Need Prayers

MrMoe · Jun 15, 2021

I have not been in a good place mentally the last few days. Since I'm not been able to work due a pain I've been having I've spent the last month and a half at home. I have an appointment with a doctor but isn't until July. The last couple of days I've had so many bad memories that have come flooding back, memories I've tried to repress or banish. These memories have scarred me deeply. I've been bullied most of my life, I even remember me bullying someone in high school, something I regret deeply to this day. I've had depression in the past, and have social anxiety. I spend most of the time trying to banish these thoughts and being angry at God. I only really had friends in primary school but even those friends kind of grew distant from me. I've been a "loner" ever since. I hate going out, I hate being around crowds. I would prefer to life the rest of my life unseen and unknown by the world. It would save me from a lot more pain.
My mom and brother wants me to find someone. A girlfriend and future wife. But I don't see how that can happen, and time is quickly ticking by. I see myself as unlovable. It is a horrible feeling unlovable.
I've often wondered if God made me this way to teach me something, but the only thing I've learned is that people are cruel. There are simpler ways to teach something that doesn't require ruining a man's whole life. Since day one I have been in pain, either physical or emotional. This is why I can't say I love God. How could I love someone who did this to me. It seems I wasn't meant to be happy is this life.

Mark Quayle · Jun 15, 2021

The fact that this life is not for this life is small comfort, I know, but it is true and useful. Get to know God, and these things will grow small by comparison. God is taking you through this for his own sake, AND for your sake.

You are not alone in this. You also should simply interact with others, specially those who may be much like yourself. Don't try to be close --just get to know them-- remember they too have a comfort zone.

Marriage is a toughy! Believe it when I say that people like you tend to be needy when they 'open up', and that is hard on a marriage. I wouldn't get in a hurry, specially if you can get along without marriage. "Marriage is like becoming a church pastor --don't do it unless you can't not do it."

Jeffwhosoever · Jun 15, 2021

Try to find a part time activity where you believe in the cause and one where there is focus not on you but whoever you are helping. Sometimes being united in a worthy cause can ease our anxiety and improve our self-esteem to later taken on more challenging relationships. People in need seldom are picky or mean to those helping them. A church soup line is one idea.

Regardless I will pray for the Lord to show you more meaning in life and how you can contribute and overcome all your obstacles by walking with the Lord in faith.

Don't feel the pressure to get married anytime soon. One small step at a time. People who rush it end up regretting it so ask the others in your life to let you make such decisions in the Lord's will when the time is right.

LoricaLady · Jun 16, 2021

I pray you will receive healing spiritually, emotionally and physically. I pray that you will see that the Lord loves you dearly.

caring 2018 · Jun 16, 2021

I am sorry you have been struggling both mentally and physically. I am sorry to hear too that you have been scarred from people bullying you. Unfortunately, people are not perfect and make plenty of mistakes and sins. However, God is perfect. He loves us unconditionally, even when we don't love ourselves or feel loved by anyone else. The more we are reading God's word and praying with Him the closer we feel to Him and our relationship grows. As our relationship with our Heavenly Father gets stronger so does the ability to interact with others and experience both receiving and giving love. Letting go of the past and not focusing on hurts is very hard to do in our flesh, however, that is why the Lord gave us the Holy Spirit, He will intercede for us whenever we ask. God is just waiting for us to ask Him for help and to let Him be in control. This bible verse brings me such comfort. Jeremiah 29:11 I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord; plans to prosper and not harm you; plans to give you hope and a future. Here is an article you might find helpful. I will be praying for you. Keep your focus on God He loves you and is there for you. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat. Hugs and God Bless

believerwithallmyheart · Jun 16, 2021

Praying for you. Please don't get angry with God. Maybe He is just trying to test you. Or maybe he is trying to show you that you actually need Him, that without Him you can NOT succeed on your own. So once you accept Him deeply in your spirit and start believing and praying He may make it better for you. I am of course no preacher these are just some thoughts. I am sure God has a reason why this is happenning to you. I consider myself a shy person and it took an effort for me to socialize but I persevered and am much better at it now. Maybe at the beginning just try to think ahead a few thing or topics you are going to say and then gradually it will be much easier to just socialize and find things to say right on the spot. Hope this helps.

