I cant repent. I have tried, yet it wasnt meant to be. So basically what you’re saying is, i should stop wasting my time trying to get saved, and just accept that im going to hell. All because i disagree with the whole sexual immorality thing. Trust me, i have thought this very thought many times over.
Actually, I'm not saying that at all, though I agree, you can't 'get saved' as the longtime Christian notion of the work of man is concerned. Regeneration is the work of God, not of man. As you agree with the five points, if you understand them you agree that the unregenerate cannot repent, but also has no interest in repentance and submission. You really don't know if you can repent or not --you are just tired of being played. I am very familiar with the concept.
The current climate of Christianity, and I don't know how long it has been so, is to concentrate on certain things as of prime importance, in part because the Bible is also insistent on the idea of not being governed by the flesh. The Bible also says that the one who practices sin is submitting himself to be the slave of sin. But what Christianity is remiss in admitting, is that the flesh is not of itself the sin, but that it rebels. The desire is not sin. But Christianity has gone beyond that to do what the Bible specifically deals with --the hypocritical apprehension to the law to the point of going beyond the law. We have become a law unto ourselves in ignoring the two major laws (love God with all your being, and love your neighbor as yourself) by defining them according to "if you love me, you will keep my commandments", the most obvious ones being of the nature of giving in to desires of the flesh. But, "Although these have a reputation for wisdom by promoting self-made religion, false humility, and severe treatment of the body, they are not of any value in curbing self-indulgence." (Colossians 2:23) In the NIV it says: "Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence."
You have probably already thought about this, but since you couldn't resolve it, have given up thinking about it: Your body desires food. It is both pleasurable and necessary. The sin is the excess, and the indulgence in actual deeds prohibited by God.
These things must not be dealt with as the only evidence of unGodliness. You may be satisfied with your fair treatment of others, for example, but is God? Are lies no worse than sexual excess? They can certainly be more subtle.
As reformed, we know God is in control of all things, and, I hate to say it, because this fact is harmful to God, yet he does it for his own sake: That in spite or our great sins and self-importance, we are precisely where he has planned for us to be at this point. Your obedience is the work of God --not that it isn't also yours to do, but it will not happen but by God's work. I'm not saying that you must wait til you see or comprehend God changing that sin, but that you must press on nonetheless.
Also, in the end, we are not our own judges, but God is.
Meanwhile, I urge you to read the whole Bible looking for an answer to this, until you find your focus being adjusted. Particularly, in the Gospels, and in Paul's references to the subject, look for how Jesus lived without sin, and without a sexual partner or sexual excess. He was no less human than you and I are. He depended on his Father in Heaven, not on his own Godhood.
God may have a reason more important than even obedience to take you through this: He is producing, if you are indeed of the elect, in you the precise member of the Body of Christ, and the Bride of Christ, that he intended for you to be when he founded the universe, and when he created you. If you think you are not of the elect, you are being used for HIS specific purpose for which he created you --his glory, (which is an astounding fact in and of itself), and you would do well to talk to him about it. Remember John 6:37 "All that My Father gives Me will come to Me; and the one who comes to Me I will most certainly not cast out."
I'm with you here, bro. My own situation is not resolved either, and I tire of 'being played'; I give up far too easily, yet I have come love him and need him more desperately than ever (which is a good thing) and to be constantly more and more amazed at his forebearance and forgiveness of what he
KNEW I would be like when he made me for his purposes. His agony is becoming my pain. My admiration of him has squeezed out questions of whether I am even of the elect, in favor of the expectation ('hope') of "seeing him as he is", except when I turn my back for any length of time for the purpose of self-indulgence.
Also, much much scripture memory is wonderful in bringing to mind to you the things you already know to be true, when your flesh would rather have forgotten them. Don't be lazy.
Try not to be a glutton. I like the NIV in Song of Solomon, where the KJV says,
"...stir not up nor awake my love, until he please.”, the NIV says,
"...Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." I'm not going to speculate which is more accurate --the point is the same, I think --do not overindulge. And lest you have forgotten, the body is trainable. God bless you, bro. If my spirit is any witness, you are indeed of the elect. I'm with you here.
