Matthew 19:29 VS Deuteronomy 5:16

Michie · Jun 3, 2021

Chrystal-J said:
My 29 year old son threaten to walk out when they started in on him once. They immediately backed off. Makes me sad that my parents act like school-yard bullies. It may get to the point where I have to walk out too.

People with those tendencies seem to feed off that type of thing. Your son said the right thing imo.

Chrystal-J · Jun 3, 2021

Carl Emerson said:
Have a chat to your priest...

Good idea!

Chrystal-J · Jun 3, 2021

Michie said:
People with those tendencies seem to feed off that type of thing. Your son said the right thing imo.

I agree 100%, it's just do I have the nerve to do what needs to be done?

I try to respect my parents, but maybe the only thing they understand is tough talk.

pdudgeon · Jun 3, 2021

Chrystal-J said:
And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. (Matthew 19: 29)
VS
"Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you. (Deuteronomy 5:16)

I want to honor my parents, but they are making it extremely difficult. My mother is an atheist who seems to despise religion. She told me I was making a mistake taking my grandkids to church. She called me insulting names. It was just one thing after another. She doesn't understand why I go to church and it seems to irritate her. I want nothing more than to honor my parents, but they make it very hard. I'm almost to the point where I don't want to go to their house anymore.

The bible says these two different things regarding parents and I don't know which way to go.

P.S. Prayers appreciated!

pdudgeon · Jun 3, 2021

We honor the Lord first, we honor our spouse as ourselves, and as adults, we honor our parents as a gift from the Lord.
In these days moreso than in previous ones, we are called to two things:
1. Honor
2. Obedience.
Both of these things require more discernment than ever before, because the choices now are literally eternal life or eternal death.
So choose honor first, and that will make the choices easier for you.

Michie · Jun 3, 2021

Chrystal-J said:
I agree 100%, it's just do I have the nerve to do what needs to be done? I try to respect my parents, but maybe the only thing they understand is tough talk.

You can still respect your parents and love them while being matter of fact. Respect does not equal being a door mat. Healthy boundaries is not a sin. You have to make it work for all of you somehow.

Carl Emerson · Jun 3, 2021

Honour does not mean agree...

Chrystal-J · Jun 3, 2021

Michie said:
You can still respect your parents and love them while being matter of fact. Respect does not equal being a door mat. Healthy boundaries is not a sin. You have to make it work for all of you somehow.

I did stand up to my dad when he was browbeating my brother for no reason. I said "Danny didn't fly 1,000 miles to listen to you complain!" My dad stopped talking and walked out of the room.
Now, if I can just stand up for myself.

paul1149 · Jun 3, 2021

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. - Gal 6:1

The danger, I know from experience, is to react at their level, and get emotional. But if you can through prayer come to peace within yourself on the situation -not to say you condone what they're doing, but you come to inner spiritual peace despite the situation, you will have great power when you speak what is true and right, with gentleness. They are trapped in darkness, and you bringing Light to bear on their condition terrifies the spirits driving them.

With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone. - Pro 25:15

Chrystal-J · Jun 3, 2021

paul1149 said:
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. - Gal 6:1

The danger, I know from experience, is to react at their level, and get emotional. But if you can through prayer come to peace within yourself on the situation -not to say you condone what they're doing, but you come to inner spiritual peace despite the situation, you will have great power when you speak what is true and right, with gentleness. They are trapped in darkness, and you bringing Light to bear on their condition terrifies the spirits driving them.

With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone. - Pro 25:15

I agree. There is a darkness surrounding them. The fact that nothing makes them genuinely happy denotes that something is wrong. I feel my mother's rejection of Christ has attracted negative spirits to the house. My dad is on the fence spiritually, but...16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. (revelation 3:15)

Bob Crowley · Jun 4, 2021

Do you live in the same house or somewhere else?

Chrystal-J · Jun 4, 2021

Bob Crowley said:
Do you live in the same house or somewhere else?

I live about 20 miles away. I have debilitating health issues. So, driving out there isn't easy. I make all that effort, only to get treated like some unwanted stranger.
I can stand up to them regarding others, I just need to get the nerve to stand up for myself. Not going to be easy, but I'm gonna have to do it.

Bob Crowley · Jun 5, 2021

This may sound un-Christian, but I don't think they're going to change, especially your mother. You can pray for them, but even God won't force people to change.

So unless you have to visit them, I don't know why you would bother. They may be your parents, but you have to look after yourself and your own family first.

