Believers in my life run away, non-believer friends support better

Healing with Jesus said:

Not sure what's going on here. I'm extremely isolated, home schooling my three kids. Going through the hardest time with health problems, divorce, and trauma recovery. The few people I know who are believers flee when I share my burdens. And of course I listen too, I'm a supportive and responsive person, I don't just unload. Whereas, the non-believers in my life (some anyway) stick around and support me.

Not sure how to navigate this. My church is extremely small, like 10 people, and only online through Facebook. No interaction except the disjointed/ FB filtered comments section. And I just started going there a couple months ago so they don't know me. I reached out to the pastor asking if there's someone I can connect with, so I hope he writes back.

I don't want to be foolish and have my mind tainted by the world. But the non-believers in my life have been more interested in sticking it out with me during my hardest times.

Most likely spiritual warfare, but that doesn't change the situation. And the non-believers aren't toxic people. So if I have to choose between support from folks and nothing.....

Please, it's not helpful to paste a bunch of Bible verses about not sitting in the counsel of the wicked, being unequally yoked, etc. I get it. I know a good bit of Scripture. But I am wondering how specifically to handle my problem.

Click to expand...

Sorry to hear about your situation. I don't believe things were always like this. I believe we are living in the last days as per 2 Timothy 3:1-9. There are many who have a form of godliness but they deny the power thereof. They are lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God. As it was in the days of Noah, so shall it be at the coming of the Son of Man. In a way this is good news because it means the return of our Lord for us is coming soon.

As for wanting to find comfort: Read God's Word more, and talk to the Lord more. I know. It is easier said then done. But baby steps. Talk to God about your problems and then read His Word for comfort.

Hopefully these pieces of Scripture will give you comfort.

My Favorite Comfort Verses & Passages:
(Brackets and words in light blue indicate something additional to help the reader know what Scripture is saying, and it is not a part of the actual text).

1. Matthew 11:28-30 --- [Jesus says] “Come unto me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
   
   
2. Psalms 94:18-19 --- “When I said, "My foot is slipping," your unfailing love, LORD, supported me. In the multitude of my thoughts within me your comforts delight my soul.” (Verse 18: NIV) (Verse 19: KJV2000).
   
   
3. Proverbs 12:25 --- “Anxiety in a man's heart weighs it down, But a good word makes it glad” (NASB).
   
   
4. 2 Corinthians 10:5 --- “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;” (AKJV).
   
   
5. Proverbs 3:5-6 ---“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.” (MEV).
   
   
6. Philippians 4:6-7 --- “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (NLT).
   
   
7. Isaiah 40:31 --- “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up [rise up] with wings as [like] eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”
   
   
8. Romans 8:37-39 --- “...in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creation, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
   
   
9. Psalms 55:22 --- “Cast your burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain you...”
   
   
10. Psalms 42:5 --- “Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become restless and disturbed within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall again praise Him For the help of His presence.” (AMP).
    
    
11. Psalms 23:1-6 --- “The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures: he leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul: he leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yes, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies: you anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.” (AKJV).
    
    
12. Psalms 91:1-9 --- “He that dwells in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. He shall cover you with his feathers, and under his wings shall you trust: his truth shall be your shield and buckler. You shall not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flies by day; Nor for the pestilence that walks in darkness; nor for the destruction that wastes at noonday. A thousand shall fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand; but it shall not come near you. Only with your eyes shall you behold and see the reward of the wicked. Because you have made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, your habitation; (AKJV).
    
    
13. Revelation 21:3-5 --- “...Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.”” (AKJV).
    
    
14. Isaiah 41:10 --- “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with… my righteous right hand.” (First half of verse; NLT) (Second half of verse: NIV).
    
    
15. Joshua 1:9 --- “Haven't I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” (HCSB).
    
    
16. Mark 5:36 --- “Be not afraid, only believe.”
    
    
17. Matthew 6:31-34 --- ““Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (NASB).
    
    
18. Psalms 46:1-7 --- “God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, Even though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though its waters roar and be troubled, Though the mountains shake with its swelling. There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God, The holy place of the tabernacle of the Most High. God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God shall help her, just at the break of dawn. The nations raged, the kingdoms were moved; He uttered His voice, the earth melted. The Lord of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our refuge.” (NKJV).
    
    
19. Isaiah 35:3-7 --- “With this news, strengthen those who have tired hands, and encourage those who have weak knees. Say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, and do not fear, for your God is coming to destroy your enemies. He is coming to save you.” (NLT).
    
    
20. Psalms 121:1-8 --- “I look up to the mountains— does my help come from there? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth! He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber. Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps. The LORD himself watches over you! The LORD stands beside you as your protective shade. The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night. The LORD keeps you from all harm and watches over your life. The LORD keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever.” (NLT)........................................................................................................................
    
