If God wills it?

James 4:15 says, "Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”

As a born-again Christian, who lives for the Lord Jesus Christ, and has their lives directed as much as possible, by the Holy Spirit. It is important that we pray and seek guidance from the Lord in all that we do. Getting married is one very important decision for anyone, as it is essential that we seek the Lord earnestly on this. The Lord alone knows all things, and He is therefor the best to guide us in whether we should get married or stay single. In 1 Corinthians 7:8 Paul says, "But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am". Which could mean, that Paul was unmarried, or married and lost his wife. Either way, he says at this time, that he was single. He clearly says that being single can be a "good" thing. However, he also says, in verse 9, "But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust". This whole chapter is very good advice for both married and single people.

It is a choice, but should be made with the Lord guiding

The first woman I asked to marry me I had a lot of things happen to lead me to believe that the answer to my prays was to marry Joann. But she said no.
I still continued to pray but never had God give me as many clues as I had on the 1st one. I did fine a woman in Bible College how had all the characteristics that I felt would make a great wife. We had a great relationship for 28 years in many ways. But in the end I was a failure at monogamy and she was going more conservative and I was finding God leading me more liberal. So we parted ways.
Since then I know what works for me and I'm able to fine that. I've has a number of great relationships that have brought all of us closer to God and we all all still friends if not lovers. Ya, I'm not in the 50's mode of Christian relationship that some say is the only way. But I am loving and ethical and open and connected and fulfilling the commandment to love. Which is the only way the Bible tells us that we can fulfill the law.

dayhiker said:

God leading me more liberal

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You are blaming God for your "liberal" actions? meaning exactly what?

Is Singleness or Marriage a choice?

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I believe singleness and marriage are a choice. If our kingdom mission requires us to be unwed the Lord provides the ability to do so and a clear word from Him. Most people called to singleness cite practical reasons and experiences that led them there.

Does God choose your mate? How much responsibility do you as a single person have in meeting/securing a mate?

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I think there are instances when the Lord brings people together for a mission. He’s accomplishing a work through them and their behavior shows it. They’re kingdom minded.

I don’t put that in the same category as the often stated “the Lord led me to my husband/wife.”

Divine unions are rarely based on attraction or suitability. There can be differences in age, appearance, background, etc. that could warrant a different response in typical relations. But in this instance they take a back seat to the greater goal.

In these unions love comes softly. Feelings take time to develop and settling in is a process. If you open your heart to the process and allow the growing pains it can be wonderful.

Whether they’re divine or undertaken by us, we need the Lord’s input. Allowing Him to order our steps can be difficult. But we should involve Him. That doesn’t mean sitting on your hands and waiting for someone to fall in your lap. We must be willing to do our part to bring the relationship to fruition.

We can’t use God as an excuse when we’re afraid or don’t want to take action. That’s a copout.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

bèlla said:

Divine unions are rarely based on attraction or suitability

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and how do you arrive at this? How many people do you know marry someone they do not have a physical "attraction" to? Or, are "unsuitable"?

Its all up to us.

God not only loves us enough to allow us the choice, but he loves us enough to allow us to learn from our mistakes.

The more we have faith in and learn the ways of God, at least in my view, the less first time mistakes we will make.

In-Christ-Alone said:

and how do you arrive at this? How many people do you know marry someone they do not have a physical "attraction" to? Or, are "unsuitable"?

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Derek Prince recounted his experiences in God Is a Matchmaker.

People enter relationships for many reasons. Some unions are missional. Whether God authors it or they’re driven by personal conviction. Accomplishing a goal is central to their connection and they mate along those lines.

By unsuitable, I don’t mean character wise. It typically applies to disparities between the two.

~bella

quietpraiyze said:

I've often heard Single people say "if God's will is for me to be married" but is that biblically correct? Does God choose your mate? How much responsibility do you as a single person have in meeting/securing a mate?

Is Singleness or Marriage a choice?

Let's talk about this. Let's also remember we all come from different backgrounds including denominational. So let's be respectful and not jump to conclusions.

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I dont think the phrase " if God wills it " has anything to do with your pursuit. It is like everything else we do in our life , not giving much thought if God willed it or not, we continue to pursue. If it comes to fruition and it is good, then we can say with certanty that it was the will of God. Be blessed.

Maria Billingsley said:

I dont think the phrase " if God wills it " has anything to do with your pursuit. It is like everything else we do in our life , not giving much thought if God willed it or not, we continue to pursue. If it comes to fruition and it is good, then we can say with certanty that it was the will of God. Be blessed.

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as a true follower of the Lord Jesus Christ, God's will must be central to everything that we do, which must include whether we marry or not!

In-Christ-Alone said:

as a true follower of the Lord Jesus Christ, God's will must be central to everything that we do, which must include whether we marry or not!

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Yes, and if one sits idle with no pursuit, it can also be the rejection of God's will.
Moral of the story, we are always active in seeking God's will for our lives.
Be blessed.

In-Christ-Alone said:

You are blaming God for your "liberal" actions? meaning exactly what?

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No God has been building compassion in my heart for the poor. As a Christian I can vote to keep people living on $7 per hour. So I have to switch from the way I saw things in the past to a new more Biblical point of view.

I think dating and marital preparation are the parent's domain. Not the church.

~bella

Tho, by the time we are mature singles it's our own responsibility. I'm thinking

dayhiker said:

Tho, by the time we are mature singles it's our own responsibility. I'm thinking

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I agree. Most of the wacky ideas and crazy slogans don’t hail from home. It appears there’s a grave disconnection between what singles are seeking and what they’re told advised to look for.

My daughter is young but we’ll look on her behalf. She didn’t grow up with that rhetoric and I’d like someone spiritually level-headed if possible.

~bella

quietpraiyze said:

I've often heard Single people say "if God's will is for me to be married" but is that biblically correct? Does God choose your mate? How much responsibility do you as a single person have in meeting/securing a mate?

Is Singleness or Marriage a choice?

Let's talk about this. Let's also remember we all come from different backgrounds including denominational. So let's be respectful and not jump to conclusions.

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Genesis 24.

What clinched the deal,

Genesis 24:19

Would reckon.

I don't have any camels for a woman to water ... Guess I can't find a wife!

quietpraiyze said:

Because this is a discussion, I'm going to ask that you explain what YOU mean by the quotes you posted...Thanx.

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An example of what to look for.

Goodness,kindness willingness to go the extra yard or mile,
without being asked.