makes me uncomfortable, as someone who struggles with same-sex attractions and would be considered "bisexual" by their definition, but I don't like labels like that because they aren't what God wants for His people. I try to be a good Christian, but between my mental health issues and my inappropriate content addiction--sometimes I look for men, other times women, it switches sometimes, a phenomenon known as "bicycling" among bisexuals, and as much as I dislike the labelling it describes how I feel sometimes--I feel like I just need to be silent during all of this and not waste time engaging in the "cultural war" that we Christians essentially lost by running out of manpower.

At the same time, I don't want to give up my beliefs. I don't want them changed due to social pressure. And I certainly don't want my fickle, unreliable brain (I have OCD and Asperger's) to make me change my mind in a time of emotional vulnerability and weakness. I used to be very afraid of atheists finding out my attractions and trying to convince me to be as they've been taught the culture wants me to be. But I've been out in the world more and I realize now that people aren't so eager to do that.

That being said, I feel like I can't really admit to anyone, "I believe marriage is between a man and a woman, despite my same-sex attractions", and not be looked at as someone who's been brainwashed by right-wing evangelical fundamentalists. I have "evangelical" beliefs, but I'm not right-wing anymore and I'm certainly no fundamentalist. I just know what Scripture says and I try to follow Jesus' teachings on this issue. I've found more love from Jesus than I have from the world.

I don't know if there will ever come a time when I have to really admit to my beliefs, but if there does I want to be strong after someone who knows me well accuses me of hypocrisy due to my inappropriate content habits, even if I manage to get them under control. Maybe I care too much about my reputation, but I'd like to at least be a good witness.

Any advice and encouragement would be helpful. Also, homosexuality isn't allowed to be promoted here, but if you endorse homosexuality please don't private message me your "affirming" theology. I reject it. I don't want to be "affirmed", I'd rather be convicted and brought to repentance. My SSA is something I struggle with but it's not meant to be a part of me--it's just something that kind of happened based on complex circumstances.

We are Christian because we have faith in Christs work for our ultimate salvation - not because of any great deed we have done. He doesn't "pick us" because we are better than the world, no. Scripture tells us we were saved "when we were dead in our sins and trespasses". Dead is dead.

However - to His credit He saved us anyway. We love HIM enough after being saved to desire a life pleasing to God, which is never going to look like what is pleasing to that same world. And it's not always going to be easy.

If we say "I believe" God says x, y, or z about something - even though you may struggle on occasion in that area it doesn't change the sentence structure of "I believe", or "Scripture teaches". Are you sitting in judgement when you say those words? No... you're passing along one aspect of your faith, sharing it with others you're close to.

So we end up looking like fanatics, who cares? They are at enmity with God, of course we look a little nuts to them when we believe these things true and follow them despite our struggles. But God sees it as our love for Him... and it's how God views it that matters.

As far as discussing whether we believe homosexuality is a sin or not, I think that's a more intimate matter, and as such, belongs in specific contexts. I wouldn't just blurt out that's a sin for little reason, unless the topic of conversation was directly related to faith. However, if people around you are speaking of it in a secular manner, it is absolutely appropriate to tell others the conversation makes you uncomfortable because of your deeply held beliefs, and ask for a change of topic. When speaking to actual freinds, they will understand.

If they don't understand or want to argue, find new freinds because those people aren't your freind.

Greengardener · Jul 2, 2021

I tend to agree with Bella and Albion on this. Here's why. There is an enemy who really wants to keep us enslaved. You presently recognize the error of taking that path (whatever the sin/addiction is) and want to NOT go that way but also fight with thinking you really WANT to go that way. You might experience sudden freedom, or you might have to keep leaning or struggling in the right direction to gain the traction you need for the glimpse of freedom you see. Why add fuel to the enemy's fire by having all kinds of social memories out there from things you disclosed to people? It probably won't be helpful at all. It might be better to develop a set of deterring comments like Albion suggested to keep you out of conversations about whatever the sin/addiction is just to keep from feeding it in your own mind. In the long run, what others do is of no consequence, but you've got a race to run and it might be easier without the weights. I too want to commend you and encourage you to keep running the race. Feed your soul with the good word of your loving Father and trust that He means what He said for our good.

Aabbie James · Jul 2, 2021

grandvizier1006 said:
How do I take a stand against homosexuality when I'm a hypocrite?

If you haven't yet, then Make Jesus Your All in All <<-- This is a post from I'll Be Honest dot com on April 27, 2020. I'll Be Honest is a Paul Washer ministry from the Grace Community Church in San Antonio, Texas.

