I lost my faith because:

Hello: @Xlembonis

The only way to learn about God and Jesus Christ is to read the bible and see what they have to say. I would suggest reading it and also understanding that it was a period Jesus Christ talking to his disciples and telling them what to do back then and they went and did it. I can not sit here and try to explain to you what you should do or anything because the choice is your own personal responsibility whether or not you are going to go and see what the bible has to say about anything.

Xlembonis said:

I lost faith because Christianity does not make sense to me anymore. I cant understand why God created us, gave us free will but also gave rules that make it impossible to make it to heaven and on the same time, give us the way to heaven through faith.

Click to expand...

I hated God even after I got saved. This is because the traditional view of God does not explain why He created such a nasty world. Eventually I had to revise the traditional view for myself. The obvious solution is that God made this kind of world because He felt He had no choice - abstaining was NOT an option. I can provide you some links if you want to know more. However, what I find, unfortunately, is that people who ask for help don't really want it. I met a Christian girl who hated God, and it even drove her to a suicide attempt. When I offered her a revised view of God, she didn't really want to know more.

When it comes to faith, isn't natural for some people not to have faith or have faith elsewhere? There are many religions and I cant blame people for having a different religion.

Click to expand...

In my revised view, Adam's soul was a physical soul, and each of us is a tiny fragment/piece of his original soul. Thus we are all born in original sin. YOU sinned in the garden even though you don't remember doing it. YOU are Adam. Therefore God doesn't owe salvation to any of us.

Secondly, the Inward Witness of the Holy Spirit is what convinces/convicts us of the true religion. That's the only way to know the true religion. If a person in some obscure region of the world (never heard the gospel), submits to the God-of-conscience (as revealed in nature - Romans 1:18-20) - a partial picture of God - they will receive the Inward Witness of the Holy Spirit. They are saved. They might not know about Christianity at that point but they already know Jesus (by knowing the Holy Spirit). And if the gospel is ever preached to them, the Inward Witness will confirm that Christianity is the true religion.

So it doesn't matter what region of the world you live in - you will be saved if you are sincere. The truth, as Rom 1:18 suggests, is that most people are NOT sincerely seeking the God-of-conscience.

Xlembonis said:

but what if the Bible is not telling the truth? it may tell some nice things but still, i cant know if it is the truth

Click to expand...

I don't care what anybody says, I firmly believe that the bible was intended to be interpreted on multiple different levels. The verses *to me* are written in such a timeless way that they can mean one thing when you're 19 and something completely different at 29. And I actually think it pays to read with an open mind and study whatever confuses you.

CLEARLY you care. So use this time now to go down the academic route instead of clinging to arbitrary emotions. Sometimes, the absolute worst thing anyone can do is wait for a feeling to 'hit them' or ask for signs; because I feel you're just leaving the door open to be mislead by your own desire to "get somewhere."

Take your time on this. Don't look for the easy way out. Logic beats OCD every single time.

Hi Xlembonis,

I am guessing this is a very destabilizing time for you. It's very difficult when you realize that you have fundamental doubts about what you have always believed. Add OCD to the mix, and you're dealing with a lot.
So just as a source of encouragement, I wanted to let you know that I went through similar doubts beginning about 5 years ago. And it has been quite challenging, but it has led me into a much richer faith than I had had. Jesus said " Seek and you shall find.". I believe he intends us to continue to seek - to ask real questions and seeks their answers- our whole life. Seeking isn't just for non-Christians.

The question you have raised are central. I believe that this way of understanding Christianity is a misunderstanding. It's not that he gives us a list of impossible standards, and then gives us a workaround. Rather, he shows us what it looks like to be good. But he knows we cannot achieve that on our own. So when we cry out to him for help, or entrust ourselves to him, he counts that as goodness. (Abraham believed God -that he would give him a son- and God counted that as righteousness.) When we turn to him for help, he then begins the beautiful process of working with us, and in us, to make us truly good. To make us like him. And part of that process is learning to love the truth. Learning to love what really is, reality. And it looks to me like that is what you are doing right now. You are questioning definitions of Christianity which don't make sense to you. And I believe that he will walk with you through this process. And in so doing, you will discover that he is a much better being than you knew. And as you discover who he truly is, you will find it more and more natural to trust him, and entrust yourself to his kindness and care.

