One big (bad) quality that’s keeping you single

Sketcher · Apr 24, 2021

Just one, huh?

For me, it's a minefield of multiple issues to navigate, and given what happens to many similarly-minded people who do get shacked up or married, I am seriously considering the merits of MGTOW.

public hermit · Apr 24, 2021

Contentment. If I were not content, I would be out there running the roads and eventually putting in with somebody, I'm sure. But I'm not willing to trade peace for the comfort and company of a woman.

A close runner up is: I like things my way. And, I know from experience I think my way is right, which is wholly unhelpful in a mutually self-giving relationship. So, there's that.

HisGraceAbounds · Apr 25, 2021

My biggest block is that I have no confidence. I do not see value in myself as a human, as a person, as a man, or as an acquaintance. I feel I have nothing to offer anyone, so I don't bother with keeping an eye out for anyone expressing interest.

Oh, and I'm a 'touch freak', so the whole idea of a platonic, non-physical relationship with me is a deal-breaker for them.

DragonFox91 · Apr 25, 2021

I was too introverted & socially anxious in college & below. I'd have no trouble meeting & befriending other guys, but I was 'too scared' to talk to girls, or the few girls I was able to talk to, it just never went anywhere or we'd be incompatible to date.

My biggest roadblock right now is meeting single girls. Every time I try to expand my network, it just leads to meeting men, married women, women w/ boyfriends already, or women way too young or way too old to date.

Majority are single men, even things designed to be co-ed.

How do you meet single girls in your late 20s, early 30s????

Sif · Apr 25, 2021

For me it is that I am content being single, like @public hermit Other factors are I live in a quite rural place. There are probably at least as many elk where I live as people.

Another factor, in my case, is I am a bit wary of men (it is not that I dislike men). I like to do many things that traditionally women do not enjoy as much. I like to hike, hunt, train with firearms and in martial arts. In the past a few times men have tried to start a relationship with me as they were surprised a woman enjoyed something few other women did. Quickly it became apparent that the basis for a committed relationship (beyond being on friendly terms) requires more than an interest in a hobby or activity. Please do not take this as I dislike men or view them in a negative light

trophy33 · Apr 26, 2021

Sif said:
Quickly it became apparent that the basis for a committed relationship (beyond being on friendly terms) requires more than an interest in a hobby or activity.

True.

You can have different hobbies, but you must have the same values. Or else it will not work long-term.

Same hobbies are not actually too important. Even though its "in" today to do everything together (and thats why the relationships are over quickly).

alkaloid · Apr 30, 2021

I'm afraid to put myself out there, especially as a divorced woman. I'm not ashamed of myself per se, but I feel like there's a stigma around it. I'm also the type of person who likes for things to happen naturally, so putting myself out there just makes it uncomfortable and forced. I'm fine with being single for now though and if God is willing, he'll bring me together with someone. I was hoping to meet someone at church, but they're all closed still. Some day!

timewerx · Apr 30, 2021

I'm very recently infected by Covid variant that should keep me single for another year! ^_^

On a much longer term in my past, wrong choices/decisions, laziness that led to compounding failures and poor situations in life has kept me single. I guess some of it is bad luck, could still be my fault. Always be prepared for the worst, dress to crash as they say and failed to do that.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) · Apr 30, 2021

1. I take my marvel and DC action figures with me to the theater whenever said movies are playing so they can see themselves on the big screen.

2. I eat soups and spaghetti out of their cans instead of transferring them to separate bowls.

Sophrosyne · Apr 30, 2021

Lost4words said:
One thing that is keeping me single is my dog breath!

Fleas can be a problem too I've heard.

Lost4words · Apr 30, 2021

Sophrosyne said:
Fleas can be a problem too I've heard.

I get flea treatment 4 times a year!

Miss Spaulding · May 1, 2021

My lack of conversational skills due to disinterest in talking. I think a lot people chalk it up to shyness or me just being socially awkward, or perhaps even unfriendly. Possibly all three. It reallllllly takes a lot for me to feel comfortable, confident, and not to mention, interested, enough to engage in verbal conversation with someone.

This issue has literally been the bane of my existence thus far.

Sophrosyne · May 1, 2021

Lost4words said:
I get flea treatment 4 times a year!

You get treated with fleas 4 times a year?

public hermit · May 1, 2021

timewerx said:
I'm very recently infected by Covid variant that should keep me single for another year!

On a much longer term in my past, wrong choices/decisions, laziness that led to compounding failures and poor situations in life has kept me single. I guess some of it is bad luck, could still be my fault. Always be prepared for the worst, dress to crash as they say and failed to do that.

It's good to see you back.

d taylor · May 6, 2021

I would not say this is a bad quality. But being (a only child) born to older parents (in their mid thirties). When i was 37 may dad had a stroke that left him in a wheel chair for the last 4 years of his life. So at age 37, my mom and me took care of my dad at home. And now few years later i have been looking after my mom (she is now 92). So i am committed to her care, till her death.

But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Somber · Jun 8, 2021

My avoidance of the opposite gender. :muahah:

My immature and childlike nature.... :burglar:

My peculiar interests and strange ideas... :boh:

My lack of relationship experience... :frozen2:

My disobedient and free spirited nature, I have absolutely no interest nor desire in controlling or being controlled. :destroy:

But in seriousness, for the most part a lot is related to my need for independence and solitude. I feel emotionally unhealthy when I become too close and serious with someone. I am much happier and emotionally healthier/balanced single. I would like to meet someone one day, although if I can't be emotionally healthy with someone then I rather just be single. :dontcare:

Lost4words · Jun 8, 2021

My farts!

JBH · Jun 8, 2021

I'll put a few.

1. I am a very intentional and serious person. I hate small talk, and I don't do things based on impulse or what I feel is right at the time. This can be very intimidating and comes off as really intense.

2. I am afraid of telling people how I feel. I've had so many girls in my life who, after I tell them I like them, they say they just want to be friends, but then abandon me as a friend entirely. So now I just keep feelings to myself.

3. I am quite the introvert, so I rarely put myself into social situations. The only chance I really get to meet women now days is dating apps.

4. I still have a hard time focusing on what I can give in a relationship rather than what I can get.

5. I struggle with codependency issues that manifest in multiple ways, including but not limited to: I can be pretty judgmental of people, and I become attached pretty easily.

.Mikha'el. · Jun 8, 2021

I'm too quiet and introverted. I also don't have my life together enough for a relationship to be practical.

Cormack · Jun 9, 2021

JBH said:
1. I am a very intentional and serious person. I hate small talk, and I don't do things based on impulse or what I feel is right at the time. This can be very intimidating and comes off as really intense.

Funny enough I have friends who suffer with this problem, they’re accused of being standoffish or “stuck up,” of course that’s not the case, and if others were less assumptive about the person they’d quickly realise that it’s a simple compatibility issue, some people like chunky peanut butter and some like smooth, it’s not anything sinister or negative on the persons part.

Being overly formal or speaking about serious issues is also very taxing on the people we speak to, so it’s a dilemma, because “how’s the weather” can be like pulling teeth to the other party.

Aside from my friends, I think I’ve been both people at different times in my life.

A helpful trick is to get more comfortable speaking about trivial things (but not conventional small talk,) for example, making a goof about somebody’s new outfit isn’t exactly big talk or serious, but at least it’s something trivial we might actually like speaking on.

I found taking myself less seriously helped with my introversion too. Then again I’m in my thirties now, everything gets better as we get older

One big (bad) quality that’s keeping you single

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