Do YOU have a crush on anyone? (59)

bèlla · Mar 6, 2021

Class has nothing to do with effeminacy. It concerns ruler ship. Power is their goal. It intersects with wealth because they’re related.

Socioeconomic position influences mating practices. The more you bring to the table the narrower your options. Keepers exist in all tiers. What’s acceptable for one can be cataclysmic for the next. They have more to lose.

The more you climb the greater the emphasis on qualities beyond looks and youth. If you study powerful men you'll notice they don't marry the prettiest women. They require other attributes like honor, secrecy, loyalty, trustworthiness, poise and charm. You take what you know to the grave. That's their standard.

MehGuy · Mar 6, 2021

I am not sure how much we disagree here. My main point being that powerful men tend to stray from their wives with younger women. If that's what you mean by "You take what you now to the grave". At the end of the day they are exchanging genetic material with low class women. Men's inner biological desires still prevail no matter how pretty society and class might paint the veil.

These "Queens' are more mere figureheads in what I suspect are mostly loveless marriages.

ReesePiece23 · Mar 6, 2021

MehGuy said:
I do not really believe in the concept of an "alpha" female. If one wants to strictly indulge their natural biological desires women will tend to want a man with high resources and status, but on the flipside men who strictly indulge their natural biological desires will seek women who are biologically relevant. Mainly young and fertile, women in their early 20s.

Occasionally I browse the reddit sub-forum "Female Dating Strategy" and some of the terminology they commonly use makes me laugh. Most of the women there refer to themselves as "Queens" who deserve their own "King" but unfortunately most men are "manbabies" and "losers" to them. If there is any truth to the complaints about men around them I suspect that these women live in low income areas. That they project what they see from their demographic onto the demographic of men at large across the country.

Ignoring the idea that many of these women are probably in a low station themselves, the few who are monetarily successful do not understand that this does not have the same weight in a man's eyes. Men being the ones not burdened with the limiting reproductive reality of having to commit nine months to a pregnancy simply evolved different reproductive strategies and tastes. For men this is mainly honing in on reproductive relevant females, mainly young women in their early 20s. Women get starry eyes over status and wealth and men get starry eyed with fertile women.

Which brings me back to why some of the terminology on "Female Dating Strategy" makes me laugh. While these women say they desire and deserve a "King" because they view themselves as "Queens" historically these Kings eventually tended to ignore their Queens and sought after younger women. Younger women who were not even high in station. Slaves, servants and etc. You see this behavior described in the Hebrew Kings of the Old Testament.

I'll revise my previous post slightly by saying that it was harsh wording. Because I actually met up with a woman for drinks once who was fiercely feminist on social media and hailed the 'alpha male', but when she was with me, she was actually a sweet girl. So, perhaps assume BS on the front they portray until you've gotten to know them. If they're still bossy and demanding after that - and they want to try and change you, then yeah... Sack them off.

^ I only say that because I suddenly remembered that girl as I read your post. (I'll have to see if she's up for meeting again after these restrictions are lifted actually. She's got five years on me, but she's one of those genetically gifted Asian types who look 21 when they're really 35. And she routinely DM's, usually in the very early hours of the morning when I'm thinking about sleep.)

I'm often described as an alpha male but I don't really feel it. I'm sensitive in certain areas and I honestly say that with pride, because it makes me a better person. I'm a thoroughbred craftsman who thinks visually with emotional intelligence. It's not exactly 'alpha' by any means.

Unfortunately, I don't like actual young women. They look a bit doughy and underdone to me. Women in the their mid 30s and older start to look about right.

It's just my preference, don't shoot me down.

MehGuy · Mar 6, 2021

Isaiah 2:22 said:
Interesting. It sounds like she was attracted to you from the beginning. Before you even talked. Otherwise she probably wouldn't have gone out of her way to start conversations with you all the time. And then you acted too interested and she developed a crush on you. This is my current theory and I'm sticking to it.

Ewww.. I really hope not..

bèlla · Mar 6, 2021

Infidelity is a choice. Whether one is rich or poor has little to do with your decision to stray. Bedding someone doesn't make them a prize. If you wanted them you'd make it happen. Few blow up their circumstances for a dalliance. The stakes are too high.

Moneyed people don't view biology in the context you've described. They apply it eugenically. They look for good genes and weed out the rest. That means little to no genetic abnormalities and health conditions. They're want to strengthen their line. That's who they breed with.

MehGuy · Mar 6, 2021

bèlla said:
Infidelity is a choice. Whether one is rich or poor has little to do with your decision to stray. Bedding someone doesn't make them a prize. If you wanted them you'd make it happen. Few blow up their circumstances for a dalliance. The stakes are too high.