As to whether you can trust the Bible, just keep reading, and accept whatever you are able to accept. Look for truth wherever you see it. He will guide you into all truth. Your job is just to take the next step, and he will guide your steps

Godspeed on your journey!

Xlembonis said:

First of all, I would like to say that I have ocd the illness of doubt and of what ifs.



I lost faith because Christianity does not make sense to me anymore. I cant understand why God created us, gave us free will but also gave rules that make it impossible to make it to heaven and on the same time, give us the way to heaven through faith. When it comes to faith, isn't natural for some people not to have faith or have faith elsewhere? There are many religions and I cant blame people for having a different religion.

So, all that seems to me that Christianity is just a man-made religion.


I still follow Jesus a little from fear and I am like "Maybe HE IS REAL maybe not" but I cant go beyond that and I do not want to start saying prayers or doing rituals from fear.

Click to expand...

I understand the process of losing faith in God is hard, I have been there. Keep seeking what is true and believe things with good evidence and you will find peace.

Xlembonis said:

but what if the Bible is not telling the truth? it may tell some nice things but still, i cant know if it is the truth

Click to expand...

The Bible has a way of showing you different. The Word of God will not return to him void. The Faith that God gives is not all about knowledge and intellect, though it uses them, just as this life is not about you.

Time spent reading and studying the Bible changes you.

Hi @Xlombis welcome to this forum. I hope you can find answers in this forums to the questions you've been searching for.

Xlembonis said:

First of all, I would like to say that I have ocd the illness of doubt and of what ifs.

Click to expand...

I think I can sympathize. I may not have an OCD diagnosis, but I do struggle with doubt, and I can almost never make a decision (even a simple purchase) without later second-guessing the choice I made and wondering to myself if I should have chosen something else. But having doubts is not an excuse to stay on the fence. We almost never have enough evidence or information to be absolutely certain about our choices, but at some point we do have to make a choice if we don't want to remain stuck in a rut.

I lost faith because Christianity does not make sense to me anymore. I cant understand why God created us, gave us free will but also gave rules that make it impossible to make it to heaven and on the same time, give us the way to heaven through faith. When it comes to faith, isn't natural for some people not to have faith or have faith elsewhere? There are many religions and I cant blame people for having a different religion.

Click to expand...

There's quite a lot to unpack in your statements, there are several assertions that are not actually taught in the Biblical narrative.

You say that God "gave rules that make it impossible to heaven", but if you're talking about the Mosaic Law, remember that it was given to Israel about 2000 years after the Fall of Adam. Until the time of Moses, the people lived under their own manmade rules, but they were no closer to Heaven than when God established His covenant with Israel and gave them the Torah, because "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23).

When Adam disobeyed God in the garden, he had exchanged the glory of God with his own, choosing the path of self-determination and his own ambition over submitting to the boundaries set by God's infinite wisdom. Once that line is crossed, Man has lost sight of himself and who God is. We can no longer see the world and others through God's transcendent insights, but only our increasingly narrow and self-focused views, and this often manifests in stupid and ill-advised actions/decisions that hurt ourselves and others.

The Law was not given to bar people from entering Heaven. It was meant to show how far we have strayed from the people we should have been had we still lived in perfect fellowship and harmony with God's will. As R.C. Sproul once said, "People don't become sinners because they sin, but they sin because they are sinners."

There are many different faiths out there, but if you take the time and effort to actually understand what the faiths teaches beyond the bare cliche of "do good, shun evil" (which is how I see most people generalize all religions), you can make an informed decision about which faith to stick to. If you find the task of research daunting, there's plenty of people (both online and offline) who would happily explain about their faith to you, so you don't have to do everything on your own.

So, all that seems to me that Christianity is just a man-made religion.

Click to expand...

