have you ever thought about this?

Lifelong_sinner said:

hello all. so i am an ongoing survivor of kidney stones, meaning after 13 years, i still keep getting them. so long story short, i had a kidney stone attack, went to the ER for the next 2 days off and on, and last nite went in for surgery.

its been about 3 years since i had one, the longest span without one since i started having them in 2008. also the surgery was very unexpected, and rushed, to be honest. but everything was happening very fast. and all they did was put in a stent.

so as they are wheeling me back to surgery, i'll admit, i was very nervous. i always am. i found myself repeatedly praying to Jesus, praying that the dr and nurses would do well, and that if it was my time, so be it.

do you ever find that when you're ina bad position in life, do you question am i saved? do you ever feel like you just did so much bad stuff in this life? do you find that you simply arent ready for judgement day? do you wonder what your family will do after you're gone? sooooo many questions were running thru my mind. am i alone in thinking like this?? do truly saved christians not think like this? why cant i get over my fear of dying and being judged?? what can i do to make it better next time??

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No, honestly I can't say that I am afraid to die. These days I am much more afraid to live, because of the political climate around us.
God I know will will be honest in His judgement, but I cannot say the same about the people who surround me.
They are being inflamed by the politicians and the Press, and there's no telling when the Revolution will break out.
I am alone here, with only God to help me. I pray that He does.

If a person is a believe and they have trusted in The Messiah for God's free gift of Eternal Life. They should never look to their lives for assurance.

Instead look to The Messiah and His promise that whoever trust in Him has received God's free gift of Eternal Life.

Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me has everlasting life.

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?”

She said to Him, “Yes, Lord, I believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”

I have those thoughts on occasion but I am not afraid of dying. I am an osas believer and unless I forsake God my salvation is secure. I do wonder about levels though. I can't see myself on the same level as in most. Billy graham being an example. Maybe different levels of heaven as lowly me who could have lead a better christian life will be there just not with the upper echelon,
Never forget how much God gave up for you and how much he loves you. He won't let you throw yourself away.
Don't let fears keep you from his love.
God bless you.

pdudgeon said:

No, honestly I can't say that I am afraid to die. These days I am much more afraid to live, because of the political climate around us.
God I know will will be honest in His judgement, but I cannot say the same about the people who surround me.
They are being inflamed by the politicians and the Press, and there's no telling when the Revolution will break out.
I am alone here, with only God to help me. I pray that He does.

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Stay strong and have no fear. Remember how much God loves you and will never leave you.
You are never alone and can reach out for other Christians who feel as you do.
A thread for that would be nice.
God bless you!

Lifelong_sinner said:

do you ever find that when you're ina bad position in life, do you question am i saved?

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Not all that long ago, I did that all the time.
As I've grown in the Lord over the years, those doubts have become fewer and farther between.

Lifelong_sinner said:

do you ever feel like you just did so much bad stuff in this life?

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Often, but again, not as often as I once did.

Also, I know that I've done bad things in this life...but that's not the point.
The point is, do you believe your Saviour when He gave this to Matthew to write?

" And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins." ( Matthew 1:21 ).

We are forgiven.

Don't look at your sins too long, because your Father doesn't.
Confess them and forsake them and move on.
They've been dealt with at the cross ( Colossians 2:13-14 ).

He will take care of your walk with Him.
Just do your best to obey Him, and He will show you how to walk in the Spirit so that you will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.

Lifelong_sinner said:

do you find that you simply arent ready for judgement day?

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I used to feel like that long ago...
Until the Lord made it plain to me regarding the above post.

Lifelong_sinner said:

do you wonder what your family will do after you're gone?

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Not so much anymore, but I once did.

Lifelong_sinner said:

do truly saved christians not think like this?

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I have, especially in the past.

Lifelong_sinner said:

why cant i get over my fear of dying and being judged??

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How long have you been a believer, if I may ask?
I only ask, because it took a fair amount of time to grow into really believing God's words about my own sin debt being paid, and Him casting those sins away from Him as far as east is from west.

