Life without alcohol?

Abide with me. · Apr 30, 2021

I have been praying for release from my addictions, and have now given up sleeping tablets and am sleeping like a baby, thank God.
I have also cut my alcohol intake to 1 bottle of weak cider per week.
I have had half a bottle tonight with a meal which I finished at 7.p.m
This is Friday night, question? = now what do I do with the rest if the evening?
Any ideas?
This is not fun.

Gregorikos · Apr 30, 2021

Abide with me. said:
I have been praying for release from my addictions, and have now given up sleeping tablets and am sleeping like a baby, thank God.
I have also cut my alcohol intake to 1 bottle of weak cider per week.
I have had half a bottle tonight with a meal which I finished at 7.p.m
This is Friday night, question? = now what do I do with the rest if the evening?
Any ideas?
This is not fun.

This is a hard part of addiction. Our dependency was our best friend, the one we turned to for comfort and companionship. And now we have to redirect our lives to healthy relationships and activities.

It's one of the reasons that when we work the 4th step we include our own strengths, gifts, and interests in our personal inventory. Those are all great starting points for rebuilding our lives. DON'T GIVE UP. What you are going through is common to us all. It gets better.

Hanging by a Thread · Apr 30, 2021

Abide with me. said:
I have been praying for release from my addictions, and have now given up sleeping tablets and am sleeping like a baby, thank God.
I have also cut my alcohol intake to 1 bottle of weak cider per week.
I have had half a bottle tonight with a meal which I finished at 7.p.m
This is Friday night, question? = now what do I do with the rest if the evening?
Any ideas?
This is not fun.

Heh-heh. I have the same problem when I give up smoking weed. Weed enhances music (and other things) so much that I could be entertained just by listening to music for hours. The Grateful Dead still sounds good completely sober, but not near as good as when stoned. I've done my share of drinking but haven't been prone to alcoholism (I understand this can be hereditary). I respect that this could be more difficult than quitting pot (although I did quit smoking cigarettes- which can be more addicting than pot, I think, and therefore closer to alcohol in terms of physical addiction but not so much in terms of figuring out what to do with yourself), but for what it's worth, you really have to just tuff it out and kinda watch the clock until bedtime in the early stages of withdrawl. Although with pot, falling asleep becomes difficult during withdrawl. Eventually it'll get easier and eventually you'll just naturally find ways to fill in the gaps with activity. Again, can't speak to alcohol, but I noticed with cigarettes that you have to keep your guard up for a long time. The first week is very difficult and then when you think you got it whipped, a craving will pop up out of nowhere after having quit for even as long as two to three months.

Dave G. · Apr 30, 2021

The word of God is our sword of battle. Open it up, start with the book of Ephesians. Seriously. And don't think about alcohol, make overcoming it your goal in fact. Pray the Holy Spirit be in this with you, plead the blood of Christ over your whole house and situation. God is much stronger than you are, we don't do the battling when He is in it. But you gotta believe it !! See, so faith yet once again is the factor, and trust.

Abide with me. · Apr 30, 2021

Thanks guys for your encouragement.
I'm lucky that it don't crave alcohol, I'm perfectly happy not to drink during the week, it's a weekend reward type activity makes it special, my husband and I have lived 24 / 7 with each other for 17 years and love it, but it doesn't leave us with a lot to talk about, especially during lockdown, I used to love our visits to the pub, we'd talk a lot of creative stuff and flirt with each other, it was fun, but sober and at home we're just on our iPads as per, it guess we could get the dominos out again, but since my husband learned my killer winning strategy it's no fun because I never win any more, which is why I'm talking to you on a Friday night, but hey! I'm sober!!

dqhall · Apr 30, 2021

Abide with me. said:
I have been praying for release from my addictions, and have now given up sleeping tablets and am sleeping like a baby, thank God.
I have also cut my alcohol intake to 1 bottle of weak cider per week.
I have had half a bottle tonight with a meal which I finished at 7.p.m
This is Friday night, question? = now what do I do with the rest if the evening?
Any ideas?
This is not fun.