I'm not sure how you came to this conclusion, especially given what you said about the Law. If Christianity is truly a man-made message, it is incredibly self-defeating. After all, it claims that, "None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God." (Romans 3:10-11)

Assuming that this is true, that would mean that the people who came up with this religion set themselves up for condemnation and instead choose to trust their eternal destiny on the sacrifice of a god that may or may not exist. I suppose it is possible for someone to come up with this line of thought, but I find this incredibly stupid and unlikely to gain much traction.

I still follow Jesus a little from fear and I am like "Maybe HE IS REAL maybe not" but I cant go beyond that and I do not want to start saying prayers or doing rituals from fear.

Click to expand...

There are many resources you can find to verify the historicity of Jesus, and from there extrapolate on whether you find Him to be a trustworthy Person to, well, trust him with your life. I agree that you shouldn't be praying or doing rituals as a sort-of "insurance to get to heaven, just in case the afterlife exists." Christianity would teach that God disdains people who "honor [Him] with their lips while their hearts are far from [Him], and their fear of [Him] is a commandment taught by men." (Isaiah 29:13, Matthew 15:7-9)

I encourage you to really read and study the Bible (particularly the Gospels) and pray that you will find the truth.

Xlembonis said:

but what if the Bible is not telling the truth? it may tell some nice things but still, i cant know if it is the truth

Click to expand...

Absolute knowledge is an elusive notion but the Inward Witness of the Holy Spirit is convincing - in degrees. The closer to God that you draw, the louder (the more convincing) it becomes. In fact the prophets frequently walked in a state of 100% certainty about the things of God.

And when it convinces you, this places an obligation on your conscience. The most that God can ask of anyone, if He exists and is just, is faithfulness to your conscience. Admittedly if God is unjust, or a liar, there isn't real hope for any of us.

Xlembonis said:

First of all, I would like to say that I have ocd the illness of doubt and of what ifs.



I lost faith because Christianity does not make sense to me anymore. I cant understand why God created us, gave us free will but also gave rules that make it impossible to make it to heaven and on the same time, give us the way to heaven through faith. When it comes to faith, isn't natural for some people not to have faith or have faith elsewhere? There are many religions and I cant blame people for having a different religion.

So, all that seems to me that Christianity is just a man-made religion.


I still follow Jesus a little from fear and I am like "Maybe HE IS REAL maybe not" but I cant go beyond that and I do not want to start saying prayers or doing rituals from fear.

Click to expand...

If Christianity was man-made, it would probably be a lot less restrictive, and the Apostles would have made themselves look better in the New Testament. But that's not as significant as the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. If he died and rose again, the best explanation for that is Christianity being true. I believe he did die and rise again.

Now, as to faith coming natural to some and not to others, I don't quite buy that because every functional person is going to have faith in someone or something. For someone with OCD-like struggles, that faith is often turned on its head - for instance, in my life, I once had deep fears that I was beyond God's ability or desire to reach. The verses that contradict that didn't matter, because I disregarded them. I had strong faith - that God had no ability or desire to reach me. This faith was misplaced. As certain contradictions in my beliefs were pointed out, and as I began to believe the Bible and really internalize its teachings, my faith in God and what he did say became stronger and more consistent. My negative faith had to be pushed aside by positive faith. But it happened, thank God, and I believe this is available to all who need it, who have heard the invitation of the Gospel and doubt that is or could be for them.

Xlembonis said:

First of all, I would like to say that I have ocd the illness of doubt and of what ifs.



I lost faith because Christianity does not make sense to me anymore. I cant understand why God created us, gave us free will but also gave rules that make it impossible to make it to heaven and on the same time, give us the way to heaven through faith. When it comes to faith, isn't natural for some people not to have faith or have faith elsewhere? There are many religions and I cant blame people for having a different religion.

So, all that seems to me that Christianity is just a man-made religion.


I still follow Jesus a little from fear and I am like "Maybe HE IS REAL maybe not" but I cant go beyond that and I do not want to start saying prayers or doing rituals from fear.

Click to expand...

Praying for you, Xlem. I think that having serious doubts theologically is actually pretty normal.

