To live a life of obedience and repentance means you have to subject yourself to a standard to measure yourself by. That standard is God's law. And He demands 100% obedience or face the consequences. I don't live a life of obedience and repentance. I live a life of trust and dependence.
A life of obedience and repentance is a life of focusing on myself and what I am doing or not doing. A life of trust and dependence is a life of focusing on God and what He is doing in and through me.
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me (Galatians 2:20)."
Grace and Peace.
I have heard this point of view before. It relies on polarising the walk of love into a walk of sin which is striving for perfection. God made a way through grace that we might aim to walk in His love and life, though we fail many times, we pick ourselves up and are changed in the process.
A legalist says it is just about laws and rules, like being in the army. Jesus says it is about the heart and purity within, honesty and openness to the things that are eternal and leaving behind the things that are of this world.
Jesus started His ministry with repent for the Kingdom of God is near. John the Baptist was the sign pointing to the Kingdom and its message was repent of you sins and accept forgiveness through baptism of water. Jesus brought baptism of the Spirit and an anointing that changes us.
The problem with the language of scripture is it is coloured by peoples experience. Many free grace followers are ex-legalists, and view faith as just obeying rules until they came under grace with no rules. We are sinners not because we sin, but because we do not dwell in Christ and His heart.
You claim to be dependent on Jesus, which if true means you can walk in His ways.
Most I have met who share like you do, find love from the heart too difficult, and are defeated within and have given up, believing Christ makes God blind to believers sin, and heaven is full of sinners clothed in a perfect cloak. For this to be true, heaven is broken.
If one holds God transforms the sinner believer into a perfect saint at the resurrection, why not turn worldly people into perfect saints as it is nothing of us and all of Him. It is a version of universalism but limited to believers. Except if a believer is no different than the world, of what value and reality is the living God living in them making? The Holy Temple is polluted and the gospel broken.
Our walk is expected to be in stages, through trials and difficulties, which is why sacrifices for the sins of Israel were always lifted up.
Listen to Paul. He wanted to present to Jesus the believers without fault or blemish on the day Jesus returns. He did not want to present sinners covered by Christs blood, defeated and failures. The apostles called those who would never enter the Kingdom those who are cowards. They meant those who compromise to sin and give up, who do not fight through and take the worlds road and are lost.
Many are called, few are chosen. The calling is worthy, but have we really responded.
Peters answer was to say make your calling certain by putting on brotherly love.
It is clear their view was transformation and communion reflected in our lives through repentance and obedience. God bless you
