Friendship with Non-Christians

You should have close friendships with unbelievers. You should beware being "yoked together" with unbelievers. Sharing a yoke means moving in the same direction, bound together. The image is two oxen yoked together pulling a plow. Marriage would certainly be an example of being yoked together. There could be some business partnerships that might fall into this category - though I don't believe that it's always wrong to have business partnerships with unbelievers.

Jesus did not yoke himself with unbelievers but he did invite unbelievers to "take my yoke upon you". If they would move in his direction with them, then they could gladly be yoked with him.

Yes the verses you quoted are in relation to idol worship. I don't think that applies to most friendships unless your friend is somehow trying to convert you or baiting you into some kind of activity that is disapproved of in the Bible like illicit sexuality, occultism etc.

Here's an interesting fact I picked up recently from a book I read. The Biblical Hero, Caleb was not born a Hebrew! He came from a Cainite tribe (Kenizite) living in Egypt before the time of the Exodus and seems to have converted sometime before they departed. Maybe when the plagues are going on possibly. But the question is how do you think that happened? The plagues were a motivator but you usually do not see that unless their is also some kind of relationship also because it is a huge change to go from unbelieving Cainite to adopting the Hebrew God and his ways which includes circumcision! If Caleb did not have some Hebrew friends I'm pretty sure he would have "run to the hills" so to speak rather than join the Children of Israel.

I agree that the "yolked" word is key. To me this would mean marriage, contractual obligations, and partnership. Perhaps also joint ownership of a property or business.

Consider;

1Co 5:9 I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators:
1Co 5:10 Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world.
1Co 5:11 But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.

Jesus was a "friend of sinners". They couldn't get Him to sin so there was no issue. I think that as long as they aren't leading you down some bad path like drugs it is fine. Based on what you said you are doing good work with them so I wouldn't be concerned about it.

npw11 said:

I have often read online that Christians are not supposed to have close friendships with non-Christians. But what exactly is a close friendship? And how does it differ from a quality or meaningful friendship?

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The sort of relationship in view in 2 Corinthians 6 passage is one in which the non-believer gains some sort of direct influence over the believer's moral choices, values, ethics and spiritual beliefs. That influence can form through a business partnership, or through romantic involvement, or be the sort of influence a very close but platonic friend often has. In any relationship with a non-believer where the relationship gives the non-believer power to directly influence your behavior and thinking morally and spiritually, it ought to be forsaken (or sharply limited). In relationships, as in the world at large, gravity is at work. There's a downward pull away from God that is exerted upon a believer by unbelievers in every sort of sustained relationship between them. Most of the time, its a generalized, passive sort of downward pull that's not too difficult to resist, but the closer relationally the unbeliever is to the believer, the more force that pull obtains and the greater the effort required to stand against it.

As nice as an unbeliever may be, so long as they remain apart from God, they are His enemy. There is no innocuous, neutral ground upon which an unbeliever may stand relative to God. As Jesus said,

Matthew 12:30
30 "He who is not with Me is against Me; and he who does not gather with Me scatters.

The smiling, pleasant lost person is in constant rebellion toward God, a lover, ultimately, of him/herself rather than Christ, and so cannot aid you at all in growing in your fellowship with your holy Maker. This is why Paul described them as he did: dark, lawless, representatives of Belial, idolaters and unclean. In light of all these things, the wise man obeys Paul's divinely-inspired commands to the Corinthian believers not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever.

Hi, unequally yoked means to be in marriage to a pre-believer. If you are negatively being influenced by certain pre believers ,then keep a distance. I pray that you may have wisdom from the Lord for discernment. Also, you can go to Christian websites and Bible commentaries to check the exposition of those passages.

1 Corinthians 15:33 bad company corrupts good character.

npw11 said:

Hi, I have posted a thread on a similar topic about 5 months ago. However, I am honestly still confused. This issue which I am facing has to do with the Bible verses 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 (NKJV):

"Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said:

'I will dwell in them
And walk among them.
I will be their God,
And they shall be My people.'

Therefore

'Come out from among them
And be separate, says the Lord.
Do not touch what is unclean,
And I will receive you.'
'I will be a Father to you,
And you shall be My sons and daughters,
Says the Lord Almighty.'"
​

Over the past 8 months, I have developed meaningful relationships with two of my friends. They are non-Christians, one is a Catholic by name only and the other is a Taoist (which I suppose is by name only as well). I managed to form these relationships as we used to work closely together in a team. It was in a nonprofit I co-founded, which strived to provide supplemental education to the street children of Jakarta. They may be the only non-Christian friends in my life who are not superficial. We are able to be honest to each other. We talk a lot about mental health issues, our own personalities and habits, school, and also life in general. Often times, we joke around in a non-sinful manner. I already consider them as my own little brother and sister (though not in the sense of a brother and sister in the Lord, for obvious reasons), and they likewise consider me as their brother; I love them and care for them so much. And they know well that I am a Christian who takes his faith seriously. However, I am also aware of the influences non-Christian friends can have on a Christian. And I do not want to, in any way, compromise my obedience to Christ for their sake (or their acceptance). I also do not go to them for advice as I know that their advice will mostly not be based on Scripture; I provide them with advice instead. That is where I draw the line. As a result, I recently was able to share the gospel with one of them. I gained her trust which allowed her to ask me some deep questions about life, and through that I shared the gospel with her. She seemed to have been thinking about what I said to her. I am also in a healthy church, and I do have a Christian mentor from my church (although the relationship is more of a supporting each other/keeping each other accountable/praying for one another relationship rather than a teacher-disciple relationship). Do my relationships with my two non-Christian friends violate 2 Corinthians 6:14-18?

I have often read online that Christians are not supposed to have close friendships with non-Christians. But what exactly is a close friendship? And how does it differ from a quality or meaningful friendship?

It is important to note that I have psychiatrist-diagnosed Religious OCD/Scrupulosity (please pray for me). OCD so often targets that which is valuable and meaningful to me and tries to take them away from me in any possible way. This issue has been giving me a really bad anxiety today, though I am not certain whether or not this issue comes from OCD. When I brought this issue up with my Christian psychiatrist in the past, he told me that it is alright as long as I am not negatively influenced by those relationships. I would love to know what other Christians say though. Thanks a lot!

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I agree with your psychiatrist. It does my heart good to read about your relationship with your friends, and how you shared the gospel with one of them. It seems that you really love them and are demonstrating to them what living as a Christian involves. I hope that they come to accept the Lord as their Saviour. Just make sure that you walk with the Lord, and keep the truth of the gospel in your mind, as you talk to them. I like the fact that you have good prayer relationship with a Christian friend and I think that you have the right outlook on your relationship with both your Christian and not yet (hopefully) Christian friends. God bless you!

BTW my NIV Study Bible notes say that the passage in 2 Corinthians 6 v 14-18 was concerning believers having friendships with false teachers. As long as your Church is teaching sound doctrine, and you are not agreeing with your non-Christian friends' beliefs then I don't think that you are contravening this passage.

As I was praying for you just now I had an image of someone (you) at the top of a cliff, holding onto the hands of two who were over the edge. You couldn't hold onto them alone, but holding onto you was your prayer friend, and behind him/her was your Church. The point being that we can reach out to others, but we need to keep rooted in the body of Christ ourselves. HTH.

Perhaps you would like to pray to see if that is the Lord speaking to you. Blessings my friend.

carolina16 said:

1 Corinthians 15:33 bad company corrupts good character.

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But that door swings both ways. Good character can turn people from bad character. A Christian who is friends with a non-believer is in a perfect position to share the gospel and get Jesus to change their life.