not clinically diagnosed but two months ago was very obvious that I probably 99999% chance I have a ocd idk
So 2-4 Months ago Intrusive thoughts like sell your soul and and bad things like that all the time And compulsions After Compulsions im 15 and that had been going on for two years and but something popped out of nowhere one day I woke up with my Faith and everything in tact I click on the video and the guy said something that just Triggered me I started to doubt after doubt after doubt after doubt and just cry Jesus is the most important thing in my life and all I want is him back it’s been like this for two months I feel like I have no believe or a little faith I just want my faith and belivfe and everything back but the thing is I get bad thoughts intrusive thoughts saying do you even want your belief back and out like do you even believe just just bad I don’t like it I love Jesus but I feel such a doubter my biggest fear is becoming a A atheist i don’t want that and I have a problem I feel like completely numb no belief no faith nothing no compulsions maybe one or two on a good day which it’s hard to have a good day anymore I haven’t had one in two months so I’m worried that my faith won’t come back and I keep doubting stuff like is the Bible and his God real And I believe some of these are my thoughts Before all of this before the doubt I have intrusive thoughts about things like the devi They would make me panic and do a compulsion but now numb I am bad thoughts about giving up I really don’t want to I’m not planning to every morning for two weeks I woken up and cried I miss my faith and belief I am scared Some of these thoughts are mine And I’m scared I’m starting to believe some of these thoughts I can’t even be with my family because of personal reasons I have to deal with this to I feel sometimes like I don’t care and that really scares me and it worries me I will be like oh I promise I promise Jesus I won’t do this but i do it and I feel like I don’t care and that bothers me I feel like I don’t care about really anything anymore that Kind of bothers me I was going to ask my parents to get me baptized about two months ago a few months ago actually but the doubt started I’m pretty sure the doubt started on mar 9 And it has not gone away
but some thing I noticed two months ago whenever the thought would go away I felt like I had no faith so that was weird but I have no more old thoughts are used to have they’re mainly the doubt and the ones I don’t like like the giving up ones but I looked up proof at the beginning and I think it got worse so I stop looking up proof and start a reading threads on this website because when are used to look up proof it got worse and I don’t want to get worse I don’t know I don’t want these thoughts to be mine I hope there ocd but I never been Diagnosed so I really do not know but all I knew is I had almost every OCD symptoms before this so I’m just assuming right now before all this I have always like paleontology and we paleontology is evolution theory some Christian paleontologist but not a lot I always ignored the theory in like dinosaurs the first thoughts were about it evolution is an evolution that because of my knowledge about dinosaurs because I wanted to be a paleontologist at a time But I’m just worried and I don’t even know about that sometimes most the time I feel like I don’t care I just want everything to go back tomorrow I’m just scared that I don’t believe in stuff like hell and I feel like I don’t even believe because when I used to get intrusive thought that was about blasforme I would react badly to it now I feel like I don’t care and I realize something two months ago when I used to get the blasforme thoughts every time they went away I didn’t feel my faith but I’m tired of the doubt and I feel like I have unbelief I want I don’t feel my belief I kind of shut down I won’t play my video game I won’t watch TV I won’t do anything until it comes back sorry for autocorrects
do you guys have any advice but im not diagnosed so im posting it there i’m just scared will I ever get my faith its been 2 months and some are my thoughts I think
So 2-4 Months ago Intrusive thoughts like sell your soul and and bad things like that all the time And compulsions After Compulsions im 15 and that had been going on for two years and but something popped out of nowhere one day I woke up with my Faith and everything in tact I click on the video and the guy said something that just Triggered me I started to doubt after doubt after doubt after doubt and just cry Jesus is the most important thing in my life and all I want is him back it’s been like this for two months I feel like I have no believe or a little faith I just want my faith and belivfe and everything back but the thing is I get bad thoughts intrusive thoughts saying do you even want your belief back and out like do you even believe just just bad I don’t like it I love Jesus but I feel such a doubter my biggest fear is becoming a A atheist i don’t want that and I have a problem I feel like completely numb no belief no faith nothing no compulsions maybe one or two on a good day which it’s hard to have a good day anymore I haven’t had one in two months so I’m worried that my faith won’t come back and I keep doubting stuff like is the Bible and his God real And I believe some of these are my thoughts Before all of this before the doubt I have intrusive thoughts about things like the devi They would make me panic and do a compulsion but now numb I am bad thoughts about giving up I really don’t want to I’m not planning to every morning for two weeks I woken up and cried I miss my faith and belief I am scared Some of these thoughts are mine And I’m scared I’m starting to believe some of these thoughts I can’t even be with my family because of personal reasons I have to deal with this to I feel sometimes like I don’t care and that really scares me and it worries me I will be like oh I promise I promise Jesus I won’t do this but i do it and I feel like I don’t care and that bothers me I feel like I don’t care about really anything anymore that Kind of bothers me I was going to ask my parents to get me baptized about two months ago a few months ago actually but the doubt started I’m pretty sure the doubt started on mar 9 And it has not gone away
but some thing I noticed two months ago whenever the thought would go away I felt like I had no faith so that was weird but I have no more old thoughts are used to have they’re mainly the doubt and the ones I don’t like like the giving up ones but I looked up proof at the beginning and I think it got worse so I stop looking up proof and start a reading threads on this website because when are used to look up proof it got worse and I don’t want to get worse I don’t know I don’t want these thoughts to be mine I hope there ocd but I never been Diagnosed so I really do not know but all I knew is I had almost every OCD symptoms before this so I’m just assuming right now before all this I have always like paleontology and we paleontology is evolution theory some Christian paleontologist but not a lot I always ignored the theory in like dinosaurs the first thoughts were about it evolution is an evolution that because of my knowledge about dinosaurs because I wanted to be a paleontologist at a time But I’m just worried and I don’t even know about that sometimes most the time I feel like I don’t care I just want everything to go back tomorrow I’m just scared that I don’t believe in stuff like hell and I feel like I don’t even believe because when I used to get intrusive thought that was about blasforme I would react badly to it now I feel like I don’t care and I realize something two months ago when I used to get the blasforme thoughts every time they went away I didn’t feel my faith but I’m tired of the doubt and I feel like I have unbelief I want I don’t feel my belief I kind of shut down I won’t play my video game I won’t watch TV I won’t do anything until it comes back sorry for autocorrects
do you guys have any advice but im not diagnosed so im posting it there i’m just scared will I ever get my faith its been 2 months and some are my thoughts I think
