Just barely kept my virginity, now in a celibate relationship that God continues to bless...

Hi there,

So I don't think I will make this all that long, but I have three main points I want to make:

1. I confessed my sin when I was about ten (10)
2. I had my virginity tested when I was twenty (20)
3. I was baptised when I was twenty-four (24)

For a long time after my virginity was tested, well, even before that I had no self-control, in my desire. But what happened was that I started to long for a pure relationship with the Lord, again. It didn't happen immediately, but I realized (which is point 'four' really) just how important my faith in Jesus - virginly speaking - was. Like I realised that I wanted to die with what was left of my virginity, in tact.

Throughout this time, God was preparing me to marry and I began to understand that the more I put his virginity first, the less mine was tested: because the Devil simply cannot attack a virgin with something that he does not have (and someone with part of their virginity in tact, is defended in a similar way). It does not mean I am cheating my wife, as we both agree that it would be best if we waited for Heaven. And we have a desire to foster, children - which is a blessing from God.

I guess what is missing, is that I have not heard God approve of these things, I have sort of worked them out, in my own way - hoping to put the flesh to death, keeping hope in life and desiring the way of the Spirit. I really believe I can overcome this way - I have all of Heaven cheering me on, saying "the finish line is just ahead! Keep what is left of your chastity!". The world will tell you 'not worth it! give up!" but it doesn't know the reward that is ahead, even for those that have fallen from the path a little, but want to get back on it. That is the point! We are being lead whether we know it or not, to a higher calling - in every part of our lives.

So yes! I am grateful! The suffering of the flesh produces it's reward in due time, there does not have to be back-sliding, but there is mercy, if there is back-sliding. God promises to search for those, most in need of Him! His promise is with us, until we are found and helped back to the path. I am waiting for those who will see my testimony and claim the return, for themselves. This will please the Father - let us consecrate ourselves to the higher standard that the Holy Spirit sets (we will see the restrainer work, we will be justified by God's Wisdom, we will commit the latter end that the Lord raise us in the Last Day, not just with what we were given, but with all we added to it).

This is the blood of the Lamb, that the word of our faith go throughout all the land; this is the power of testimony, that the fallen rise again.

Maranatha! God bless, you!

Carl Emerson said:

This is a problem...

What happened to the command to be fruitful and multiply?

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I think what it is, is that chastity is of more value, than children of another generation.

God does not disapprove of children - I am going to foster children, after all - just that relationships in this life, should be made in His Spirit.

Only the Devil would be disappointed that a child of God, be consecrated to Him.

I have children in Heaven, that I do not have on Earth - maybe that is what God meant by "be fruitful and multiply"?

Carl Emerson said:

Can you confirm this from scripture?

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"Blessed are the children of the barren" is what I think it says (Isaiah 54:1)

What makes you think that sex in marriage can not be motivated by the love of Jesus?

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It can, just not as much.
I get that this is weird for you, because you basically did the expected thing?
I didn't have that luxury, someone was insistent, I didn't know what to say and now I want what is left of my life back.
I'm prepared to go to God, directly, to get it?

My problem is: I can only reverse the damage of past relationships so much and now that I want to be faithful to someone, without all that, I am finding that I am unsettled - like "better to marry, than to burn with a passion" with steroids. I really don't even know how my internal clock works, now or later.

I guess I am just pitching it, on the basis of "later" having more worth than "now"?

My prayer is that the Holy Spirit intercede for me, with my wife - that our relationship be salvaged from the fire.

Hmm said:

Sorry, I don't understand this. How can you have "part of your virginity intact"? Virginity is binary: you're either a virgin or you're not,

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I was in a relationship, in which I did not reciprocate (the carnal).