Of course poor or rich men are going to have the same biological programming. My original point being alpha women in the sense of alpha men do not exist. Men rich or poor just want pretty young women at the end of the day. I guess you could call those "alpha" but it just sounds weird.. and not in the spirit of how the term is applied to men.

Bedding them doesn't make them a prize, but younger women do give off feminine vibes older women cannot and the idea that strong romantic feelings didn't frequently develop is not likely. Doesn't really matter if they felt social pressure to keep it under wrap. That's no bearing to stop the feelings.

Moneyed people don't view biology in the context you've described. They apply it eugenically. They look for good genes and weed out the rest. That means little to no genetic abnormalities and health conditions. They're want to strengthen their line. That's who they breed with.

A lot of which can be told simply by looking at the face, body and youthfulness of a woman.

Sorry but I can't help but think about the interbreeding that sometimes occurs to keep the class line. I'm not really sure how stringent the upper classes are about these things compared to the lower ones.

bèlla · Mar 6, 2021

When discussing disparities we must be honest. Some men are uncomfortable with women earning the lion's share. He defines himself by livelihood or wants to be the breadwinner. She isn't an ideal fit. They'll always have contention.

It's one of the things you don't know until it happens. A person can be comfortable in the early stages and feel differently later on. Depending on the scale, there's merits to holding out. Sizable gaps can make him feel emasculated.

The desire to build with someone may be difficult. Especially when one party moves faster than the next. Competition and disgruntlement are common.

That's where power couples come in. They have a shared ethos and end goal. Every gain towards the mark is celebrated. The collective is key. They're not competing.

Religion doesn't always alter it. Sometimes they're more controlling or insistent on recognition. They can grow resentful. They don't like being in their shadow.

MehGuy · Mar 6, 2021

ReesePiece23 said:
I'll revise my previous post slightly by saying that it was harsh wording. Because I actually met up with a woman for drinks once who was fiercely feminist on social media and hailed the 'alpha male', but when she was with me, she was actually a sweet girl. So, perhaps assume on the front they portray until you've gotten to know them. If they're still bossy and demanding after that - and they want to try and change you, then yeah... Sack them off.

I know that. Many feminists are at least smart enough to know not to act obnoxious and hateful when around men.. although I'd be wary of dating one long term. Problematic behaviors and mindsets will probably become more of an issue the closer you become.

I'm often described as an alpha male but I don't really feel it. I'm sensitive in certain areas and I honestly say that with pride, because it makes me a better person. I'm a thoroughbred craftsman who thinks visually with emotional intelligence. It's not exactly 'alpha' by any means.

Lol.. don't anyone would describe me as an alpha male. Besides being short my skeletal frame is quite small due to neoteny. Although this probably indicates at least that my relatives in the past were more alpha male looking since they were able to mate with the more hyper feminine looking women.. just that over generations that can denigrate the male lineage in terms of masculine looks.

The only alpha traits are probably that I'm an independent thinker and fight hard for the ideals and beliefs I have.

Unfortunately, I don't like actual young women. They look a bit doughy and underdone to me. Women in the their mid 30s and older start to look about right.

It's just my preference, don't shoot me down.

What do you mean by doughy? Lol.

Have you always liked women in this age range?

bèlla · Mar 6, 2021

MehGuy said:
Of course poor or rich men are going to have the same biological programming. My original point being alpha women in the sense of alpha men do not exist. Men rich or poor just want pretty young women at the end of the day. I guess you could call those "alpha" but it just sounds weird.. and not in the spirit of how the term is applied to men.

We're addressing a natural propensity to lead. It's innate. The methods they undertake to exert their authority differs. In light of our setting, Christian men and women won't employ the same tactics others use. It would transgress their faith.

Bedding them doesn't make them a prize, but younger women do give off feminine vibes older women cannot and the idea that strong romantic feelings didn't frequently develop is not likely. Doesn't really matter if they felt social pressure to keep it under wrap. That's no bearing to stop the feelings.

Feelings are secondary to position and legacy. They'll uphold the name no matter what. It's an institution unto itself that takes precedence. That doesn't hold true for all.

A lot of which can be told simply by looking at the face, body and youthfulness of a woman.

No you can't. You need to see health records and gene pool.

Sorry but I can't help but think about the interbreeding that sometimes occurs to keep the class line. I'm not really sure how stringent the upper classes are about these things compared to the lower ones.

Interbreeding created problems. Look at the Hapsburgs. Widening the net introduces new genes into the pool and offset the problem ones.

MehGuy · Mar 6, 2021

bèlla said:
We're addressing a natural propensity to lead. It's innate. The methods they undertake to exert their authority differs. In light of our setting, Christian men and women won't employ the same tactics others use. It would transgress their faith.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Feelings are secondary to position and legacy. They'll uphold the name no matter what. It's an institution unto itself that takes precedence. That doesn't hold true for all.

