Divorce according to the Bible

Carl Emerson said:

OK want to start a new thread on this?

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If you want, but there won't be much to talk about.

But go ahead, one thing though,

I will not reply until later today, because my clock shows 03.05.

zzzzzzzzzzz

Ashley Amos said:

Please provide chapter and verse of where This is said in the bible.

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Do you think Jesus wants abuse victims to stay with their abusers? Does that really sound like the Jesus you read about in the Gospels and the rest of the New Testament?

The Bible isn't a prison cell.

-CryptoLutheran

Ashley Amos said:

Please provide scripture for your assertions.

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I'd like to see some scripture that supports the idea that something must be found in scripture in order to be valid.

Ashley Amos said:

The Bible in first John states that the Holy Spirit the anointing that was given to you shall teach you all things, you do not need anyone to teach you

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So why are you attempting to teach?

And I want to make sure that it's clear that I am not a fan of divorce. I am not a fan of remarriage either.
These things are life altering decisions usually based on emotions instead of reasonable logical facts.

Here's one article that talks about remarriage.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...-high-failure-rate-second-and-third-marriages

JohnDB said:

And I want to make sure that I am not a fan of divorce. I am not a fan of remarriage either.
These things are life altering decisions usually based on emotions instead of reasonable logical facts.

Here's one article that talks about remarriage.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...-high-failure-rate-second-and-third-marriages

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Rebounding is certainly a thing, and often not a wise thing.

JohnDB said:

And I want to make sure that it's clear that I am not a fan of divorce. I am not a fan of remarriage either.
These things are life altering decisions usually based on emotions instead of reasonable logical facts.

Here's one article that talks about remarriage.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...-high-failure-rate-second-and-third-marriages

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People can have their beliefs about divorce and remarriage but at the end of the day, no one has any business sticking their nose into something that is so important and so very personal to another human being.
If you don't like divorce or remarriage then don't do either and you will have nothing to worry about!

Par5 said:

People can have their beliefs about divorce and remarriage but at the end of the day, no one has any business sticking their nose into something that is so important and so very personal to another human being.
If you don't like divorce or remarriage then don't do either and you will have nothing to worry about!

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I'm not saying that miracles don't happen. Or that people who remarried are living in sin.

Far from that.

I'm saying that divorce is sometimes necessary.
And
Remarriage is a very risky proposition. It usually doesn't work. I have seen it work and work well...but usually it doesn't.

To advocate for a behavior that is hurtful and painful with little chance of success is not looking out for people's best interests. Nor is handing out condemnation for those who have found success after an initial failure.

^ exactly and to call an abuse victim hard hearted for divorcing is flat out wrong.

Just as I will leave your quote as is because it speaks volumes of itself.

I don't feel like we're getting anywhere here, and I'm dumbfounded by some of the comments I'm reading.

Wow.

NerdGirl said:

I'm... I'm so confused, and wonder what I'm reading here.

You say "I'm not condemning anyone", then proceed to call people liars and frauds. Sounds like condemnation to me.

And you don't condone separation if there's abuse occurring? "For those who see separating when things get tough, marriage should never be an option." So you would tell an abused spouse to remain in the home and remain in danger?

Stunning.

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Thing is, seldom if ever do we know who we are marrying,
we only think we do.

A guy may think he has married Rachel,
then he wakes up in the morning and finds he has married Leah.

But with time and effort Rachel will appear.

Unless...........fill in the blanks.

RayJeena said:

So why are you attempting to teach?

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People who misquote that passage never seem to want to include themselves in the category of "teacher" because they want to dismiss everyone else but want to insist on their own innate rightness.

It's just bog standard human arrogance.

