My daughter is not assured of her salvation, asks, "how do i know i'm saved"

KirkPsalm · Jun 17, 2021

My 10 year old daughter has explained now a couple of years since she has accepted the LORD that she doesn't "feel" saved. Asks "How do I know I'm saved."
I am going to be asking if she understand what sin is, what forgiveness is. If she understands that the compulsion to do the right thing can be or is the work of the Holy Spirit in her life. Evidence of the Lord in her heart would be that she love others and that she can give of herself sacrificially and prayer and Christian counsel is reliable way to navigate life on this earth. She should love others and know when mercy and justice are the appropriate course of action.
I wonder if any of my Christian brothers and sisters have some insight or experience here.
Thank you

Albion · Jun 17, 2021

Hi, KP. If it were me, I wouldn't concentrate too much on how we live up to the behavioral standards that Christ taught--love, charity, mercy, and so on. Doing that could lead to what I've heard from other Christians who are relatively new to the faith or else were never well educated in it and, as a result, have these kinds of doubts.

Instead, I'd stress that we of course cannot "prove" we're saved in some absolute, almost scientific manner, but we do have the Bible as our guide to such things. It is divine revelation and contains what we need to know in this life.

Among those is what Jesus said to his Apostles late in his life here--that we are to trust him. Not just believe in him or believe what he taught, but trust him for our salvation.

If we accept him as our Savior, based upon everything that we know, we cannot also go around doubting that he'll do what he said he'd do (and in order to accomplish it, died a sinner's death FOR US, even though he was blameless himself).

BobRyan · Jun 17, 2021

She is asking a very important question and needs the Bible's answer because the many within the church in Matt 7 - think they are "saved" - but only the "few" in the church according to Christ actually are saved.

Everyone who "thinks" they are born again claims to have said all the right words or believed all the right things about grace... but they are not all saved according to Christ - only "the few" are.

Romans 8:4-16 has the answer for anyone that thinks they "might" be a born-again Christian but wants to know for sure --

Rom 8
4 so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5 For those who are in accord with the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are in accord with the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. 6 For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, 7 because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, 8 and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

9 However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him. 10 If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness. 11 But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.

12 So then, brothers and sisters, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh— 13 for if you are living in accord with the flesh, you are going to die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons and daughters of God. 15 For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons and daughters by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God

God the Holy Spirit will speak to her.

Neogaia777 · Jun 17, 2021

Explain to her first that it is much, much less a "feeling" rather than it is a "knowing" first, first off, etc, and then proceed from there with that as a starting point, etc...

Help her to know Jesus, and what it means to have the/that same Spirit that was with Him (Jesus), and was Him (Jesus), while He was here living with us, but that is now living on the inside of her now here, etc, and teach or show her how to have a deep personal and intimate relationship with Him, or that One, now, but from on the inside of her now, or from within, etc, but by knowing it (this) and Him, which means we may not always feel it/Him always, etc, but always know Him, and always know He is right there always, etc...

God Bless!

Bible Highlighter · Jun 17, 2021

1 John 1:9

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9).

1 John 1:7

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.” (1 John 1:7). (* Note: Walking in the light is loving your brother (or sister) according to the indirect wording in 1 John 2:9-11, also see: 1 John 3:10, and 1 John 3:15).

Proverbs 28:13 says,

“He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13).

1 John 2:3-6.

“And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments. He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him. He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked.” (1 John 2:3-6).

John 15:10.

“If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love.” (John 15:10).

John 15:14

“Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.” (John 15:14).

This would be the commands that come from Jesus and not the Laws of Moses.

“For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.” (John 1:17).

Meaning, we don't have to keep the Saturday Sabbath, circumcision, dietary laws, etc.; We just follow what Jesus commanded us to obey. For we are under a New Covenant with New Commands.

“For the priesthood being changed, there is made of necessity a change also of the law.” (Hebrews 7:12).

For after we are saved by God's grace through faith (which is a process of salvation without the deeds of the Law), we need to then enter the Sanctification Process as a part of God's plan of salvation.

“...God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth: Whereunto he called you by our gospel,...” (2 Thessalonians 2:13-14).

For while we are initially and foundationally saved by God's grace (which includes the gospel), we need to answer the call of the gospel in that God has chosen us to salvation through.... Sanctification of the Spirit (living holy by the Spirit), and a belief of the truth (i.e. believing the Holy Scriptures, or the Bible).

