- Dec 13, 2015
- 5,254
- 4,227
- 37
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Calvinist
- Marital Status
- Married
I've made far too many topics about this over the years but with each day that passes things get worse and worse. I'm not in a happy marriage. I mean, I'm probably as happy as I'm ever going to be but my wife just isnt. She isn't happy that she took "my life" away and that I'm not the same person as I was before. Well first off, I dont WANT to be that conning, manipulative jerk who hated the world and spent his eternity conning people and basically playing WoW in his mothers basement. I want to change that and I want to live around my wife. It mostly doesn't bother me that im not the anime loving 36 hour grind loving WoW player she fell in love with.
She wants me to become more spiritual and to lead her into spiritual things. She wants me to yell at her everyday to clean this house and to do her chores since I do mine everyday. She wants a husband that isn't afraid of telling the truth even if it hurts instead of me who lies all the time in my vain effort to get her to stop worrying about e because I'm nothing and she is everything.
But, that's what registers in my schizophrenic world. Im worthless and she means the world. I love her very much as shes my entire world. Well aside from God of course but you get the idea.
In a life where I have had nothing. In where I was physically and verbally abused by my dad for almost 30 years. Where the world mocked me for being ugly and well... Lets just say my life has been completely inane and irrelevant. Its no wonder I found God and God gave me a wife. I just... wish my wife was as happy as I am with her being the dominant one instead of me. I'm not worth it enough to be dominant... Really. Plus if I was I would be torn apart in todays feminist world and by her family. I just... Cant take that im way too afraid. What do I do to keep my marriage? I cannot afford online therapy and she isnt responsive to it even when i give it to her. She just yells at me everytime i try and i grt afraid that sje will hit me as she's done before too.
She wants me to become more spiritual and to lead her into spiritual things. She wants me to yell at her everyday to clean this house and to do her chores since I do mine everyday. She wants a husband that isn't afraid of telling the truth even if it hurts instead of me who lies all the time in my vain effort to get her to stop worrying about e because I'm nothing and she is everything.
But, that's what registers in my schizophrenic world. Im worthless and she means the world. I love her very much as shes my entire world. Well aside from God of course but you get the idea.
In a life where I have had nothing. In where I was physically and verbally abused by my dad for almost 30 years. Where the world mocked me for being ugly and well... Lets just say my life has been completely inane and irrelevant. Its no wonder I found God and God gave me a wife. I just... wish my wife was as happy as I am with her being the dominant one instead of me. I'm not worth it enough to be dominant... Really. Plus if I was I would be torn apart in todays feminist world and by her family. I just... Cant take that im way too afraid. What do I do to keep my marriage? I cannot afford online therapy and she isnt responsive to it even when i give it to her. She just yells at me everytime i try and i grt afraid that sje will hit me as she's done before too.