21. Matthew 14:28-32 ---"And Peter answered him and said, “Lord, if it be you, bid me come unto you on the water.” And he said, “Come.” And when Peter came down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, “Lord, save me.” And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they came into the ship, the wind ceased."

Anyways, I hope these verses and passages bless you today.
May you be at peace in the Lord.

With loving kindness to you in Christ,

Sincerely,

~ BH.

Hi, I'm really sorry to hear about your situation, and I pray that you will find adequate support group that will not only stand by your side in the midst of trials, but also help you draw nearer to God.

I'm not sure how much consolation I can offer through this online post, but I do hope that some of what I have to say can help you .

First of all, we have to remember that all people, including the most devout and sincere Christian, are still flawed, sinful and limited beings. It is true that as God's people, we are supposed to be called to a higher moral standard, but unfortunately that's not always the case. And some Christians are simply not (yet) well-equipped to comfort or give support to those in need (like Job's friends). One suggestion I can offer is for you to pray for them as well. Interceding on others' behalf could give you a wider perspective on the troubles you're currently going through; and if God answers those prayers and change the hearts of your Christian friends, you will reap the benefits.

Second, I don't think it's necessarily wrong for you to accept support from non-believers unless their advice and encouragements are unbiblical (e.g. they're encouraging you to sin or turn away from God to cope). After all, God has given all men common grace, and as intellectual beings, everyone has the capacity to perceive glimpses of godly wisdom every now and then. I recall my pastors would sometimes cite quotes from non-believers in his sermon. God doesn't prohibit us to engage with non-believers (Jesus himself constantly dines with unbelieving sinners). If you aren't sure about how your unbelieving friends might influence you, pray for discernment.

I truly hope you find your answers soon.

Healing with Jesus said:

Not sure what's going on here. I'm extremely isolated, home schooling my three kids. Going through the hardest time with health problems, divorce, and trauma recovery. The few people I know who are believers flee when I share my burdens. And of course I listen too, I'm a supportive and responsive person, I don't just unload. Whereas, the non-believers in my life (some anyway) stick around and support me.

Not sure how to navigate this. My church is extremely small, like 10 people, and only online through Facebook. No interaction except the disjointed/ FB filtered comments section. And I just started going there a couple months ago so they don't know me. I reached out to the pastor asking if there's someone I can connect with, so I hope he writes back.

I don't want to be foolish and have my mind tainted by the world. But the non-believers in my life have been more interested in sticking it out with me during my hardest times.

Most likely spiritual warfare, but that doesn't change the situation. And the non-believers aren't toxic people. So if I have to choose between support from folks and nothing.....

Please, it's not helpful to paste a bunch of Bible verses about not sitting in the counsel of the wicked, being unequally yoked, etc. I get it. I know a good bit of Scripture. But I am wondering how specifically to handle my problem.

Click to expand...

I found exactly the same thing when my life was difficult and this was a much larger congregation. People just do not care in the churches based on my experience, if your life is going smoothly and your materialistic they all want to talk but not when things are not going so well.

The person who helped me was not a practicing Christian and rejected the church a long time ago but still believed in GOD. I believe there are some Christians out there who would help fellow Christians may be but they are very very few.

Peace be to all those in the Body of Christ

Healing with Jesus said:

Not sure what's going on here. I'm extremely isolated, home schooling my three kids. Going through the hardest time with health problems, divorce, and trauma recovery. The few people I know who are believers flee when I share my burdens. And of course I listen too, I'm a supportive and responsive person, I don't just unload. Whereas, the non-believers in my life (some anyway) stick around and support me.

Not sure how to navigate this. My church is extremely small, like 10 people, and only online through Facebook. No interaction except the disjointed/ FB filtered comments section. And I just started going there a couple months ago so they don't know me. I reached out to the pastor asking if there's someone I can connect with, so I hope he writes back.

I don't want to be foolish and have my mind tainted by the world. But the non-believers in my life have been more interested in sticking it out with me during my hardest times.

Most likely spiritual warfare, but that doesn't change the situation. And the non-believers aren't toxic people. So if I have to choose between support from folks and nothing.....

Please, it's not helpful to paste a bunch of Bible verses about not sitting in the counsel of the wicked, being unequally yoked, etc. I get it. I know a good bit of Scripture. But I am wondering how specifically to handle my problem.

Click to expand...

Honestly, believers or not I don't think most people know how to respond to someone going through a seriously difficult time.

We hear about fiancee's leaving the person they were planning on spending the rest of their life with over sudden disability etc..

People often just don't know how to cope with difficulty themselves, so they don't know how to be supportive, and being Christian doesn't necessarily make someone immune...

I've been to hell and back in my life, so I'm personally great at doling out advice on a variety of topics, but as an individual I probably don't make the best listener...

