I hate going to church

Jesusfann777888 · Apr 1, 2021

If you view the messages as boring, you Conceptually do not understand your need for a saviour.

I have a few questions for you. you say you are logically-oriented. what do you think of science and where do you find yourself having the most fun? I'll try to get you to take your focus off of science and by determining what interest's you have, I'll talk to you about why. You need to be honest about your interest's however.boredom at church could have a few reason's, second, how on Earth Scripturally does your fiance believe she can preach? this is not allowed by Scripture, for a Very Good Reason!

Jesusfann777888 · Apr 1, 2021

Listen, I'm going to read between the lines of your post.

You stated a but, you're a logic brained person.it's always best to say exactly what you think without avoiding what your thinking so people understand what your thinking.

Logic and The Bible are not incompatible. Just because you don't feel entertained because The Scripture isn't broken down in a logical series of explanation's mean's your missing the point of why you attend in the first place. The Scripture is To Connect you to Jesus, I'm assuming your waiting for something to happen while Yahweh Is waiting for you to do what it says in THE BIBLE.

life isn't completely logical, or you're missing the point. boredom, show's a lack of interest. a lack of interest Evaluates a lack of regard or care, because it doesn't satisfy you. church attendance is to go to a place where other believer's are and participate in what God Expect's's of all people, while getting a long with people and helping them Through The Holy Spirit to develope relationships.

you have a core issue your not talking about.

HatGuy · Apr 1, 2021

"Going" to church is something I don't like either.

Being "part" of a church is something else entirely.

It's about the relationships more than the activities.

Halbhh · Apr 1, 2021

Hey, I don't know if anyone suggested this already:

Just stream some of that particular church's services on the internet. Watch 1-3 over about a week.

(and pray the Lord's prayer Christ gave us all to pray each day in Matthew chapter 6....)

You'll find out if your general past preference will continue to be true now.

It might, or might not.

There are a few songs our band does in our church (alternate Sundays) which I didn't like at first, but they grew on me. Really.

lsume · Apr 1, 2021

I don’t think logic is your issue. I’ve found that church is often run by those whom have not yet been born again. However, it sounds like in your case, you also need to seek.

Matt5 · Apr 1, 2021

You are in big trouble. She thinks you are the problem. You have to change. There is no middle ground. But this issue is important to both of you. Shouldn't she attempt to work out some kind of a compromise?

What's going to happen on other important issues going forward? Will she just ignore your wishes and make no attempt to find common ground?

chad kincham · Apr 1, 2021

You probably wouldn’t like sitting in a garage pretending to be a car, anymore than sitting in church pretending to be a Christian.

Many people that sit in church and find it boring have never been born again, or saved, including myself at one time.

I was a believer but wasn’t saved.

To be saved requires more than merely believing that Jesus exists and is God’s son.

To become a saved, born again child of God, you must receive Jesus, (John 1:12),by asking Him into your heart (Revelation 3:20), where He then dwells (Ephesians 3:17and Colossians 1:27), repent and ask Him to forgive your sins so they are forgiven (Acts 3:19 and Acts 20:21), and call upon His name to be saved Romans 10:13.

Prayer for salvation: Lord Jesus, I believe you died for my sins and rose again - please come into my heart, forgive my sins, save my soul, and make me a new creation. In your name, amen

Once you get saved and are a Christian, you won’t find church so boring.

Blessings.

zoidar · Apr 1, 2021

How is your relation to Jesus?

Swan7 · Apr 1, 2021

What is it about church that you dislike? You've mentioned the music and messages. I will say that it is not the music that we go to church, surely you know this just by the Bible alone. The entire Word of God is about who He is and it's all about getting to know Him - not just as our Saviour (Jesus Christ), but also as Christ Jesus.

It could be that the roles are switched around. Should you be teaching, I wonder? (that's just a thought out loud) Ask God what His will is for you and your wife as one.

P.S. Just as a reminder, if there is any transgression, I would repent of that first before asking anything.

awfulone · Apr 1, 2021

He is my friend.