Goodhuman · Jun 17, 2021

Tell her to love God and he will do the rest!

Neogaia777 · Jun 17, 2021

And then maybe she'll say she's not hearing from Him right now maybe, etc...?

Well then, in that case, then tell her that it all starts with this knowing I just now mentioned first, and then that, to truly start hearing from Him after that, sometimes takes a very, very great deal of our just talking to or with Him first before you do ever start hearing back from Him first, etc, and so, she needs to just always continue to not ever forget about Him always being right there, and then practice always just her talking to or with Him a lot first, etc, before she'll start maybe ever start hearing back from Him if she ever does first, etc...

And always remember to remind her that if she ever does it will come from very, very deep within her if she ever does, etc, and that right now, it could even be covered up or very deeply buried, very, very deep within her right now very deep, etc...

And that some people just don't want to, or are just not fully totally able, to always dig that deep, etc...

God Bless!

d taylor · Jun 17, 2021

If she has trusted in The Messiah for God's free gift of Eternal Life. Then her assurance can rest in Jesus and His promise that whoever believes in Him has received God's free gift of Eternal Life (salvation).

Assurance of Eternal Life can never rest in how our life is going, battling sin or not, bearing much fruit. etc.. It can only rest in The Messiah and His promise.

Dave G. · Jun 17, 2021

When we come to Jesus as our savior it's a legal matter in heaven that we move from darkness to light. We literally go from Satan's ownership destination hell, to God's and are a child of the living God with an assurance of heaven. Sanctification is a life long process she has barely started down the road of if at all.

But imo she is a bit young to be burdened with it all. Keep it simple at this age. You don't need 32 scriptures or even lines of scripture to prove the point Jesus loves her. She trusted in Him, He loves her, love Him back.

paul1149 · Jun 17, 2021

Basically agree with this. I wouldn't go deeper into the theology than she can digest, or you might create a harmful morbid religious fear, which many today suffer from. Keep it as simple as possible: trust God, and He will see you through. Whenever the disciples asked for more faith, Jesus told them to put what they already had to use, etc.

aiki · Jun 17, 2021

The question your daughter has asked is, I think, among the most important questions any person can ask. And God has a clear answer. When a person is saved, the Holy Spirit brings to them in himself the life of Christ, spiritual life, and cleansing from their sin.

Titus 3:5
5 He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit,

1 Corinthians 6:11
11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

The Spirit takes up residence within the person who has trusted in Christ as their Savior and Lord and it is by His presence within the person that they are "born-again" spiritually, given the life of Christ (Colossians 3:3-4; Philippians 1:21; Romans 8:9-10) and forever changed, made a "new creature in Christ." (2 Corinthians 5:17)

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,
20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Why am I reminding you of these things? Because it is the effect of the Spirit within a saved person, the work of the Spirit in them, that is the primary means by which a person can assess the reality of their salvation. When Christians speak of "experiencing God," they are speaking of what the Spirit has/is doing in and through their lives.

What does the Bible say is supposed to be the saved person's common experience of the Spirit? This is the answer to your daughter's question. She can know she is saved because, through the work of the Spirit in her life, the "Spirit bears witness with her spirit that she is a child of God." (Romans 8:16) Here, then, are the most basic manifestations of the Spirit in a saved person's life:

1.) The Spirit convicts the born-again believer of sin, illuminates/teaches God's truth, and glorifies God in the minds and hearts of all believers.

John 16:8-15 (NASB)
8 "And He, when He comes, will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment;
9 concerning sin, because they do not believe in Me;
10 and concerning righteousness, because I go to the Father and you no longer see Me;
11 and concerning judgment, because the ruler of this world has been judged.
12 "I have many more things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.
13 "But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come.
14 "He will glorify Me, for He will take of Mine and will disclose it to you.
15 "All things that the Father has are Mine; therefore I said that He takes of Mine and will disclose it to you. (See also: 1 Corinthians 2:10-16; 1 John 2:27)

2.) The Spirit strengthens the born-again believer in times of trial and temptation.

Ephesians 3:16 (NASB)
16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man,

Philippians 2:13 (NASB)
13 for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.

Romans 8:13 (NASB)
13 for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

2 Thessalonians 3:3 (NASB)
3 But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one.

3.) The Spirit "bears fruit" in the character and conduct of the born-again believer.