The same post also refers to the documentary "Sing Over Me" which can be viewed freely at TubiTV. The documentary is about Christian songwriter Dennis Jernigan, whose hits include “You Are My All in All,” which discusses how faith helped his struggle with homosexuality.

com7fy8 · Jul 2, 2021

grandvizier1006 said:
I've found more love from Jesus than I have from the world.

Trust God to prove Himself with you.

grandvizier1006 said:
I don't know if there will ever come a time when I have to really admit to my beliefs, but if there does I want to be strong after someone who knows me well accuses me of hypocrisy due to my inappropriate content habits, even if I manage to get them under control. Maybe I care too much about my reputation, but I'd like to at least be a good witness.

What matters is how we are in the sight of God.

We do need to become good examples . . . not only what we show and tell, but how we become and live in the sight of God.

Joy · Jul 3, 2021

MOD HAT ON

This Thread has Moved
From Requests for Christian Advice
To Struggles with Sexuality

MOD HAT OFF

Religiot · Jul 3, 2021

grandvizier1006 said:
Another June has come and gone, and with it the recent designation of "Pride month", where all the corporations change their logos to rainbow colors to try and pander to gay people (and at this point most people aren't interested in fake pandering). But the month does serve as a time to be endlessly reminded by secular media that gay people exist and had enough social and market influence to make June "their month".

It all makes me uncomfortable, as someone who struggles with same-sex attractions and would be considered "bisexual" by their definition, but I don't like labels like that because they aren't what God wants for His people. I try to be a good Christian, but between my mental health issues and my inappropriate content addiction--sometimes I look for men, other times women, it switches sometimes, a phenomenon known as "bicycling" among bisexuals, and as much as I dislike the labelling it describes how I feel sometimes--I feel like I just need to be silent during all of this and not waste time engaging in the "cultural war" that we Christians essentially lost by running out of manpower.

At the same time, I don't want to give up my beliefs. I don't want them changed due to social pressure. And I certainly don't want my fickle, unreliable brain (I have OCD and Asperger's) to make me change my mind in a time of emotional vulnerability and weakness. I used to be very afraid of atheists finding out my attractions and trying to convince me to be as they've been taught the culture wants me to be. But I've been out in the world more and I realize now that people aren't so eager to do that.

That being said, I feel like I can't really admit to anyone, "I believe marriage is between a man and a woman, despite my same-sex attractions", and not be looked at as someone who's been brainwashed by right-wing evangelical fundamentalists. I have "evangelical" beliefs, but I'm not right-wing anymore and I'm certainly no fundamentalist. I just know what Scripture says and I try to follow Jesus' teachings on this issue. I've found more love from Jesus than I have from the world.

I don't know if there will ever come a time when I have to really admit to my beliefs, but if there does I want to be strong after someone who knows me well accuses me of hypocrisy due to my inappropriate content habits, even if I manage to get them under control. Maybe I care too much about my reputation, but I'd like to at least be a good witness.

Any advice and encouragement would be helpful. Also, homosexuality isn't allowed to be promoted here, but if you endorse homosexuality please don't private message me your "affirming" theology. I reject it. I don't want to be "affirmed", I'd rather be convicted and brought to repentance. My SSA is something I struggle with but it's not meant to be a part of me--it's just something that kind of happened based on complex circumstances.

Some definitions to straighten-out how you think:

"The fear of the Lord is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate." Proverbs 8:13

"Every one that is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord: though hand join in hand, he shall not be unpunished. By mercy and truth iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the Lord men depart from evil." Proverbs 16:5-6

"Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy." --Ezekiel 16:49

"Ye that love the Lord, hate evil: he preserveth the souls of his saints; he delivereth them out of the hand of the wicked." Psalms 97:10

"I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me." --Psalms 101:3

"Through thy precepts I get understanding: therefore I hate every false way." --Psalms 119:104

"Therefore I esteem all thy precepts concerning all things to be right; and I hate every false way." --Psalms 119:128

"Hate the evil, and love the good, and establish judgment in the gate: it may be that the Lord God of hosts will be gracious unto the remnant of Joseph." --Amos 5:15

"Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good." --Romans 12:9

WE ARE ALL AT WAR, PERIOD:

"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (for the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds) casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; and having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled." --2 Corinthians 10:3-6

OBEDIENCE TO CHRIST IS NOT OPTIONAL:

"And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him." --Hebrews 5:9

--Therefore, be sure to let your hatred grow for what is evil, especially your own thoughts, otherwise, you will be preventing any love for what is right from taking root, and only your desires for what is wrong will continue--hate cannot be without love: love for what is right renders hatred for what is wrong, but love for what is wrong renders hatred for what is right, period. Amen.

