Is this lonliness??

It sounds as though you are not unusual in feeling sad, given the circumstances you described. My thought is that you need some sort of hobby or cause to work on UNTIL your current situation changes because you've graduated and found a job and probably also a new residence elsewhere.

In other words, not much can change the situation in the short run unless you can find new friends, but you can change most of this a little while into the future, and knowing that should or could make you feel better.

We all do have periods in our lives when things are not what we would like them to be, but we know that it is within our power to change them after the demands of the present change.

nicolalalala said:

Hello everyone

I am new to this forum. I came here because I need advice. I find myself being sad quite often. There is nothing going on in my life. I have few social interactions. I feel disconnected from the world. For context I am an international student and I don't have anyone in my life besides my immediate family. I am in a foreign country and I do not fit in here, I struggle to connect with people and the sad thing is it is the same story in my own country. Moreover I even find I can relate to few people online and there are so many types of people online. I feel quite distant from the world because of this. There are many good things in my life, for example I do well in school, I have good prospects for the future, I have a lovely family, I'm on top of my life. I just want to know how I can feel better or what things I can do to change my life.

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I felt the same way as a young woman, there were times I wondered if I even belonged on this planet!
Would you describe yourself as highly intelligent and or sensitive? In my experience lonliness and detachment go hand in hand with smart sensitive people, I don't know why.
Or perhaps you have had a lack of opportunity to be amongst people you can relate to? I learnrd rather late in life, to join a group, and if there wasn't one I liked, I'd start my own.
Either way, it suggest you pray on it, good luck. ☺

nicolalalala said:

Hello everyone

I am new to this forum. I came here because I need advice. I find myself being sad quite often. There is nothing going on in my life. I have few social interactions. I feel disconnected from the world. For context I am an international student and I don't have anyone in my life besides my immediate family. I am in a foreign country and I do not fit in here, I struggle to connect with people and the sad thing is it is the same story in my own country. Moreover I even find I can relate to few people online and there are so many types of people online. I feel quite distant from the world because of this. There are many good things in my life, for example I do well in school, I have good prospects for the future, I have a lovely family, I'm on top of my life. I just want to know how I can feel better or what things I can do to change my life.

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Have you thought about going to a church? Often they have social activities that you could be a part of. Just being around a group of people who love God, can be supportive.

God led the path of my life in a way that he made me break up with my past, with everyone I used to know, with everything I used to do. He taught me what John 15:19 really means, what it means that we don't belong to this world!
Having a well-paying job is good, but it is not the most important.
Having friends in this life is good, but it is not what we ultimately strive for.
Being happy in this life is good, but it is irrelevant in the context of eternity.

Only when I had lost everything and everyone in my life I was able to see my life from God's perspective. To understand that God's plan with my (and your) life is always oriented towards eternity, and not measured by worldly standards.

Somtimes God takes everything away from us, and only then it will become apparent whether God is enough for us. Or whether we think "But I need this as well, and that". Let God be enough for you. There is nothing we can take out of this world except our relationship with God.

nicolalalala said:

Hello everyone

I am new to this forum. I came here because I need advice. I find myself being sad quite often. There is nothing going on in my life. I have few social interactions. I feel disconnected from the world. For context I am an international student and I don't have anyone in my life besides my immediate family. I am in a foreign country and I do not fit in here, I struggle to connect with people and the sad thing is it is the same story in my own country. Moreover I even find I can relate to few people online and there are so many types of people online. I feel quite distant from the world because of this. There are many good things in my life, for example I do well in school, I have good prospects for the future, I have a lovely family, I'm on top of my life. I just want to know how I can feel better or what things I can do to change my life.

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Dear one,
When we were lonely and afflicted! Didn’t we like someone to turn to us and be gracious to us ? Whom do we like to turn to us and be gracious and establish us enduring relationship? Yes, our dear Lord Jesus Christ.

For this is what we have heard:
For the LORD is good; His steadfast love endures forever, and His faithfulness to all generations. -Psalms 100:5

When we were lonely and afflicted! Didn’t we want to associate with someone good? Our Lord is more than qualified. He establishes His relations with His steadfast love. That is how He is gracious to us. Even, His faithfulness is proven through all generations. For He will not lie to us. How? Doesn’t our Lord make covenant relationship with us ? Yes, He has.

For this is what we have heard:
And the Holy Spirit also bears witness to us; for after saying, -Hebrews 10:15

"This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my laws on their hearts, and write them on their minds," -Hebrews 10:16

then he adds, "I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more." -Hebrews 10:17

Our Lord is gracious, and we just need to treasure His loving words in our hearts and minds.

For our Lord, indeed, establishes us enduring relationships through His covenant of love. For this, we should be grateful and be filled with overflowing thanksgiving.

Why ? Have we not considered many relationships don’t endure;
some fall away or fade away or may be coming into loneliness in even in friendship, marriage, family and relatives - it becomes numb.

Who can build enduring relations like the Lord? What is Jesus’s strength that makes Him faithful to all generations in spite of many human fallibility and weaknesses ?

