Feeling Empty and Useless

TenthAveN said:

Honestly, these days I can’t imagine God loving me. All I can think about is how cross He is at me. I am an evil coward, and I’m so deeply rooted in my own abilities. I’m always afraid to share Jesus with others, and it makes me feel anxious to no end. I don’t ever feel truly sorry for my sins, only for the consequences. I fall asleep while praying at night, and the words are so empty, and just sound like fingernails on a chalkboard. If all of this was a trial, I’ve failed miserably.

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And yet God loves you dearly, despite your failures He loves you to learn to love Him and grow your life in His kingdom.

It wasn't until i began to accept His grace in my life that the flame of love for God lit up big time. Sin made me love God for grace.

The best is to know your sin and misery and then go to Jesus with that load. His unfailing love will astound you and change your cold heart into a warm heart.

So eat grace each time you see how miserable you are and you will learn to love God much quicker than otherwise.

The more you love God the freer of sin your life becomes. Love for God does not seek to hurt Him, but wants to adore and praise Him for the good life He brought alive in our hearts loving Him.

Ponder on the cross for a bit i found that really helped me understand the enormous cost Jesus paid to ransom us from our sins.

Loving God makes for a happy faith.

The fact that this is troubling you shows that you are uncomfortable with what you see as your sins. The Holy Spirit is convicting you and rightly so, but don't for a moment think you are the only one who feels like this.

Our sins should make us uncomfortable and I would urge you to move past how you feel God couldn't love you because you know that's not true, He sent His Son to die for you.
Jesus knows you are burdened and He bids us to come and lay our burdens upon Him. He didn't say this for fun, but because He knows that our sins and burdens weigh us down.
I would be lying if I said that I too, never felt like my prayers seem dry but we must break through how we feel and press on regardless.
I have found that listening to Scripture being read is very helpful at the times when even reading is a struggle.
One other thing that I find an absolute blessing from God Himself is a channel called "Scripture Songs for Worship", available freely to listen to that is pure Scripture set to song.(in KJV or NKJV).
Not only are these beautiful, it helps to memorise the Bible in a soothing and wonderful way.
I hope and pray this will be of some help to you.
May God bless you and keep you in His perfect peace

I wonder how Lot felt living in Sodom? Peter gives us an indication.

2Pe 2:7 And delivered just Lot, vexed with the filthy conversation of the wicked:
2Pe 2:8 (For that righteous man dwelling among them, in seeing and hearing, vexed his righteous soul from day to day with their unlawful deeds

I would have to tell you, though I was persecuted: beaten, kicked, spat on, excluded, and reviled; it was easier to witness back then than now. For one thing I did not face government sponsored persecution and I faced no laws banning me from sharing my faith. Its different today with laws being passed that basically say, "Christian... shut up," and that's putting it politely.

However I am reminded that we were warned of these days when political nightfall would come upon the Church. Jesus said it.

Joh 9:4 I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work.
[bold mine]

I am always looking for opportunity to share Jesus with others but it is not so readily available today because people just don't really want to hear. Politically they have been turned off.

When you pray, let your prayer be what you wrote above. Talk to God about these things and ask for his help. God loves honesty.

Read the psalms and use them to help you when you pray. Get the feelings and emotion of the writer and think how you can relate to them then pray according to that. I am sure this will help to revitalise your prayer time.

Praying for you. God bless.

Do your best to put away your negative thoughts they just put you deeper in negativity.
Think about all the good things you are and have done and keep reminding yourself of how much God loves you!
God Bless you, and remind others of his love for them.

TenthAveN said:

This is likely a result of mental illness, but frightening nonetheless.

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When we find animosity against Jesus then we are still believing lies about Him. Meeting Jesus is the very best thing that could happen to you. No loves like He does. No one stands by us the way He does. He is the very best thing that happened to me suffering from a mental illness. His love brought sanity, where fear and dislike for Him grew to love and admiration.

He is an awesome Saviour go to Him even today and lay all your burdens down before Him and let Him take care of them. Jesus can lighten your burden.

Surrender yourself in wrong to Him even now.

