Ask them out on a date: "I'll pray about it"

ReesePiece23 · Feb 23, 2021

DragonFox91 said:
I don't see anything wrong at all w/ someone saying they'll pray about it. Of course you & them should be praying about it!!!

But using that as a sort of pick-up line: a man definitely shouldn't say it

When things start getting serious, yes.

But not before you've seen out the first six months; the first six months of a relationship are crazy enough as it is without saying things like that. It's just WAY too much pressure WAY too early.

If they pull away and seem to lose interest in you, encourage it I say. Give them the space to mull it over. Pray for your own respective journeys.

A bit off topic, but a tip for the future. I just thought to make a note of it. (Getting old, my mind does that.)

bèlla · Feb 23, 2021

Kenny'sID said:
Yet, I would guess many respond quite well to disinterest.

Not sure what you meant by "eliminating problems".

They don’t want a negative reaction and will avoid conflict to prevent it.

ReesePiece23 · Feb 23, 2021

DragonFox91 said:
We are encouraged to pray constantly. I actually want to get better at this.

I do pray constantly, but the subjects are in order of priority so that I can maximise output. I see it as learning chords on the guitar.

But a subject for another time.

DragonFox91 · Feb 23, 2021

ReesePiece23 said:
But not before you've seen out the first six months; the first six months of a relationship are crazy enough as it is without saying things like that. It's just WAY too much pressure WAY too early.

That's very unfortunate prayer getting tossed out the window during the first 6 months of a relationship.

ReesePiece23 said:
If they pull away and seem to lose interest in you, encourage it I say. Give them the space to mull it over. Pray for your own respective journeys.

Yes

Sophrosyne · Feb 23, 2021

bèlla said:
Some people don’t acknowledge or respond well to disinterest. “I’ll pray” may be a way of eliminating problems.

Or rejection...... but I digress in that the phrase would have to consider the person who is saying it. Someone that is very cautious that is asked for a date by someone that has a bad history but is suddenly "changed" it often is hard to ascertain the truth as to the intentions of the person asking.

ReesePiece23 · Feb 23, 2021

DragonFox91 said:
That's very unfortunate prayer getting tossed out the window during the first 6 months of a relationship.

My prayer my business. When I'm ready to share something so intimate with someone else I will.

But it won't be with a random woman who's only known me five minutes.

DragonFox91 · Feb 23, 2021

ReesePiece23 said:
My prayer my business. When I'm ready to share something so intimate with someone else I will.

But it won't be with a random woman who's only known me five minutes.

Oh okay, that makes sense. I may've misunderstood. I was thinking for some reason you meant not even talking about prayer.

bèlla · Feb 23, 2021

Sophrosyne said:
Or rejection...... but I digress in that the phrase would have to consider the person who is saying it. Someone that is very cautious that is asked for a date by someone that has a bad history but is suddenly "changed" it often is hard to ascertain the truth as to the intentions of the person asking.

That makes sense.

I use prayer as a barometer for my heart and interest. I pray for my prospects and pay attention when I have difficulty praying or I’m ho-hum.

Oftentimes it implies a lack of spiritual connection. But if I’m flat and it feels lackluster I pay attention. I’m not onboard. Something’s holding me back.

When I’ve truly clicked with someone I want to pray.

ReesePiece23 · Feb 23, 2021

DragonFox91 said:
Oh okay, that makes sense. I may've misunderstood. I was thinking for some reason you meant not even talking about prayer.

I didn't mean to come off as blunt by the way. I do sometimes, I'm British. We just fire in usually.

sunshineforJesus · Feb 23, 2021

I think if someone tells you,Ill pray about it before agreeing to date you
it means they are unsure about it and perhaps dont want to date.

Sophrosyne · Feb 23, 2021

bèlla said:
That makes sense.

I use prayer as a barometer for my heart and interest. I pray for my prospects and pay attention when I have difficulty praying or I’m ho-hum.

Oftentimes it implies a lack of spiritual connection. But if I’m flat and it feels lackluster I pay attention. I’m not onboard. Something’s holding me back.

When I’ve truly clicked with someone I want to pray.

If I ever came across someone that clicked with me it would probably scare all the fertilizer out of me and I would be praying too.

bèlla · Feb 24, 2021

Sophrosyne said:
If I ever came across someone that clicked with me it would probably scare all the fertilizer out of me and I would be praying too.

I’m certain you’re pretty clickable.

Sophrosyne · Feb 24, 2021

bèlla said:
I’m certain you’re pretty clickable.

only when I duct tape a remote to my forehead.

bèlla · Feb 24, 2021

Sophrosyne said:
only when I duct tape a remote to my forehead.

C’mon. Fertilizer is super swoony!

Sophrosyne · Feb 24, 2021

bèlla said:
C’mon. Fertilizer is super swoony!

only if you give it a good snort

bèlla · Feb 24, 2021

Sophrosyne said:
only if you give it a good snort

Then you’ll faint!

Are you a farmer or homesteader?

Isaiah 2:22 · Feb 24, 2021

sunshineforJesus said:
I think if someone tells you,Ill pray about it before agreeing to date you
it means they are unsure about it and perhaps dont want to date.

Yup! It's an excuse, in other words. I think someone said something similar up-thread. It's like the secular "I don't have time" excuse. Using religious language like that as a petty excuse for not dating someone seems to be the point of this thread. The article OP linked takes exception to it. I think people are getting a little sidetracked and taking it literally. Like, you should never pray about a new relationship. That's not what the article is saying at all.

zxcv · Feb 24, 2021

ThisIsMe123 said:
As a Christian, this is something I don't get. You ask someone out, and they say they will "Pray about it".

I Googled this, and saw this article about how Christian dating these days is weird.

The article starts off with Christians saying things to their prospects,"I prayed to God, and he said that we'll be together" or "God sent you to me in a dream" and inferring that that person will be your future spouse:

There's just something so cringy about these responses.

Why Is Christian Dating So Weird? | RELEVANT

Some Christians make dating weird through over spiritual language. Has someone responded with “I will pray” when you asked them on a date? I heard it once. Cringe. There’s also the Christian classic, “God didn’t give me peace about you” when breaking up. These lines are simply a softer version of God-said-this and God-told-me-that wackiness. You could label these lines “spiritual euphemisms.”

Notice there's even an excuse they use God to break up a relationship.

So when people use this verbiage, in the context of dating, is it truly rather strange and cringy for you? Even as a Christian?

I mean, if you express interest in someone, don't say God told you, it is YOU that wants to.

I'd pretty much take that as a rejection.

DragonFox91 · Feb 24, 2021

zxcv said:
I'd pretty much take that as a rejection.

Me too, but I always get rejected so what do I know

ReesePiece23 · Feb 24, 2021

On CF, I've been compared to Adam Levine, Christian Bale, a Greek God (someone in the reps) and *I* have been rejected more times than most of you have made forum posts.

Don't let it get to you when it happens. If you're pursuing the opposite sex, it WILL happen. It's a guarantee.

But in pursuing, you'll also meet dozens of takers - that is also a guarantee.

Moral of the story, own your uniqueness - be comfortable with it, and create a signature personality through a base of authenticity.

Ugly or hot - they ultimately count for nothing.

Ask them out on a date: "I'll pray about it"

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