Anger and hate

seaofsand · Mar 12, 2021

I am looking for Orthodox thoughts on this issue, as I am considering conversion. I am very conservative, politically, and detest what I see happening to the United States and to the world. Mostly I am angry at the way these extremely liberal changes and policies affect children and teenagers. I am a teacher, and I see these effects every day.

I find myself feeling angry and hateful toward people on the political and cultural left. I am not sure how to deal with these feelings when, in my opinion, leftists are willfully destroying everything that is good and traditional in our society. And I do not want to hate anyone. My way of dealing with it so far has been to avoid those people as much as possible, but it's hard with my job and with how many young people are on that side of the spectrum today.

Any Orthodox opinions on dealing with feelings of bitterness and hate are appreciated. Thank you.

Ezana · Mar 12, 2021

We've got a few teachers here who might be able to offer some advice specific to your position. You aren't the only one struggling to ride the waves of our times.

MisterSmith999 · Mar 12, 2021

seaofsand said:
I am looking for Orthodox thoughts on this issue, as I am considering conversion. I am very conservative, politically, and detest what I see happening to the United States and to the world. Mostly I am angry at the way these extremely liberal changes and policies affect children and teenagers. I am a teacher, and I see these effects every day.

I find myself feeling angry and hateful toward people on the political and cultural left. I am not sure how to deal with these feelings when, in my opinion, leftists are willfully destroying everything that is good and traditional in our society. And I do not want to hate anyone. My way of dealing with it so far has been to avoid those people as much as possible, but it's hard with my job and with how many young people are on that side of the spectrum today.

Any Orthodox opinions on dealing with feelings of bitterness and hate are appreciated. Thank you.

What can we say about anger and hate except that they are the greatest tools in the devil's arsenal? With just anger and hate, he can control us as easily as he controls the world. Yes, some people's ways are different, and some outright sinful. But God DOES NOT hate the sinner, only the sin. Will it be easy to overcome our anger and hate, you better believe it will, but overcome it we must. Let God repay them. At a time and a place of His own choosing, God will right all the wrongs committed by those who have believed the devil and walked in his way. In love, there is no anger and in love, there is no hate.

Petros2015 · Mar 12, 2021

"He who said Do Not Lie also said Do Not Murder"
That helps me get through my day

That and the end of Gospel of John, when Christ looks at Peter and says
"what is it to you (about what John is doing or what Christ will do with John)? You, feed my sheep."

Lawrence87 · Mar 12, 2021

One thing that was a revelation to me concerning loving others is understanding how an important factor in love is granting freedom. God loves us, and he grants us freedom He does not force us to conform to how He would like us to act despite being Almighty. Often when we have resentment and ill will towards others it is because we hold to an idea that everyone ought to conform to what we would like. If we see the freedom that God grants to us in His great love for us, we can also see that we can love others despite their choices not matching up to what we would like. God allows them to be how they are, so should we. The particular book that hit this home for me was some passages in Meditations on a Theme by Anthony Bloom.

Also taking the magnifying glass to ourselves can be a help. If we really look at ourselves, how much we see that we are worthy of judgement. Looking at the shortcomings of others is a form of pride, look at those idiots over there, they don't understand the world like I do... etc etc. We all do this. But really if we were true to the faith we would not judge others, but condemn only ourselves. Look at how often you fall short and you will soon stop paying so much attention to the shortcomings of others. We are not as righteous as we might like to think!

Another thing specificially to do with politics, is that this world is not meant to be the Kingdom. What happens here is always going to be tainted. Stop looking for the earthly paradise, you're never going to get it. Focus solely on the Kingdom that is to come, place your hope solely in Christ and try not to be so caught up in the ways of the world.

ArmyMatt · Mar 12, 2021

pray for those who are angering you

Lukaris · Mar 12, 2021

Matters like this brought me to the Lord’s cross in the last 15-20 years. I still struggle in my faith journey and Great Lent is a good time to work on this.

