Let me say thanks to everyone who has posted so far. I have seen some comments that actually have made me do some really heavy thinking.
I know that sexual sin is wrong. I know that im a sinner. I think i have a better idea now about being more honest with myself about being saved and why im not.
First, i can physically feel joy at inappropriate contentography. I cant say the same of Jesus. How could i?? Im not saved.
Second, i dont know how to repent, and change my mind about hating something i currently love.
Third, asking someone to hate sex after 30 something years is like asking me to never get angry again in my life i feel. How do you suppress a natural act??
Do you want to be saved?
I know you posted about your denominational teaching - personally I can't believe that the God who made everyone in his image and who is love, sits in heaven thinking, "shall I save him? No, don't think so." That would mean that since no one is saved by their own works, salvation would be simply on the whim of God; whatever he felt like doing.
It would also mean that there was no way he could punish you for your sin - if he had chosen not to save you from your sin, he couldn't reasonably complain if you chose to indulge in it. And why, after death, would he condemn someone to hell for not accepting his Son when he had decreed that they would never be chosen to do that?
Jesus said that everyone who accepted him would receive eternal life - not "only those whom God has chosen"; everyone. It is God's will that people believe in Jesus and have eternal life, John 6:40.
You and I can only come near to God because of Jesus' death on the cross - his life offered as a sacrifice for ours. Sins creates a barrier between man and God - unless that barrier were removed, the gap between us bridged, no one would be able to pray to God and come into his presence. Jesus did that. He has made it possible for us to come into God's presence, have our sins forgiven, be at peace with God and be reconciled to him. God, for us, need not be some scary being sitting on a cloud, waiting for us to make a wrong move so's he can zap us; nor someone we have to approach through prophets, or with many animal sacrifices. The Creator of the universe, the One who created all things from nothing is our Heavenly dad and wants us to know him, have a relationship with him; more than that, he wants us to have gifts from his Holy Spirit and every spiritual blessing - peace, joy, assurance, security etc etc - through his Son, Ephesians 1:3.
All this is an undeserved, free gift from God - free, because even if we got spiritual money for all our deeds, we could never afford it. But God didn't wait for that; Christ died for sinners, Romans 5:8.
Yet there IS a price to pay; God wants us to repent and turn away from our sins and want to turn to him. He wants us - dirty, sinful, wretched, poor as we are; he wants only that we give ourselves to him. He loves to restore people - especially people who the world, or the church, consider to be hopeless - and longs that all of us become the people that he made us to be.
Some people don't want to know this - the idea of giving up their particular sin in order to get to know God better and be cleansed by him, is not that attractive. They love their sin and want to keep it. That might be you at the moment, but all you need is to be willing to be willing to repent, and willing that your sin may be taken from you. If you are, tell him so ad call out to him; he'll do the rest.
No one asks Christians to hate sex, by the way. If we were to do that, no one would have any children and the Christian faith would have died out years ago.