This was from Me

GreekOrthodox · May 14, 2021

Serious question here is do you have other interests? The reason why I'm asking is that from what I'm reading, your relationships are being approached through this saint or another. It reminds me of a girl that went out with during my sophomore and junior years in college. She was a VERY devout Catholic and everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, was prefaced with some reference to Catholicism. She was involved in the charismatic Catholic movement and as a run-of-the-mill Lutheran boy, I had no idea what she was going on about at times. I remember that she said she either wanted to become a nun or married with at least 10 children. Uhhhh, how about 2.5 kids with a dog and a goldfish which was more my thinking at 20 years old. It became too much for me and we didn't really break up but just drifted away from each other.

ArmyMatt · May 14, 2021

SingularityOne said:
Hmm... maybe another way I can ask this is how should I undertsand my questions when looking at these passages of St John of Tobolsk?:

“In God’s allowance both good and evil wills work for God, and no matter their original intent, in the final analysis everything works towards the attainment of the best possible goals.

In truth, the saints ascribed everything that came upon them in life, both pleasant and unpleasant, to the will and action of God, because they did not pay attention to the sins of others, but evaluated all human actions as either a gift from God or as having been allowed by God for their own sins. The saints reasoned thusly: the all-benevolent God would never have allowed anything evil, if He did not know that from this evil He would produce a multitude of great blessings.”

that's definitely one to look at

SingularityOne · May 14, 2021

ArmyMatt said:
that's definitely one to look at

Any others you’d recommend looking at?

SingularityOne · May 14, 2021

GreekOrthodox said:
Serious question here is do you have other interests? The reason why I'm asking is that from what I'm reading, your relationships are being approached through this saint or another. It reminds me of a girl that went out with during my sophomore and junior years in college. She was a VERY devout Catholic and everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, was prefaced with some reference to Catholicism. She was involved in the charismatic Catholic movement and as a run-of-the-mill Lutheran boy, I had no idea what she was going on about at times. I remember that she said she either wanted to become a nun or married with at least 10 children. Uhhhh, how about 2.5 kids with a dog and a goldfish which was more my thinking at 20 years old. It became too much for me and we didn't really break up but just drifted away from each other.

Yeah, fitness, finance, geopolitics, psychology and some other stuff. The breakup wasn’t really a “drifting,” but more of a lack of conflict resolution due to variables from her past and mine. I’d DM you for specifics, but the specifics aren’t really good to share on a forum, even though it is anonymous.
Really sad because we really clicked at the beginning of the relationship, but as time moved on and certain things happened, things got complicated. But anyways, I definetly learned to be less legalistic and more discerning through this relationship. The regret is strong though.

GreekOrthodox · May 14, 2021

SingularityOne said:
Yeah, fitness, finance, geopolitics, psychology and some other stuff. The breakup wasn’t really a “drifting,” but more of a lack of conflict resolution due to variables from her past and mine. I’d DM you for specifics, but the specifics aren’t really good to share on a forum, even though it is anonymous.
Really sad because we really clicked at the beginning of the relationship, but as time moved on and certain things happened, things got complicated. But anyways, I definetly learned to be less legalistic and more discerning through this relationship. The regret is strong though.

And no need to list the specifics. I simply remembered her and quite honestly, I have no idea where she ended up after we graduated college. No idea if she became a nun or had 10+ kids.

SingularityOne · May 14, 2021

GreekOrthodox said:
And no need to list the specifics. I simply remembered her and quite honestly, I have no idea where she ended up after we graduated college. No idea if she became a nun or had 10+ kids.

10+ kids sounds like it could have been an interesting reality TV show.

ArmyMatt · May 14, 2021

SingularityOne said:
Any others you’d recommend looking at?

St Maximos the Confessor

SingularityOne · May 14, 2021

ArmyMatt said:
St Maximos the Confessor

Any specific treatises come to mind I could start with on this topic?

ArmyMatt · May 14, 2021

SingularityOne said:
Any specific treatises come to mind I could start with on this topic?

he talks a lot about God's Will, especially the distinction between what God truly wills (His ontological will) and what He allows (His permissive will).

SingularityOne · May 14, 2021

ArmyMatt said:
he talks a lot about God's Will, especially the distinction between what God truly wills (His ontological will) and what He allows (His permissive will).

Yeah, learning the distinction and what each entails would be helpful.

ArmyMatt · May 14, 2021

SingularityOne said:
Yeah, learning the distinction and what each entails would be helpful.

indeed it is

SingularityOne · May 14, 2021

ArmyMatt said:
indeed it is

I’m having a hard time finding something from him that talks about the distinction. Do you remember anything that focused on it?

ArmyMatt · May 14, 2021

SingularityOne said:
I’m having a hard time finding something from him that talks about the distinction. Do you remember anything that focused on it?

no, I just remember it being a point in Seminary. it's probably scattered in a lot of his stuff.

SingularityOne · May 14, 2021

ArmyMatt said:
no, I just remember it being a point in Seminary. it's probably scattered in a lot of his stuff.

Okay!

SalemsConcordance · May 15, 2021

St Ignatius Brianchaninov is a great read and help in intercession when feeling slack, or trudging around in regret - he reads like a military general commanding you to fight the unseen warfare - including your regret and overthinking!

A Saints commentary noted that regret can become an idol. I know in myself that (in the past with women) regret eventually became pride of "I can't believe my holy self could do such a thing!" or judgement, "if only they had done such and such, I would have done such and such."