Still a shallow, loveless marriage.

No you can't. You need to see health records and gene pool.

When compared to modern genetic testing, no. Yet you can still tell a lot about the health of a person simply be looking at their face. We evolved for thousands of years and our brain has developed subtle cues to see who and and who isn't a good mate.

Such as symmetry, jaw alignment and etc.

Personally I do not believe men and women are shallow enough to break up with someone who passes the visual test, yet failed the genetic one. Would you?

Miles · Mar 6, 2021

ReesePiece23 said:
It's worth giving any such woman a wide berth. They don't like it when WE rate them on a scale of one to ten do they? - Which I don't do, by the way. Nor am I bothered about slotting into the alpha or beta categories

I might roll my eyes a little when people insist that the alpha/beta dynamic is a universal truth, but that's their loss. Such black and white thinking is rarely accurate or meaningful. Reality is more nuanced and interesting.

ReesePiece23 said:
I'm a little more abstract than that.. Which is probably why I like them a little crazy and artistic.

That's my type, too. Not literally crazy, I suppose, but creative and what some might consider eccentric. A woman who is imaginative, endearing, and more interested in being her own person.

ReesePiece23 · Mar 6, 2021

Miles said:
I might roll my eyes a little when people insist that the alpha/beta dynamic is a universal truth, but that's their loss. Such black and white thinking is rarely accurate or meaningful. Reality is more nuanced and interesting.

That's my type, too. Not literally crazy, I suppose, but creative and what some might consider eccentric. A woman who is imaginative, endearing, and more interested in being her own person.

I think a lot of it is social engineering, but I also feel as if people are looking to fill a void in their character. Because from observation, the ones who derive pleasure mostly from the creative arts and/or undertake a vocational career, seem far less susceptible to this black and white thinking.

I used to get a lot of veterinary students come to me for work placements in the summer, and they'd routinely vent to me about how silly their friends opinions of the world had gotten - friends who were in the rat race, or just bumbling about.

Yeah, what does the devil do with idle hands again?

But, no. I know what you mean. Crazy takes on many meanings - the number one meaning of course being interesting.

Let's face it, 70 years is a long time to stare at the same face over on the other side of the Corn Flakes every morning. It's even worse if they're polarised and stubborn to evolve as an individual. With the artsy types you KNOW that they're going to keep you guessing.

ReesePiece23 · Mar 6, 2021

MehGuy said:
I know that. Many feminists are at least smart enough to know not to act obnoxious and hateful when around men.. although I'd be wary of dating one long term. Problematic behaviors and mindsets will probably become more of an issue the closer you become.

Lol.. don't anyone would describe me as an alpha male. Besides being short my skeletal frame is quite small due to neoteny. Although this probably indicates at least that my relatives in the past were more alpha male looking since they were able to mate with the more hyper feminine looking women.. just that over generations that can denigrate the male lineage in terms of masculine looks.

The only alpha traits are probably that I'm an independent thinker and fight hard for the ideals and beliefs I have.

What do you mean by doughy? Lol.

Have you always liked women in this age range?

I've known a LOT of 4ft 11" alpha types. I think it's an attitude more than anything else. Because I've also know a lot of 6ft 5" musclebound cry babies.

By doughy I just mean a bit juvenile and soft in appearance. Women seem to develop a certain maturity and muscular definition to their shape that a younger woman can't. It's subtle, but it's there. (It has nothing to do with body fat percentage either.)

My 32 year old cousin just got his 18 year old finance pregnant and I can't see what he sees in her. Nice girl, but yeah... She's very much a girl. It wouldn't even cross my mind to even talk to her unless I was asking for the time.

I think 25 was when my attention turned to slightly older women. Before that I was either plus or minus two years.

DragonFox91 · Mar 6, 2021

MehGuy said:
Ignoring the idea that many of these women are probably in a low station themselves, the few who are monetarily successful do not understand that this does not have the same weight in a man's eyes. .

Lot to unpack in your post, but I'll just hi-light this. I'd consider myself upper middle-class. I want someone of the same class. I sense envy & jealousy from those "below" me. It wouldn't be a good match.

There's also your dead-beats who expect the woman to make much of the dough....or that's what ends up happening down the line, at least.

bèlla said:
Biology doesn’t address class and that’s where wealth and standing come in. There are men and women who will never mate with someone outside of their sphere.

Class is the rarest and most desirable quality in the dating market. You can surgically enhance your appearance. Acquire wealth, an education, and good connections.

But you can’t change where you’re born or who you’re born to. That’s why its desirable. It rewards the few and their offspring.

Appearance is hardest to fix. There's stigmas to surgery, & I imagine it's not cheap. You can try fashion, & so that's what a lot of people do, but it's just putting a mask over it, & many people can see thru the mask.