I had a very negative and cruel father, who never changed. If anything he got worse as the years went by.

In the end I just gave up on him as a waste of time, and I still think that way. I have good personal reason for believing he's in Hell, due to something that happened the night he died (apart from the teaching of Christ and the church regarding unrepentant sinners), but the fact is that it was his choice to keep on acting that way. Nobody forced him to.

The choice to act the way they do is theirs, not yours. Why let them keep mistreating you whenever you visit? If it was me, I'd keep my distance, and only go there when I absolutely had to.

As for standing up to them, fine. But in the long run I still think they won't change, unfortunately.

Chrystal-J · Jun 5, 2021

Bob Crowley said:
This may sound un-Christian, but I don't think they're going to change, especially your mother. You can pray for them, but even God won't force people to change.

So unless you have to visit them, I don't know why you would bother. They may be your parents, but you have to look after yourself and your own family first.

I had a very negative and cruel father, who never changed. If anything he got worse as the years went by.

In the end I just gave up on him as a waste of time, and I still think that way. I have good personal reason for believing he's in Hell, due to something that happened the night he died (apart from the teaching of Christ and the church regarding unrepentant sinners), but the fact is that it was his choice to keep on acting that way. Nobody forced him to.

The choice to act the way they do is theirs, not yours. Why let them keep mistreating you whenever you visit? If it was me, I'd keep my distance, and only go there when I absolutely had to.

As for standing up to them, fine. But in the long run I still think they won't change, unfortunately.

Thanks for your input! I appreciate your sharing. I often wonder myself why I keep bothering to go out there. That's why I posted the scripture from Deuteronomy. It says to honor your mother and father. I'm trying to obey God, but my parents are not making it easy. The verse from Matthew had me thinking that perhaps I need to focus more on church matters and less on my family matters. My parents have made their decision to be miserable, maybe I should just let them be. No matter what I end up doing, I'll continue to pray for them, like I did for my sister who just passed away. (That they become saved by the blood of Christ and choose to worship Him.)

paul1149 · Jun 5, 2021

I want to be the last one to say someone will not change. All things are possible through Christ. But nonetheless we have to act with wisdom toward the outsiders (Col 4.5; cf Mt 7:6 ). Change is not always promised.

I had long-standing serious problems with my own mother, God bless her. I had to grow up out of them, and doing so took a long time. Finally, the Lord gave me a dream showing clearly that she was not going to change, but also that despite her unacceptable behavior, at heart she truly loved me. This set me free on one hand to stop trying to do the impossible, and it also comforted my heart greatly to be assured of my mother's love. I was set free, and since then my appreciation of her has only grown, even with her now gone.

Each one of us has to decide whether it's turn the other check or shake the dust off our heels territory, or at what distance we can best love a person. But either way, we are called to peace, and we should not allow any situation to rob us of that precious heritage, the peace that passes understanding.

Chrystal-J · Jun 5, 2021

paul1149 said:
I want to be the last one to say someone will not change. All things are possible through Christ. But nonetheless we have to act with wisdom toward the outsiders (Col 4.5; cf Mt 7:6 ). Change is not always promised.

I had long-standing serious problems with my own mother, God bless her. I had to grow up out of them, and doing so took a long time. Finally, the Lord gave me a dream showing clearly that she was not going to change, but also that despite her unacceptable behavior, at heart she truly loved me. This set me free on one hand to stop trying to do the impossible, and it also comforted my heart greatly to be assured of my mother's love. I was set free, and since then my appreciation of her has only grown, even with her now gone.

Each one of us has to decide whether it's turn the other check or shake the dust off our heels territory, or at what distance we can best love a person. But either way, we are called to peace, and we should not allow any situation to rob us of that precious heritage, the peace that passes understanding.

I feel as much as my parents are capable, they love me and my siblings. I feel all of this is rooted in their troubled childhoods. (They almost never talk about their childhoods.) The one time I asked my dad if his grandmother was nice, all he said was "No". He didn't elaborate. So, I'm trying to be understanding. Yet, I don't want to be their scape-goat either.
Thank you for your thoughtful post. Truly some good ideas to ponder.

Matthew 19:29 VS Deuteronomy 5:16

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The one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

The one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

Traditional Catholic

Traditional Catholic

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

The one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

that your faith might rest in the power of God

The one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

Well-Known Member

The one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

Well-Known Member

The one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

that your faith might rest in the power of God

The one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

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