My advice?
Study His words diligently, and believe them.

Lifelong_sinner said:

what can i do to make it better next time??

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You can't make anything better between you and the Lord than it already is.

He chose you in Christ, redeemed you by His blood, and set you apart for Himself.
That includes imputing Christ's own righteousness to you...
Your faltering steps are proof of a wicked flesh.
Your concern about it is proof of a new heart, my friend.

See 2 Corinthians 5:17.

Lifelong_sinner said:

hello all. so i am an ongoing survivor of kidney stones, meaning after 13 years, i still keep getting them. so long story short, i had a kidney stone attack, went to the ER for the next 2 days off and on, and last nite went in for surgery.

its been about 3 years since i had one, the longest span without one since i started having them in 2008. also the surgery was very unexpected, and rushed, to be honest. but everything was happening very fast. and all they did was put in a stent.

so as they are wheeling me back to surgery, i'll admit, i was very nervous. i always am. i found myself repeatedly praying to Jesus, praying that the dr and nurses would do well, and that if it was my time, so be it.

do you ever find that when you're ina bad position in life, do you question am i saved? do you ever feel like you just did so much bad stuff in this life? do you find that you simply arent ready for judgement day? do you wonder what your family will do after you're gone? sooooo many questions were running thru my mind. am i alone in thinking like this?? do truly saved christians not think like this? why cant i get over my fear of dying and being judged?? what can i do to make it better next time??

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The flesh is weak and when we are ill or going through trauma we let the weakness of our flesh overshadow the truth of our salvation. Remember, even Jesus Christ of Nazareth asked the Father to spare Him from the sufferings that awaited Him. Yet, it is the Fathers will and not ours. Be comforted. You are not alone. Blessings.

I too have struggled with this thought. But I am learning to trust in God and Jesus as my savior. So right now I feel that if I plead the Lord of Christ everything will be just fine in the end. His sacrifice is sufficient. I am a wretch, but I am a learning, growing wretch and God is not done with me.

Lifelong_sinner said:

...1. why cant i get over my fear of dying and being judged?? 2. what can i do to make it better next time??

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Hello Lifelong_sinner, the answer to your first question is, a. Satan, as well b. the fact that you aren't availing yourself of the tools the Lord gives us to fight the spiritual battles that all Christians face.

The answer to your second question (how to make it better going forward) is, first and foremost, stop listening to Satan and your feelings, and choose to listen to/believe/trust God instead IOW, begin to make the difficult choice to ALWAYS take God at His word, no matter what your feelings are telling you in the moment, and/or no matter what the lies and 1/2 truths are that the enemy and his demons are whispering in your ears/doing their very best to unsettle you with

And if you fail to do so, and you will, especially at first, just ask the Lord to forgive you (and He will ... 1 John 1:9), then get up and begin again by choosing to believe God/take Him at His word again, and Satan's demons will eventually move on.

You also need to become increasingly familiar with God's word (by growing daily in both your knowledge and your understanding of it, and of its Author), and then by believing and trusting what He says to you in His word.

So, #1, as soon as one of these disturbing/confusing thoughts pops into you mind, take it "captive" in Jesus' Name .. 2 Corinthians 10:5 (IOW, refuse to accept the thought/call it what it is, out loud if you want to ), and give it over to the Lord Jesus to take care of, again and again and again, as necessary.

James 4:7 promises us that Satan will eventually leave us alone if we resist him, but it isn't easy to do, because he doesn't make it easy. But if you stay with it, he/his demons will eventually pack it up and leave (for awhile anyway) while they go in search of an easier/more pliable target to tempt.

If I have not suggested it to you before, try reading C. S. Lewis' collection of short stories called, The Screwtape Letters. It's fictional, but it will help you understand how Satan and his demons operate to confuse/upset your Christian walk, and also how to recognize their attacks for what they are, far more quickly (and you can read it online for free here). It's also a Christian classic and a GREAT read too (just remember that things will seem a bit askew to you as no other Christian book that I know of is written from the demons' POV .. for instance, when you see the word "Enemy", it's referring to God).