Why? It's partially because I have been through so much that I've ended up with a "fix what you can and live with the rest" type of attitude.

When it comes to living with rest part, we all have to dig extremely deep inside of us to find the wherewithal to rise above, and that part is something you have to find inside of yourself. It doesn't come from others at all, ever.

So where you are, you have a support system - that they aren't Christian matters not; they are your support system.

So, find the answers for the fixable things in your life, and get with God over the rest, He will help you find the strength you need. (And don't worry about yelling at Him sometimes, He's tough, He can take it and still love you anyway...)

I would add do not feel you need to remain at a congregation that is unsupportive (if that pastor does not respond or responds hurtfully). There are others out there and some build support networks into their ministries. So you might find one or two people who miss the clues your struggling, but then their ministry is elsewhere in the church. With a church so small, its much harder to find helpful people. a church too large your likely to get lost in. The best, is a mid sized church that family orientated and community effective.

Still non-believers in Christ might still be a good source of help. Indeed some maybe closer to HaShem without even knowing it. So stay accepting their help, but maybe start looking for another on-line community (maybe one that's also got a building somewhere as well).

It’s true we need fellowship with believers. Don’t trust your unbelieving friend too much. I’ve had somewhat the same experience with people. It’s hard to make friends. Some are always friendly and looking for something, but Christians often don’t want to get involved. They often have so much on their plate. I think it’s a bigger church you need and one that’s meeting. You sound isolated and with raising 3 kids don’t have a lot of time.

My church is meeting but I spend other time on here. I spend time alone too, but instead of relying on others I have just got stronger in the Lord. I am married I have a hobby, I try to better my situation in small ways. We get bored and have nothing to do. I like listening to worship music- good for the kids too. I watch preachers and good videos on YouTube. You need to fellowship with God in your off moments, temporarily, for your sanity. Or call someone once in a while- family maybe.

But don’t ya just have to get out once in a while?

Oftentimes when we’re hurting we forget the person we’re turning to probably has others doing the same. We aren’t the only one sharing a burden and they may be carrying more than they can bear. Especially during difficult seasons like the present.

While I’m not undergoing a trial I hear the woes of family and friends. Everyone comes to me. There are moments when its exhausting. Days when I can’t be a shoulder or hear another depressing story or frustration. Sometimes I can’t do it.

For most, taking on more at present would overwhelm them. You may find solace with older believers whose responsibilities and demands are less than others. They aren’t carrying too much.

You have a lot on your plate. You may have a hard time getting support from women your age with children. The majority are stressed out and teetering themselves. They need relief and may have difficulty helping others.

A Christian counselor and support group would be ideal. They’re prepared to listen and lend an ear. They won’t run away or pull back when you share your pain.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

Healing with Jesus said:

Not sure what's going on here. I'm extremely isolated, home schooling my three kids. Going through the hardest time with health problems, divorce, and trauma recovery. The few people I know who are believers flee when I share my burdens. And of course I listen too, I'm a supportive and responsive person, I don't just unload. Whereas, the non-believers in my life (some anyway) stick around and support me.

Not sure how to navigate this. My church is extremely small, like 10 people, and only online through Facebook. No interaction except the disjointed/ FB filtered comments section. And I just started going there a couple months ago so they don't know me. I reached out to the pastor asking if there's someone I can connect with, so I hope he writes back.

I don't want to be foolish and have my mind tainted by the world. But the non-believers in my life have been more interested in sticking it out with me during my hardest times.

Most likely spiritual warfare, but that doesn't change the situation. And the non-believers aren't toxic people. So if I have to choose between support from folks and nothing.....

Please, it's not helpful to paste a bunch of Bible verses about not sitting in the counsel of the wicked, being unequally yoked, etc. I get it. I know a good bit of Scripture. But I am wondering how specifically to handle my problem.

Click to expand...

Good morning sister. I'm so very sorry to read this and I'd love to be a virtual friend, especially in this crazy covid world we are in. You really need to find a church that is meeting in person! I have no idea where you live, but are there Bible based churches meeting nearby?
I live in Ohio, USA and I go to a fairly small church as well and we went back to live Sunday services May 31st 2020. I need the personal relationships with my church family and although I listen to MANY other pastors and churches through YouTube, nothing takes the place of my intimate family of local believers. Read Hebrews 10: 24-25 "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another- and all the more as you see the DAY approaching." So I'm here to be an encouragement to you, dear sister! Soon and very soon the day of our departure from this evil world is coming. We don't know the day or the hour but Jesus tells us to be READY!
Some of my very favorite pastors to follow are Jack Hibbs nd Tom Hughes in California and JD Farag in Hawaii. You can find any of them on YouTube.
I'd LOVE to keep in touch with you here and I am absolutely praying for you! Keep me posted on how you are doing, please.
I really admire you homeschooling your three children, that's not easy but is so rewarding.