SirHash · Apr 1, 2021

Hey bro. Sorry I'm so late to this party. I too am painfully an introvert. While my wife doesn't lead any worship, she's very much social and a people person. I too, used to not like going to church. And as I think about it, there are 2 big things that made it click for me.
1) I read Purpose Driven Life. Somewhere in there the author talks about how God made me to have a relationship with. He made the real me, the introverted me, the skeptical me, the curious me, etc. He made you how you are now. He wants the best for us, that doesn't mean overwriting who He made you to be. Over the years I've been able to go to church to focus on Jesus and shrug off the social awkwardness, I go for Him not me.
2) Small group (aka Sunday school, Life group, etc). Small talk, I suck at that. But an open discussion about what God intends for us I can participate in. I can explore His word with others (and alone). Maybe small group isn't your bag, that's cool. But something is your bag. Be comfortable searching for it, be comfortable praying for it. The God that made you wants a relationship with you. Let Him help you find that connection.
Prayers bro.

LightLoveHope · Apr 2, 2021

Church is about expressing love and support to others, no matter how difficult it is.
The danger of faith is that it is just an intellectual and factual agreement of facts, without the realisation it is about reaching out to others and actually loving them in whatever way one can.

It is hard to take on board the complexity of other peoples struggles, their differences and ups and downs, but that is what happens when you become part of a family. And marriage is also about similar things and issues.

God bless you

InnerPhyre · Apr 2, 2021

The willful and boastful ignorance I have encountered from my congregation with regard to the pandemic has made church an almost unbearable chore for me as well the past year. If your fiancé is demanding that you be a part of her regular church life then you guys have some important boundaries and expectations to define before you get married or you may face some rocky terrain ahead.

zoidar · Apr 3, 2021

The reason I ask is because for myself when I got to know Jesus I started longing for church. Maybe there is something getting in the way for your love to him?

Norbert L · Apr 3, 2021

I remember a widow who told me about her decades of marriage. She was protestant and her husband was reformed Jew. They went to synagogue on Saturday and church on Sunday. They both valued attending their respective faiths. You sir absolutely are not on the same page as her when it comes to the value of being part of a flesh and blood and face to face gathering before our Lord. Don't fool yourself or worse, her into the thought that you actually value the same thing here.

Abide with me. · Apr 3, 2021

I don't see why you should have to go to Church just because it's important to your fiancé, if you took up sky diving would you expect her to accompany you?
You can respect her choices without having to Parrot them, my husband and I have radically different politics, and most if our friends agree with him, but Im not going to go out and vote like him, this is awkward and inconvenient for all of us, but we love and respect each other very much and find not talking about it an acceptable compromise, of course we'd like to be on the same page as I'm sure you would, but compromise means respecting each others differences however unpalatable that might be, and I think your fiancé should respect your choices, it's not impinging on her choices whatever you do, but expecting you to suck up an experience you don't like because she does is not realistic, if you were doing something illegal that would be different, but praying alone is not a crime, and respect has to be mutual in a long term relationship, resentment is a slow caustic corrosive thing that can cause a lot of damage if it is left to faster, above all you being honest was the best thing you could have done before marriage, respect each other, respect your boundaries in love and acceptance.

Abide with me. · Apr 3, 2021

I'm a woman and I respect my husband's differences whilst fundamentally accepting him as a person, it's a 2 way street, and no man should put up with a bossy wife, or vice versa.

Abide with me. · Apr 3, 2021

Totally agree

Leaf473 · Apr 3, 2021

(I haven't read all the posts in this thread, so apologies if this has been covered

)

I could have written that post! Well maybe not the introverted part, but everything else!

I too believe deeply as you say. But the songs the prayers the sermons I find either boring or irritating. Most of the time

Over the years I've come up with different solutions. I used to bring along a book to read, nowadays with cell phones it's even easier. Discreetly put in some earbuds and listen to tunes (doesn't work so well during the song time).

But the biggest thing is that I often slip out "to go to the bathroom". Then on the way back I find a quiet spot to read or listen to music.

*********
But I also think your fiance has a good point. If going to church is important to her, and you would rather not, I think that will become a big deal, especially as the years go by.

I hear that you have the same values and beliefs, but if that's an activity that's important to her for you to be present at, well, that's a thing!

Bruce Leiter · Apr 3, 2021

This is a big issue in your relationship that you two need to agree on before you get married. If you can't, I suggest that you break up and that you find a Reformed church that will meet your rational needs.

I hate going to church

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