29 & Never Dated

DragonFox91 said:

All my 'mentors' have or have had the 'it'll happen when it happens' approach. How is that good advice for me, b/c men tend to need to be the one to get the ball rolling???

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The world is a different place now and there's no better way. Don't be disheartened though. Jesus is with you suffering alongside. He doesn't want it this way either. It's hurting Him more than it is hurting you. Things are going to change for the better. Until then, keep trusting and find comfort in His presence.

Well, I usually 'stick' right before an enormous breakthrough. Maybe over the next 12 to 18 months you'll make a few life altering strides and the life/social skills with come as a byproduct. Perhaps THEN is the time for Mrs Right to come along.

This is why everyone and their budgie is suggesting that you take on a few new hobbies and key in a primary focus somewhere. Because your life will change when YOU change what you do.

Either way, five years from now you'll be married with a kid on the way. I don't think we'll be seeing much from you even two years from now to be honest.

Just get your head down now and start diversifying yourself. OBVIOUSLY this is what you're meant to be doing. It's not what you want to hear, but... It's hustling time for you.

DragonFox91 said:

It is not a good morning today. Nothing I try works. I try so hard & make zero progress. Nothing changes. I hate this so much. I want to cry.

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When He had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” And Simon answered, “Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets.” And when they had done this, they enclosed a large number of fish, and their nets were breaking. Luke 5:4-6.

Bottom line: Everything is right before your eyes but you won't find it unless you listen to Jesus and do as He says. Nothing else will work but it's all in your power through obedience.

DragonFox91 said:

Don't I have like, 10 more years, to have natural kids?

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You are a male, right? There is practically no limit for male fertility. Depends only on your healthy life style.

Female ability to got pregnant and to have a healthy baby is a problem after 35. So, for you, it only means to look for more and more younger girls compared to you, if the spreading of your DNA is your goal.

DragonFox91 said:

At what age does it go from 'you may marry someday' to 'you probably won't'?????? 40? 50?

Also, the only single girl at Sunday School now has a boyfriend.

This is depressing. How do you meet single girls???? What do I have do? Why is this so hard???

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Why are you so afraid of a single life, in the first place?

Most women today are not a marriage material so you would just pierce yourself with many problems and much stress. Single life is much better than that. Studies confirm that single men who have never been married are happier than other men.

Stats are clear - 50% of marriages do not last. And 75% of people in a marriage cheated on their partners.

That means that many people from the other 50% who stayed in a marriage either cheated or were cheated on. So not a fairy tale "living happily ever after", at all.

You never know what God is doing in a person’s life using their desires. If anyone is in Christ, then marriage is all worth it no matter what the cost one has to pay.

GospelS said:

If anyone is in Christ, then marriage is all worth it no matter what the cost one has to pay.

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Many Christians who went through divorce, whose children were taken away from them or who were cheated on, disagree.

We make mistakes and bad decisions in our life. Its worth only in the meaning of a learned lesson, but not in the meaning of "it made us happier" or in the meaning of "we should go for it".

myst33 said:

Many Christians who got through divorce or were cheated on, disagree.

We make mistakes and bad decisions in our life. Its worth only in the meaning of a learned lesson, but not in the meaning of "it made us happier" or in the meaning of "we should go for it".

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Let them disagree. They know not that life isn’t about being happy. If there’s any true happiness then it’s in laying one’s life down for what is not deserving. The cross isn’t a happy thing to experience or look at it yet Christ came and pursued it for His bride knowing she won’t return the same.

Nice to see that everyone is enjoying the weekend.

GospelS said:

Let them disagree. They know not that life isn’t about being happy. If there’s any true happiness then it’s in laying one’s life down for what is not deserving. The cross isn’t a happy thing to experience or look at it yet Christ came and pursued it for His bride knowing she won’t return the same.

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We are not supposed to wilfully seek for troubles in wordly affairs, or to prefer unhappiness.

myst33 said:

We are not supposed to wilfully seek for troubles in wordly affairs, or to prefer unhappiness.

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Yet if someone wants it then we are not to discourage them for it is a God-given desire to seek a relationship and be married. Everyone has a calling and that's what defines happiness for each. Many people have already chosen celibacy for life. There are only a few men and women who still seek to be married. You do a huge disservice to good women because of some bad women by discouraging men who desire to be married. It doesn't help either way. You are only making them more depressed. You don't need to harden their hearts towards marriage and women. It is better to die with a desire not fulfilled than never desire. Instead of telling them about failed marriages and most women not being marriage material, try to point them to Christ, encourage in hope, comfort them and share in their suffering.

GospelS said:

Yet if someone wants it then we are not to discourage them

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Wrong. We are obligated to warn people when they want a harmful thing so much that the lack of it makes them desperate, while they should actually rejoice.

GospelS said:

for it is a God-given desire to seek a relationship and be married.

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Wrong. Its a flesh-given desire. Every animal looks for a sexual mate. It has its place in our lowest, oldest parts of brain we share even with lobsters. The marriage thing is a human expression of "this one is mine and this one is yours".

Christianity prefers and recommends being single.

myst33 said:

Wrong. We are obligated to warn people when they want a harmful thing.


Wrong. Its a nature-given desire. Every animal looks for a mate. It has its place in our lowest, oldest parts of brain.

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You just need some love. I tired but I see that words will not help you see what I'm trying to say. Thanks for the discussion.

GospelS said:

You just need some love.

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We all need some love. It does not mean it must be the love of a woman.

Hope all is well with you Dragonfox?

DragonFox91 said:

I'm doing better.

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I think for you it's just moments that we just happen to witness.

And to be honest, I'd rather you DID vent. And better to do it here than in the workplace. Everyone needs to bleed the radiator eventually (that's ALL of us, even I do it.)

I myself am not seeking anyone because the older I get the more problems and baggage I have in my life.