Is this really true? I very rarely get approached or noticed by guys out in public. Maybe I'm just oblivious, though. Or maybe Canadians don't do this sort of thing very often. Women on the internet constantly complain about being catcalled, but I've only ever been catcalled when I was abroad or in the States. Never, never at home in Canada.
Possibly all three. Some men don't approach women unless they're in a comfortable setting. They want to minimize rejection. That's more commonplace with your generation than previous ones.
As for the US, conversation between strangers was the norm until the Walkman was invented. When you walked down the street people said good morning, hello, talked about the weather, etc. Small talk was common. We didn't tune people out unless they were weird. You had no reason to.
Then the Walkman came. You could listen to the radio or a cassette tape with headphones. That was the beginning of ignoring your neighbor. You weren't expected to be chatty or polite if your ears were covered.
That morphed into mp3 players and the iPod. Now tuning people out is the norm and you don't want to be bothered. That's where obliviousness began. People used to converse in grocery stores, restaurants, and so on. But it stopped.
Men would approach women for help when shopping. A subtle pickup tactic. They'd ask for input. Women would ask men to reach things on higher shelves. Notice the intro. Both requests assume the positive. Something the other would take pride in. That's why it worked.
People were better conversationalists. It hadn't gone out of fashion and the skill was highly prized. Gen X is the last. Lack of initiation is a modern problem. Men and women initiated discourse with strangers. They weren't afraid to say hello or make small talk. They were less self-conscious and their body language wasn't closed.
If you never open your mouth you're forcing them to judge you on your looks. That's all they have to go on. Conversation widens the scope. Personality comes out. You discover common interests.
I'll give an example.
There's a guy in high school I was attracted to. We flirted but never dated. We were seeing others. We made small talk but it never went further. He was a year ahead and we never had classes together. But I wanted to get into a science class and spoke with the teacher. He came in while we were talking. I asked was he in the class and he grinned and said yes.
The extra course would give me an overload. She made sure I understood and wanted the extra work. I could take it next term instead. But I didn't because Mr. Fine was there. Hello! I said yes and we exchanged looks.
On the first day he sat beside me. By the end of the term the attraction was solidified. We knew it was mutual and discovered more about the other in the process.
A couple of years later I walked into a store during holiday season. I used to cut through the men's department. There was less foot traffic. And he was there. We recognized each other immediately. I went over and said hello. We embraced and he kissed my cheek. We hadn't seen each other since school. He'd filled out and we complimented each other's appearance.
We didn't make a move. There was no pressure. All holiday jobs ended after the first of the year. I'd worked at the store in my teens. I knew how long he'd be there. And I came back. But I didn't see him. I shopped and returned to the department and asked where he was.
I was laden with packages and said he's helped me before. And they told me his schedule. The next time I came in I saw him. He was surprised and I mentioned my previous visit and told him what happened and he laughed. He asked for my number so he wouldn't miss me again. And I bought some stuff to help his commission.
..........
Male/female relationships require serve and volley. Each party must take action. You can't sit on your hands waiting for one person to do it all. And it's boring. There's no intrigue unless he's pursuing you like a conquest. Otherwise it feels flat. Reciprocity encourages continuance.