Deade · Jun 16, 2021

I was a missionary for a few years and now my own grown children bully me. They have different values for Christians than I do. I wrote two books on Christian values and prophecy.

They disagree with me on much of what I wrote. Now, they say they actually want me dead and the organization they are with intends to carry that out.

If I should disappear soon, it was a group of [they say] Christians that goes by "The Way." My adopted son Cecil Eades has intentions of being a spiritual leader with them. So look to him if I should suddenly die. Please pray for me.

caring 2018 · Jun 21, 2021

How are you doing? I have been praying for you. Hugs

brinny · Jun 21, 2021

MrMoe said:
I have not been in a good place mentally the last few days. Since I'm not been able to work due a pain I've been having I've spent the last month and a half at home. I have an appointment with a doctor but isn't until July. The last couple of days I've had so many bad memories that have come flooding back, memories I've tried to repress or banish. These memories have scarred me deeply. I've been bullied most of my life, I even remember me bullying someone in high school, something I regret deeply to this day. I've had depression in the past, and have social anxiety. I spend most of the time trying to banish these thoughts and being angry at God. I only really had friends in primary school but even those friends kind of grew distant from me. I've been a "loner" ever since. I hate going out, I hate being around crowds. I would prefer to life the rest of my life unseen and unknown by the world. It would save me from a lot more pain.
My mom and brother wants me to find someone. A girlfriend and future wife. But I don't see how that can happen, and time is quickly ticking by. I see myself as unlovable. It is a horrible feeling unlovable.
I've often wondered if God made me this way to teach me something, but the only thing I've learned is that people are cruel. There are simpler ways to teach something that doesn't require ruining a man's whole life. Since day one I have been in pain, either physical or emotional. This is why I can't say I love God. How could I love someone who did this to me. It seems I wasn't meant to be happy is this life.

Lifting all of what you posted up to our God, Who IS a Healer and our Comforter, and a very PRESENT Help in our times of trouble, Who can make POSSIBLE what may seem IMPOSSIBLE. Use Him as a blog, a journal. Pour out your soul to Him, pain, frustration, anger, and all. You, along with your tears, and the shredded pieces of your heart, and your crushed soul, are precious to Him. Take a step towards Him. He will do the rest.

Father may it be so, in Jesus' name, amen. (((hug)))

brinny · Jun 21, 2021

Deade said:
I was a missionary for a few years and now my own grown children bully me. They have different values for Christians than I do. I wrote two books on Christian values and prophecy.

They disagree with me on much of what I wrote. Now, they say they actually want me dead and the organization they are with intends to carry that out.

If I should disappear soon, it was a group of [they say] Christians that goes by "The Way." My adopted son Cecil Eades has intentions of being a spiritual leader with them. So look to him if I should suddenly die. Please pray for me.

Praying for your protection, and that God Himself takes up your cause, as He comforts you, strengthens, and sustains you at this most heartbreaking time. Father may it be so, in Jesus name, amen. (((hug)))

Mayflower1 · Jun 21, 2021

Praying for both your mental and physical health. I pray you find comfort during this time. I know you cannot say you love God right now, but He loves You. His Word has the answers and pray you find peace within it's pages

MrMoe · Jun 22, 2021

caring 2018 said:
How are you doing? I have been praying for you. Hugs

I'm doing a bit better, thank you.

brinny · Jun 23, 2021

MrMoe said:
I'm doing a bit better, thank you.

That is good to hear. Thank you for the update. (((hug)))

caring 2018 · Jun 25, 2021

caring 2018 said:
How are you doing? I have been praying for you. Hugs

This is wonderful to hear. Just always remember God is there for you. Reach out to other believer to encourage you and know God will always give you the strength you need. Hugs

Jeffwhosoever · Jun 26, 2021

Wonderful to hear this good news!

Need Prayers

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everlovin' shiner of light in dark places

Hello my Name is "Child of the One True King"

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everlovin' shiner of light in dark places

Active Member

Faithful Servant & Seminary Student

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