It is REVEALED on how our Lord live His life. This is what we have heard:
Adonai is good, and He is fair;
this is why he teaches sinners the way [to live],
leads the humble to do what is right
and teaches the humble [to live] His way.- Psalms 25:8-9 CJB

Then, what is God’s ways? This is what we have heard:

He made His ways known to Moshe,
his mighty deeds to the people of Isra’el.
Adonai is merciful and compassionate,
slow to anger and rich in grace.-Psalms 103:7-8 CJB

Don’t we need to show mercy to others in our relations with them? Otherwise, how relationships with our family, relatives, friends , and acquaintances endure ?

Don’t we also need to show sympathy and be sensitive to those who suffer ? Yes, we do. In that way, we are compassionate. Won’t our compassion attract others ? Yes, they do. Inasmuch as they like, we also like to receive this grace. In this love is manifested among us because we live through our Lord, who is love eternal.

Don’t we like others to be slow to anger ?Yes, we do. We find also grace if others don’t pay us back according to our iniquities. So let us not deal with others according to our sins, but let us deal with others with love and peace.

Then, how can be rich in grace ? Who is rich in grace ? Yes, our Lord. How do our Lord enrich us with His grace ? This is what we have heard:
You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, -2 Timothy 2:1

So we can consider that those who are strengthened in the grace that is in Christ Jesus are those who rich in grace.

Therefore, let us seek the Lord’s strength continually, that we may be rich in grace.

When we are strengthened with His strength! We have the strength to release forgiveness to others who wronged us, whether they are friends or family. So when we are reconciled ! Can’t we build enduring relationships with others through Christ? Yes, we can.

So dear one,
Won’t the righteousness of our Lord’s love deliver you out of all your afflictions or sadness?
Trust in Him. For His love is enduring. Just offer yourself to the truth of His love, that is found in His words.

Love Him much. Let overflowing thanksgiving be lifted to Him. For we makes all our relationships endure through Christ.

nicolalalala said:

Thanks for this. But doesn't God desire for us to have fruitful lives?

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Yes, God wants to use us. But God will only be able to use us once he broke us. As long as we have our own will and wishes God cannot live His own plan through us. Only when we say "not I but Christ in me" (Gal 2:20), when we say "Your will be done, not mine!", only then God can let us bear fruit (for Himself).

And the way we bear fruit, the way we are used by God, is often very different to what we initially expected it to be. Sometimes God wants to use us in a completely different place than we thought we'd be going to.

We should also get rid of the idea that God has to use us for something BIG, or to reach MANY people. God doesn't need people for the big things only, he needs much more people to reach individual persons, to do the small jobs. Ravi Zacharias, who has reached millions of people all over the world, had found to God as a young man when someone gave him a Bible. The man who had given him the Bible said at the end of his life: "I am sure God's only purpose for my life was to give Ravi that Bible". - A small thing that God used for something much bigger.
Be ready to do the small things, too!

And if there is absolutely nothing you can do for God right now then your time has not come yet. Be patient, God is never late. Stay in a close relationship with Him and wait.

Oswald Chambers once wrote: "Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life – gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with surprises."
Don't plan out your life in detail, let God surprise you instead. Go the next small step and keep up this "breathless expectation" of when and how God might change your path. And since God is God you can be sure that He neither forgets about you nor does He appear too late in your life.

nicolalalala said:

Hello everyone

I am new to this forum. I came here because I need advice. I find myself being sad quite often. There is nothing going on in my life. I have few social interactions. I feel disconnected from the world. For context I am an international student and I don't have anyone in my life besides my immediate family. I am in a foreign country and I do not fit in here, I struggle to connect with people and the sad thing is it is the same story in my own country. Moreover I even find I can relate to few people online and there are so many types of people online. I feel quite distant from the world because of this. There are many good things in my life, for example I do well in school, I have good prospects for the future, I have a lovely family, I'm on top of my life. I just want to know how I can feel better or what things I can do to change my life.

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Well, the sort of general malaise you've described, is always, in some measure, unavoidable when living a life that is not of the sort God created you to live. The Bible teaches that we are made by God for His purposes, to live centered on Him rather than ourselves. In fact, we are made by God to serve as His ambassadors to the world, His hands and heart to people who are lost in sin and heading toward a dreadful, eternal end. When we live God's way, in intimate communion with Him, the result is deep fulfillment, joy and peace, which is what you'd expect living according to your God-given design and purpose.

Matthew 11:28-30
28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Revelation 3:20
20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.

John 7:37-38
37 ...Jesus stood and cried out, saying, "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink.
38 "He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, 'From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.'"

Knowing God deeply, living His way, will change you. You see, God intends you should be more and more like Him, rather than who you are apart from Him. And the more this is the case, the more eternally useful, the more truly meaningful (and the more attractive to others) your life will be. God wants us all to be "little Christs" in whom He is seen clearly. When people encounter you, God wants them to encounter Himself in you, not just you. I would urge you, then, to set aside your self-focus, which will always leave you dissatisfied and alone, and turn your eyes upon Jesus, submitting yourself to Him to change and use for His purposes.

Have you heard the Gospel? Have you trusted in Christ as your Saviour and Lord? Are you in daily fellowship with God? These are the things that are necessary to living a contented, fulfilled and eternally-meaningful life.