I have two different questions.
In the last eight months, my life has been a sort of terrifying rollercoaster. I don't want to bother you with the details, let's just say I have had many traumatic experiences, and it's not that my life had been easy before.
But here I am. Shaken, to say the least.
Sometimes my heart physically hurts.
I have just started a well paid and nice job, but they are starting right now in this state. It means I am in a high position (I still don't understand how I ended up there, but I am grateful nonetheless) but in practice everything must be done from scratch, my training was good to nothing and is a sort of swim or sink situation, and sometimes I sink.
This job for the next weeks is going to be really demanding, in terms of time. And it doesn't help. I try my best and work all day.
But I am shaken, and my heart hurts.
In this situation, I find myself unable to pray, due to both physical and mental exhaustion. Not to speak about the emotional one.
I am unable to pray.
How do I go back to pray?
I feel the need to do it, and then I find myself unable to.
I just have this lump of pain and I can't pray.
How do I solve this? Any advice?
And the second question.
I have been suffering a lot. I have reached out to my pastor's wife for help. Because the pastor wouldn't talk to me, women must talk to his wife, which I understand. Anyway. While I was describing my pain, she was clearly doing the dishes. I heard it from the phone. I got a lot of "Yeah". "Yeah". And she sounded-and she was- annoyed.
I would add that it was the third time I reached out to her in eight months. Because I needed someone to talk with about the -really- traumatic stuff happened to me.
In the end I got the classic "I will pray for you" and not much more.
I annoyed her.
I know that pastors are very busy, but I annoyed her.
And now I feel embarrassed. Because I shared my pain with someone who was annoyed by it.
I don't want to go back to church. I don't need to see her pitiful eyes and her due words, and to watch-again- the body language of annoyance.
I want to go somewhere else.
Am I wrong?
Thank you in advance for any advice.
May God bless you.
In the last eight months, my life has been a sort of terrifying rollercoaster. I don't want to bother you with the details, let's just say I have had many traumatic experiences, and it's not that my life had been easy before.
But here I am. Shaken, to say the least.
Sometimes my heart physically hurts.
I have just started a well paid and nice job, but they are starting right now in this state. It means I am in a high position (I still don't understand how I ended up there, but I am grateful nonetheless) but in practice everything must be done from scratch, my training was good to nothing and is a sort of swim or sink situation, and sometimes I sink.
This job for the next weeks is going to be really demanding, in terms of time. And it doesn't help. I try my best and work all day.
But I am shaken, and my heart hurts.
In this situation, I find myself unable to pray, due to both physical and mental exhaustion. Not to speak about the emotional one.
I am unable to pray.
How do I go back to pray?
I feel the need to do it, and then I find myself unable to.
I just have this lump of pain and I can't pray.
How do I solve this? Any advice?
And the second question.
I have been suffering a lot. I have reached out to my pastor's wife for help. Because the pastor wouldn't talk to me, women must talk to his wife, which I understand. Anyway. While I was describing my pain, she was clearly doing the dishes. I heard it from the phone. I got a lot of "Yeah". "Yeah". And she sounded-and she was- annoyed.
I would add that it was the third time I reached out to her in eight months. Because I needed someone to talk with about the -really- traumatic stuff happened to me.
In the end I got the classic "I will pray for you" and not much more.
I annoyed her.
I know that pastors are very busy, but I annoyed her.
And now I feel embarrassed. Because I shared my pain with someone who was annoyed by it.
I don't want to go back to church. I don't need to see her pitiful eyes and her due words, and to watch-again- the body language of annoyance.
I want to go somewhere else.
Am I wrong?
Thank you in advance for any advice.
May God bless you.