I listened to a Seventh Day Adventist vegan surgeon who lived to be 104. He did not smoke, did not use alcohol or caffeine either. I have not had alcohol in months. Don’t smoke or vape either.

disciple Clint · Apr 30, 2021

Abide with me. said:
I have been praying for release from my addictions, and have now given up sleeping tablets and am sleeping like a baby, thank God.
I have also cut my alcohol intake to 1 bottle of weak cider per week.
I have had half a bottle tonight with a meal which I finished at 7.p.m
This is Friday night, question? = now what do I do with the rest if the evening?
Any ideas?
This is not fun.

Honestly I dont know what you do but I know what you dont do, you dont say oh I have broken my pledge to myself so now I might as well go all the way and forget all about that pledge. Every day is a new day.

Leet · May 1, 2021

A book called Alcohol Explained by William Porter was a game changer for me. I was struggling badly with binge drinking and I currently have two and a half months sober with no desire to drink again.
:clap:

Abide with me. · May 2, 2021

disciple Clint said:
Honestly I dont know what you do but I know what you dont do, you dont say oh I have broken my pledge to myself so now I might as well go all the way and forget all about that pledge. Every day is a new day.

What pledge to myself? I don't call 1 bottle of weak cider per week an alcohol addiction! As far as I'm concerned an addiction is when you can't stop drinking excessively, Jesus drank wine responsibly as far as we know, that's what I'm doing, I never said I was going to stop altogether.

Dave G. · May 2, 2021

Abide with me. said:
What pledge to myself? I don't call 1 bottle of weak cider per week an alcohol addiction! As far as I'm concerned an addiction is when you can't stop drinking excessively, Jesus drank wine responsibly as far as we know, that's what I'm doing, I never said I was going to stop altogether.

But earlier in the thread you seemed to not know what to do on the weekend without it. What changed ? Read your first post. And I'm not condemning just curious...

Abide with me. · May 2, 2021

Dave G. said:
But earlier in thread you seemed to not know what to do on the weekend without it. What changed ? Read your first post. And I'm not condemning just curious...

My husband and I did some cooking together last night which was a fun alternative to drinking and talking, we also played a board game, along with my half bottle of cider, it was all very cozy and nice, just needed an activity to focus on, rather than focussing on the absence if what used to be, it worked out very well.

Dave G. · May 2, 2021

Abide with me. said:
My husband and I did some cooking together last night which was a fun alternative to drinking and talking, we also played a board game, along with my half bottle of cider, it was all very cozy and nice, just needed an activity to focus on, rather than focussing on the absence if what used to be, it worked out very well.

I'll be praying.

chilehed · May 8, 2021

Life without booze and other drugs seemed like a boring "what do I do now" only until I started working a program of recovery in community with other recovering addicts. Now I look back at the dreariness of my former life and realize that I really was out of my mind to think that it was anything other than an empty existence. My life, and my enjoyment of it, has expanded unimaginably since I began my recovery.

Abide with me. said:
I don't call 1 bottle of weak cider per week an alcohol addiction!

Addiction doesn't really have much to do with how much you use. It has to do with our thoughts, our emotions and our spiritual state, however infrequent or light our consumption might be. One thing I've definitely learned is that although I might have a favorite drug my disease will use any of them for my destruction, so any idea I might have that I'm okay if I just have a little hard cider is just me telling myself some outrageous nonsense.

Abide with me. · May 8, 2021

chilehed said:
Life without booze and other drugs seemed like a boring "what do I do now" only until I started working a program of recovery in community with other recovering addicts. Now I look back at the dreariness of my former life and realize that I really was out of my mind to think that it was anything other than an empty existence. My life, and my enjoyment of it, has expanded unimaginably since I began my recovery.

Addiction doesn't really have much to do with how much you use. It has to do with our thoughts, our emotions and our spiritual state, however infrequent or light our consumption might be. One thing I've definitely learned is that although I might have a favorite drug my disease will use any of them for my destruction, so any idea I might have that I'm okay if I just have a little hard cider is just me telling myself some outrageous nonsense.

