- Jan 14, 2021
- 2
- 1
- 45
- Country
- United Kingdom
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
The below contains mild and factual descriptions of sexual acts between a husband and wife that go beyond 'vanilla' sex. Feel free to not read on if you think this may not be for you.
Like all good marriages, the relationship is a sexual one.
We've been married 20 years, two kids etc, both upright, 'going for it' Christians. Our marriage is lovely and healthy, but there's something we can't quite figure out.
In the bedroom, one of us likes it kinky. Always has. Even before meeting, even before puberty. Just has a taste for it. Desires range from silver chains jewellery through being tied up / handcuffed all the way to the mild humiliation of being slimed like on tv shows (it's a 'thing' - google it if you dare). It's all that one of us has ever dreamed of. The other just wants to enjoy having normal naked sex.
The kinky one is of the view that what arouses them arouses them and wants their spouse to engage with them sexually - they want to be handcuffed/slimed etc, not handcuff/slime the non-kinky one against their will.
The non kinky one is of the view that the kinkiness obscures the man-to-woman sexual relationship and it isn't in line with God's plan for a sexual relationship - chaining up goes against the grain of love and sliming, as a non-sexual act, is sexuality gone wrong.
We'd discussed it before marriage, but non-kinky one didn't realise it was going to be permanently there as something that the kinky one always wants to do.
Not quite sure how to square this particular circle. The kinky one can only be satisfied when there's a bit of kinkiness involved, the non kinky one thinks its wrong and won't go there. It's hard to find a collaboration where it's win:win - is it impossible?
We're praying lots about how to resolve this, interested to hear any perspectives anyone can share. It's not the sort of thing you can discuss with your Christian friends, so here we are.
Thank you
Like all good marriages, the relationship is a sexual one.
We've been married 20 years, two kids etc, both upright, 'going for it' Christians. Our marriage is lovely and healthy, but there's something we can't quite figure out.
In the bedroom, one of us likes it kinky. Always has. Even before meeting, even before puberty. Just has a taste for it. Desires range from silver chains jewellery through being tied up / handcuffed all the way to the mild humiliation of being slimed like on tv shows (it's a 'thing' - google it if you dare). It's all that one of us has ever dreamed of. The other just wants to enjoy having normal naked sex.
The kinky one is of the view that what arouses them arouses them and wants their spouse to engage with them sexually - they want to be handcuffed/slimed etc, not handcuff/slime the non-kinky one against their will.
The non kinky one is of the view that the kinkiness obscures the man-to-woman sexual relationship and it isn't in line with God's plan for a sexual relationship - chaining up goes against the grain of love and sliming, as a non-sexual act, is sexuality gone wrong.
We'd discussed it before marriage, but non-kinky one didn't realise it was going to be permanently there as something that the kinky one always wants to do.
Not quite sure how to square this particular circle. The kinky one can only be satisfied when there's a bit of kinkiness involved, the non kinky one thinks its wrong and won't go there. It's hard to find a collaboration where it's win:win - is it impossible?
We're praying lots about how to resolve this, interested to hear any perspectives anyone can share. It's not the sort of thing you can discuss with your Christian friends, so here we are.
Thank you