Whats on your mind...?!

This was a response to a thread I didn't know was only for a certain group. I removed it but I still wanted to post it, so I'm posting it here...

I'm not much into her but Beth Moore is not wrong. I just wish she would have called Trumpism out for the idolatry that it is. Also none of this happened in a vacuum. Several years ago I got a real sense that "something" was off concerning some of the popular "beliefs" evangelicals were going around preaching. When I finally sat down with the Word, I found out the Word wasn't saying what they said. What they said sounded like the Word but upon further investigation it wasn't. I also witnessed Christian radio and TV (700 Club) become more and more political to the point where I had to turn it off.

I'll go on record to say that I believe that whole "Cyrus" thing was nothing more than a lie that appealed to the flesh. I believe it was the way evangelicals justified their support for Trump. For me the issue was never about Trump because he wasn't living anything and he wasn't trying to.

The problem for me is the evangelicals who are following Trump, caught up in full blown idolatry and claiming to know God. They are oblivious that they no longer have a testimony in Christ with some of us who are Christian and to many of those who are not. Their reputation is trash and they have no moral high ground to stand on no matter how many times they say they're pro-life, God's name, or quote Scriptures.

When some of these evangelical Trump supporters start talking about what Trump has supposedly done for Christians, IMHO it has a cheap feel to it considering what they gave up. Talk about a hoodwink. It pays to remember whatever the world can give you, the world can take it away. We are to put our trust in God through His Son Jesus Christ. Jesus said if He be lifted up not man. Too bad many evangelicals following Trump have forgotten this if they ever knew it to begin with.

Selah

"The years teach much which the days never know." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Maybe one sign of maturity or reaching a certain age is realizing when you can't change someone's mind. People's choices are based on how they see the world and that becomes so entangled in their sense of identity that to challenge their beliefs on certain issues is to challenge their identity itself.

Like me telling a family member to wait on the vaccine. No matter what I say, they're not gonna be skeptical about it, because they've trusted the government and scientists most of their lives. If the news says you need it ASAP then they believe it. All I can do is hope the vaccine doesn't have negative ramifications.

I don't know if some people are starting to feel a little "brazen" with there being vaccines available or what but there is definitely something in the air...hmmmm

having a difficult time at church

About 1 year ago today was when a guy I was dating possibly made a connection with another girl a thousand miles away. Looking back, I often wonder if he had reached out to her through online dating or if it actually was through mutual friends. It is hard for me to tell, because during those seven weeks there was times that he just would disappear and he'd apologize, but never explained why. And I never felt comfortable enough to ask him and just glossed over it.
When he was on his vacation a year ago, he had a phone conversation talking about wavering about me being a long-term prospect. The same day that he possibly met her he had a texting conversation that night about seeing two cooing owls and was curious what they were. We had a phone call set up the next couple days, he said that there needed to be a delay because he was going to go out to the beach. Then he said maybe an hour more because friends were there. He sent me a picture of these older friends, I thought it was strange like he was trying to hide something, but I laughed it off as him being silly. I then told him to just enjoy time with his friends, but I had no idea the girl he liked was there. I heard nothing from him for a while and when he returned, he sent me a text telling me that he found a new connection but was not sure how it would work out because of the distance.

I tried to stay his friend through social media because I thought we had a great connection through friendship and had always said that the whole time if it didn't work out. I even had his post hidden so that I would not see anything for a couple months. The girl does not look that much different than me, maybe a step up, twice divorced and quite a bit more money. He did things with her that he had talked about doing with me.. some of the ideas were my own and he pretty much used them. Even photo poses I had done. It was strange as he would like things that I had posted and make comments...

They eventually I think broke up after Thanksgiving but reunited in February. She's selling her house. I took quite a few breaks from seeing stuff that he had but it still hindered me for moving on even though I went on other dates.

I knew the whole time that we were dating that we were not a long-term match because of the lack of fruits of the spirit I saw in his life. The lust of the flesh for money and physical seemed very strong. He also was living in the past of the privileged life that he once had and trying to maintain an image... Through his vehicles, cars, the way he carried himself, being part of a creative club in a big city (membership 2-3,000. He had a price tag for everything.

After Easter I saw he got on the news for a pedestrian bridge that he is trying to fund with billions of dollars. There was a comment that he made amongst one of his client friends about how he looked, and I just finally felt I was done. As I was falling asleep in bed, I said goodbye allowed and just clicked unfriend... I felt resolve.

Since that time I have occasionally checked his public space and the quarter size of the rock on her finger makes me think they are engaged. He is following kind of an exotic path for the yuppie farm that he grew up with, I think he purchased a peacock for the town. And his recent picture has the photo that he was hiding from me for so much time until February, a picture of them on the beach while I was still in communication with him. They look so happy, and I often pray and wonder if I can ever be that happy and find the right connection. I am sure they are much more suited for each other with the lives that they've lived and their backgrounds... It is just so hard when you find that connection, or at least that chemistry and conversation to let go. I have been through much worse back in 2006... I just pray that the Lord is developing my heart and readying me to be of service in marriage with someone that our conversations and connection continues to grow. And not only that, how we can serve in the community and church in Christ.

About 2 weeks ago I was in my work vehicle at a wide-open intersection with the signal red. As I sat there just looking at cars my eyes fixed on a BMW convertible. I did not think much of it until I noticed someone staring at me as they were passing through the intersection. The guy looked a bit older but then I thought about it, I think it was him. I had sunglasses on but maybe he saw the insignia on the side of my car. It could have been someone else, but it was ironic how much he was staring directly at my vehicle as he went through the intersection. He still has some houses that he works on an island at the same town I live. Who knows if I will ever see him again.. but I really doubt as a friend asked me, if he will ever reach out to me personally again.

Sorry for this long post, I'm not expecting any comments. I just needed an outlet as I reflect.... And hopefully move on.

I'm feeling very stressed and anxious about the snow and ice