- Feb 5, 2002
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DIFFICULT MORAL QUESTIONS: An ongoing conjugal life is important to marital and moral wellbeing.
Q. My wife and I have been married 44 years. She’s 73 and I’m 71. We have a good marriage, and our Catholic faith is the most important part of our lives. But because of physical issues we have not had intimate relations for close to 10 years. We also sleep in separate bedrooms so we can each sleep better. In the last year there have been several nights when I have awakened in the night and lay there remembering intimate adventures in our early marriage. This has led to masturbation. I know this is sinful and I feel ashamed. When I am doing this, I never think about inappropriate contentographic images or other women or anything like that. I just replay in my mind those intimate moments when we were first married. At the time I'm doing this I try to convince myself that this type of masturbation might not be sinful. However, I know Satan likes to whisper in our ears and convince us sin is not sin. I would very much like to know your opinion. —Tom
A. I do not know what issues led you and your wife to give up on sexual intercourse. Given that you are committed Catholics, the issues must have been serious. I know therefore that what I advise may no longer possible. Nevertheless, you may consider revisiting these serious issues. An ongoing conjugal life, however infrequent, and even if awkward and at times difficult, yet consistent, is important to marital and moral wellbeing.
Continued below.
Sex is About ‘Mutual Self-Giving and Human Procreation’ — Accept No Counterfeits
Q. My wife and I have been married 44 years. She’s 73 and I’m 71. We have a good marriage, and our Catholic faith is the most important part of our lives. But because of physical issues we have not had intimate relations for close to 10 years. We also sleep in separate bedrooms so we can each sleep better. In the last year there have been several nights when I have awakened in the night and lay there remembering intimate adventures in our early marriage. This has led to masturbation. I know this is sinful and I feel ashamed. When I am doing this, I never think about inappropriate contentographic images or other women or anything like that. I just replay in my mind those intimate moments when we were first married. At the time I'm doing this I try to convince myself that this type of masturbation might not be sinful. However, I know Satan likes to whisper in our ears and convince us sin is not sin. I would very much like to know your opinion. —Tom
A. I do not know what issues led you and your wife to give up on sexual intercourse. Given that you are committed Catholics, the issues must have been serious. I know therefore that what I advise may no longer possible. Nevertheless, you may consider revisiting these serious issues. An ongoing conjugal life, however infrequent, and even if awkward and at times difficult, yet consistent, is important to marital and moral wellbeing.
Continued below.
Sex is About ‘Mutual Self-Giving and Human Procreation’ — Accept No Counterfeits