God bless you!

--David
p.s. - has God given you any reason not to believe Him, trust Him, and always take Him at His word? If He hasn't, then why not just go ahead and do so

Lifelong_sinner said:

Very good responses folks. Thank you. The problem is i have no assurance, for that matter i cant even tell you if i’m even saved or not. But i have spent many a nite in the hospital, far more than anyone else in my family and every time i stay in one, its humbling as i watch other people there.
Its at our worst, lowest times that we realize how much money we have, how big are our cars and houses, doesnt matter in the end. All that matters is having salvation, and being confident in that salvation.

ever the more will i fight to receive salvation and on that day will i tell everyone about it.

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Dear one,
Consider what you have heard:

1 I love the LORD, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. 2 Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live.

3 The snares of death encompassed me; the pangs of Sheol laid hold on me; I suffered distress and anguish. 4 Then I called on the name of the LORD: "O LORD, I pray, deliver my soul!"

5 Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; our God is merciful. 6 The LORD preserves the simple; when I was brought low, he saved me.7 Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.

8 For you have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling; 9 I will walk before the LORD in the land of the living. -Psalms 116:1-9

Dear one,
Meditate what you have heard. Trust in the name of the Lord. Call Him like David cried to Him.

Dear one,
Don’t allow to be melted with anxiety and grief. Be strengthened in keeping with His words.

Trust in Christ’s love.

Hello again @Lifelong_sinner, I should have also said how sorry I am to hear about your bouts with kidney stones. I've had gallstones a couple of times, but as painful as they were, I've heard that they are nothing when compared to the pain that kidney stones cause in a person

God bless you!

--David
p.s. - it might be time for you to stop questioning your salvation and make the conscious choice to believe what God has told you (that you are saved). Has He given you any reason, any reason at all, not to trust what He says? If not, then by all means begin to do so Also, try to remember that your salvation is fact, NOT a feeling.

I had to do that when I realized that I'd allowed myself to go down the very same road that you're on now (because I realized that I was listening to/trusting my feelings and Satan, who hates me ~instead of~ listening to/trusting my Savior, who loves me).

If you want to please God, then you need know what He says and choose to have faith in/believe what He says (and trust that He means exactly what He says), no matter how much your feelings are telling you otherwise .. e.g. Hebrews 11:6.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16). "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (I John 1:9) "As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us." (Psa 103:12).

Also, a friend said to avoid sodas to not have kidney stones for some folks.

Praying for you.

Lifelong_sinner said:

But i have spent many a nite in the hospital, far more than anyone else in my family and every time i stay in one, its humbling as i watch other people there.

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It is and was the times I was in hospital as well.
One thing that I noticed, past the fear that they had, was that they were hoping in the doctors to make them well and to deliver them from their problems.

We as believers have a better hope and a lasting hope.

Lifelong_sinner said:

Its at our worst, lowest times that we realize how much money we have, how big are our cars and houses, doesnt matter in the end. All that matters is having salvation, and being confident in that salvation.

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That, my friend, is evidence in itself.

After all of your health problems and other circumstances of adversity, what are you actually looking at?
What are you really resting in and what do you value above all else?

Eternal life....to know God and His Son ( John 17:3 )...
That being saved is worth more than all the rest of what we can have in this very temporary world and its ways.


Hang in there, my friend, and trust the Lord in His love for you, His promises to you, and His ability and desire to deliver you when you call upon Him in faith.
Trials of faith and of this life can be hard, but know that He does deliver those who are His, and He promises that those who seek Him with their whole heart, will find Him.

Yes I know how you feel when I had a couple of operations I found myself praying as I do not want to leave my loved ones behind. One of my regular prayers is that I will be with my wife and son the day that Jesus returns.