But, as St Ignatius says, "If during the battle you are defeated because of some unforeseen circumstances, do not be distressed and fall into despair. Just begin the battle anew...Begin the unseen warfare, fight bravely and constantly, and admit your defeats bravely." The Field, P. 105, On Habits).

Father John Krestiankin reposed just last decade, so is very close to our times, and saw what faced young and worldly people. He wrote many simple letters to layman, and many say he had (the highest / most difficult) virtue of discnerment.

May God Give You Wisdom! The Letters of Fr. John Krestiankin. Letters to Laypeople. Part 4
Get to know yourself
Dear M.!
It would be good for you to work as a chef, and until you are twenty-five years old, root yourself in Orthodox life and in the Church, getting to know yourself. There is no need for you at this point to discuss monasticism or marriage. That would be all too early. You need to grow some more in order to choose your cross consciously and responsibly. Also, remember that without your parents’ blessing you should neither join a monastery nor start a family. Work also on bringing your parents to God. There is no other way.
May the Lord give you wisdom.

"God rules the world—only God, and no one else." In Memory of Fr. John (Krestiankin) / Православие.Ru
Gods Providence
“The world is governed by God’s Providence alone, and in this is salvation for one who believes; in this is the strength to endure earthly sorrows.”

“My dears, the world is governed by God’s Providence and not by us mortals.”

“I will tell you from experience that the sooner we accept what God has given us, the easier it will be to bear God’s good yoke, His easy yoke. It becomes heavy from our inner resistance.”

“Such a time has come when only faith that God’s Providence orders life can overcome all the hardships of life.”

“Lord! You know all things; do with me as You will. Amen.”

“There are no forgotten people in God, and God’s Providence watches over everyone. God rules the world—only God, and no one else.”

“The main thing in spiritual life is faith in God’s Providence and discernment with counsel.”

“Throughout all times, the world is governed by God’s Providence; and shall we pronounce judgment on it?”

St Ignatius Brianchaninov - Faith and hope in God’s Providence
Sayings of St. Ignatius Brianchaninov

There is no such thing as blind happenstance! God rules the world, and all that happens in heaven and under the heavens happens according to the wise and omnipotent God, unfathomable in His wisdom and omnipotence, and unfathomable in His governance.

If there is not a single event that is secret from God, then we must glorify God for everything that happens.

It is necessary to assure ourselves that God governs the fate of world and of each person. Life experiences are not long to prove and confirm this Gospel teaching.

All things pass—both the bad and the good—and neither men, nor demons can do anything if God does not allow it.

Why does our soul rebel against God’s will and allowances? Because we have not revered God as God…

From living faith in God is born complete submission to God, and from submission to God is born peace in our thoughts and calm in our hearts.

From seeing God’s Providence, in the soul develops profound meekness and unfailing love of neighbor, which no winds can disturb or agitate.

God watches over the times, events in society, and personal fates.

The vision of God’s Providence preserves and grows our faith in God.

The Christian who keeps his gaze fixed upon God’s Providence preserves constant courage and unshakable steadfastness, even amidst terrible misfortunes.

Before the sight of God’s Providence, not only can temporary sorrows not stand, but also those that await a person when he crosses the threshold into eternity beyond the grave.

A Christian should never and for no reason worry, for God’s Providence carries him in its arms. Our only care should be that we would ever remain faithful to the Lord.

That one soldier has fallen does not mean the entire army is defeated.

More letters:
The Letters of Fr. John Krestiankin

ArmyMatt · May 15, 2021

SingularityOne said:
Okay!

no probs! happy hunting!

also, I think St John Chrysostom has a book called On Divine Providence which sounds like it'd get into this stuff too.

SingularityOne · May 15, 2021

SalemsConcordance said:
St Ignatius Brianchaninov is a great read and help in intercession when feeling slack, or trudging around in regret - he reads like a military general commanding you to fight the unseen warfare - including your regret and overthinking!

A Saints commentary noted that regret can become an idol. I know in myself that (in the past with women) regret eventually became pride of "I can't believe my holy self could do such a thing!" or judgement, "if only they had done such and such, I would have done such and such."

But, as St Ignatius says, "If during the battle you are defeated because of some unforeseen circumstances, do not be distressed and fall into despair. Just begin the battle anew...Begin the unseen warfare, fight bravely and constantly, and admit your defeats bravely." The Field, P. 105, On Habits).

Father John Krestiankin reposed just last decade, so is very close to our times, and saw what faced young and worldly people. He wrote many simple letters to layman, and many say he had (the highest / most difficult) virtue of discnerment.

More letters:
The Letters of Fr. John Krestiankin

This is so helpful. Thanks for linking these. Yeah, ruminating on regret instead of ruminating on these passages and prayer really does create an idol. What could have been done differently on my side is the real idol at the moment. It really flips between the pride and judgement you speak of too... depending on the stage of grief I’m experiencing while I detatch from her with time.

SingularityOne · May 15, 2021

ArmyMatt said:
no probs! happy hunting!

also, I think St John Chrysostom has a book called On Divine Providence which sounds like it'd get into this stuff too.

I have it! I may have to get to reading it after this other book called “Christ, The Alpha and Omega” by Bishop Athanasius Yevtich

ArmyMatt · May 15, 2021

SingularityOne said:
I have it! I may have to get to reading it after this other book called “Christ, The Alpha and Omega” by Bishop Athanasius Yevtich

nice!

This was from Me

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