TenthAveN said:

Thank you for your replies. My feelings confuse me often, many times they appear o be against Jesus, and it frightens me. This is likely a result of mental illness, but frightening nonetheless.

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Or, perhaps, just another part of growing up; both physically and spiritually. Don't beat yourself up over it just lean on Jesus. Tell our Father in Heaven. He knows just what to do.

When I first became a Christian, many years ago, I was told firmly to not go off feelings. Only the facts stated in the Bible. Here is one to memorize.
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son that all who believe in him will not perish but have everlasting life.

May the Lord bless you with wisdom and understanding as you draw closer to him.

This your mind telling you these things that God doesn't love you, that you are an evil coward. Your mind is powerful and can tell you many things, and also make you feel many different ways.

Your feelings are your feelings Tenth. ( There are scriptures below but sometimes our mind/flesh doesn't want it hopefully the help you see what I am conveying.)

They are not the truth, the truth is God loved you (us) all enough to send his Son Jesus down, and you know what Jesus did?

Jesus made a choice to die for you (us), because how much he loved us, and paid for your (our) sins. That he would break the power over the bondage of sin in our life, right now today and we can experience freedom in having faith in him, that we do not have to be in bondage to the what our mind and the world tells us to believe.

Instead believe in the truth. God does love you, has forgiven you, what you do with this is up to you, he breaks all of our bondage to sin because of the spirit that is of power (over our mind by it being the truth), love, and self-control not of fear.

Now what you do with this information is up to you.

We can let our mind have power over us, or we can build the spirit to have power over our mind, they will always be fighting constantly with each other. (Gal 5), its a choice to build the spirit or let the mind do whatever it wants.

There will be storms in life that come, sometimes they are just showers. They will pass, and the sun shall come out again.


Free Scriptures:

• Joshua 1:9 This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
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• Galatians 6:
• 14 As for me, may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross, my interest in this world has been crucified, and the world’s interest in me has also died. 15 It doesn’t matter whether we have been circumcised or not. What counts is whether we have been transformed into a new creation. 16 May God’s peace and mercy be upon all who live by this principle; they are the new people of God.
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• 17 From now on, don’t let anyone trouble me with these things. For I bear on my body the scars that show I belong to Jesus.
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• 18 Dear brothers and sisters, may the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.
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• Colossians 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart. 3 Pray for us, too, that God will give us many opportunities to speak about his mysterious plan concerning Christ. That is why I am here in chains. 4 Pray that I will proclaim this message as clearly as I should.
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• 5 Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. 6 Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.
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• Romans 5:8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. 9 And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation. 10 For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son.
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• Galatians 5:1 For freedom did Christ set us free: stand fast therefore, and be not entangled again in a yoke of bondage.
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• 2 Timothy 4: 22 May the Lord be with your spirit. And may his grace be with all of you.

Behave like Jesus. That’s enough. You don’t need words, tracks, or anything else. Love trumps them all. That’s what people remember most.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

TenthAveN said:

Honestly, these days I can’t imagine God loving me. All I can think about is how cross He is at me. I am an evil coward, and I’m so deeply rooted in my own abilities. I’m always afraid to share Jesus with others, and it makes me feel anxious to no end. I don’t ever feel truly sorry for my sins, only for the consequences. I fall asleep while praying at night, and the words are so empty, and just sound like fingernails on a chalkboard. If all of this was a trial, I’ve failed miserably. Prayers and advice are always appreciated.

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God knows your heart. Revealing your truth is the first step to knowing Him. Outwardly sharing the Gospel would be in vain because inwardly your love for our Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth may not be defined. The good news is "The Father" loves you. He will be there when you are ready to surrender. Be blessed.

@TenthAveN you are just wanting for a little discipline. I sympathize with you or empathize but... find a better time to pray when you can stay awake. Cold starts are hard, but get into the mood by God blessing a lot of people. Keep praying for opportunities to say something about Jesus and share from a lesson at church. It really does help to go to church and prepare for the week. You just need a little more effort. Or you could be depressed Covid isolation is draining and of opportunities also.

Don’t be afraid of those thoughts they are natural. The natural man, the flesh, the old man. Sin lives in us, learn to fight those thoughts and take them captive as in 1cor10:3-5.