Matters like trying to be wise as serpents ( Matthew 10:16) & praying for others alongside trying to do good works while avoiding the trap the Pharisee put himself in during the publican & Pharisee parable ( Luke 18:10-14).

MisterSmith999 · Mar 12, 2021

ArmyMatt said:
pray for those who are angering you

Amen, to that!

SalemsConcordance · Mar 12, 2021

I heard a Fr Thomas Hopko lecture on the Sermon on the Mount a while back and he listed everything that the Lord Jesus Christ commanded of us at the end, then asked "any questions?" It was very quiet - one man was a bit agitated and said "but that sounds impossible!" Fr Thomas Hopko replied, "at least someone is paying attention. Yes, without God, it is impossible." (paraphrased).

So I like try to remind myself that - especially for those I am angry at - it is impossible with myself alone.

I am only a catechumen/seeker, but this is what has helps me (by Gods grace) with a flash-temper and hateful disposition.

Prayers:
Morning prayer rule add:
St Gregory Palamas prayer for enemies (shorter)
The Saint Gregory Palamas Outreach: Orthodox Prayer for Enemies

Evening prayer rule add (its longer)
St Silouan prayer for enemies:
Prayers of St Silouan the Athonite

Day-to-day:
I use this line in the immediacy of my flash temper, and repeat it:
"even I bless them I do not curse them."

Whether for groups or individuals, which is part of a longer prayer for enemies by St Nikolai - its too long for me to pray and use, but it was informative reading.
Bless My Enemies O Lord - All Saints - Russian Orthodox Church Las Vegas

Elder Thaddeus, from Thoughts Determine our Life, also would frequently counsel people to ask God, "Lord send an angel of peace to __, and don't forget me as well."

seaofsand · Mar 13, 2021

I appreciate all of the responses here. Thank you for helping me think about this. I do believe that anger and bitterness are completely tied to our egos, and I guess feeling anger is a good time to check your own ego or lack of self-awareness. It is a good time to pray for others and also to pray that we remain clearheaded.

As often as I have felt angry over the last few months, and with the new administration making changes daily, I have plenty of opportunities now to practice prayer. Maybe that was part of God's plan for us during this time.

prodromos · Mar 13, 2021

ArmyMatt said:
pray for those who are angering you

And forgive them. When we harbor bitterness or anger towards someone, we bind ourselves to that person in a spiritually harmful manner which is damaging to both us and the party involved. If we forgive them, it releases us and gives us the freedom to love them.

ArmyMatt · Mar 14, 2021

prodromos said:
And forgive them. When we harbor bitterness or anger towards someone, we bind ourselves to that person in a spiritually harmful manner which is damaging to both us and the party involved. If we forgive them, it releases us and gives us the freedom to love them.

and even if you can't forgive them, ask that God would give you the grace to do so.

Dorothea · Mar 14, 2021

seaofsand said:
I am looking for Orthodox thoughts on this issue, as I am considering conversion. I am very conservative, politically, and detest what I see happening to the United States and to the world. Mostly I am angry at the way these extremely liberal changes and policies affect children and teenagers. I am a teacher, and I see these effects every day.

I find myself feeling angry and hateful toward people on the political and cultural left. I am not sure how to deal with these feelings when, in my opinion, leftists are willfully destroying everything that is good and traditional in our society. And I do not want to hate anyone. My way of dealing with it so far has been to avoid those people as much as possible, but it's hard with my job and with how many young people are on that side of the spectrum today.

Any Orthodox opinions on dealing with feelings of bitterness and hate are appreciated. Thank you.

Pray for those people you are feeling strong dislike for, and see them as fellow humans made in His Image. Know that the majority of people have the same needs, wants, feelings, dreams in their lives as you do. They're not as different as it may seem.

ArmyMatt · Mar 15, 2021

remember too as St John of Kronstadt says, never confuse the sinner with the sin he commits. the latter is worthy of your anger.

Mary of Bethany · Mar 15, 2021

And it may be helpful to remember that Satan is behind the spirit of this age. We all fall victim to this and hopefully it will drive us to prayer for them and for ourselves.

Anger and hate

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