Galatians 5:22-24 (NASB)
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Ephesians 5:8-9 (KJV)
8 For you were sometimes darkness, but now are you light in the Lord: walk as children of light:
9 (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth)

4.) The Spirit leads the believer.

Romans 8:14 (NASB)
14 For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.

5.) The Spirit causes the born-again believer to love the Christian brethren.

1 John 3:14 (NASB)
14 We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death.

Here, then, is a short list of the most common traits of a person who is really saved. There are other characteristics evident in a person who is truly born-again that the Bible describes, but the ones I've listed are, I think, the most readily observable and most basic in one's life (and the life of others claiming membership in God's family).

It is important to remember that every saved person "grows up" in the faith (1 Corinthians 3:6-7; Ephesians 2:21; Ephesians 4:15-16; 1 Peter 2:2; 2 Peter 3:18, etc.) they go through a process of spiritual maturation, over time becoming more and more like Christ and increasingly manifesting the work of the Spirit in their life. Your daughter will know, and love, and walk in joy with God with increasing depth and strength. She's like an apple tree that begins as a sapling, unable at first to produce fruit but growing, bit by bit, toward a fully-sized tree, strong, deeply-rooted, and finally bringing forth a profusion of big, sweet apples. But this will take years to come to pass. As one man has said, "It takes a squash four months to grow to maturity but a mighty, towering oak requires many decades to do the same. Which would you rather be? A squash or a mighty oak?" Sometimes, we rush an immature believer to grow and get a spiritual "squash" as a result, rather than a spiritual "mighty oak."

In any case, your daughter should be able to mark all of the things Scripture says the Spirit does in a born-again person in her own life if she is really saved. They may not be there in grand proportion but they will be there in some measure if she's been made new spiritually.

Bible Highlighter · Jun 17, 2021

Some may want to give your daughter assurance by quoting Paul in Ephesians 2:8-9, Titus 3:5, Romans 4:2-6, Romans 11:6. However, they fail to understand that there are two aspects of salvation. The first aspect of salvation is being saved by God's grace through faith in Jesus Christ. The second aspect of salvation is Sanctification. Many today fail to understand that Paul was arguing against
“Works Alone Salvationism” (Without God's grace).

Paul was fighting against what I would call, "Circumcision Salvationism" (Which is Law Alone Salvationism without God's grace); A certain sect of Jews were trying to deceive some Christians into thinking they had to first be circumcised in order to be saved. This was a heresy that was clearly addressed at the Jerusalem council (See Acts of the Apostles 15:1, Acts of the Apostles 15:5, Acts of the Apostles 15:24). Paul also addressed this problem; Paul said to the Galatians that if you seek to be circumcised, Christ will profit you nothing (Galatians 5:2), and then Paul mentions how if you seek to be justified by the Law, you have fallen from grace (Galatians 5:4). This "law" is the Torah because circumcision is not a part of the commands given to us by Jesus and His followers. For if a person thought they had to first be circumcised in order to be initially saved, they would be making the Law or a work the entrance gate and foundation of their salvation instead of having faith in God's grace.

James 2:24 (Berean Literal Bible) says,
“You see that a man is justified by works, and not by faith alone.”

James 2:17 says,
“Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.”

Can a dead faith save anyone?

But it is even more than having good works. For we learn that those believers who did wonderful works in Christ's name were told to depart from Him because they also worked iniquity or sin (See: Matthew 7:22-23). For everyone who does not do what Jesus says is like a fool who built His house upon the sand and when a storm came, great was the fall of that house (Matthew 7:26-27). So we have to live holy and not justify sin. For without holiness, no man shall see the Lord (See: Hebrews 12:14).

For if Christ abides in us, then we will bring forth good fruit and not bad fruit (See: Matthew 7:15-20).

Anyways, in conclusion: Paul was arguing against Works ALONE Salvationism, and in trying to be justified by the Old Law (i.e. the 613 Laws of Moses as a whole or package deal). Yes, certain laws have carried over into the New Testament, but we follow Jesus and what He says and not Moses. For we are under a New Covenant instituted with the death of Jesus Christ. Many today hold to Belief Alone-ism and or a Grievous Sin and Still Be Saved Type Belief (Whereby it leads a person to not do anything (or do very little) for the Lord and to live for themselves).

We are living in the last day as per 2 Timothy 3:1-9.

Please read this passage.

