Thank you all so much - he is doing better and was able to talk on the phone.
Glory to God!
Now I want to not burden him with the degree to which I’ve been struggling - I certainly don’t want him feeling badly about being unavailable.
And tbh it’s been a long slide going far back to the virus shutting down the Churches, me being sick for a long time (probably with corona ironically), and trying to redirect my life to a new career, as well as multiple health issues. If anything I’m probably doing a bit better - at least as far as being very humbled by my limitations.
His advice when I shared just some basic comments was to remember God loves us and isn’t angry needing to be placated.
Somehow I have to get back into SOME kind of Orthodox rhythm. I feel like I’m starting from the very very beginning - worse in fact.
Worse except that for the fact that I had tremendous spiritual pride when I first started exploring Orthodoxy. I am pretty much disillusioned of thoughts of spiritual grandeur by now.
Sorry for the ramble. Thanks again SO VERY MUCH for prayers!!!