Christ is real. You can count on and believe in Him, and He understands and sees your doubts, and still loves you. Christ wants you to follow Him out of love and gratitude and awe, and I do think that your feelings of "maybe He is real" are something to follow, and hold on to, and pray about.

Do you have a pastor or a priest whom you can talk to about these things?

Xlembonis said:

First of all, I would like to say that I have ocd the illness of doubt and of what ifs.



I lost faith because Christianity does not make sense to me anymore. I cant understand why God created us, gave us free will but also gave rules that make it impossible to make it to heaven and on the same time, give us the way to heaven through faith. When it comes to faith, isn't natural for some people not to have faith or have faith elsewhere? There are many religions and I cant blame people for having a different religion.

So, all that seems to me that Christianity is just a man-made religion.


I still follow Jesus a little from fear and I am like "Maybe HE IS REAL maybe not" but I cant go beyond that and I do not want to start saying prayers or doing rituals from fear.

Click to expand...

Love requires choice. The law, when obeyed 100% (of which Jesus being the only one) produces love. They are indeed laws of love.

We have corrupted hearts/minds .... it's a daily battle (mankind is in the middle of a war) .... however we know the end game .... Jesus wins the war. In the meantime Jesus sends us the Holy Spirit to help us over come and/or endure our daily battles (lasts throughout our earthly life). Glory be to Him!

Xlembonis said:

First of all, I would like to say that I have ocd the illness of doubt and of what ifs.



I lost faith because Christianity does not make sense to me anymore. I cant understand why God created us, gave us free will but also gave rules that make it impossible to make it to heaven and on the same time, give us the way to heaven through faith. When it comes to faith, isn't natural for some people not to have faith or have faith elsewhere? There are many religions and I cant blame people for having a different religion.

So, all that seems to me that Christianity is just a man-made religion.


I still follow Jesus a little from fear and I am like "Maybe HE IS REAL maybe not" but I cant go beyond that and I do not want to start saying prayers or doing rituals from fear.

Click to expand...

I also have OCD and bad anxiety. Most of my existence is doubt and worry. That being said, I believe in God and Jesus Christ, though I often question that belief (thanks, anxiety). I believe because I have seen His impact in my life and the world around me. Without that impact, my anxiety would have driven me to suicide ages ago. I came close a couple of times.

I also know that there is absolutely nothing that anyone can say that will convince you to believe. So, I'll just say that I love you, and I'm here if you want to talk to someone who has been there. Someone who is often still there.

The reality is that we don't get better until we seek healing. That healing will never end, but it IS healing.

I started with a prayer and a song.

Xlembonis said:

but didnt Jesus spoke about faith of mustard seed?

my faith is much less than that.

i am like "Jesus may be real. may be not" isn't that enough?

i still try to follow His teachings. i struggle with sexual sin but still I try to be good person etc etc etc and have some faith.

i justs get discouraged becasue I see other people being like "Jesus is real 100%" and I cant be like that.

Click to expand...

The thing about the faith that usually gets taught is that it is something YOU have to come up with. But that isn't what the Bible says.

The faith by which a person believes in Christ —sometimes called 'saving faith'— is a different thing, generated by the Spirit of God himself. Any amount of it is ONLY real and of God's very nature. No matter how little you have of the faith that God gives, it is enough.

This same faith is what drives a person to do what is right. AND this faith cannot be lost, since it doesn't depend on you.

You are not other people. God is not expecting you to be them.

James 1:5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."

Xlembonis said:

but didnt Jesus spoke about faith of mustard seed?

my faith is much less than that.

i am like "Jesus may be real. may be not" isn't that enough?

i still try to follow His teachings. i struggle with sexual sin but still I try to be good person etc etc etc and have some faith.

i justs get discouraged becasue I see other people being like "Jesus is real 100%" and I cant be like that.

Click to expand...

I found this article that might be useful for you.