EDIT: Removed the automatic emoticon that pops up when using certain punctuation marks.

EmethAlethia · Jul 4, 2021

First, we all have desires for one thing or another. I used to have a very strong desire to steal, to commit fornication with as many women as was possible, ... so what? Desire...

1Co 6:9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, 10 nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.

So, tell me which sins in that list are more heinous than the rest? That's right, they are all symptoms of the same thing. A desire not to do what God commands us to do, a desire to do what He commands us to to do, and a desire not to find out for sure what we should or should not do so that we can excuse ourselves for doing what pleases us. Yes, all three areas are sin. It is us saying to God, "Nevertheless not Your will be done, my will be done."

So are we hypocrites for sharing the truth? Nope. Are we hypocrites for saying we all have struggles, but that there is no temptation that has overcome you that is not common to man? Nope. It's the truth. And sometimes, "Wretched man that I am, I do the thing I would not do, and the thing I would do I do not do." Who can save us from this body of death/sin? Jesus did, and the fact that you are battling against the flesh is a sign that you are His as the lost have no battle.

FutureAndAHope · Jul 4, 2021

grandvizier1006 said:
Another June has come and gone, and with it the recent designation of "Pride month", where all the corporations change their logos to rainbow colors to try and pander to gay people (and at this point most people aren't interested in fake pandering). But the month does serve as a time to be endlessly reminded by secular media that gay people exist and had enough social and market influence to make June "their month".

It all makes me uncomfortable, as someone who struggles with same-sex attractions and would be considered "bisexual" by their definition, but I don't like labels like that because they aren't what God wants for His people. I try to be a good Christian, but between my mental health issues and my inappropriate content addiction--sometimes I look for men, other times women, it switches sometimes, a phenomenon known as "bicycling" among bisexuals, and as much as I dislike the labelling it describes how I feel sometimes--I feel like I just need to be silent during all of this and not waste time engaging in the "cultural war" that we Christians essentially lost by running out of manpower.

At the same time, I don't want to give up my beliefs. I don't want them changed due to social pressure. And I certainly don't want my fickle, unreliable brain (I have OCD and Asperger's) to make me change my mind in a time of emotional vulnerability and weakness. I used to be very afraid of atheists finding out my attractions and trying to convince me to be as they've been taught the culture wants me to be. But I've been out in the world more and I realize now that people aren't so eager to do that.

That being said, I feel like I can't really admit to anyone, "I believe marriage is between a man and a woman, despite my same-sex attractions", and not be looked at as someone who's been brainwashed by right-wing evangelical fundamentalists. I have "evangelical" beliefs, but I'm not right-wing anymore and I'm certainly no fundamentalist. I just know what Scripture says and I try to follow Jesus' teachings on this issue. I've found more love from Jesus than I have from the world.

I don't know if there will ever come a time when I have to really admit to my beliefs, but if there does I want to be strong after someone who knows me well accuses me of hypocrisy due to my inappropriate content habits, even if I manage to get them under control. Maybe I care too much about my reputation, but I'd like to at least be a good witness.

Any advice and encouragement would be helpful. Also, homosexuality isn't allowed to be promoted here, but if you endorse homosexuality please don't private message me your "affirming" theology. I reject it. I don't want to be "affirmed", I'd rather be convicted and brought to repentance. My SSA is something I struggle with but it's not meant to be a part of me--it's just something that kind of happened based on complex circumstances.

There is a war that goes on between the Spirit of God, and the flesh. At the moment your flesh seems to be winning, but it need not be that way.

Jesus said: Mark 14:38 Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak.

The bible is full of quotes that point to the truth of Jesus' words, there is a battle between the flesh and the Spirit. If we don't feed the Spirit, through seeking God diligently our flesh will win. As we seek God in prayer the Holy Spirit fills us with strength. It is often not a feeling, or a felt power, just inner resolve. We need to work with God, to be forceful about removing sin from our lives. The bible tells us to resist the devil and he will flee from us. Resistance is a war a fight. We may be tempted to do wrong, but we need to be forceful, to fight as if our life depended upon it.

Don't let your inappropriate content habit remain in your life, fight it off, and pray diligently. In doing so you will move away from hell's grasp, and GOd will bless you in the process.

Job 36:10-11 He openeth also their ear to discipline, and commandeth that they return from iniquity. If they obey and serve him, they shall spend their days in prosperity, and their years in pleasures.

How do I take a stand against homosexuality when I'm a hypocrite?

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Born Imperishable

I don't use this anymore, but I still follow Jesus

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Maintain love and truth in perfect balance

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