Side Note:

Most Christians today make salvation to be one dimensional. To get a more comprehensive picture of salvation (according to the Scriptures), check out my CF thread here:

The Four Aspects of Salvation.

aiki · Jun 17, 2021

KirkPsalm, beware the "axe-grinders" who always seem to migrate to threads like yours about soteriological matters. They may seem reasonable and sophisticated in what they put forward, but a bit of careful inspection of their ideas will show their hair-splitting wordplay with Scripture the false teaching that it is. Christ is our Salvation, not our works, not our faithfulness to him. "He who has the Son has life" the Bible says (1 John 5:12), there is salvation only in Christ (Acts 4:12). Salvation is not in something we do, but is a Person in whom we trust. Reject the teaching of those who would urge you to slip in an additional means to, or source of, salvation.

John 1:1-4
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
2 He was in the beginning with God.
3 All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being.
4 In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men.

John 3:36
36 "He who believes in the Son has eternal life...

John 14:6
6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.

Romans 10:9-10
9 that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved;
10 for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.

1 Corinthians 1:26-31
26 For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble;
27 but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong,
28 and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are,
29 so that no man may boast before God.
30 But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption,
31 so that, just as it is written, "LET HIM WHO BOASTS, BOAST IN THE LORD."

Maria Billingsley · Jun 17, 2021

We must love Him first with all our heart,soul and mind. It is not possible to go on to any of the fruits of the Holy Spirit if our love for our Heavenly Father is not fully understood and grounded in faith.

Sketcher · Jun 17, 2021

I became a Christian about her age.

I found this booklet to be very helpful, I read and re-read it quite a bit: https://www.navpress.com//p/lessons-on-assurance/9780891091608

Jeffwhosoever · Jun 17, 2021

A book I found in our church library did a world of good for me on this topic and I strongly recommend you find a copy, used or otherwise. I tried Lifeway and did not see it, so forgive me for showing it thru the only place I can find on Amazon, but once you have the title and author you can likely find it at any bookstore or Christian store, or public or church library. I liked it so much I wound up buying my own copy to pass around to friends and family.
https://www.amazon.com/Absolutely-S...utely+sure+steve+lawson&qid=1623982996&sr=8-2

Bible Highlighter · Jun 18, 2021

1 John 2:3-6 is straight out of the Bible in giving you the answer that you seek. Many today do not want to hear it because they hold to a belief outside of His Word. They want to support ministries offer material so as to help, but you can only get it, if you pay. Some of these ministries appear to be for holy living, but it is a trojan horse. They actually believe you can sin and still be saved. But like in the Garden of Eden, the devil was trying to sell Eve on the lie that she could break God's command and not die. This is the same lie by the devi that is being pushed today. Again, be very careful to listen to all of their words. They may appear to be for holy living at one point, but at another point they will admit that Christians can abide in grievous sins and still be saved, too. Jesus says you will know them by their fruit (deeds). A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot produce good fruit.

Bible Highlighter · Jun 18, 2021

To all:

You will notice that some try to make attacks against me personally instead of making it about the Scriptures. The Scriptures are true regardless. The verses I have put forth need to be explained by my opponents. But this rarely happens and when it does, it is not in line with the whole counsel of God's Word and it is merely a disbelief of many verses. God wants people who are loyal to Him. To say that God will favor us if we are evil or sinful is an oxymoron. All through the beginning of the Bible to the end you can read about how God wants us to obey Him and the consequences of any person's disobedience never ends well. Don't take my word for it, check the Bible for yourself and see.

I hope this message may bless you all.
May God's love shine upon you today.

With loving kindness to you in Christ,

Sincerely,

BL. Highlighter.

Neogaia777 · Jun 18, 2021

I love it when truth, or a very excellent point made, now all of the sudden becomes "personal attacks", etc...

Anyway, have a good day all.

God Bless!

Brenda Blakely · Jun 21, 2021

Dear Kirkpsalm,
How precious. I am so glad that she talks to you about this. As the
joyous feelings that come with accepting Jesus begins to subside she
is beginning to grow in her walk with the Lord. She can now learn to
walk by faith. She can know that God’s word is True and that He can be
trusted. This means she knows that she is saved because “God says so.”
Here are some numbers you can call to ask for resources to
help her to learn and grow. Assure her there is no doubt because God
has not changed, God is still with her and her relationship will grow
as she walks with Him. Sometimes it will be simply by faith and not by
sight or feelings. God bless you as you venture together. This is so
precious.

BB

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