Faith in Christianity is not about being certain about everything the Bible teaches, especially since our understandings of the Scriptures may be flawed due to cultural biases and unfamiliarity. Rather, Christian Faith is about trusting in the person of Jesus--trusting that He is good and that His ways are good, even if you're not sure where you're going or what the road is going to look like in your journey with Him. And if you do have some doubts and concerns about this and that, don't hesitate to come to Him and ask, but be open-minded that the answer He gives might not be what you're hoping it to be. He is "gentle and humble in heart" (Matthew 11:29), and He will not be offended by your questions you ask.

Every one of us struggle with sin. But having sin does not disqualify us from coming to Jesus. In fact, the very purpose of His incarnation was so that we can stand before God justified despite being sinners.

If you're not sure about whether or not Jesus had indeed lived and breathed at some point in our historical past, there are numerous extra-Biblical references to Jesus to prove that he does exist.

And if you are overwhelmed by doubts, it is also useful to take your time to try and see where these feelings are coming from. In many cases the doubtful feelings we struggle with are actually unreasonable and has no evidence beyond a vague sense of distrust towards authority, and if we continue to entertain them or let ourselves be immersed in skepticism, it's easy to become paralyzed by fear, as we treat every piece of information we come across as possible hoaxes and conspiracy theories.

Xlembonis said:

First of all, I would like to say that I have ocd the illness of doubt and of what ifs.



I lost faith because Christianity does not make sense to me anymore. I cant understand why God created us, gave us free will but also gave rules that make it impossible to make it to heaven and on the same time, give us the way to heaven through faith. When it comes to faith, isn't natural for some people not to have faith or have faith elsewhere? There are many religions and I cant blame people for having a different religion.

So, all that seems to me that Christianity is just a man-made religion.


I still follow Jesus a little from fear and I am like "Maybe HE IS REAL maybe not" but I cant go beyond that and I do not want to start saying prayers or doing rituals from fear.

Click to expand...

Mine won't be the popular response here, but study about the Bible and the history of Christianity from multiple viewpoints, not just those that you already have. I don't know what your educational background is, but get beyond Sunday School level information.

Xlembonis said:

First of all, I would like to say that I have ocd the illness of doubt and of what ifs.



I lost faith because Christianity does not make sense to me anymore. I cant understand why God created us, gave us free will but also gave rules that make it impossible to make it to heaven and on the same time, give us the way to heaven through faith. When it comes to faith, isn't natural for some people not to have faith or have faith elsewhere? There are many religions and I cant blame people for having a different religion.

So, all that seems to me that Christianity is just a man-made religion.


I still follow Jesus a little from fear and I am like "Maybe HE IS REAL maybe not" but I cant go beyond that and I do not want to start saying prayers or doing rituals from fear.

Click to expand...

It takes a long time to get over that fear. I remember the first time I could say that I don't believe anymore without that feeling of dread. It's brainwashing or maybe coercive mind control is a better choice of words. The way to get past it is to think hard and never, ever place anything above ones own judgment. One thing that really helped me to get past that fear was to recognize that I had no other alternative but to imagine the hell that I had been taught about. When I realized this the fear just went away. The imaginary has no power, it is nothing.

ReesePiece23 said:

I don't care what anybody says, I firmly believe that the bible was intended to be interpreted on multiple different levels. The verses *to me* are written in such a timeless way that they can mean one thing when you're 19 and something completely different at 29. And I actually think it pays to read with an open mind and study whatever confuses you.

CLEARLY you care. So use this time now to go down the academic route instead of clinging to arbitrary emotions. Sometimes, the absolute worst thing anyone can do is wait for a feeling to 'hit them' or ask for signs; because I feel you're just leaving the door open to be mislead by your own desire to "get somewhere."

Take your time on this. Don't look for the easy way out. Logic beats OCD every single time.

Click to expand...

I appreciate this a lot. The last time I actually tried to read the bible was over 15 years ago. I've also come to realize I have a very concrete mind, so, unless referenced in a way I understand, most metaphors go over my head. And I think that's what the bible represents - not necessarily a word to word history book but a collection of stories passed from generation to generation in the world's largest game of telephone. At least, that's the excuse I'll use to pick it up again.