I am glad to hear you are in recovery from alcohol addiction, were you a member of AA? Did that help? I was in alanon for a few years and was closely associated with a few alcoholics, I heard their stories and they heard mine, I've never been regarded as an alcoholic by anyone, despite being notorious for party drinking, but I've never drunk during the week and have a highly successful life and a stable happy marriage, I can understand that even a little cider per week to a recovering alcoholic is all wrong if you know it will control you, but I've never been in that category, I don't crave alcohol, I decided binge drinking was not good for me, nobody told me to stop, but I guess posting on an addictions forum I'm going to be viewed as an alcoholic, whether I have half a bottle of 4% cider 2 nights per week with a meal or not, and on such a forum, I'm going to be viewed as being an alcoholic in denial for thinking so, but alcoholics can become evangelical about drink, and view everyone as being in danger of the slippery slope.
I'm going to enjoy my half bottle tonight, whilst cooking a meal with my husband, playing a board game, and when the bottle is finished I'll switch to water if I'm still thirsty, like I did last night and last Saturday night, it's really no struggle.

Abide with me. · May 8, 2021

Just thought I'd report in... It's 8.45 Saturday night, just finished my half bottle of cider with the quiche we cooked together, this is a great recipie!
We have some rare breed chickens in our orchard, but they produce more eggs than we can eat.. we give most of the eggs away to friends and neighbours, but still try to eat as many as we can, .....
I love cooking with my husband, he's a great cook but so am I! I let him do most of it as he loves cooking so much, but cooking together is an activity I enjoy..
Heres our recipie, can't comment on how he makes his pastry but it IS delicious, crispy but flaky at the same time, I make the filling, so, I caremelize red onions by cooking them very slowly in butter, brown sugar and red wine vinager till you end up with a kind of chutney / onion jam...they line the base of blind baked pastry in a quiche dish, then I add a layer of mushrooms cooked and browned in butter and garlic, rock salt, pepper, and herbs from our garden, my husband then adds mature cheese and a bit if cream and cooks it in the even it till it's golden brown on top, we had this with new spring potatoes, ( mint sauce and more butter for me ) and petit pois, my husband has a few small glasses of wine with his meal, ( he's middle class, this comes naturally to him! Unlike me! )
I'm now relaxing after dinner and contemplating how to thrash him at dominoes, since he beat me 10 to 6 before dinner, pah!
Well! That's my lot now till next Friday night, no more alcohol and I'm fine with that, we have a wonderful day planned with friends tomorrow, I just needed to do fun things other than drinking.
Hope you enjoyed the recipie?

chilehed · May 8, 2021

Abide with me. said:
I am glad to hear you are in recovery from alcohol addiction, were you a member of AA? Did that help?

NA, yes, and it helps very much indeed.

Abide with me. said:
I guess posting on an addictions forum I'm going to be viewed as an alcoholic,... and on such a forum, I'm going to be viewed as being an alcoholic in denial for thinking so,

I don't really know you so I wouldn't presume to conclude one way or the other on that, but it seems that you might concede that your original post could reasonably lead someone to conclude that you think that you are. In my experience people who don't have a problem don't speak as you did in the OP, but ultimately you're the only person who can answer that question for yourself.

Abide with me. · May 10, 2021

chilehed said:
NA, yes, and it helps very much indeed.

I don't really know you so I wouldn't presume to conclude one way or the other on that, but it seems that you might concede that your original post could reasonably lead someone to conclude that you think that you are. In my experience people who don't have a problem don't speak as you did in the OP, but ultimately you're the only person who can answer that question for yourself.

