- Apr 8, 2021
- 4
- 5
- 43
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
I've been married now for almost 19 years. Me and my wife were both pretty young when we got married at only 21 years old. Our marriage has been through some serious ups and downs over the years. I'll admit that the downs are largely my fault as I've not always been the type of man I wanted to be, and done things I'm not proud of. In the past 3 years we've been trying to work on our issues and get to a better place. Recently it came out that my wife, who I have no doubt loves me, has never been in love with me in our entire relationship. I'm not sure if she even knows how to be honest. My wife was born blind and I think at least partly due to that her emotional development was stunted. That and having parents who had no idea how to teach what most instinctively know to teach or demonstrate to their daughters. At any rate I've been in counseling for over 2 years now and my demons of depression and anxiety haunt me. Along with the shame, guilt and self-disgust at the horrible choices I've made in life and how they've hurt the people around me. So with this new development I am truly at my wits end as to what to do. I desperately desire and wish to have a deep and intimate connection with my wife for I do love her very much. We couldn't be more different people however. Our core personalities couldn't be more different and we've always struggled with communication. I don't even really know why I'm posting this in any kind of a public forum except out of a sense of despair and desperation. I've been praying and begging God for help in this and don't know what to do. I don't know if its even possible that she could fall in love with me after all we've been through and as long as we've been together. I pray its possible and God can work a miracle in this. Maybe I'm not the first person to go through this. If you've got any words of wisdom I would welcome them.