-CryptoLutheran

Par5 said:

You also have the rules and regulations regarding marriage violations and divorce found in Deuteronomy 22. They are even more in keeping with the bible's misogynistic attitude towards women.
A man accuses his new bride of not being a virgin and if that is found to be the case she is to be stoned to death. If the accusation is false, the man shall pay her parents 100 shekels of silver and he shall remain married to the woman for life Bad deal both times for the woman. Nothing about the man being a virgin on his wedding night I see.
A man who rapes a woman who is already betrothed shall be put to death, but only if the woman cries out during the rape. If she does not cry out they are both put to death.
Another bad deal for the woman. A woman being so terribly violated may be in shock and unable to cry out, or she may fear her rapist might kill her if she resists. That law is as misogynistic as it gets.
Equally misogynistic is the law that states if a man rapes a virgin who is not betrothed he shall pay her father 50 shekels of silver and she then has to marry her rapist. I think that can be called another bad deal for the woman.
I don't see any of these rules as being the foundation for a happy marriage.
The bible is the last place to look for advice on marriage and divorce.

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I can relate with her sentiment about Deuteronomy 22. Back when this was written men didn't know much about the human body. The hymen was just a loose piece of skin left over from birth and was never ment to be used to determine if a woman has had sex or not. Another issue with this is that not all hymen form the same and can stretch in everyday activities. Sadly many women were probable shamed, put out as sinners or stoned because they did not bleed on their wedding night. This is another myth that all women bleed the first time they have sex. I am sure many women used blood from an animal to put on the bed sheets to show their husband that they were pure.

As for rape it is another hard thing in the bible that you just been brutally raped and now face the community of why your not a virgin anymore. They say either you marry the man and live with the man who did this to you or you face the shame of not being a virgin and the prospect of finding a husband is much more difficult. Men wanted to be the first to be with their wife and not be seconds. Though waiting to marriage is still important if you love the person you have to decide if your willing to look past what they did if they asked God for forgiveness of the sin.

There are a lot of brutal practices in the Bible that we no longer do today like slavery and murder of whole cities that were common in biblical times.


As for the OP I think a lot of the reason I hear of some women staying in an unhappy or abusive relationship is that some churches teach unless your husband commits adultery to separate
from your husband would be frowned upon by the church. With women being taught that they need to be stay at home moms makes it harder for some to start over because they are financially dependent on the husband's income.

2 Chronicles 21:11
King James Version

11 Moreover he made high places in the mountains of Judah and caused the inhabitants of Jerusalem to commit fornication, and compelled Judah thereto.

The 'high places' that the king erected were the alters of the pagan god Baal. Sex with the priest or priestess in worship to any pagan deity was the fornication committed. Because acceptance of the pagan deity was one of the first steps to gaining an alliance for economic trade with their neighboring countries.

The Old Testament description of Jewish divorce in (Deut.24:1-4) did not include the ancient Hebrew word for fornication, but the word for humiliation/disgraceful. If fornication were to have been the reason that divorce were allowed, it would have required the woman to have been stoned to death.
Hence the shock of the 12 disciples when Jesus issued the new divorce decree that the only reason an Israelite could put away his wife was because of fornication. (Mt.19:9)
Since the only reason an Israelite could now divorce his wife was if she committed a sin requiring the death penalty, it was only logical that one of His disciples would conclude then that it is better that a man not even marry.

Carl Emerson said:

For serious study on this issue the Papers released by Bill Heth are an important reference...

Papers attached.

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thanks Carl this looks intereating

Ashley Amos said:

Paul in the matter of dietary and circumcision issues had to defer to Peter. At the end of the day all understanding about Jesus had to be aligned with peters understanding Who was a Illiterate. Also Paul’s scholarly ambitions is what got him in trouble in the first place it’s his Pharisee traditions that had him killing Christians and standing by holding the coats while Stephen was stoned to death, it’s not his scholarly acumen that made him the apostle he was but rather his repentance.

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I agree that God can use anyone regardless of how educated or not they are. I would take issue with the claim that Peter was illiterate. All Jewish boys would have been taught to read the Torah from aged 5 to 13.

ViaCrucis said:

Do you think Jesus wants abuse victims to stay with their abusers? Does that really sound like the Jesus you read about in the Gospels and the rest of the New Testament?

The Bible isn't a prison cell.

-CryptoLutheran

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Amen! The character of God is love and compassion. An abusive marriage is not a valid one of the abuser refuses to repent.

I think many churches hold the view that leaving an abusive marriage is fine but that God would not wish them remarry.

Whether or not they correct about restarting as per the Bible, well is would need to study the Word and @Carl Emerson s link on this issue

Remarrying, not restarting