It might be splitting hairs, but I did an AA questionnaire online to find if I fitted in with their definition of an alcoholic, and I was miles off, but that doesn't mean that anyone outside that definition is clear of having bad drinking habits, and I certainly concede that I did have, and the tendency to abuse alcohol runs thick through both sides of my biological family and therefore with me, what I choose to do with that inheritance is up to me.
When I put my original post up I was in a state of contrition after having my first social drink with friends after a 6 months of not seeing them, it was a shock to all our systems as we had grown unused to it, it made me I'll, and left me wishing I was a sensible drinker, something which comes naturarally to some, but 'I ladle it down like mothers milk' to quote Eliza Doolittle!
I live in a gentrified middle class world but have working class roots and attitudes, where heavy drinking was the norm, and a single glass of wine over dinner was unheard of, it was either all or nothing, so nothing comes as easily to me as all, restrained middle class drinking is something I used to associate with boring old people who never crack a joke! Or have a good belly laugh!
But....I want to be in high spirits with my arty and musician friends, because that's what my husband and I are, without making myself I'll in the process, so long story short, not an alcoholic, but one who recognizes a bad alcohol habit, which is not what I want.

chilehed · May 10, 2021

Abide with me. said:
It might be splitting hairs, but I did an AA questionnaire online to find if I fitted in with their definition of an alcoholic, and I was miles off...

Do you mean the twelve questions? That's a good pamphlet, but it's important to realize that when it says "If we answered YES to four or more questions, we were in deep trouble with our drinking" that doesn't mean that if we said yes to only one then we weren't. Every single one of those is a very bad sign, even if I can tell myself "yes, but...".

In NA we have a similar pamphlet called Am I an Addict?, and after the questions there's an important sentence: "The actual number of “Yes” responses wasn’t as important as how we felt inside and how addiction had affected our lives." Addiction is a physical, mental and spiritual disease that affects every area of our lives, which is why it's a mistake to focus on the one most obvious symptom (the using) to the exclusion of all others. Addiction is a relational disease, it's about how we interact with other people, which is why the Twelve Steps deal with our relationships rather than with what, how much or how often we're using (other than to point out that we can't recover until we stop).

Again, I know that you don't have to justify anything to me, I'm just some more or less random guy on a forum. But I did want to clarify those kinds of pamphlets for other people who might find this thread.

Abide with me. · May 10, 2021

chilehed said:
Do you mean the twelve questions? That's a good pamphlet, but it's important to realize that when it says "If we answered YES to four or more questions, we were in deep trouble with our drinking" that doesn't mean that if we said yes to only one then we weren't. Every single one of those is a very bad sign, even if I can tell myself "yes, but...".

In NA we have a similar pamphlet called Am I an Addict?, and after the questions there's an important sentence: "The actual number of “Yes” responses wasn’t as important as how we felt inside and how addiction had affected our lives." Addiction is a physical, mental and spiritual disease that affects every area of our lives, which is why it's a mistake to focus on the one most obvious symptom (the using) to the exclusion of all others. Addiction is a relational disease, it's about how we interact with other people, which is why the Twelve Steps deal with our relationships rather than with what, how much or how often we're using (other than to point out that we can't recover until we stop).

Again, I know that you don't have to justify anything to me, I'm just some more or less random guy on a forum. But I did want to clarify those kinds of pamphlets for other people who might find this thread.

No it wasn't the 12 questions, there's something called AA 20 questions on the internet anyone can Google it, it says things like "do you drink in the morning" and "has alcohol affected your relationships or ability to work" that kind of thing.
Addiction as you say is a terrible thing, and that is why people describe themselves as recovering alcoholics rather than cured, and the 12 questions are very carefully worded to identify people who are in deep trouble with it, or if they have a low score like me, ( 1 ) they ( I ) have a problem which needs addressing, sharing that information on here is part of being my own critic, partly because I don't think I have been demonstrating the profound gratitude I feel to God for coming into my life and transforming it.

chilehed · May 11, 2021

Abide with me. said:
No it wasn't the 12 questions, there's something called AA 20 questions on the internet anyone can Google it, it says things like... "has alcohol affected your relationships or ability to work"

Oh yeah, that one's a classic. My answer was always "heck no, if everyone would get off my back and stop trying to run my life, and if my boss and the police weren't such tools, everything would be fine! The dope and booze has nothing to do with it!"

The things I used to tell myself... *headshake*. And even though I've been clean for nearly 34 years, I still have SO much work to do with realizing the impact I have on the people around me (for good or ill).

Hey, if you really don't have a problem, then have one for me. A nice high-tannin, dry as a desert Cabernet.

Life without alcohol?

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