Woman "becomes" lesbian, but would be "heartbroken" if husband found someone else

This is a Christians only section. Of course they are going to discuss this situation from a faith based POV. Not make excuses for it.

ViaCrucis said:

You're using the word in a purely injurious way for the express purpose of demeaning and slandering this man's masculinity. The point is to call into question someone's credentials as a man. It's the language of petty immature internet trolls. And has precisely zero place in a conversation among mature Christian adults.

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There is a sense in which cuckold can be used that way, yes. It's used that way in Shakespeare and even as far back as Chaucer. It's one of the most time honored insults in the English language, though it fell out of favor in the twentieth century. Used that way, it doesn't mean literally that his wife is sleeping with another man, but suggests that if she was, he'd lack the spine to do anything about it. Thing is, it can't he used in that way here, precisely because the man in question is, literally, a cuckold.

ViaCrucis said:

And, as we all know, Donald Trump is a fine and upstanding example of Christian behavior to be emulated.

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He's a man, at least...

bèlla said:

A related word, first appearing in 1520, is wittol, which substitutes wit (in the sense of knowing) for the first part of the word, referring to a man aware of and reconciled to his wife's infidelity.

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And you know, I know all about those men
Still I don't remember
'Cause it was us baby, way before them
And we're still together

REO Speedwagon "Keep on Loving You"

SoldierOfTheKing said:

And you know, I know all about those men
Still I don't remember
'Cause it was us baby, way before them
And we're still together

REO Speedwagon "Keep on Loving You"

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At the end of the day it comes down to choosing the flaws you can live with. I'm practical. Infidelity may not be a deal breaker. But I'll put him out. We have to live apart for a year at least. He needs to work through his issues.

Marriage has its share of ups and downs. I'm single for a reason.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

ViaCrucis said:

Decent human being comes to mind.

But hey, let's toss the 'c' word around because it's hip to be toxic.

-CryptoLutheran

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What's toxic is the insidious poison of taking a knife in the back and smiling as if her affront to his dignity were No Big Deal. Having no self respect is toxic

bèlla said:

At the end of the day it comes down to choosing the flaws you can live with. I'm practical. Infidelity may not be a deal breaker. But I'll put him out. We have to live apart for a year at least. He needs to work through his issues.

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Wow I wish I have this kind of fortitude. Likely I'll have filed for divorce of my "hypothetical" wife. I have none but knowing myself it's the most likely outcome. The issue is will we remain on friendly terms. I believe in the sanctity of marriage. While I don't look at my partner's past, I don't expect present or future infidelity/adultery. And I pray I won't initiate it either.

bèlla said:

Marriage has its share of ups and downs.

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So true when we look at the divorce stats. On the flipside I also see a lot of unhappy couples bound by societal expectation, children or religious laws. I think there must be a happy median somewhere. Humans are flawed creatures.

bèlla said:

I'm single for a reason.

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A club I'm in as well unfortunately. But gotta pray and hope God will lead me somewhere.

bèlla said:

Opting not to throw her under the bus in a public statement doesn't make him a cuckhold. He's probably maintaining decorum for the sake of the children.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

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Self degredation is defilement not decorum

KarateCowboy said:

Self degredation is defilement not decorum

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I don't disagree. Seeing how this made news I doubt both the man and woman cared much about any form of etiquette or self-deprecation. I sense that it's a public showing; or the "kids these days saying" virtue signaling. But that's just my take.

Maybe I'm old school in societal norms but one does not air one's dirty laundry for the world to see. More so make a circus of it.

IceJad said:

Wow I wish I have this kind of fortitude. Likely I'll have filed for divorce of my "hypothetical" wife. I have none but knowing myself it's the most likely outcome. The issue is will we remain on friendly terms. I believe in the sanctity of marriage. While I don't look at my partner's past, I don't expect present or future infidelity/adultery. And I pray I won't initiate it either.

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It isn't fortitude. Sexual sin doesn't have the same sting others do. That doesn't mean I agree with it. Sleeping with another woman doesn't diminish my beauty or worth. Nor does watching inappropriate contentography. My sexuality isn't validated through a man. Infidelity doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. I don't internalize his sin and turn the knife on myself.

So true when we look at the divorce stats. On the flipside I also see a lot of unhappy couples bound by societal expectation, children or religious laws. I think there must be a happy median somewhere. Humans are flawed creatures.

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I require authenticity in my relationships. Hiding behind religion and societal expectations won't work. I'd call it out. I like someone who can be real and acknowledge their imperfections. I have zero patience for holy rollers. I don't wanna live with that.

A club I'm in as well unfortunately. But gotta pray and hope God will lead me somewhere.

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I don't begrudge my singleness. Life is easy. Men bring problems.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

KarateCowboy said:

Self degredation is defilement not decorum

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I could posit the same about people who've forgiven unspeakable acts. Things that appear degrading to me. But it isn't me. That's the difference.

I don't have to understand the how or why. Or agree. I'm not walking it out. They are. What I consider degrading may be a loving act in their eyes.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

bèlla said:

It isn't fortitude. Sexual sin doesn't have the same sting others do. That doesn't mean I agree with it. Sleeping with another woman doesn't diminish my beauty or worth. Nor does watching inappropriate contentography. My sexuality isn't validated through a man. Infidelity doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. I don't internalize his sin and turn the knife on myself.