ReesePiece23 said:
I'm often described as an alpha male but I don't really feel it. I'm sensitive in certain areas and I honestly say that with pride, because it makes me a better person. I'm a thoroughbred craftsman who thinks visually with emotional intelligence. It's not exactly 'alpha' by any means.

Alphas are the 'head of the table' or 'life of the party' during social events.

MehGuy · Mar 6, 2021

ReesePiece23 said:
I've known a LOT of 4ft 11" alpha types. I think it's an attitude more than anything else. Because I've also know a lot of 6ft 5" musclebound cry babies.

4ft 11"? Is this men? I cannot imagine meeting too many men of that height.. let alone alpha types.

Doesn't really matter to me, I don't desire to be an alpha type. I'm neither a leader nor a follower.. I just do my own thing and if people don't like it.. that's just the way it has to be.

By doughy I just mean a bit juvenile and soft in appearance. Women seem to develop a certain maturity and muscular definition to their shape that a younger woman can't. It's subtle, but it's there. (It has nothing to do with body fat percentage either.)

I like softer skin, just screams more feminine. Rougher skin looks more masculine to me.. something men can rock if they manage to stay fit.

My 32 year old cousin just got his 18 year old finance pregnant and I can't see what he sees in her. Nice girl, but yeah... She's very much a girl. It wouldn't even cross my mind to even talk to her unless I was asking for the time.

My 25 year old sister is dating a man in his 50s. Lol.

A big part of the allure men have for a much younger woman is that she gives off vulnerable vibes. Real or not a younger women can more easily be seen as submissive and one that needs to be taken care of. Given evolutionary psychology and women being more neotenous than men.. I think it's clear that men by and large evolved to have a more parental mindset and a woman a more childlike one.

I think 25 was when my attention turned to slightly older women. Before that I was either plus or minus two years.

Weird.. when I turned 25 youthfulness starting becoming important to me.. while before I just wanted a woman around my age.

I sort of hope you turn around.. but a guy likes what he likes lol..

MehGuy · Mar 6, 2021

DragonFox91 said:
Lot to unpack in your post, but I'll just hi-light this. I'd consider myself upper middle-class. I want someone of the same class. I sense envy & jealousy from those "below" me. It wouldn't be a good match.

Unless she's a masculine woman or blinded by feminism.. I don't see many feminine women having problems with being envious and jealous if their man brings home most of the bacon.

There's also your dead-beats who expect the woman to make much of the dough....or that's what ends up happening down the line, at least.

Funny how a man is a dead beat if he expects women to make most of the dough but not the other way around.

DragonFox91 · Mar 6, 2021

Youthfulness is certainly attractive, but not sure how good that really is in a partner long-term, at least for me. Early 20s, girls are still trying to figure out who they are & what they want in life. Most wouldn't be mature enough for me. (I think that what one of my problems back when I was that age. Not that there weren't mature women, so don't get mad at me ladies, just a lot of them weren't.) I'm 29 & girls couple years older, couple years younger, still look GORGEOUS.

Also, yes, many really, really short men are Alpha by a mile.

MehGuy · Mar 6, 2021

DragonFox91 said:
Youthfulness is certainly attractive, but not sure how good that really is in a partner long-term, at least for me. Early 20s, girls are still trying to figure out who they are & what they want in life. Most wouldn't be mature enough for me. (I think that what one of my problems back when I was that age. Not that there weren't mature women, so don't get mad at me ladies, just a lot of them weren't.) I'm 29 & girls couple years older, couple years younger, still look GORGEOUS.

Also, yes, many really, really short men are Alpha by a mile.

I guess I find some of the immaturity appealing.. depends on the immaturity though. Not all young women are vapid and fickle.

I find women my age good looking too, although most are missing that feminine vibe a younger woman possesses. Plus the 30s is not kind to most women.. nor men.. although when it comes to aging if a man takes care of himself I think it tends to agree with him more.

DragonFox91 · Mar 6, 2021

MehGuy said:
Unless she's a masculine woman or blinded by feminism.. I don't see many feminine women having problems with being envious and jealous if their man brings home most of the bacon.

Class envy is definitely a thing.

MehGuy said:
Funny how a man is a dead beat if he expects women to make most of the dough but not the other way around.

I guess it depends on what else he can provide. Like if he's handy around the house, for example.

Women typically aren't described as deadbeats b/c they do other things like homemaking & caring for children.

DragonFox91 · Mar 6, 2021

Parents leaning towards going to church tomorrow.

Honestly, I wish they weren't. I'm enjoying my time going to 'my church', plus my crush is probably just fantasy like someone on here said 99% of crushes don't work out.

Do YOU have a crush on anyone? (59)

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