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I may not blame myself but I'm going to be very hurt by such betrayal not going to lie. Even to the point of hateful. Well because I went through it with my ex-gf. So knowing me it's not very pretty. Not that I'm justifying myself. Could have done better with myself.

bèlla said:

I require authenticity in my relationships. Hiding behind religion and societal expectations won't work. I'd call it out. I like someone who can be real and acknowledge their imperfections. I have zero patience for holy rollers. I don't wanna live with that.

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Agreed.

bèlla said:

Men bring problems.

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Couldn't agree more being a man myself. I look at the mess I made of my life and the first thing I would say to myself is "Man! What have you gotten yourself into now!"

IceJad said:

I may not blame myself but I'm going to be very hurt by such betrayal not going to lie. Even to the point of hateful. Well because I went through it with my ex-gf. So knowing me it's not very pretty. Not that I'm justifying myself. Could have done better with myself.

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Of course there will be pain. But some people turn the blame on themselves and believe they're lacking because he strayed. I don't agree with that. His failure doesn't give me license to pommel myself. There's no upside to doing it.

My identity isn't interwoven with marriage. Being a wife is an honor. But there's a comma behind it. I'm that and so much more. I don't expect perfection. I'm not looking for utopia. It doesn't exist. I don't have marriage on a pedestal. It isn't the make or break for my happiness. I'm happy already.

I'm looking for someone to share my life with. But he isn't my life. We'll love and fail one another. What matters most is how we cope with the valleys and find our way back to the summit.

Couldn't agree more being a man myself. I look at the mess I made of my life and the first thing I would say to myself is "Man! What have you gotten yourself into now!"

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I tried to wiggle out of it. He's like, no way.

SoldierOfTheKing said:

but suggests that if she was, he'd lack the spine to do anything about it. Thing is, it can't he used in that way here, precisely because the man in question is, literally, a cuckold.



He's a man, at least...

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So which is it.

Is the point about using a word in a technical sense, or is it about belittling a guy's manhood? Because you seem to want to be saying he's not a "real man" while using "well according to the dictionary..." as a cover.

-CryptoLutheran

KarateCowboy said:

What's toxic is the insidious poison of taking a knife in the back and smiling as if her affront to his dignity were No Big Deal. Having no self respect is toxic

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Could you imagine if the people you loved nailed you to a cross and then telling them that they're forgiven? What would you say about Someone like that?

-CryptoLutheran

KarateCowboy said:

Self degredation is defilement not decorum

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"Have the same mind in you that was in Christ Jesus, who, though being in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be exploited, but made Himself of no repute, taking the form of a slave, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on the cross." - Philippians 2:5-8

-CryptoLutheran

IceJad said:

Again what this got to do with Trump? For your info I neither support Trump or Biden. There satisfied? There is a American politics forum here if you want that kind of direction.

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my comment wasn't directed at you.

Ignatius the Kiwi said:

Should I conclude from a person's support for Joe Biden that they're racist like he is then? Or that they support not recognizing their own grand children if they pose as a potential embarrassment?

Come back with better material. No one here supports someone walking away from their responsibility to their wife.

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remind me again how many times Trump has walked away from a marriage and how many affairs he had.

NerdGirl said:

What on earth!

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pretty self explanatory. the question was asked who here supports any man who walked away form his wife.

SilverBear said:

my comment wasn't directed at you.

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You missed the mark by a long long shot. This issue is about how people actively dismantled their marriages. It happens. There is no left or right politically here. Ignatius merely pointed out that no loving and responsible partner will do such a thing to their significant other.

You were the first to bring up political leanings as a debate point. If you want to say Trump is an example then say it as such. Don't insinuate those who voted for him as condoning his past failed marriages. That is why rightly so you got push back from others by bring up Biden's own short comings as failing of his supporters by association.

And subsequently the other just want to steer the conversation back to the topic. No one is here to cheer or jeer the current American President or the President in waiting. Read the atmosphere as the Japanese would say.

bèlla said:

It isn't fortitude. Sexual sin doesn't have the same sting others do. That doesn't mean I agree with it. Sleeping with another woman doesn't diminish my beauty or worth. Nor does watching inappropriate contentography. My sexuality isn't validated through a man. Infidelity doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. I don't internalize his sin and turn the knife on myself.



I require authenticity in my relationships. Hiding behind religion and societal expectations won't work. I'd call it out. I like someone who can be real and acknowledge their imperfections. I have zero patience for holy rollers. I don't wanna live with that.



I don't begrudge my singleness. Life is easy. Men bring problems.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

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Sexual sins are the worst, they destroy our communion with God, and they diminish more than your beauty or worth, they just take you to a worst place in your relationship with God.

NBB said:

Sexual sins are the worst, they destroy our communion with God, and they diminish more than your beauty or worth, they just take you to a worst place in your relationship with God.

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My husband’s sexual sin isn’t going to rupture my relationship with God.

Yours in His Service,

~bella